May 11, 2015

Sexy Snapshot – The Calm After The Storm

Galleries 2 Comments

sexy snapshot 1We have decided to add erotic photography of us to our blog, formally known as Snapshot Wednesdays, now known as Sexy Snapshot.  These won’t be low quality candids or shots taken from our cell phones, these will be photographs we love from our own little photo shoots.  Hopefully these pictures will come out more like tasteful erotic art rather than amateur pornography.  We will update the gallery each week with a new photo to share with our blog followers.

This week we have named our photo “The Calm After The Storm.”   This photo was taken last night selfie style with a Nikon D5200.  The angle was hard, my body was exhausted, the cum was dripping out of the picture, and it was tough to get us both in the shot.  However, we managed.   After this picture was taken, I used my dick and fingers to scoop up all the cum and feed it to Venice.  I asked her how it tasted and she replied, “It’s okay, I like it better warm.”

The majority of photo shoot itself consisted of using a remote while Venice sucked on my dick and deepthroated me from various angles.  We may add more from this photo shoot in the future.

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May 7, 2015

Top 10 Movies So Bad, They’re Good

Blog 5 Comments

bad moviesThis is a list of my movies that are so bad they’re good. They’re my guilty pleasures, but I also

10. Fred: The Movie – The first time I watched this movie, I didn’t even think there was a story line. I was too busy wondering how they got his voice perfectly synchronized with his mouth. Best scene: Fred lipsynching to “Solid as a Rock.”

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9. Waterworld – I don’t think the world takes Kevin Costner seriously. Maybe because his acting is splotchy, unconvincing, and at times, downright shitty. I don’t recall him doing a movie where he’s had to raise his voice, cry, or do an accent. I bet you’re thinking of one now, aren’t you?

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8. The Postman – You really shouldn’t be surprised to see two Kevin Costner movies on this list. Actually, you should expect a third, but I don’t think I have room for “The Bodyguard.” There I said it.

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7. The Jerk – Watching this movie as a kid, I totally loved it. I couldn’t figure out why anyone would call the poor white kid adopted by a black family a jerk. Again, probably best to watch this movie drunk. At least twice.

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6. I Don’t Buy Kisses Anymore – This movie starred “Seinfeld” star Jason Alexander and one-hit wonder sensation Nia Peeples. This is like “Beauty and the Beast” if it were a LIfetime movie original re-make. And probably best to watch only once. And drunk.

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5. High School Musical – I actually liked this movie at first and even played the soundtrack in my car. How could anyone not love Zac Efron…he just wants to siiiiiiiiiing. I read an article where Zac Efron’s grandfather made the comment that he always knew Zac could (something along those lines). Then I found out that Zac Efron didn’t do any of the singing in HSM, but rather it was a singer/songwriter by the name of Drew Seely. What in holy crap. The movie was called “High School Musical”…and he didn’t even sing? What’s next – you gonna tell me Tom Cruise isn’t really a pilot and that the Dangerzone isn’t even real?

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4. Lost and Found – Remember that hot lady from Braveheart who got pregnant with Mel Gibson’s love child? She’s in this movie. And she falls for David Spade. You heard right – David Spade. Talk about falling off the wagon. Funny scene: Artie Lange (Wally) and David Spade are snuggling in bed in boxers. David Spade jumps up and looks at the matching boxers Wally is wearing. “Where did you get those?” he says and points at the stretched garter around his friend’s waist. “In the hamper. (smiley face) I had to dig a little.”

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3. Freaks – In its day, this was probably the only way people could see “freaks.” My favorite line: “I am a man! She loves me…for me!”

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2. The Human Centipede – If you were fortunate enough to watch this movie when it was on Netflix, you’re one of the lucky ones. This was the first of its kind that I’ve seen. The whole time I kept thinking, “Oh damn…this is NOT going to turn out good.”

