Australian Brothels: First Hand Experience and Guide To The Low Down On The Down Under

Below is a great article written in detail by a man from Australia that has just gotten out of a monogamous marriage. He has decided to share his experience with legal brothels and escorts in Australia.   If you have any experiences you would like to share, please contact us.

Me – In my early 40s. Why? Because I’ve come out of a 20 year monogamous marriage, have never done anything like this before, have the cash and I’m not ready to date yet. I also figured it was safer from disease than Tinder. Plus, well… I’m in my 40s, balding and out of shape…

Where? Australia, in a city where there are legal, licenced brothels.

How many? 5 different Brothels, 10 different sex workers including one private escort (holy shit that actually seems like a lot now that I’ve written it down).

Why write this? Because it might provide useful info. Any sex workers on here please feel free to comment, good or bad. These are my opinions, observations, and assumptions – I could be wrong.

Terminology – I’m going to use “Sex worker” or “Escort” instead of “Prostitute” because where I’m from it’s a more respectful term.

BEFORE YOU GO

Many brothels have websites where you can read short bios of the girls. Most of them have fake pictures (the fine print says the image is a “likeness only”, and the likenesses are usually not all that accurate). The website usually has a roster, so you can see who is working and when. That way once you get to know the girls you know whether the ones you like are working, and can even make a booking in advance for a girl you particularly like.

ON ARRIVAL

All had off the street parking, behind a 6+ foot fence for privacy. Some of them even had sheets to place over your car for further privacy. None of them had large signs out the front. In general they’re the kind of place you could easily drive past without knowing what it is.

All of them had a front door you can’t open without being buzzed in. They must use the video cameras to judge whether you’re ok to enter.

When you’re buzzed in the receptionist meets you at the door & asks whether you’ve been there before. If you haven’t then they explain how everything works. They’re usually very friendly and try to put you at ease. They then take you to a small room with 2 chairs, or a small couch. If it’s busy they take you to a normal style waiting room where you have the joy of waiting with other men. This only happened once to me. I never made eye contact with anyone. Once a small room is ready you’re taken in and the door is usually shut.

THE SMALL ROOM

The small room is the room where you’re introduced to the girls. It usually has 2 chairs or a small couch, a side table with pornos and sexual health pamphlets, a TV with porn playing with the sound down, and a CCTV camera up in the corner looking at you. There are often signs on the wall with stuff like the standard rates and advice safe sex (with condoms) is mandatory by law, so don’t ask for unprotected sex.

THE RATES

Ok, so I’ve put this before the intros, because it’ll make more sense. There are two rates – one for the brothel and one for the sex worker. The brothel’s rate is purely time based. 20 mins, 30 mins, 45 mins, 1 hour – whatever. It might be about $150. It usually includes the basics of a “massage”, hand job, penis in vagina sex and oral on you, and you get to cum once. That’s all. The sex worker’s rate covers “extras”. What is defined as an extra, and how much the extras are, are entirely up to the individual sex worker. Typical extras include things like kissing the sex worker’s breasts, her kissing your body, you giving oral to the sex worker, kissing each other on the lips, fingering, deep throat blow job vs normal blow job. Basically anything over a hand job and penis in vagina sex.

To make the whole extras thing easier, some girls offer package deals, often called GFE or PSE

GFE = Girlfriend Experience and often includes things link you giving oral on the sex worker, you kissing the sex worker’s breasts, multiple cums.

PSE = Porn Star Experience and includes GFE plus extras like French kissing, deep throat blow job, toys, squirting etc.

THE INTROS

One by one the girls will come in and introduce themselves. They’re wearing something sexy. They ask you whether you have any questions.

Ok, I’ll break from the facts at this point to give an opinion… You may think you’re a big shot having women paraded in one at a time for your choice, but I reckon they’re judging you as much as you’re judging them. “Does this guy have money for extras?” / “Do I really want to fuck this guy with no teeth who smells like he hasn’t showered in a week?” / “I’ve just done two bookings in a row, I need a break” / “The rent’s due this week and I need the cash” / “I’ve already cleared $600 today, I don’t really need this” etc.

Back to the facts… The girls will ask whether you have any questions. This is the time to ask what’s included in the standard booking fee vs what’s extra. What are extras for some girls will be inclusions for others and vice versa. In general the hotter the girl the less is included in standard, and potentially the more extras will cost. I mean if you were the sex worker and you could charge more than the next girl because you’re smoking hot, wouldn’t you?

Some girls will swing in, show little interest and then leave. Others will sit down to have a chat. I guess it comes down to a lot of different factors (see above for a few examples). Once the girls have all come through the receptionist reappears and asks which girl you’d like. You pay the receptionist the standard rate.

THE BEDROOM

The girl you chose comes back & takes you to a bedroom. Depending on the brothel this might be a room with just a shower and bed, or it might be a room with shower, spa bath, massage table, theme room (African etc.). The walk to the bedroom is a good time to engage in a little small talk.

THE EXTRAS, THE INSPECTION & THE SHOWER

Once you reach the room you confirm what extras you want, and pay the girl in cash on the spot.

