Q & A: I Am Jealous of My Wife’s Huge Dildo

Q & A: I Am Jealous of My Wife’s Huge Dildo

My wife and I have been married for about 10 years.  About 3 years ago we decided to spice things up in the bedroom and bit and went to an adult store together.  It was my idea but she seemed okay with it.   While we were there we bought a few videos, some handcuffs, and a small vibrator shaped like a penis.  This was the first time we had ever any toys or extras.  We both loved the experience and other than the vibrator, the other stuff pretty much only got used once.  A few months ago she told me she was shopping on eBay and ordered more things for us.  She let me know it was things for the bedroom and this really excited me.  A week later, a box came and inside of it was the largest penis I have ever seen in my life and a few candles.  I was okay with the candles but I was extremely uncomfortable with the huge dildo.  However, she was so excited I didn’t want to say anything.  That night we used hot candle wax, the handcuffs, and the huge dildo.  It was exciting in a weird way but I hoped a 1 time thing.  Unfortunately, my wife now uses the small vibrator and huge dildo together almost every other night and I am no longer okay with this.  If the dildo was smaller, it wouldn’t be so bad, but the size makes me feel extremely awkward.  Also, after she is through and we have intercourse, her hole doesn’t feel the same.  It’s extremely loose.  I am scared I will hurt her feelings, especially since I originally suggested the toy thing to begin with.  I think she thinks the toys turn me on, but truthfully it does the opposite.  It’s not the toys though, it’s the size of the toy and how much she seems to enjoy it.  I honestly do not think she is pleased by my size anymore at all.  Any suggestions?

Venice:  It surprises me how many times this question comes to us.  It’s obviously a big issue for men.

Ryan:  Yea, it’s a real big issue.

Venice:  No seriously, with the wide array of things to worry about in a relationship, it seems like this huge issue hits home the hardest.

Ryan:  Yea, the wide array seems to be the huge issue hitting home pretty hard.

Venice:  Will you please stop!

Ryan:  That’s what his wife said…

Venice:  …fucking stop already!

Ryan:  Yup…

Venice:  I’m done.

Ryan:  Okay, sorry.  What were you going to say?

Venice’s response to Jealous of My Wife’s Huge Dildo

We’ve blogged in detail about our thoughts on wives and their huge dildos.   Since you are being open with us about your insecurities, just read your question to her.  Or show her this blog.  It’s that simple.  You can’t be mad or assume she understands how you feel without telling her.  You can even tell her that the huge dildo makes her feel too loose afterwards.  I mean, obviously, moments after taking out a huge dildo, the vagina will be much looser temporarily.  She can’t be mad at that.  Let her know that you aren’t comfortable and ask her if she can get a smaller size, maybe comparable to yours, or even under your size.  

As much as you think it would embarrass her to hear this from you.  If I were in her shoes, I’d be so much more embarrassed knowing you felt that way, and allowed me to think everything was okay.  I’d feel much worse than embarrassment.  I always want to know if I am doing something that turns my husband off, always.  

Ryan’s response to Jealous of My Wife’s Huge Dildo

Can you imagine if I bought a life sized doll with the exact same vagina as my wife?  I am sure that wouldn’t go over so well, no matter how sex positive I was trying to be.  Well now imagine that I bought a 50 foot woman doll and climbed up inside her vagina and bounced around in it nude for a few hours to get myself off.  Pretty silly right?

My point is, there is nothing wrong with you telling your wife that you are not comfortable with her have a dildo larger than life.  Or at least, larger than you.  If it makes you uncomfortable, it makes you uncomfortable.  If she is open minded and loves you, she will understand.  

If you seeing her enjoy herself is something you can’t give her, get over it.  She will get over it too.  Women don’t sit around and think about how great a huge cock feels to them.   Men do that.  It’s why you have such a problem with it.  Your wife isn’t going to obsess on that huge dildo because it made you uncomfortable.  In fact, once she mentally knows it bothers you, she may hate the idea of ever using it again.  Because she loves you.  She probably enjoyed it so much because she thought it would turn you on to see her extreme responses.  

Think for a second.  If you do something extreme, do you respond normally?  No.  You have an extreme response.  This was why she wanted to share that experience with you.  Imagine if she used the huge dildo and yawned and said “hurts more than it feels good” (which is probably the truth).  That wouldn’t be putting on a show for you.  She was trying to put on a show, and with a good attitude and enthusiasm, anything can be great.  And yes, with a positive attitude you can love huge dildos.