Q&A: My boyfriend tells me my vagina smells, I’m his worst lover, and then cheated on me.

worse boyfriend cheatedMy boyfriend tells me my vagina smells, I’m his worst lover, and then cheated on me.

I am 26 years old and my boyfriend is 28.  I am upset because he keeps telling me that all his previous girlfriends used to pleasure him in the best way by giving him amazing head and prostate orgasms .  He complains that I am just too vanilla for him.

My backstory:  I lost my virginity to him 2 months ago, and he always says I make too much noise or that my vagina smells. I feel like he’s always complaining, but god forbid if I tell him he’s making the slightest mistake. I just want to have smooth communication, but he’s my first boyfriend so I don’t really know how.

Last week my heart broke into a million pieces because I went out to buy candles and cute lingerie to surprise him and show him that I could be better in bed, only for him to come home from work with a long face to “talk”. I’m not an idiot, so I knew this meant he was gonna rant to me about how he’s not getting enough pleasure from the bedroom. And boy do I wish it was that. He told me that his coworker has been flirting with him and he couldn’t help himself. They had sex but he swore he didn’t catch feelings and it was a one night thing.

I love him, but I’m so hurt and I’ve been going though a lot mentally so this really took a toll on my mental health. I really don’t know what to do so some advice would be really appreciated.

Venice’s response to worse boyfriend cheated

This one is going to be extremely easy.  Break up with him.

Ryan’s response to worse boyfriend cheated

I think telling a woman her vagina smells is equivalent to a woman telling a man his penis is small.  Although your penis may be small, you’d hope that your partner is more sensitive about it.  Him attacking your vagina smell seems like his way of beating down your self-esteem. It’s a form of abuse.  And the more you lose self-confidence, the less chance you have of breaking up with him.  Slowly disrespecting various things about your body (your weight, your vagina smell, your sense of style, your personality, and even your lack of sexual skills) and making you self-conscious, keeps you under his control.  What are the chances of you breaking up with him if you think every man is going to be grossed out by your vagina smell?  

Another control method is for a guy to compare you to his ex girlfriends.  Although most of the time, it’s never true.  His ex girlfriend being so great at sex is more than likely a porn he saw where the woman did everything his heart desires.  It’s what he wants in a woman, but uses his “ex” as a form of control.  Rather than comparing you to porn to get what he wants, he compares you to a tangible person that you’d more than likely try to compete with.  He knows this.  However the huge flaw here is, if his ex girlfriends were so much better in every way, why are they his ex girlfriends?

The perfect answer to the ex girlfriend scenario is simple: Well, leave me alone and go back to your ex girlfriend then.”  And to add a bit of spice, make sure you add, “If you mention anything about your ex’s to me again, we’re done.”  No exceptions.

Draw your line.  It works.

As far as openly telling you he cheated.  This is grounds to break up regardless.  He doesn’t respect you as a person.  If you allow him to cheat, allow him to admit he cheats, allow him to tell you his ex girlfriends are better than you, allow him to disrespect your smells, then what won’t you allow him to do?   

In other words, Venice said all this above in one sentence.  Break up with him.

Q&A: I had sex for the first time and failed. What should I do?

I had sex for the first time and failed. What should I do?

For a bit of background I am clueless when it comes to girls. I’ve never had a girlfriend before. I have never kissed a girl. I have never held a girls hand. I’ve always been very self conscious about my looks and never thought any female would find me attractive so I never really even bothered trying.

I have been hanging out with this girl for the whole summer. She went to my high school and moved before graduation. She is back for the summer and we have been hanging out nearly every day. Just getting food, smoking weed, watching TV. Normal stuff. She invited me up to her room to check out her current living situation etc. I sit on her bed as there really is no where else to sit. She is showing me some new music she downloaded on her computer and after a while she showed me some funny YouTube videos.

