Foursome Memoirs: The Silent Partner, Phone Sex, and Swingers

This is possibly the shortest running memoir series we will have on this blog.   1 post.

So we have been members of  a swing lifestyle website for years but have never met anyone from this site.  In fact, we have probably been members for just as long as we have blogged.   We’ve heard that although we only hook up with women, it’s still technically considered part of the swingers lifestyle.   Most swingers do actively look for a bi female, also known as the unicorn.  This past week, things changed.   We spoke with a couple that was interested in having the wife spoiled by another couple.   They were both in their second marriage and had only been married for about 3 months.  Personally, we both thought this was too soon, but we didn’t mention it. It was stated up front that the other wife wasn’t comfortable with Venice and her husband hooking up, which was fine with us, because it isn’t something we do anyway.  The couple both spoke with us on Kik and talked about how they spent their honeymoon having a mmf threesome with the husband’s friend.   Kind of weird I guess, but whatever.  The husband talked a lot about how he is doing this for her, it’s all about her needs, and he is really just a silent partner that enjoys watching his wife pleased.  He said he was really excited to see her with another woman.

We decided that this couple may be a match for us.  Although we have never done anything with a husband/boyfriend in the same room, it does turn us on to think about having sex in front of another couple.  We also thought we’d enjoy watching another couple have sex in front of us.  In hindsight, this may not be a reality for us.  As a couple, we like to joke around, take things a little less serious, and we tend to use comedy as a way to deal with uncomfortable situations.   This would probably be a recipe for disaster when watching a horny couple getting it on in front of us.

Continue Reading Foursome Memoirs: The Silent Partner, Phone Sex, and Swingers

Attention all Virgins Looking To Have Sex For The First Time

Like A Virgin, Touched For The Very First Time

We found an interesting take on the idea of losing your virginity being “over hyped” and not a big deal.  Although this guide was written with the right idea in mind, the author seems to lose himself and accidentally makes virginity that much more of a big deal.   I mean, he wrote a whole essay about it!

Disclaimer:  It may seem like we are coming off toxic, but please know we are just being lighthearted and having fun with the article.  Our comments are meant to add a bit of entertainment value to the original guide, because… why not?

LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY ISN’T THAT BIG OF A  DEAL  A GUIDE TO LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY.

So, I’ve just turned 28 which means that I’m now enough of an old man to give life advice 🙂  I’ve been reading a bunch of people asking questions about the topic of losing their virginity lately and wanted to give my thoughts.

Losing your virginity is a big deal only if you never had sex

We’re conditioned by society (and maybe religion too) to think of our first time having sex as this huge milestone, like a watershed moment in becoming adults, or something like that. There are countless movies about boys and girls having sex for the first time (more on that later).

In retrospect, your first time having sex is no big deal. It will just be the first time of many more. Ten years later, you’ll consider that moment just the same as the first day of school as a kid. While you might remember well your first math class (and it might still haunt you), your memories from your schooling days will be primarily made of all the other experiences you’ve had during those years.

Your first time will be ‘ok’ at best

Forget the movies: your first time is very unlikely to be anything like that. Sex is dirty, messy, stinky, and in general quite gross, to be honest. You might end up being all sweaty (try showering together at the end). It likely won’t be as finely romantic as in that Hollywood movie.

In my first time, I remember being so nervous and excited at the same time, that I actually had a partial black out, and at the time I felt like I was “on autopilot” and my memories are confused (yet I was fully sober).

Venice:  Yea, it’s totally not a big deal guys.  I mean, you will get confused, literally black out from all the endorphins like you are high and drunk, and then write about it for years to come.  Not a big deal though.  lol.

Ryan:   And this is why men all over the world are excited, anxious, and can’t wait to lose their virginity.  They want to black out too!!  You can ride a roller coaster once and be so scared and excited that you black out. That’s a rush and a crazy experience.  Now if you ride roller coasters so much it loses all it’s luster, then yes, it’s easy to look back and say, “Riding a roller coaster isn’t a big deal.”  Nothing compares to the first time you rode a roller coaster, even if it was the old clunky wood one that didn’t do any loopty loops!  

