Month: July 2014

July 13, 2014

Random Moments With Us – Preemie

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As I lay in bed with Venice, our daughter crawls in bed next to us and tries to cuddle up.  I look down and push her face away and say, “She was my mom first.”

Our daughter makes a sad face and Venice grabs her and says, “Don’t be mean Ryan, you know she was our little preemie.”  Our daughter was born at 6 months and has been called a preemie now for 3 years.

I pushed my daughter’s face away again and looked at Venice in baby talk, “I’m your first baby.”

Venice looked back down at me and said, “Oh sweetie, you will always be my first preemie.”

July 9, 2014

Q&A: Is it acceptable for a man to wear a butt plug?

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Is it acceptable for a man to wear a butt plug? –  @GeorgeOneill18 via Twitter

Venice’s Response:

The funny thing about butt plugs is no one knows you’re wearing it except to whomever you chose to reveal it. It’s kind of like a dirty secret between you and your lover. Unlike a new pair of heels or a fitted cap, you can’t publicly show a butt plug. There is no purpose to it. So why do I wear it? I wear it to feel sexy, to feel dirty, to know that there’s something between my legs other than my vagina and that if anyone ever found out, it would blow their minds. I wear it to boost my sexual confidence. I put it on secretly in the morning, then text pictures of me wearing it to my husband to tease HIM for the rest of the day.

So, yes, I absolutely think it’s acceptable for a man to wear a butt plug for all the reasons I just stated.

Ryan’s Response: 

Venice answered the question perfectly.  The only person that will ever know you have on a butt plug is people you want to show or tell.  Otherwise, it doesn’t matter.  Now, if you want to talk theoretically on whether or not a man wearing a butt plug would be considered gay, that is a whole other discussion.

Being called gay or considered gay by someone else is simply a label. Everyone likes to label things because it helps them understand it. They are simple minded, and the way a simple mind works, they need labels.  However, that label has no effect on your life unless you let it.  If you do not consider yourself gay or bisexual, then guess what?  You aren’t gay or bisexual, regardless of what others want to label you.  Your ass is your ass. Your body is your body.  Nothing makes you gay except you saying you’re gay.  Even if it’s a man’s finger, a penis, or a one time experiment, you aren’t gay unless you consider yourself gay.   Being gay isn’t a race, or a permanent tattoo that once you try something, no matter how you feel, you are forever gay.  Maybe to simple close minded people, but who cares what they think.

I’ve never used an anal butt plug, because truthfully it just doesn’t feel good to me.  However, the tip of the finger during a blow job feels absolutely amazing.  Having my legs scooped up and being tongue fucked feels even more amazing.  My rim area is highly sensitive and I love the feeling of that area being played with.  It’s my g(guy)-spot.  However, I hate the feeling of that area being penetrated too deep. There is an area, about maybe an inch and half inside, that once penetrated, feels awful to me.  I’ve always had a sensitive prostate, so this is just my preference.  Do I care that I openly enjoy having my ass licked, tongue fucked, or played with by other women?  Nope.   It’s my body I decide what is acceptable.  If some people decide to call me gay because two women tongue fucked me in the ass together, then I will just be gay to them.  And trust me, if I enjoyed wearing a butt plug, I would wear one.

July 8, 2014

The Vagina Dialogues – Varts and Queefs

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Previous Vagina Dialogue

vf3First of all, I am back.  For now, Ryan is done hosting or drafting The Vagina Dialogues.   You see, how we normally do mutual blogs is one of us will draft the questions and keep notes so they can have control over the direction of the blog or its dialogue.  Once all the ideas are jotted down, we’ll set a time for us to sit down and talk, so we can run ideas back and forth.  If it’s an email with a question, he will email his answer back to me and I will put the blog together.  If it’s a Freaky Friday or Vagina Dialogue, we will read the word or fact and kind of play off of each other.  Usually something funny or worth writing will come up and the person hosting/drafting the blog will take little notes.  At that point, the person hosting/drafting the blog will find the time to put the blog together and make everything flow.

Although Ryan is extremely cute, he lost his privilege to host The Vagina Dialogues for now.  Maybe if he makes it up to me and earns a little extra credit with my vagina, I will give him the opportunity to pilot the ship. For now, it’s like letting a little kid who likes to play with blinking lights in the cockpit of an airplane.  Although it’s obvious he loves hitting all the cute little flashing buttons, he has no idea what he is doing or where he is going.

