Q & A: My Husband (almost 5 inches in penis size) offered to wear a big strap on to see if I could orgasm. Should I?

Q & A: My Husband (almost 5 inches in penis size) offered to wear a big strap on to see if I could orgasm. Should I?

I’ve never cum from PIV sex with my husband but I cum easily with my magic wand.  My husband also has difficultly cumming in me from PIV sex because I feel loose to him.  So we usually just skip PIV sex and mutually masturbate.

My husband knows he’s small and it bothers him. A few months ago he asked me if I ever cum from PIV sex with other men before we were married and I told he truth that I had. One guy I dated who was about 7” would hit a spot that would make me cum almost every time he fucked me.

My husband told me he was sorry he couldn’t make me cum like that and I explained that I cum harder from my vibrator than I ever have from PIV sex and that there’s more to a relationship than just sex, but I can tell it still bothers him.

So a few weeks ago, out of the blue, he tells me that he sometimes fantasizes about having a big dick and watching it going in an out of me and asks me if I would let him fuck me with a big strap on so he can experience what it would be like to fuck me with a big dick.

The thought of being fucked with a big dick does turn me on, but I’m worried how my husband would react if I cum from him fucking me with a big strap on. Would that make him more insecure about his small cock or will it make him feel better knowing he can make me cum by fucking me?

Venice’s response to big strap on?

I believe you should look into penis sleeves.   This sleeve actually fits over your husband’s penis like a thick condom and will make his length and girth much larger.  Personally, I think you should do anything in the bedroom that can make your sex lives better.   Dildos, toys, sleeves, and even other people!   If it is something he is open to try, try it.  If it makes you cum, awesome!   Just because it’s a sleeve does not mean your husband should feel insecure.  Since you are already self-conscious about the idea that the sleeve may make him feel inadequate, prepare him mentally.   Make sure he understands that its him making you cum, not just the sleeve.  The feeling of the sleeve, plus the comfort you feel with him, being in love, and wanting to enjoy him.  It’s not just pure size giving you that orgasm, it’s him and the size.  You love him, so even if that isn’t true, it doesn’t hurt to emphasize it’s not just the size.    

Personally, when I tried to go larger, I hated it.  Maybe it didn’t feel natural, or it just poked me too far in the back, but I just didn’t enjoy it.  After a few minutes I asked him to please remove it.  For the record, I also do not enjoy penetrative dildos and things of that sort.  I do enjoy vibrating toys, but just on my clitoris area.  

Ryan’s response to big strap on?

No matter a man’s size, some of us go through this phase.  I did.  It wouldn’t matter if I was almost 5 inches or 9 inches, the idea of your penis being bigger and seeing your woman take a larger size is a turn on.  Porn and various photos that float around on social media show huge 12 inch men.   We see some women swoon over it.  So why wouldn’t any size man want to add a few more inches in girth and length and see what it would be like?  Penis sleeves allow this type of experience, so why not?  I say go for it.

Although my experience wasn’t a super sexy experience, it was still an experience.  I saw my wife in pain, I felt her put her hands on my hips and crawl away from me.  It was everything that you never see in porn.  A big ass dick that doesn’t really fit comfortably inside a woman, causing pain.  If it was real, maybe she would put up with all the pain and things that go with being that hung, but with a fake sleeve?  She asked me to please stop and I did.  We haven’t tried it since.  In fact, she was turned off to the idea of anything other than a real penis inside her body.   It just wasn’t her thing.

Q & A: What Are Some Creative Ways To Please My Wife Sexually?

boring sexQ & A: What Are Some Creative Ways To Please My Wife Sexually?

While checking my search history I found a reddit post from what appears to be my wife unhappy with our sex life  In searching around for things to spice up my marriage or find extreme things to try I happen to find your blog.   Although it is not my normal routine to email a sex blog, I figured why not.   Is there anything you can suggest for me to try with my wife in the bedroom, that isn’t too extreme, but not  boring?  Also, a bit embarrassing, I tend to orgasm quickly when we do have sex.  This is partially the reason that I have slowed down my sex life because it makes me feel insecure.  I guess I’d rather give her no sex rather than quick sex because I can’t control my ejaculation.   I know I just hit you with a load there, but any advice is appreciated.

