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June 9, 2014

Random Moments With Us – July 4th

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July 4th(June 9, 2014) Ryan: Can you please see if you can get off on Friday?

(June 9, 2014) Venice: Why?

(June 9, 2014) Ryan: Because I am off and I want to hang out with you.

(June 9, 2014) Venice: I’m already taking a day off soon.

(June 9, 2014) Ryan: Yea, but that’s in a month, try to get this Friday off.

(June 9, 2014) Venice: When is July 4th?

(June 9, 2014): Ryan: …

(June 9, 2014) Venice: …

(June 9, 2014) Ryan: I’m blogging that.

(June 9, 2014) Venice: Wait, no, I meant…

(June 9, 2014) Ryan: (interrupting her) No… don’t explain shit.  Don’t ruin that moment with an explanation.

(June 9, 2014) Venice: No but I meant…

(June 9, 2014) Ryan: (interrupting her again) I’m blogging.  Take it like a man.

March 31, 2014

Threesome Memoirs – I Fucked A Girl With A Strap On

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strap on sexI’ve always wondered what it would be like to have sex with a woman.  And by sex, I don’t mean eating her out as I finger her. I mean putting on a strap on and full out fucking her.

Yesterday, I got to do just that

Ever since our last lunch date (The Naughty Lunch Break),  she and I have been texting each other trying to coordinate dates and times for another get together.  It’s tough because there are three of us have that have to get our schedules straight, not just two.  I told her about my fantasy of using a strap-on on her and she happily replied, “I want you to do that to me.”  Immediately my mind began to race thinking about doing this to her.

Throughout that morning, we had our own version of “porn tag,” sending pictures to each other of women with strap-ons.  I wasn’t for certain if she was ready for us to do this, but when she sent me a few live pictures of her own juices while she was at work, I knew.

It seemed as if we both were very anxious about our date because we arrived at our house much sooner than the agreed-upon time.  As we walked in the door I squeezed her butt cheek.  She looked back at me with a sneaky smile.  We didn’t speak more than a few words because we were eager and hungry to rip each others clothes off.  Ryan hopped in the shower to freshen up.  I immediately began kissing her and stripping off her blouse.  I unbuttoned her slacks and let them fall to the ground.  I grabbed both of her butt cheeks and felt how full my hands were.  For a slim woman, her ass is disproportionately bigger than the rest of her body and I couldn’t resist holding and squeezing. She kissed on my neck as I slid her red thongs down her thighs.

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February 14, 2014

Happy Valentine’s Day

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HeartHappy Valentine’s Day to all the couples or singles that frequent our website.  Today, Venice and I are not going to have hot and heavy Valentine’s sex.  We are not going to meet up with a hot local girl and throw her onto our bed for a Valentine’s threesome.  And we are not doing a steamy Valentine’s photoshoot that ends with me holding a Teddy Bear over Venice’s head while I cum inside her ass moving my hips in a heart shape.  Instead, we are having a no sex day.  What does that mean exactly?  It means we will lay in bed and slowly strip each other nude as we kiss and rub each others bodies.  I will rub my fingers inside and over her pussy and measure how turned on she gets by how wet my fingers feel.  We will kiss each others bodies from head to toe and possibly stop in certain areas if the moans get louder.  There isn’t an area I am not going to lick, as I will pay attention to every detail and crevice her body has to offer.  She will do the same, as we take turns appreciating and turning each other on.  What we won’t do is have sex, orgasm, or turn our night into a physical climax.  We do that every day already, as live our love life like it’s February 14, 364 days a year.    So this year we’ll spend Valentine’s Day going back to our experience the first time we saw each other nude and made out.  No, neither of us orgasmed then either.  Much like tonight, there was petting, touching, exploring, passionate kissing, and a lot of intense moments where we both want to cross that sexual line but stay focused on every reason why we love being close, that doesn’t have to do with sex.  

Sound dumb?   Tell us your plans in the comments below! 

January 31, 2014

Freaky Friday Search Terms – small dicks don’t feel good because they poke the rectal walls

Freaky Search Terms 1 Comment

freakyfridayOn various Fridays we will post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms.   Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.

10. underage penis
Venice: Flagged!
Ryan: Expect a knock on your door at anytime.  Good work Agent V.