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1. The Room – The dialogue here is probably the worse-written of all the movies I’ve ever seen…and I’ve seen a lot of movies. It’s as if the script had been written by an eight-year-old German boy, translated in Korean, then in Chinese, before finally being translated into English. Then imagine the eight-year-old boy’s story about his girlfriend cheating on him with his best friend is performed by his classmates. Ryan and I heard about this movie through forums and decided to buy it because we knew it would become an instant classic. To this day, my kid is compelled to show “The Room” to all her friends who spend the night at our house. And we let her…because it’s THAT BAD. worst movies ever

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May 4, 2015

Q&A: My Husband Will Not Quit Touching Himself

Question & Answer 6 Comments

touching himselfMy husband often wears only boxers when he’s at home and he has this habit of constantly touching himself.  Some of the time when I look at him, his penis is actually erect or semi erect.  I am unsure if he is masturbating, turning himself on, or just constantly itching his penis.  It seems like he is always scratching, fondling, or rubbing his own testicles.  Even when we are snuggling in bed and I’m laying against him, I can feel him touching himself.  It didn’t use to bother me but over time it is really becoming a problem.  I do not want to see my husband as some guy that sits around the house touching his penis all day.   

Is it always sexual? Or do some guys just like to play with their stuff?   I don’t know whether to be jealous, turned off, or just ignore it.

Venice’s response:
Seems like this is something that a lot of guys do. I remember seeing Al Bundy put his hand in his pant waist when I was a kid in every episode of “Married…with Children.”  It was weird to me and I always thought, “Why is he touching his penis?” Looking back at it now, he was not touching his penis. But I was a kid and it was soft core porn-ish to me.  But let’s think about it: middle-aged man who had a crummy job, sassy kids, and a wife who nagged him. All these things could be stressors in his life. And although he’s not physically touching his dick, I really believe it’s a symbolic gesture of what your husband does at home: constant touching of his penis.

And guess what: I do it, too. Sometimes my hand will wander until they get beneath my panties and before I know it, I’m feeling myself up. I’ll lay in bed and touch my lips. I feel my skin. I’ll squeeze my lips between my fingers up and down. I’ll tickle the crease of my thigh. I’ll rub my pussy hole without sticking my fingers. And I rub my clit.  I’m not doing it to orgasm at all. I may not even get to the point where I am so turned on that I WANT to cum. I do it simply to relax, and it just feels so damn good.

Do I think what your husband does is to be perverted? No. He’s not doing it in front of open window or in front of your friends.  Is he doing it to ejaculate?  It certainly doesn’t sound like it. Does he think what he does is wrong? I don’t think so; he’s obviously not trying to hide it from you.  He’s in his own home.  Frankly, I consider it very normal.  I see it as a positive thing if your husband is comfortable enough around you to not be judged for something that others could see as perverted or weird. We all have strange habits and the one person who should embrace them is your spouse.

But how is it a problem to you? As long as he doesn’t do it in public, it should not be a problem. And don’t ignore it because he’ll never stop. It’s pointless to ask him to. He’ll resent you and will eventually do it behind your back.  You definitely do not want that. My solution: do it for him! The next time you’re in bed together and you see his hand down his boxers, put your hand down there with his. Feel what he does, learn what he does to himself, be a part of his semi-sexual routine. I promise you, he won’t turn you down.

Ryan’s response:
Some guys definitely like to play with their stuff.  Everyone is different though.  If a man lives his life trying to be absolutely perfect to his spouse, hoping she never sees any of his bad habits, he may run to the bathroom to pick his nose or go into a closet to privately adjust his junk.  I used to be that way about everything until I met Venice.  I think it’s a comfort thing.  If you find someone you really love, you end up totally being yourself around them.  Unfortunately this means the person you love ends up being annoyed by your habits.   There is such a thing as too comfortable.