Rubber glove time. Time to inspect your junk for infection. If you show signs of infection then it’s a no go. Yes, there are rubber gloves and a light. In fact, if this doesn’t happen then I suggest you GTFO because if they didn’t inspect you then they didn’t inspect the other 100 guys with Herpes, Gonorrhoea etc.

After the inspection they tell you to have a shower to freshen up. Fair enough, but keep an eye on the time. From what I can tell, the clock starts ticking the moment the door shuts. I have a feeling some sex workers use this time to wind down the clock “have a quick shower, I’ll be back in 10 mins” WTF? I booked 30 mins, and 10 mins will be spent in the shower by myself?

The better places will have toothpaste, mouthwash and deodorant available for you to use after your shower.

THE START

Sometimes the sex worker will offer a massage at the start. I’m guessing this has 2 purposes: Firstly to break the ice between you and her and secondly, to further wind down the clock. Getting started with the sex can be weird. I mean really, both of you are about to have sex with someone you just met. Anyway – the better sex workers will find a way to make this less awkward.

THE SEX

How is the sex? Well there’s good and there’s bad.

The good:

• You get to have sex with women hotter &/or just plain different than you realistically would ever have been able to outside of this arrangement. Hot young surf chick? Hard rocking chick with tatts? MILF? Slender? Thick? Whatever – you have the opportunity to partake, depending on availability.

• You are paying for a service, so there is usually a degree customer service.

• The sex worker is usually experienced and knows how to help.

• You might be able to try a bunch of stuff you’ve never done before.

The bad:

• It never matches the high of making love to someone with whom you have a true connection.

• It never matches the passion of a one night stand, where you’ve both played the game all night and are now down for some hard core fucking.

• You’re having sex with someone who may have already had it several times today / dozens of times this week and despite their efforts, might not seem to be into it.

AFTERWARDS

After you finish they’ll ask whether you want a shower to clean up. If there’s time left they may give you (a generally shithouse – they’re sex workers, not masseurs after all) massage until time’s up.

There’s usually a timer of some sort – either their phone alarm, or a single phone ring to let you know time’s up. The girl will often take you out an exit separate from the entrance, for your privacy.

GENERAL OBSERVATIONS

• Hotter women charge more for the same service and vice versa.

• Some girls will put on music. It’s not just to set the mood – they know how long the playlist goes for and will use it to keep track of the time.

• Some girls will start faking orgasm when it gets close to time, in order to help make you cum. In fact I would say that the best sex workers are the ones who can fake it the best. Personally it’s unfulfilling to have sex with someone who doesn’t give feedback, even if it’s fake.

• Some girls will try to make you cum as fast as possible (they know how to). Remember – many places only allow one shot per session. If you were the sex worker would you prefer having sex for 30 mins or would you make the guy cum in 15 mins then take the next 15 having a shower and giving a massage?

• The one time I was put in the waiting room I saw 3 foreign guys (two of whom were mates) and one local. The local must have booked a GFE in advance and brought flowers for the girl. It was really sweet. The girl came to the waiting room in a nice dress to pick him up and took the flowers with a big smile. I thought she did a really good job for the guy.

• Some of the more popular girls get booked out in advance. I’m not at that level of knowing who’s who and when they’re working. But if you like someone then you should probably book them so you don’t miss out.

ETTIQUETTE AND TIPS

• Remember, the girls are human. Yes, they are providing a service, but that doesn’t mean you can be an arsehole.

• Try to build rapport in the small room. Chose a girl you have some chemistry with. Yes, there might have been a hotter girl but would you rather have sex with someone who breezed in for 15 seconds and didn’t give a fuck because she’s so hot she knows she’ll walk out and get booked straight away, or someone who’s only slightly less hot but took the time to sit down and chat with you for 2 minutes?

• You’re paying for a service, but remember point one – the girls are human. I reckon most girls would give better service to a guy who’s average looking but nice, clean, respectful and tries to build rapport vs a guy who’s hot but a complete fuckwit.

• Hygiene! Clean yourself before going. Have a shower, wash your hair, clean your junk (including your arse!), clean your teeth, use mouthwash and put on clean clothes BEFORE heading to the brothel. Yeh, you’ll have to have a shower again before you get there, but do you really think you’ll get the best service if you turn up stinking and flop out your dick for inspection only for it to stink of a hard day’s work, and covered in cheese from not being cleaned properly for days? Or if you’ve cleaned your dick immaculately but forgot to scrub your arse, which is only a couple of inches away. Or do you expect a girl to give a fantastic blow job when you’ve got a thick Amazon forest of pubes around your cock? Besides, if you have a proper shower before going then you don’t have to spend as long getting clean in the room, and get more time on the bed.

• Don’t try to haggle with the girls. Many of the places have signs on the walls asking you not to do this. I reckon it’d be pretty demeaning “So you want $50 extra to suck your tits? Best I can do is $30” Fuck that.

• Keep an eye on the time. Note what time you entered the room. As previously mentioned, some girls will try to wind down the clock by using shower time or massage time. Be aware of this.

• If you have a “large” dick then be aware that many Asian sex workers are, well, small down there, and it can be painful for them. They may not be able to give you the service you’re after because it’s physically painful for them.