9. cumming at wrong time
Ryan: Not possible…
Venice: Possible.
Ryan: At church?
Venice: At your child’s parent-teacher conference.
Ryan: Depends on the teacher, in my opinion.
Venice: …
Ryan: At Disney World on the Haunted Mansion ride?
Venice: No, you’re timing was great then.
Ryan: At work?
Venice: If so, you’ve failed many times. 
Ryan: Well, that is after work, big difference.  Technically the office becomes a bedroom when your co-workers leave. 
Venice:  Then explain the midday ‘sneak to the back’ copy room thing with all your co-workers definitely there…
Ryan: Was that a wrong time?
Venice: Not really. 
Ryan: So what are you saying then?
Venice: I guess there really isn’t a wrong time.   Well, except church.
Ryan: Well, technically we are married so it’s not like…
Venice: Stop.

8. xairu vagina foto
Ryan: hairy vagina photo!
Venice: Tell him what he won Chuck!
Ryan: Finally my hidden skill of deciphering one handed typing has paid off!

7. figure 8 deepthroat
Ryan: Yes please?
Venice: You’ve had it.
Ryan: Part of your blow job techniques article?
Venice: Uh huh…
Ryan: It’s my ballzheimers again.  Maybe you should help me remember?
Venice: Like, what, are you going to type your next comment as if its a narrator describing the scene or something?
[I slowly unzip my pants and pull my cock out]
Ryan: No, I am not corny like that.
[Venice gets down on her knees and begins to deepthroat me.  I grow in her mouth and wait to see if she can really figure 8 her throat as she deepthroats.  She can.]
Venice: Happy?
[I am]
Ryan: I am.

6. pictures of pussy before it grows hair
Venice: Flagged!
Ryan: da FBI willy youzes da googlez?
Venice: Yes they do Mr. Pussy before it grows hair guy!

 5. tweety bird cum
Ryan: Wtf?
Venice: Flagged?
Ryan: I don’t know about that one.  Maybe the FBI will let this one slide.
Venice: PETA won’t.  Flagged.
 Ryan: Hahaha.

4. shaving vagina before interrogation
Venice: That’s what I always do…
Ryan: Yea, I’ve heard about how detectives will immediately check a woman’s vagina for hair to figure out if they committed a crime or have any information.
Venice: I want to let them know I have nothing to hide.
Ryan: So, in other words, you don’t want your pubic hairs to testify against you?
Venice: Yes, no telling when those curly bastards will say something incriminating.  Off with their heads!

3. my wafe laik big cock fuken
Ryan: my wife likes to fuck big cocks!
Venice: Seriously, that’s amazing.
Ryan: Thank you, I have been working on this hidden talent for years.
Venice: I bet. 

2. my dad swallowed my cum
Venice: Flagged!
Ryan: Relax Barney Fife. 
Venice: Flagged!
Ryan: Oh god, I have to get you a whistle or something to blow on.
Venice: …
Ryan:  Too easy?
Venice: Way too easy.

1. small dicks don’t feel good because they poke the rectal walls
Venice: Sounds fairly accurate in my opinion.
Ryan: Well, I bet her rectal walls don’t feel good either then!
Venice: Oh Ryan, are you white horsing for the small penises of the world again?
Ryan: I’d say I was white minature ponying for them, yes…
Venice: Captian SaveASmallDick
Ryan: Whatever.  I bet her rectal walls feel like shit anyway.
Venice: I see what you did there.

January 20, 2014

Threesome Memoirs – Double Penetration

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double penetrationWith a blog titled Double Penetration I am scared I may have to block our emails from the surge of men ready to fill out a DP Job Application to join us in our bedroom.   Don’t worry, you didn’t miss the sign up sheet, that is never going to happen.

Saturday night, I was taking shots of Patron and preparing the camera for a second night of photoshoots with Venice and her friend.  This is the same friend who the weekend before we hooked up with and had more of an oral only threesome.  She and I ate out Venice, Venice and her sucked my dick and balls, etc.  We already know where we stand with her, so the night usually ends with some sort of play.  I wasn’t in the greatest mood but hopefully as the clothing came off and my lenses heated up, I would feel a little better.

The first shot was of an Asian massage, so both ladies stripped and Venice grabbed the Grape Seed Oil.  Venice made sure she let her friend know that Grape Seed Oil can be used on the inside or outside of her body.  That made both girls giggle.  Venice had never really given an Asian massage, so they both discussed the positioning or what exactly should be shown on camera.  I sat back with the camera in hand and waited for them to figure out exactly what they wanted.  To be a photographer isn’t hard, but to be a photographer that has to continuously come up with sexy ideas is absolutely hard.  Therefore, tonight I wanted to drink and just make sure they were focused.  My goal was to stay stress free and click the button.

As the shoot went on, the girls got more into each other and less into the idea of there being a camera in the room.  I had a hard time even doing my only job correct, keeping them in focus, because honestly I didn’t want to see what was going on behind a camera lens.  At times I would quit clicking and just watch the action.

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