It’s hard work living together everyday and still staying totally in love.    How does one pick his nose, fart, burp, use the bathroom, have bad morning breath, rub his testicles, and accidently have long nose or ear hairs and still keep a woman attracted to him?  It’s tough.  As much as I’ve tried throughout the years, I am still human.  As we get more comfortable and our spouse becomes an extension of us, it’s hard to keep anything from them… including the bad.  This is why communication is so important.  I literally have conversations with Venice where I explain that I have to embrace some of her flaws, the same way a guy who is scared to step on cracks in the sidewalk needs to FORCE himself to step on those cracks to embrace his fears, so I don’t start getting turned off.   I tell her this hoping she does the same for me.  If you focus on the bad, it snowballs into horrible.  If you focus on the good, it snowballs into a great relationship.  For instance, if we both focus on our bad morning breath, eventually we’d never want to kiss.  Whether we clean our teeth or not, eventually the bad morning breath snowballs into disgusting mouths, which then snowballs into no kissing, which then snowballs into less intimacy, which then snowballs into not kissing your spouse in years.  This HAPPENS.  So instead, we will brush and kiss each morning and after we spend lunch together.  Please see the 5 second kiss rule.

Now, I said all that, just to say this.  I do actually catch myself touching myself.  I think it may be a comfort thing.  Like, the whole world sees me as this person that wakes up, showers, gets dressed, and goes to work.   But, at home, I am so comfortable with my wife that sometimes I will lay in bed and talk to her as I touch myself.  Not in a sexual way, not in an erection way, but more of a squeeze the head of my penis and get this relaxing chemical release.  There is absolutely no sexual arousal at all.  It relaxes me.  Why?  I have no idea.

If your husband is getting an erection, I am unsure exactly what he is feeling.  It seems like it may be partially sexual.  Talk with him about that.

I do think rubbing his balls would annoy most people.  It’s not like a man’s testicles are the cleanest part of our bodies, and if he is just rubbing them all night and touching the light switch, computer keyboard, or remote control, I would be annoyed as hell.  Or just grosssed out.  Talk to him about it and let him know he may be comfortable doing it in front of you, but you are not comfortable with seeing it.

Ignore it or annoyed, you feel what you feel.  However, I really don’t see a reason to be jealous.   Are you afraid he may leave you for his hand?   Talk to him.

April 30, 2015

His Mistress, Aka His Job

All Sex Talk No Comments

busy workingRyan and I talked recently about a shift in job responsibilities in his office. He told me that he would be taking on more of these responsibilities and because of that his pay would increase, as expected. After the first day I could sense that the adjustment was intense. He was tired, weary. He’d spent the regular 9 hours at work, but the hours in his day were more…full, like his day was a glass of ice and the additional work was getting slowly poured in like a pitcher of warm water. Eventually his day would be pure work, no time to message me throughout the day, to look at pictures I send him, or to jot down blog ideas.

I thought about the old me, the one who was constantly needy, the one who made a pouty face when she didn’t get her way, the one who always wanted to be around her man. Some of that hasn’t changed. I am very needy. In fact, I watch movies now and see couples who seem too trusting. I get upset at the woman and start screaming obscenities at her. “Why the FUCK would you let him go shopping with his ex-girlfriend?! Bitch, grow a pair and put your foot down.” My pouty face? I choose to avoid creating wrinkles on my smooth, supple skin, so I don’t pout anymore. Instead, I reason with Ryan, telling him to bond with his friends, build camaraderie, and get some cardio in, and in exchange, this upcoming weekend he’s helping me clean out my closet and playing video games with me. An even trade, in my opinion. As far as always wanting to be around my man? Unfortunately, this hasn’t changed. In fact, I have a confession to make. A few weeks, Ryan went to the gym and was gone for about four hours. It was mid-morning, he wasn’t clubbing, he wasn’t drinking, he wasn’t out having a good time without me, he didn’t have a delicious meal while I sucked on a packet of Splenda alone. When he came home, I felt relieved that he was with me again, as I always do. I don’t question him about what happened. I know what happened. He has earned his trust  with me and I know he’d love to blend his hobbies and his time with me into one big super mega funfest. That’s not always going to happen. But when he came home I was kind of blah-feeling, like something was missing. He was in a great mood, so it’s not like he plopped down and went to bed and asked me to wake him up when it was time for dinner. I soon realized that I feel this way because I feel like I’ve lost time with him, time I won’t get back. I feel a slight depression, and that depression quickly turns to anger. I get frustrated because I feel like that is my time, and only I have a right to it. In many ways, the old me still creeps in the shadows and pokes her ugly head out.