Venice’s response  to please my wife sexually:

I actually laughed out loud reading “I just hit you with a load there…”  Oh boy.  You couldn’t even make it through the email without losing your load huh?

I’m joking!

There are so many things you can do to add an adventure to your bedroom.  Or how about, you journey outside your bedroom?  Nothing can make you feel more free during sex than walking on a beach and making out in the sand.   Or finding a nice private spot and having sex in your car.  It gets the adrenalin going and can be extremely fun.  

You can also try sex toys.  A vibrator or wand in the bedroom can be really fun.  It can also help with your premature ejaculation issue!  I will explain and demonstrate how.  Rather than getting on top of her and going full speed, lay to the side of her.  This sideways position will keep you from going too fast.   While sideways, let her use a vibrator or a wand on her body.  It will be easy for her to play with her clit while you lay to the side.  I believe that you will learn something new about your wife while she uses a wand.  She’s cums fast too!  Because the wand is no joke.  I have probably had an orgasm in 30 seconds while using a wand in this p0sition. 

So did I handle your load well?!  

Ryan’s response  to please my wife sexually:

One of the ways I would suggest is trying a hollow strap on!  Whether you are large, average, or small, this adds a whole new element to the bedroom.  If you are into role play, you can even talk to her about the idea of pretending to be someone else.  To add to the spice, suggest her wearing a blindfold so she can’t see you.  Her mind and imagination can be your greatest asset in the bedroom.  Slide on the hollow strap on, make sure she is lubricated properly, and give her a whole new sensation.  This may drive her wild.  It also can totally help with your premature ejaculation issue, as  you will have a lot less sensation while using this toy.

Disclaimer:  I have tried this with Venice and she eventually had to stop me.  The stretch was so intense that she just couldn’t handle it.  However, the sore feeling she felt for days afterwards kept her wet and horny.  She loved feeling like she had been totally fucked and stretched out.  

To be honest, it’s hard suggesting to another couple what is or isn’t boring in the bedroom. This is totally subjective.  I mean, I can think of 100s of things that can make your sex life much less boring, but those things may all be too extreme for you, or her.  My advice is to talk with her, find out the things she wants to try, ask her about her fantasies, and see if you can find ways to make her those things come true.  If you haven’t tried sex toys, ask her if she would like to try.  Really, as always, it comes down to communication.  She is asking her questions on reddit, you are asking your question on a sex blog.  You both need to sit down and ask each other these questions!   


Random Moments With Us – Preemie

As I lay in bed with Venice, our daughter crawls in bed next to us and tries to cuddle up.  I look down and push her face away and say, “She was my mom first.”

Our daughter makes a sad face and Venice grabs her and says, “Don’t be mean Ryan, you know she was our little preemie.”  Our daughter was born at 6 months and has been called a preemie now for 3 years.

I pushed my daughter’s face away again and looked at Venice in baby talk, “I’m your first baby.”

Venice looked back down at me and said, “Oh sweetie, you will always be my first preemie.”

Q & A: Premature Ejaculation?

pre ejaculationMark from the internet:

Hi! I have a problem when having sex. Even before we both start enjoying sex, I already cum.  We usually start with the 69  then go on to have sex.  She takes a bit long to orgasm. I really would like us both to enjoy sex. What can I do to postpone my ejaculation and make her climax earlier? PLEASE HELP!

Venice’s response:

Hi Mark. Thank you for your question. Do you and your partner engage in any kind of foreplay? Because I noticed that you said “We usually start with the 69 then go on to have sex.” To me, that sounds like you are both stuck in a sexual routine.

