I’ve never orgasmed with a partner or by myself and I feel like I should kind of give up ever achieving on, my partner feels pretty lacking since he can’t make me orgasm. I will note that it could be because of lack of experience on my part and I’ve only had three different partners. I do own a vibrator and I’m confused about something that happened. I was using it and I’m not sure if I was going too hard or fast? But fluid kind of just leaked/poured out of me. I know it wasn’t urine because it didn’t smell like it and the coloring didn’t resemble urine at all. Wasn’t sure I was squirting because everything I’ve looked up said it usually (if it happens at all) is when women orgasm and so I doubt it’s that since I’ve never actually had an orgasm before. Maybe I didn’t look for answers hard enough?? So I’m really confused and I don’t feel comfortable actually talking to a doctor about what happened.
Venice’s response:
I used to not be orgasmic through sex, but like you I was also young. However, I have always been able to achieve an orgasm through masturbation, even as a young girl just laying in bed circling my clit with my fingers until I felt what I now know as a clitoris orgasm. This was basically how I had orgasms my entire life until I hit my mid 30s. If I had and orgasm during sex (or before), I needed clitoral stimulation. Whether it be with a tongue, fingers, or a toy. Although I have never had issues with having orgasms with the proper stimulation. And, although not hands free, I could always have orgasms during sex if I could get room to play with myself, or have him play with me while his penis penetrated. I believe these clitoral orgasms are similar to a man’s release. The orgasms that make your neck red, your nipples swell, your body get goosebumps, and an explosion. However, for me I never squirted.
Once I hit my mid 30s, I started having mini plateaus (orgasms) inside my vagina. Although not as powerful as the orgasms I was used to, these orgasms definitely produced fluids and at times I would wet the bed. My cervix also tenses and twitches on the inside, but I do not have the huge explosion that comes with clitoral orgasms. These orgasms only happen during sex, especially when I am deeply penetrated.
Although I have squirted (spurts) multiple times, I’ve only had one instance where a very large amount of fluid pour out of me once. Again, this was not a clitoral orgasm, but my body did drain a large amount of fluids. This was recorded on video. The fluid looked almost whitish, definitely not urine, and literally poured out of my body like a faucet (I couldn’t urinate like this even if I wanted to). This one time was when used the “forklift” method of two fingers in my vagina as he lifts it up to put pressure on my gspot. It felt amazing and at some point, my body sprung a leak. Not squirting, not a spurt of fluid that stops, but literally he pulled out his fingers and I drained fluid all over the towel that was underneath me. Now, again, I did not have an orgasm as if I was playing with my clit, but my inner body still went through all the physical motions (twitching, spasms).
I consider all of these orgasms different types of orgasms. Truthfully, I believe a lot of women may be orgasmic through sex but because sex is rough, friction, or they are not really in tune with the not-so powerful orgasms, they don’t notice, or they wait to feel the huge orgasm they get through clitoral stimulation.
With all that being said, I do not think you have anything to worry about! Congratulations on your first plateau orgasm! It only gets better now!