Continue Reading His Mistress, Aka His Job

April 27, 2015

Q&A: I Quit Shaving My Face Until My Wife Shaves

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ladywithbeardShe is really upset and hates my new beard.  She has said something to me a number of times about wanting me to shave. So I asked her are you going to shave for me? Of course, she says no. I don’t know if I’m to shave soon or decide to fuck it and see if I can get her to see my side on this. She says it hurts when she shaves when it grows back in. Well, my face doesn’t exactly feel awesome when I have to shave daily or close to daily either.

What do you guys think?

Venice’s response:
Shaving for the first time will cause a lot of irritation. That’s a fact. Whether you’re 18-years-old and shaving for the first time because all the girls in your sorority are doing it or you’re a regular shaver and you’re shaving for the firs time in weeks. It will itch like crazy, your skin will be irritated, and it may even get raw from the excessive scratching you may do in the ensuing days. But I do feel that once she does shave a few times, she will get used to it. And if she shaves at least twice a week to maintain its baldness, her skin will get more “calloused” and will grow accustomed to the shaving. It will stop itching, and unless she cuts herself, the stinging sensation is only temporary, just like a man who shaves his face.

In my opinion, I believe men and women should at least make an attempt to do what his/her partner asks of them. Why be so close minded? How does that positively affect the relationship by saying no? It shows you’re stubborn, it shows you’re selfish, and most of all, it shows you’re not willing to make the other person happy. The first time Ryan asked to ejaculate on my face, I was pretty scared. Why? Because some had gotten in my eye and it was just a bad experience for me. But after I got over it, and rather than thinking of the negative aspects, I thought about how I’d be pleasing him, how it would turn him on, how it would make him love me just a little more (yes, it’s possible even if he says “I love you with all my heart”), and how I’d be fulfilling a fantasy of his. Me. He could see other chicks do it and say, “Just like how my woman does it, but it’s better because it’s her.” How can I ever tell him no to anything when I’m the one he wants to do these things to?

In your case, it seems like you want to turn this into a tug-of-war by saying “My face doesn’t exactly feel awesome when I have to shave daily.” Pretty juvenile. If neither of you will comply with the other’s wishes, then neither of you should complain.

Ryan’s response:
I imagine in a few months you will be looking like Forrest Gump when he was running the map.  And your wife’s vagina will also still be a glorious forest of love.

I think what you are doing is silly.  Communicate with your wife and let her know how important it is that she shaves.  If she has her reasons why she doesn’t want to shave, and they are sincere, then you will just have to accept those reasons and take into consideration the type of person you chose to spend the rest of your life with. What you are doing isn’t sincere, that’s the difference. You are not shaving because you want to teach her a lesson.  She is not shaving because it hurts and makes her feel uncomfortable.  Big difference. Your not shaving is out of spite, and in my opinion, a very immature way to get your point across.

I do tend to agree that your spouse should naturally do things that make you happy though.  For instance, waking up and fixing her hair may not be the funnest thing in the world to do.  In fact, I am sure everyone would like 5 more minutes of sleep.  Not to mention, I am sure her hair may snag and feel comfortable until she gets the kinks out, but she still does it.  She does this to make herself presentable and decent to the world.  Whether it be makeup, high heels, thongs, or anything women do that isn’t necessarily comfortable, just to make themselves look good and feel sexy.  Why wouldn’t she put up with a little discomfort if it makes you happy?

I find it lazy and selfish to ignore the small things you would appreciate her doing, but that still doesn’t change the fact that you not shaving out of spite isn’t the way to “teach her a lesson.”  She isn’t a dog or lab rat.  Your marriage shouldn’t resemble a psychology lesson. Communicate with her and let her know how important her shaving is for you.  If she decides she doesn’t care, then you know what type of person you are spending the rest of your life with.   Not that her jungle below is enough to file for divorce over, but the small red flags of selfish behavior definitely snowball into problems in the future.

Good luck.

TAGS: shaving your vagina