31. Childbirth

One word: childbirth.  It’s an unbelievable fact that the vagina can allow a 10-plus-pound baby to come through it and still come back to a normal size. The healing process generally takes about six months post-baby, but that’s still pretty impressive considering what the body part went through.

Ryan: I already did 31.
Venice: Yea, except these are actual real facts Ryan.
Ryan: Mine were real facts too.
Venice: …
Ryan: What? Just because I made them up doesn’t mean they aren’t real facts.
Venice: Actually, that’s exactly what that means.
Ryan: Well, your 31 is stupid and boring.  Oh boy, vaginas really have babies?  I never would have known.
Venice: I’m sorry actual facts are boring to you Ryan.  I guess I should have said that our vaginas can grow wings at night while we sleep and fly to the moon and play hopscotch with all of the other vaginas.
Ryan: So fake.  That could never be a real fact like the ones I made up.
Venice: Are you done?  Can you at least talk a little bit about this actual fact that wasn’t made up by your imagination?
Ryan: Nope.  You didn’t have vaginal birth.  A fact that doesn’t apply to you or a lot of people, because some women don’t go back to normal size, and some vaginas can’t allow 10-plus-pound babies to come through it.  In fact, most women don’t have 10-plus-pound babies.
Venice: Oh god.
Ryan: How is this a fact when it doesn’t apply to almost all women?
Venice: Someone needs some fries with his wahburger.

Continue Reading The Vagina Dialogues – Varts and Queefs

July 7, 2014

The Vagina Dialogues – The Vagina Canteen

Vagina Dialogues , , 1 Comment

Previous Vagina Facts

vagina dialoguesWe have now changed the name of this blog segment to “The Vagina Dialogues.”  Why did we switch from “Fun Facts About The Vagina” to “The Vagina Dialogues”?  No real reason. We personally liked the name better and since Venice and I talk throughout the facts we felt it was a better fit.  And yes, I am back.  Since the last Vagina Dialogue I hosted seemed to do very well, Venice asked me to host another.

I am excited to share a few facts about the vagina, especially since I have mastered it.  I’ve researched and can safely say these facts are exclusive to our blog.

31. The Origin of the Rubber Band

A little known fact about the elasticity of the vagina.  The original rubber band was made with the same material that comprises a woman’s labias.  In 1839, Charles Goodyear developed vulcanization which is used to make rubber today.  However, in 1838, English Merchants traded with various African tribes and ended up with an elastic material that helped create the first rubber band.  It was later discovered the material originated from Female Genital Mutilation (FGM).  Although Charles Goodyear is credited with vulcanization, the rubber band itself was originally patented in England on March 17, 1845 by Stephen Perry.

Venice: Oh my gosh.
Ryan: Yea, pretty neat.  I think it’s cool the vagina basically created the rubber band.
Venice: I guess so but that is still a pretty sick  fact.
Ryan: Makes me want to eat rubber bands.
Venice: Ugh.

Continue Reading The Vagina Dialogues – The Vagina Canteen

July 5, 2014

Random Moments With Us – Getting Bruno’d

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Black BikersOn the way home from work earlier this week, I took the back way to avoid traffic from the main roads. I stopped at a red light and a few moments later two bikers pulled up next to me.  From my peripheral vision I saw that they were two big black guys.  I didn’t want to look over to them fearing that it would signal that I wanted the BBC.  I always make sure not to set off any BBC radars unnecessarily.  I gazed straight ahead waiting for the light to turn green, when suddenly out of no where I heard the first familiar notes of Bruno Mars’ “Locked Out of Heaven.”

I looked down at my dashboard to see if my radio was on – it wasn’t.  I looked around to see if there was a white 19-year-old college girl who was getting ready for a weekend of clubbing by blasting her favorite party jam – there wasn’t.  In fact, there wasn’t anyone around except for the two bikers… and one of them had the song playing on full blast.  Accidentally, I made eye contact with the large black biker who Bruno’d me. I nodded my head once, ever so slightly, as a sign of affirmation and gave him a thumbs up; he gave me an thumbs up in return.

Eventually the light turned green and I made a left and headed home.  I looked in my rear view mirror to make sure they weren’t following me.  I’m not racist – I can’t be… I’m brown.  No, they weren’t following me.  What I did see was the reflection of a big biker dude fist-pumping to the bass of that little Asian boy’s song.

Bruno Mars “Locked Out of Heaven” video

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