My boyfriend tells me my vagina smells, I’m his worst lover, and then cheated on me.
I am 26 years old and my boyfriend is 28. I am upset because he keeps telling me that all his previous girlfriends used to pleasure him in the best way by giving him amazing head and prostate orgasms . He complains that I am just too vanilla for him.
My backstory: I lost my virginity to him 2 months ago, and he always says I make too much noise or that my vagina smells. I feel like he’s always complaining, but god forbid if I tell him he’s making the slightest mistake. I just want to have smooth communication, but he’s my first boyfriend so I don’t really know how.
Last week my heart broke into a million pieces because I went out to buy candles and cute lingerie to surprise him and show him that I could be better in bed, only for him to come home from work with a long face to “talk”. I’m not an idiot, so I knew this meant he was gonna rant to me about how he’s not getting enough pleasure from the bedroom. And boy do I wish it was that. He told me that his coworker has been flirting with him and he couldn’t help himself. They had sex but he swore he didn’t catch feelings and it was a one night thing.
I love him, but I’m so hurt and I’ve been going though a lot mentally so this really took a toll on my mental health. I really don’t know what to do so some advice would be really appreciated.
Venice’s response to worse boyfriend cheated
This one is going to be extremely easy. Break up with him.
Ryan’s response to worse boyfriend cheated
I think telling a woman her vagina smells is equivalent to a woman telling a man his penis is small. Although your penis may be small, you’d hope that your partner is more sensitive about it. Him attacking your vagina smell seems like his way of beating down your self-esteem. It’s a form of abuse. And the more you lose self-confidence, the less chance you have of breaking up with him. Slowly disrespecting various things about your body (your weight, your vagina smell, your sense of style, your personality, and even your lack of sexual skills) and making you self-conscious, keeps you under his control. What are the chances of you breaking up with him if you think every man is going to be grossed out by your vagina smell?
Another control method is for a guy to compare you to his ex girlfriends. Although most of the time, it’s never true. His ex girlfriend being so great at sex is more than likely a porn he saw where the woman did everything his heart desires. It’s what he wants in a woman, but uses his “ex” as a form of control. Rather than comparing you to porn to get what he wants, he compares you to a tangible person that you’d more than likely try to compete with. He knows this. However the huge flaw here is, if his ex girlfriends were so much better in every way, why are they his ex girlfriends?
The perfect answer to the ex girlfriend scenario is simple: “Well, leave me alone and go back to your ex girlfriend then.” And to add a bit of spice, make sure you add, “If you mention anything about your ex’s to me again, we’re done.” No exceptions.
Draw your line. It works.
As far as openly telling you he cheated. This is grounds to break up regardless. He doesn’t respect you as a person. If you allow him to cheat, allow him to admit he cheats, allow him to tell you his ex girlfriends are better than you, allow him to disrespect your smells, then what won’t you allow him to do?
In other words, Venice said all this above in one sentence. Break up with him.