The whole time she is inching closer and being very touchy etc. My dumbass did not pick up on any of these signs. Like I said earlier I didn’t think any girl would be attracted to me. Especially not one this pretty. So it’s getting late and she asks me to spend the night, i asked here where i should crash. She said I could just sleep in her bed with her. So i laid down under the blanket and was about to go to sleep when she gets in my face, maybe an inch or two away. She puckers her lips and closes her eyes. I literally and stupidly said, “what are you doing” and she said “what does it look like” and I said “it looks like you are trying to kiss me” she started laughing and that’s when my dumbass realized what was going on. We made out passionately for maybe five minutes. (I got my first kiss hooray!) Then she began taking my pants off and gave me my first ever hand and blow job (hooray again). She said she is usually really good and quick but I was very nervous and lasted a very long time. Her jaw began to hurt and i told her not to sweat it. Not sure why but I could not finish for the life of me.

She is talking extremely dirty and is asking for it, I talk dirty back and tell her I would give it to her etc. Well i got a condom on and she got on her knees into the doggy position. I have never seen a vagina let alone been in one at this point. Keep in mind it is very dark. I couldn’t find the hole to make things simple. She tried to help guide it in etc but it was just continously slipping out. She is very tall so it put me in a very awkward position. I could hardly reach and when I got it in it would come out easily because for one I am not yall and for two she has a rather large butt and my dick really is not very big either. Also I couldn’t manage to get fully erect with the condom on.

I felt super embarrassed and just sorta stopped after a few more attempts etc. I apologized profusely and she said I was fine and that it’s ok. I told her I was sorry I couldn’t satisfy her and she said something along the lines of no problem. I could tell from her tone she was bummed out. She put her clothes on and I suggested maybe I just go.

I’m at home writing this now and I hate myself smh. I dont know what to do. If I should try again, if that would be too awkward, if she doesnt even want to try again or even see me. Worst part is she doesn’t know I’m a virgin. Should I tell her? I really am bummed out, I didnt think sex would be this difficult. At the same time I am pleased to finally have kissed a girl and received oral. Amazing feeling 🙂

Venice’s response to had sex for the first time

For sure tell her that was your first time.   Had she known prior, she may have helped you a little more or not turned around so you would have to penetrate for the first time doggy style.  Not an easy position for a first timer!

Good ole fashion missionary would have been the way to go.  A good way to get her missionary is to go down on her, run your tongue through her vagina…maybe look at it closely and study it so when you try to stick your penis in it later, you know what you are doing!   And then you can add another first, the first time you ate a girl out.  Out of all those first times, that one is the most important in my opinion!  But maybe I’m bias.

Ryan’s response to had sex for the first time

I’m all about being open and honest.  If she talks with you again, let her know that was your first time.  Believe it or not, she won’t judge you in a negatively.  That’s kind of a guy thing.  Guys can be bullies when it comes to virginity.  She will probably find it adorable.  

Congrats on your first kiss, first blow job, first hand job, and the first time having sex.  Even if it was just a little penetration, that’s pretty much a grand slam right there.  It didn’t go as you planned, but that’s pretty much how everyone’s first time goes.  

The Web – How I Lost My Virginity – Tinder Adventures

Editor’s note:  This blog has no educational value at all and is just another wild true story from the internet.  Read at your own risk.

Well as promised on another thread I will tell you guys about my sexual conquests on the app tinder.

First a little backstory: I was super fat in high-school, but a very funny nice guy. Girls didn’t come easy but I managed to snag a few to date and screw around with. Nothing to brag about though. Well college comes around (I am now in great shape,and good looking) and the one I go to (which I won’t name) is very conservative and for the most part the 18-25 year old girls there are married or dating in serious relationships. Plus I’m doing Mathematical Physics as a major so I don’t have a lot of time for our bullshit Christian frats or lame activities on campus. Trust me they suck.  So with no pussy and nowhere to turn I try my hand at the app tinder.

What is Tinder?: So to keep it simple tinder is a dating app where you can only see matches that think you’re hot. Now there are some sweet girls on here that are legitimately looking for relationships (haha) and some who are looking for cock. 

