Q&A: How to introduce condoms after months of raw sex?
I am a 23 year old female and had been seeing this 33 year old guy for 3 months in the summer. When he first initiated sex he didn’t mention protection or move to grab a condom at all, so we had raw sex. I didn’t mention it in the moment as I didn’t want to make things awkward (although I would’ve found it the biggest turn on if he had).
I brought it up a couple weeks later and he gave that old spiel about generally being able to tell whether a girl has anything or not. I told him that I didn’t want to have unprotected sex until we got tested. Interestingly in the weeks he took to get it done, he didn’t initiate penetrative sex – I don’t know whether he was trying to be considerate of my feelings or that he thought condom sex was pointless. We did have sex with a condom once and it wasn’t any more difficult for him to come. He said it was better than he thought it was going to be.
I ended up ending things with him for unrelated reasons but we have reconnected and started talking again in the past couple of weeks. However even though he sent me his results and he’s all clear I still don’t want to have raw sex anymore. I’m imagining the conversation and it being awkward af… What’s the best way to say that I want to use condoms indefinitely despite the fact that we didn’t at the beginning?
Thanks in advance! 🙂
Venice’s response to raw sex or condom
The best way to communicate is by communicating. Simply tell him you aren’t going to have any type of intercourse without a condom. There is no tricky way to get your message and point across. Unfortunately, sometimes conversations and sexual topics can be awkward af. But pregnancy or wondering if the birth control may land on that .1% chance it doesn’t work is definitely stressing. And just having a casual partner’s cum inside you the following day when you are no longer horny isn’t that hot. Personally, I wouldn’t want a casual partner’s cum in my body the entire next few days following sex, no matter how hot he is. So I agree, raw sex is something very personal and something I’d want to experience only if I were in love. So communicate and let him know your reasons why. That’s really all you can do. If it’s awkward, it’s awkward. The alternative is exactly what you went through before, him just doing it how he wanted, or avoiding sex altogether.