Continue Reading Attention all Virgins Looking To Have Sex For The First Time

Q&A: Boyfriend found videos of me in old amateur porn. How do we recover?

Boyfriend found videos of me in old amateur porn. How do we recover?

Disclaimer: I thought I’d deleted the pictures from everywhere but somehow he found them on my laptop.

If it matters, my boyfriend is in his early 30s and I’m in my late 20s.

A few months ago, my boyfriend of 2 years found old videos and pictures of me having sex with someone else. It was someone I had previously told him I’d had sex with, so he knew it’d happened. He did not know the other guy personally.

Since then, he has confided in me that he felt numb after seeing the pictures, sex is emotionally painful for him because the pictures and videos pop into his head several times and it makes him lose his sex drive, and he has not felt as affectionate towards me.

In the first several days following his discovery, we had a lot of weird, emotionally detached sex, initiated by him.

Now we still have sex as much as we used to, but I can tell there is some kind of block… he’s just not into it like he used to be. Neither am I because I feel sad about what he saw and I know it hurt him. He doesn’t kiss me or hug me like he used to.

We both agreed that we don’t have bad feelings for each other, however, we don’t know how to get over this. Any advice on moving forward would be greatly appreciated.

Venice’s response to him finding my old amateur porn
This is a tough situation. That kind of discovery can be very devastating to someone. Because even though he knows that you’ve had partners before him (I’m assuming), seeing pictures of you with another man (even if they were before you started dating each other) would just as bad as seeing you with a new man you are cheating with. Right now, he’s traumatized and no matter how hard he tries to tell himself that they’re not recent, it still hurts him to see another man do that to someone he loves. You will just have to reassure him that you have no feelings for your ex and that you did not intentionally keep the pictures. Remind him that you would never let another man touch you while you’re together. They’re just pictures from your past, not your present.

Ryan’s response  to him finding my old amateur porn
This is a tough one.  I don’t know how you will recover, but if you love each other and you are meant to be together, you will recover.  Only time will fix this one.  From seeing your ex lovers penis size, to seeing the things he did with you.  You can never erase the pictures in his head, but if you love him, you can paint your own pictures.  Love makes everything better.  Love makes a dick bigger.  Love makes sex better.  Assure him, if you love him, that everything he does, everything he has, is better in every way.  

Venice tells me my dick is bigger than an elephants.  Although that absolutely is not true, she says it in such a way that I say, “Fuck it, maybe it is.”  Woman can convince us of anything.  The power of pussy, the power of love, the power of your natural innocence.  White lies, love lies, I don’t care what anyone says, it makes me feel good.  It helps with my insecurity.  And if a woman loves you so much she believes her own lies, I can live with that.  Like in the movie The Matrix when the man is eating a steak he knows isn’t real, “Sometimes ignorance is bliss.”

I’ve been banned for trolling because of my ideas about Sex on my Period

Sex on my Period

As weird as it may sound, I have been banned from marriage forums because of my lifestyle, my ideas about sex, or how I believe relationships work.  I guess I can understand why.  A lot of these marriage websites preach ideas about monogamy, so I already do not fit in.  The fact I allow other women in our bedroom with me and my husband is already breaking a few marriage rules.   However, my ideas about sex on my period wasn’t something I thought was out of the ordinary or so unbelievable that I would be banned and called a troll.

First, let me remind you of how much I love my cycle.  To have a period is a blessing. It’s beautiful. It’s Mother Nature telling you, “You can have children now.” It means legacy. I love my period. I embrace it every month. I look forward to it and everything that comes with it – good and bad. When I tell my husband that I want him to fuck me on my period, I’m not trying to disgust him. I’m not doing it as punishment or revenge. I do it because he is the only person in the world who deserves to mix fluids with me. How can I not love feeling a hard dick easily slide inside me because of my heavy flow of blood.  I love feeling the wetness beneath me, the red smearing between our bodies.  Nothing turns me on more than soaking his lap, his man bush, his balls, his stomach, with my blood and egg.  To me this is equivalent to his cum dripping all over my body.  His semen is one half of procreation, my egg is the other half.  He isn’t using his millions of sperm to make babies, we are done with that.  So in other words, his little “eggs’ are in his body swimming around waiting to be released for no other reason other than they want to explore the world, my vagina, my back, my face, my throat, and my ass.  Lucky little guys!  Well, my egg is also waiting to be released.  And when I release it, I like to cover my man’s body in it.  I want to ride him on a heavy day and let my fluids pour out all over him.  And much like men want to see how we react to the release of their semen, I like to see him react to release of my blood and egg.  So much so, that I will get off him, grab my phone and demand he stroke himself in my fluids while I take pictures of his body and dick soaked in my menstrual cycle.  I’d upload the pictures, but I’d probably be banned from the internet!

