Threesome Memoirs: Table of Contents
First off, every picture in my profile is mine and real.
A little about me? I’m friendly and a great listener. I’d be just as happy making a new bisexual female friend as I would finding a partner for a threesome. I think simple flirting can be fun and sexy. I am married, bisexual, and not looking to hook up with another woman for a lesbian relationship / experience. To clarify, I am bisexual, not lesbian, and I’m only looking for bisexual experiences, not lesbian. I am not comfortable meeting or hooking up without my husband, but his role can be limited so everyone is comfortable. If you prefer to just chat, e-mail, or text, you will only talk with me, the lady. Before exchanging more photos, I’d prefer to talk on the phone to make sure I know who I am texting or emailing. After phone verification, we do not have to talk again until both parties agree.
If anyone is interested, please send a message. I am not interested in couples, men, or studs. Serious ladies only please.
The last thing I ever expected when listing my threesome ad on a dating website was that I would piss off a bunch of angry lesbians and studs. What’s a stud? A stud is a lesbian woman that acts and dresses like a man. Being that some of them look so much like men, unless an actual man was gay and attracted to girls that look like men, a stud usually only hooks up with ladies. The ultimate lesbians. I am unsure if studs hook up with other studs, but they do run in packs and I am sure they “run trains” on other more feminine females. You know, like men do. I’d say most of the emails below came from local studs, but I could be wrong.
I write this with a smile on my face as I really do not want to upset an entire community, but I just didn’t expect the backlash I would get from not wanting to hook up with another woman alone.
“How are you going to dangle your dirty Asian pussy in our faces and say you are bisexual but you do not want to hook up with a woman alone? You have some fucking nerve bitch. How about you let the real bitches hook up with the horny housewives and you just sit at home and kick cans.”
I didn’t respond to this message because quite frankly, it scared me. I mean, usually I try to respond to everyone and be as friendly as possible, but I think the fact I existed pissed off this lady.
“I hope you washed that bench after you were done sitting on it, you Mexican skank. You couldn’t handle a bitch like me alone anyway. So yea, stay behind your hubby for protection.”
This may actually be the same person as the first message, but since I ignored it, she decided to write again on a seperate email. I have no idea, but this time I replied. “Don’t worry, I washed the bench with your mother’s tongue.” Like I said, I try to be friendly as possible. I wanted this person to know that I care about the environment and I would never leave a bench dirty with my skank juice. I even let her know her own mom helped me save the planet.
“Yo shawty, I garuntee ya dude cant beat it up like me. You evr been with a stud? Aint no cock but Ill leave you walkin funny fa realz. Fuck ya man, all you need is me shawty. Holla at me.”
I didn’t reply to this one either, because I’ve seen “Locked Up” and know how these gangster stud women turn out girls like myself. Not that I plan on robbing a bank one day or anything, but just in case I do end up locked up, I don’t want to run into this girl. Seriously, you can never be too careful. What if like I were to walk out of Wal-Mart and my receipt didn’t match the items in my bag? The cops would come and take me to the slammer. “10 4 Roger Roger, we have a brown woman here stealing things from Wal-Mart. Roger 10 4, 25 to life and toss the key.” Next thing I know I am getting a full body cavity search and having a broom stick shoved up my vagina. No, thank you!
Sweetie, maybe you and your husband should go find a prostitute. I’m not trying to be rude, but no real woman would want to stick their mouth on your filthy brown slit. I’m just going to give you this advice, you take it how you want. Make up your mind. Either you want women or you want cock. Stop being a greedy little bitch and pick your preference. Ugh. Also, good luck finding your whore, because only nasty bitches play with couples.
“Thank you for your helpful advice. I do not take anything you’ve said to me as rude at all. Let’s just cut to the chase, how much would you charge to fuck a fairly attractive couple?” Although I felt this was a friendly response, I can only assume that she was totally upset at me in her response to my reply (which seemed more like a terrorist threat) because I wrongly assumed she was a hooker. I think if I show up to the next local gay parade, I may not make it home that night. Seriously. I’m not making any local friends at all.
To explain some of the messages, I am in the United States, specifically the South. Also, I am Asian. Unfortunately, as behind as this seems, there aren’t a lot of brown girls here. At least where I am from, you are either black or white. It seems that a lot of ignorant folks called my vagina disgusting simply because it was brown. Ha! Sorry, I seriously laughed when I typed that. It also seems being bisexual in general just pisses off some people. There isn’t much I can do about other people’s perspectives. I just need to be careful.
If you think the Lesbian or Studs e-mails are bad, wait until you see a few of these men’s emails.