Q&A: My Husband Came Out As Bisexual
So my husband and I of three years were laying in bed a few nights ago talking about myself being bisexual and he asked shyly how I knew and when I knew. I answered and carried on like nothing happened when he said he wanted to tell me something. He came out to me as bisexual as well and talked about how he had a hookup style relationship with a guy before we started dating. He’s keep it a secret for years because his parents have always said its Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. It was a major breakthrough and I’m the first person he’s ever told and he was especially scared to even tell me (he finally felt super confident and empowered to tell someone I’ve always been super out about it) . It felt so heartwarming and its brought us even closer than before.
Tonight while we were in bed together he brings up wanting to explore his newly opened specialty in bed with toys. My question is where should we start? any advise from people who have been through similar situations would be amazing.
Venice’s response to bisexual husband
Not really that uncommon. In fact, the amount of men totally in the closet that are married is astronomical. Ask any gay man you know if they hook up with husbands. You’ll get laughed at! I’d go as far as saying that there are just as secretly bisexual married men apps like Grindr as their are openly gay men.
Some things you can try with your bisexual husband:
Pegging. This is where the woman wears a strap on and takes on the dominant role. Not all men that participate in this activity are bisexual, but it is role reversal and can be extremely fun and sexy. For a bisexual man, probably even more so. You can roleplay that you are a man, or you can just be the woman taking on a dominant position, piping down your husband until he explodes on his own chest and stomach.
Toss his salad. Again, nothing between a man and woman is bisexual, but the act of him being vulnerable and bending over for another person can be something a bisexual man would appreciate. I would also consider this an act that was made popular by gay culture. Not that a man and woman can’t enjoy rimming each other, but this kink was extremely big in gay culture. Tossing salad with no shame.
Snowballing. This doesn’t always have to be from the your mouth to his, but that is the basic term. Because it builds up volume going from your mouth, mixing with your salvia, into another person’s mouth, it is called snowballing. However, you can break the rules a bit and find creative ways to feed him his own semen. Whether it be with your hands, your mouth, or allowing him to cum directly into a shot glass and drinking his own semen while you watch. Kiss him and make him feel loved. Make sure you let him know you find it sexy so he doesn’t feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. And just know, chances are he has tasted and swallowed his own cum numerous times but would never tell a soul. So if he is willing to do it in front of you, you will only get closer.
Exploring his prostate while giving him a blow job. Or just prostate play in general. Although again, this isn’t always a bisexual thing, it definitely can be something a bisexual man can enjoy and appreciate.
The next suggestion is a bit more serious and not something I’d suggest trying until you are ready for this type of lifestyle change.
Offer to allow a gay man to enter your bedroom. If he is not interested in seeing a man be with you, let him know that you will not do any sort of oral or penetration with the guy, but will spoil him together with another man. This would be the ultimate bi experience. It may lead to other things, but this can be sexy as hell. It is also closure to your old way of seeing your husband, and hands on experience watching him enjoy another man. Or be enjoyed by another man.
Ryan’s response to bisexual husband
Congratulations, life will be so much better for you with this type of openness and communication. In fact, everything can be better now if you get to learn his sexuality and the things he’d like to try. And remember, being bisexual doesn’t mean he will ever do anything sexual with another man. Marriage is still marriage and if you are monogamous, bisexuality doesn’t give him permission to have sex with men. Men that aren’t bisexual like women in general. That doesn’t mean they can go out and bang more girls just because they like them.
As far as suggestions go, Venice has really hit the nail on the head with hers.