“Here I Go Again” – How Whitesnake Made Me Question My Sexuality

*Young Venice is italicized. 

whitesnakeI listen to Pandora at work. A lot. It helps me get through the day not to mention keeping me awake. I recently added an 80s hits station because sometimes I need to do the Carlton in my office to an era-specific type of music. Today, I heard the distinct synthpop intro of Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” trickle through tiny mesh metal speakers on my standalone work PC. I quickly hit the thumbs up icon on the track. I love this song.

Being a sweet, awkward child in the 80s was a confusing time for me. I was pummeled with images of Boy George and Human League with their androgenous faces and creamy voices, not knowing if they were deep voiced women or just men who had long hair and lipstick. Do they want to be girls? Pat Benatar and Belinda Carlisle with their boycuts.   Do they want to be boys?  And it really hit home when I saw my carpool lady’s husband with a pierced ear. A pierced ear! My little brain couldn’t take it anymore.

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Womanhood, Kids, and Angelina Jolie – What Makes a Woman

Mother JolieToday Angelina Jolie discussed the removal of her ovaries and fallopian tubes in an op-ed article in the New York Times. I never liked Angelina Jolie as an actress, but I never disliked her. I never followed her in the news, I never went out of my way to watch one of her movies, and I didn’t have the need to know much about her. I knew a few things about her, like she was Jon Voight’s daughter and Billy Bob Thornton was cheating on his fiancee (who supposedly didn’t find out until Billy Bob and Angelina were married) with her. She was just kind of…there. Eventually I saw more of her in the media not because of her movies, but because of her humanitarian efforts, her growing family, and health issues.

But it was because of these things that I started to feel like she wasn’t just basking in her celebritydom; I realized that she was very human, very big-hearted. Even during her failing marriage to Billy Bob she proceeded to adopt her first child at the age of 26. I can’t imagine celebrities at that age (Daniel Radcliffe or Taylor Swift) caring for a baby. Clearly she had other priorities in life.

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Tattooed Women: The Real and The Fake

tattooed womenMy excitement had been building exponentially as I planned to get a tattoo. Not a cute little heart on my wrist or a narwhal on my ass cheek. But something big, loud, and in-your-face. Ryan has told me many times that tattoos on a woman are hot, especially sleeves or legs. I had a tattoo before I met Ryan, but not in either of those places. So to hear him say that makes me say, “I love tattoos, and I want another one, so why not get it where my man wants it?”

However, Ryan is afraid of one thing: the stigma a tattoo of that size and location would bring upon me. I’m sure this thought has been on everyone’s mind who has ever had their bodies inked. Some things may even come to mind: trashy, dirty, uneducated bimbos. These thoughts have definitely crossed my mind at some point, even more so : I’m a college graduate, I served as a military officer and fought for my country, I kick ass at being the M in MILF, I make homemade meals at least three times a week (what? sometimes we have leftovers or Domino’s) and take care of my husband in every..single..way. It’s far too late to be ashamed of me. And if people choose to judge this book by her cover, then they are missing out on a caring, loyal, and selfless person.

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Jealousy in Threesomes

jealousy-open-relationshipI’ve mentioned before that I once read a sex blogger suggest that a way for a couple to spice up their sex life is to have a threesome. I cannot emphasize enough how detrimental that is. A threesome for a 20-something couple who’ve been dating for six months and still text in emojis is not the same as a threesome for a married couple who’ve been married 15+ years and have talked extensively about the logistics and repercussions. I’m not saying that every couple reacts a certain way to threesomes; it depends on the length of time together, their experience, their history, their levels of maturity, etc. What I am saying is that couples in healthy relationships are less susceptible to the fallout of a life-changing decision such as a threesome. I refused to stay in the mindset of a little girl when my relationship with and marriage to my husband. So I write this blog in an effort to offer some insight to other women (and men) who’ve given any thought to allowing others into their bed.

To begin, it is my humble opinion, and from personal experience, that the reason why threesomes don’t work in relationships may be because of jealousy.

  • Jealousy that the other woman will suck your man’s dick better
  • Jealousy that he will get hard for her and not for you
  • Jealousy that he will think she is sexier than you
  • Jealousy that she will try to take over in bed and make you feel inferior
  • Jealousy that he will give her too much attention or ignore you altogether
  • Jealousy that either one of them will break the pre-discussed boundaries in the heat of the moment
  • Jealousy that, after she leaves, he will ask you to do “that thing that she did to him”
  • Jealousy that he won’t stop fantasizing about her
  • Jealousy that he will call her behind your back for a private fuck session

These are all thoughts that went through my mind at least once, and which I’m sure that have gone through many women’s (and maybe even men’s) minds. Is it natural to have these thoughts? Hell yes! If I didn’t, then I didn’t feel loved and cared about. My whole marriage I was used to having the man who I dedicated my life to to belong only to me. I was never asked if he could be shared. I was never asked to explore outside or away from each other, separately. They never crossed our minds. Even when these thoughts of jealousy plagued my mind, I had to remember that the important thing was maintaining a strong line of communication between me and Ryan, one that we’d been working on keeping open and honest. I’d always been very quiet and refused to let him know what’s on my mind. I blame it on my Asian upbringing and being forced to never talk back. But that’s neither here nor there.

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10 Things A Man Should Not Say To Woman On A First Date

FearPublicSpeakingFor fun, Venice and I have created a list of 10 things a man should not say on her first date. If you have not already seen our previous blog, 10 Things You Should Not Say To A Man On A First Date, check it out now.  If you have some things you think a woman shouldn’t say on her first date, please add them to the comment box below.

10.  So I’ve been looking in your window for a few years now, it’s  good to finally see what you look like when you are not sleeping.

9. Do you think I should buy the pregnancy test now or in a few weeks?

8. I’m on a super win streak lately.  I was 50% on my first 4 STD clinic visits, but since then, I have been at least 20 more times and haven’t had an STD yet.  BOO-YA!

7. Hey, thanks for picking me up.  Is there anyway we can just download a bootleg of the new movie and stay at my house for the night?  I’m on house arrest and I’m trying to get my life right.  Be the angel that saves me.

6. Oh god, your heels and outfit look amazing.  Maybe later tonight I can try them on myself?

5. Well, first, I’d like to openly admit that I think edible condoms are absolutely delicious…especially if they’ve already been used.

4.  Sorry I’m late, I had to make a quick stop at Home Depot to buy some duct tape, rope, and a saw.  Home improvement stuff.

3.  Don’t look now, but that is my ex boyfriend sitting over there.   In about 10 seconds, can you naturally look over and tell me if he is watching me?

2.  Reach out and hold her hand with a smile.  “I just masturbated a few minutes before I picked you up so later if you want to cuddle, don’t worry, I won’t try to get fresh with you.”

1.  Listen, you pay for this meal and I will earn it back later at your place.  Deal?

Bonus:

I am all for gay marriage, but my last husband couldn’t handle it.

Want to snort lines off my dick with me?

I hope you aren’t the type of woman that is insecure about the fact that I can probably suck dick better than you.  I’ve been called a natural.

I don’t think R. Kelly peeing on girls is really all that bad.

I have first hand…and mouth knowledge that at least 2 of the New Kids on the Block members were gay.   Or at least that night they were.

Have you ever been air tight back stage at a rock concert?  I have.