Are Filipinas / Filipinos submissive women?

Why Do I Enjoy Being Submissive to My Husband?

I’ve dealt with a lot of criticism in our social circle because I call my husband “Daddy.” Interestingly enough, when he calls me little girl, or other cute variations, it’s not seen as strange or even warranted as an attention-grabbing habit. For me, calling him Daddy is what I prefer. I have called him Daddy in public and feel no real shame or embarrassment. It has nothing to do with a desire to have a father / daughter relationship, but more of feeling like I have finally found a man who treats me the way my inner little girl has always wanted to be treated. I didn’t grow up knowing what a real father / daughter relationship was, as my dad was abusive and cold. I also have never called my actual father, Daddy. I didn’t grow up thinking my father was great, nor did I grow up thinking I would be married, have children, or love some guy so much he would be my everything. If anything, my father made me hate men.  So calling my husband “Daddy” has absolutely nothing to do with my actual experience with how a daughter is treated by her father. Quite the opposite.

So why am I so happy now being totally submissive to my husband?  Why do I love calling him Daddy and laying in his arms at night, snuggled against him and talking like a little girl?  20 years into our marriage and it seems my role as his little girl is consuming us – iIn a good way.

In searching around the web looking for explanations to what our relationship has evolved into, I found a great article about Filipino women being submissive wives.  Although the article could be about women from any culture, I still found it interesting because it really matches how I feel.

Why are some filipinas submissive women?

For girls in the Philippines, being a submissive women is a part of filipino culture.  We are taught at a young age to have good manners, respect, understanding so that we can become good mothers and submissive wives when we are ready to get married.  I cannot speak for all filipinas, but I would say most.

We are taught that the role of a wife is to be “ilaw ng tahanan” that is Tagalog for the “light of the house”.  It is the wife’s duty to make the house a Home. A wife must be there always to support her man’s decisions, give advice but without disagreement.  A wife must do everything at home,  from taking care of the kids, to teaching the kids to household chores.  She helps the kids with their school assignments and projects.  She participates in school meetings and the kids activities. Most importantly, keeping the house a “Happy home’’ that includes doing her best to serve her husband in and out of bed without complaints.

As a submissive wife, I think its not about being enslaved by my husband because when you love your man you always do your best to keep him happy and satisfied.  Although it makes me feel bad sometimes, but I know I have to give way and not be selfish.  No relationship is perfect but it doesn’t mean you won’t find happiness in that imperfect love.

Being submissive means becoming a great wife and avoiding most arguments that can sometimes end marriages. Submitting and agreeing to your man makes everything more peaceful.  Its much better than nagging. There will be times when the husband is wrong and if you feel that there are better idea or solution to a problem, communicating calmly works than starting a heated conversation.

Achieving this submissiveness requires training and lots of patience because you mostly set yourself aside.  It is very hard to change and to make adjustment but when you’re doing it to keep your husband, it gets easier because there is a purpose of why you must do it. It takes swallowing your pride and putting your husband first on top of everything to keep the marriage happy. That can mean losing a career and a dream. Although if your husband is supportive you can still aim for success but there are lots of things you have to consider for your family.  

A woman cannot submit to every man.  Every man is not worthy of such selflessness.  I would say only a selfless man should have a selfless submissive woman.

Although I am Filipino, I am first generation, raised in America.  I am also a military vet and want to make this as a breaking point to the article above.  I read the article above as it pertained to Filipina women in the Philippine islands, being submissive, raised in Filipino culture. Although both of my parents are from the Philippines, I was raised in California. With that being said, I still believe the above article describes me almost exactly.  However, some of my submissiveness feels like natural instincts. I do not think I was taught to enjoy feeling a man restrain me and hold me down during sex. I do not think I was taught to orgasm and be turned on more if a man gets deeper, or hurts my insides during sex and pushes himself inside me harder. Physically, I am just as submissive as I am personality wise. It almost feels primitive. I am a delicate girl, with less muscle, and just enjoy feeling my man’s strength.