Well enough of this horse-shit. On to some pics and stories. A blue can message me and I’ll send them pics so don’t start DV me because they are slow. Get ready to fap,

YpDZX4iMarissa the Female Axe Whale: About 2 days after downloading Tinder, I had pretty much forgotten about it. I was busy with school and stuff. Well, I decided to check it out again. I got a surprising amount of girls add me on there. Well one messaged me right as I added her. This girl is brunette about 5’1 decent looking (6/10). I bullshit for a second and finally ask her if she wants to go get some pizza and watch the Jones vs. Texeira fight. She agrees excitedly, we exchange numbers seems cool. 

Well, fast forward to the Saturday, we meet for pizza and MMA, and to say the least I was shocked at the whale that stepped out of the car. Now let me say this when I saw her, I immediately began to examine everything I was looking at. From the ashtray full of cigarettes, the the bong in the passengers seat, to the child’s car seat in the back of the 1997 beat to shit Altima, this girl was clearly a classy broad. She got in my car (we met at the local cinema) and I began to cough at the smell of AXE for women and Camel Crush cigarettes. As she begins to tell me about how much of a fuck up her ex boyfriend/baby-daddy was to her on the way to meet me I politely tell her that I was not aware she had a child.

The fuck count in our conversation is probably in the upper 50’s. Being the conservative college student I am, I was freaking the actual fuck out at my situation. She begins to tell me how a lot of guys don’t like to date her because she has a kid (that isn’t the reason), and that she is looking for someone special, she isn’t easy girl bullshit. After we watch the fights, where she was surprisingly fun company to have there, she asks to go sit and talk. In the middle of our conversation about her dead father (not shitting you) she grabs me and begins to stick her tongue down my throat. Well given the current information about the girl I am going to give you three choices about what happened. A.(I threw up) B.(I freaked out and told her I had to go) C.(got a feel of those tits and went to town).

C you sick fucks. Yes I began to suck the amazingly soft tits of the Axe for women whale that sat beside me. As she begged me for my cock, I thought “Fuck it” and bent her over to get in that ass. Now, as I bent her over (we were in my car in the parking lot of the cracker barrel next to the pizza place) I begin to think what the hell am I doing??? Once again fuck it.. I started eating that ass in the back seat of my car. After about 5 mins of that I begin to come to my senses and witnessed the worst pussy smell I have ever experienced. Still haunts me.. But alas I stuck my bare cock into the incredibly easy stick pudding infront of me. Losing my virginity in the process.

Well after that fuck session in the back of my new F150. I head home light headed and seriously stinking. The next morning I have about 9 missed texts from this girl telling me that I have the best cock she has ever felt and how she feels there is something special with me. This is when I knew that as an attractive, smart, male I could try to nail an average girl at my school who thinks I should have to earn the right to get her number, or go on Tinder and get my dick wet a few times a month. So I make plans with female AXE girl to go to her place and “watch a movie” the next weekend. Fast forward to then. I get to her house and she is on the porch smoking cigarettes like it is her fucking job. After that horrible experience breathing in that second hand smoke, we start watching some girl movie I don’t remember the one, and she starts grabbing my cock. We proceed to the bedroom if you can call it that. You know what guys, time out, that place was a shit-hole how the fuck can a woman raise a child in a place like that.. wtf. Anyway, she tells me she wants me to fuck her asshole, so of course I did. It was okay, tighter than her loose pussy at-least. After we got done banging she fell asleep while I watched SpaceBalls on the tv. About 1:30 AM I hear “MAMA MAMA MAMA”. And she shoots up and says, “fuck he’s awake” and she fucking brought the kid to bed with us. The bed remember where I anally fucked his mother about an hour earlier. Panicking, I text messaged my friend told him the situation and got him to call me about 15 minutes later saying he had car trouble and needed my help. When he did the girl starts crying saying she feels like she may love me and wants me to stay. I apologize and take my leave. Immediately blocked her number and have not talked to her since. Good times… 

Well that concludes the tale of Marissa the Female Axe Whale.