When a woman has vaginismus, her vagina’s muscles squeeze or spasm when something is entering her, like a tampon or a penis. It can be mildly uncomfortable, or it can be painful. There are exercises a woman can do that can help, sometimes within weeks. vaginismus
Symptoms
Painful sex is often a woman’s first sign that she has vaginismus. The pain happens only with penetration. It usually goes away after withdrawal, but not always. Women have described the pain as a tearing sensation or a feeling like the man is “hitting a wall.” Many women who have vaginismus also feel discomfort when inserting a tampon or during a doctor’s internal pelvic exam.
Causes
Doctors don’t know exactly why vaginismus happens. It’s usually linked to anxiety and fear of having sex. But it’s unclear which came first, the vaginismus or the anxiety. Some women have vaginismus in all situations and with any object. Others have it only in certain circumstances, like with one partner but not others, or only with sexual intercourse but not with tampons or during medical exams.
Other medical problems like infections can also cause painful intercourse. So it’s important to see a doctor to determine the underlying cause of pain during sex.
Treatment
Women with vaginismus can do exercises, in the privacy of their own home, to learn to control and relax the muscles around the vagina. The approach is called progressive desensitization, and the idea is to get comfortable with insertion.
First, do Kegel exercises by squeezing the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when urinating:
That Sex High
Dating Tips
Good times to ask are when you’re both watching a movie (whisper it in his ear if you’re at the movies), about to finish dinner, or in the latter half of a romantic walk.
I’m a male, still quite young at 20 and am in my first serious relationship. My partner is 5 years older than me and is very experienced sexually, which for me was always a point of insecurity because I lost my virginity to her. After dating for 8 months, we entered the long distance stage of our relationship. And in my first months away from her, I developed a very strong cuckold fetish that I had not ever felt prior. But, here’s the thing: it scares me… a lot. It makes me very afraid of my sexuality, because I’ve always hoped to achieve a sexual relationship with a lover and life partner where we practice monogamy, and if there are any kinks we want to try out, we could make it happen for each other. That seems ideal to me. No jealousy involved, no shaming, no arousal from emotional pain, no getting turned on by compersion. I wish I could cut these sources of pleasure out of my system. I’m not sure what caused my fetish the first place, but it’s most likely because of my insecurities being less experienced than her and also being in different countries, where she has to “hold herself back” by being in a currently monogamous relationship. It makes me feel guilty for forcing her to inhibit herself. I have never told her about this fetish of mine. Should I? We’re open to talking about sexual fantasies and I love it – we’re very open and honest. But I’ve heard of cases where the girlfriend will be ashamed or feel unloved by her boyfriend’s cuckold fetish. Or, worse yet, she’ll be into the idea, and my fetish would push me to match her up with other men. I know that if I did this I would feel momentary pleasure but then feel ashamed and worthless afterwards. I just want to forget it all and relieve myself of the burdens of my new-found sexual interests. What are your thoughts?
Semen Says: Simon Says with a twist! You can play this with a single partner, at a swinging party, at a gay party, or wherever you feel the rules can apply. One player (male) must be Semen Says. Anything Semen Says, you must do. The trick here is, Semen Says cannot get an erection. Ex: Player 1 says, “Semen says lick under both of my arms for 30 seconds.” If Player 2 (or multiple other players) licks under Player 1’s arms, and Player 1 gets an erection, his turn is over. You can create your own rules, but for ideas sake, if Player 1 gets an erection he must give oral sex to Player 2 (or all other players involved) until Player 2 orgasms. However, if Player 2 refuses to lick under Player 1’s arms, Player 2 must give oral sex to Player 1 until he cums. Now why would Player 2 refuse a request? Who knows, maybe it’s something she/he has never thought of doing, doesn’t want to do because it crosses a personal boundary, or Player 2 is just horny and wants to suck Semen Says dick. Obviously this game needs at least one man. This game is also a great ice breaker for fmf (female/male/female) threesomes, which as our readers know, is something we enjoy ourselves. Having the man challenge the ladies to do different kinky things to him until he inevitably gets an erection gets everyone to relax. When he loses, he gets to spend the rest of the night pleasuring them for winning the game. It’s a win win. With an even larger group (mmff++), Semen Says gets more foreplay attention from various partners….until of course he losses.