Is that weird?  lol   Okay, maybe I deserved to be banned! Sex On My Period

Making a Sex Cocktail inside your Vagina

Making a Sex Cocktail with your Vagina.

So if you are not open minded and ideas about the body gross you out, do not read any further.  This is a drink made inside your body, mixing all the juices you and your partner have to offer.   

First you and your partner can entertain oral sex however you prefer it.  If you take turns or you 69 is your thing.  Both of you leave each other messy with saliva and really wet up each others genitals.  This is the first ingredient to your sex cocktail.  Next up is the fun part, you have sex!  This will mix your saliva, the froth from his penis, the natural juices inside your vagina.  Sound delicious yet? 

The next part is a bit tricky.  I’ve heard men have trouble urinating while erect, especially while having sex.  Ryan pulls his dick out and kind of rubs his head and as he urinates, shoves it all the way back inside my body.  This works great for us.  On top of his own urine, I will squirt throughout sex, let him pull out and I will squirt on his head, and he will insert himself back inside me and mix both of our flavors.

The final ingredient?  Both of you orgasm!  

When you are both done, his penis will be as sloppy as it can get, with both of your urine, his froth, your vagina juices, saliva, his semen, and your own orgasm fluids.  Enjoy the flavor and suck his body clean.  And if he is a man that is into the connection, your bodies, he will go down and drink from the holy grail of creampies.  A sex cocktail!

Below is a question from someone online that has shown interest in this type of activity:

Okay, so long story short, for a few months now I had a sexual fantasy about my boyfriend peeing inside of me. I watched porn and touched myself thinking about it, but didn’t bring it up to my partner yet.

I honestly have no clue where this fantasy came from, if it has something to do with being a submissive type, but the thought of it is so sexy and intimate to me, but being peed on doesn’t interest me.

Before I do bring it up to him (will still probably be a while since I’m not so confident about sharing this yet) I wanted to ask what are some of yours experiences? Is it unhealthy? Any tips? Thanks for sharing!

Venice’s response: 
As long as you both are clean, no infections or stds, you will be fine.  Although his urine may throw off the pH balance of your vagina, this can happen during normal intercourse or with a person’s semen that you haven’t been with before.  Women all over the world “squirt” urine during sex and continue to get pounded afterwards.  Your own urine would throw off your pH balance, like his would.  Your vagina can cleanse itself.  Does that mean you are guaranteed not to get a UTI?  No, you can get a UTI from taking baths, using too much soap in that area, panties being too tight, keeping semen inside yourself, and a 100 other ways.  

I did not want to argue over whether a “squirt” is urine or a females ejaculation, as I do believe a woman can ejaculate fluids, I have.  Although rare, it definitely wasn’t urine.  A lot of woman mimic these rare occurrences with urine.  I do.  This is why that topic is so confusing.  Sometimes it is pee, sometimes it isn’t.  

Ryan’s response: 
We are conditioned through society to feel like certain things are okay, while others are not.  If we didn’t know what sex was, it would seem like the most filthiest thing 2 humans can do.  Two bodies sweaty and rubbing against each other, kissing and sucking each others mouths and swapping saliva, both of your genitals dripping with fluids naturally lathering up for intercourse, then rubbing back and forth for an hour until you each cum inside each other.  Filthy huh?  Hell no, it sounds like I just wrote a love story and a new 50 shades of grey!  Urine is only as gross as your mind allows it to be.  Have fun!