First off, I applaud your desire to please her during sex. Since you said you ejaculate too early, it is obviously pleasing to you. But now you want her to enjoy it with you. I suggest changing your routine and regular methods, positions, locations – basically anything that is out of the ordinary for you. It’s not just about the orgasm for a woman. You have to take in many factors when being intimate with a woman. Begin by showering her with compliments about her body, how much you appreciate her, how you’ve thought about her all day, how you miss her smell. All these things build up an anticipation in both you and her. She will realize that it’s not just the sex that you want from her. Fuck in different places in the house. Get frisky in public (please don’t get arrested). Anything that can spice up your sex life.

Also remember that foreplay doesn’t necessarily mean the five minutes before you penetrate her. I like for Ryan to grab my ass in the middle of the store while I grope his dick. I smell his neck and kiss his ear during dinner. He squeezes my tits…well, pretty much whenever he can! And I love it! It shows me that he loves me, he’s turned on by me, and he’s ready to fuck me.

As for making her climax earlier, change your routine, as I suggested earlier. Change the actual physical contact (lick her feet and work your way up, or lick her everywhere except her tits and pussy). Use toys, massage her, build up her anticipation. Her mind is already thinking “we’re going to 69, then fuck.” Give her the unknown, the excitement of not knowing what you have planned for her.

I commend you for taking the steps in the right direction, which is to make sure she enjoys sex with you. Because if she’s bored or just not excited, she may find other ways to get excited.

Ryan’s response:

Honestly, I have never had a premature ejaculation issue.  Although I admit, Venice will play around and give me a hard time every now and then if we experience my version of a “premature” ejaculation.  My version doesn’t happen in minutes though, it could be 30 minutes into sex and I will be grinding in and out of her body talking dirty, no orgasm feeling whatsoever.  Venice will then give me that ‘oh god, you are doing it so perfect‘ face and quietly whisper or loudly scream, “Keep going, I’m getting that cum feeling.”   I immediately feel my body wanting to orgasm from that point forward.  Remember, this is after having sex for 30 minutes with no orgasm feeling at all.  I mean, I feel like a workhorse that can literally fuck her all night, no breaks.   If she catches me on the wrong night with, “Oh god, you are going to make me cum,” I can go from 0 to 100  in just a few seconds.   In my opinion, this is just pure excitement and anticipation.  If I know she loves it, I love it more.  If I know she feels like she is going to cum, I will also feel like I am going to cum.  Whether we are in sync or my brain overreacts to the idea of her cumming because of my dick, I can immediately get that feeling when she tells me she feels “it.”

However, there have been times when I release first.  If this happens, I will offer to go down on her afterwards or offer to let her use her toy/vibrator.  I am multi orgasmic so even if I cum once, I can go again.   Most of the time though, she reaches climax before I even start, and we do this on purpose.  I will use her vibrator or our hands during very light intercourse, to stimulate her clit.   I won’t get worked up or fuck her hard, just a real nice slow fuck while we play with her sensual spots  and get her off.  What I mean by that is, I will move slow and let her feel the sensation of my erect penis being inside her vagina or ass, whether I am sitting up or laying off to the side of her.  I will slowly dig deep inside her and grind while we stimulate her clit.  She will usually orgasm quickly with direct clit stimulation, and as she cums, she will pull me in and beg to be fucked hard.  This is when I start.  The positions change, the speed change, the shit talk starts.    Sometimes Venice will cum again, but it isn’t on my mind.   It’s open season.

With that being said, Venice has also told me that she is equally as satisfied feeling me cum inside her as she is when she cums herself.  Whether it be a mental thing or not, she has taught herself to enjoy feeling and seeing me at my most vulnerable moment.  She loves it.  I’ve noticed lately she will even talk me through everything she is feeling during sex:  like how it feels when my penis head rubs her walls, how she can feel the texture of the veins on my dick rubbing through her lips, and the way my balls feel slapping against her ass (warm, cold, full, heavy),  everything.  Just last night she told me she felt my penis pushing very hard against the back walls of her vagina, and as I came, she could actually feel the sperm push out of my urethra hole and grind against her back wall and my penis head.  In fact, she moaned, “Oh god, I can feel it coming out of you.”  This idea and feeling made her orgasm.   Not only that, she laid there after I was done and said she couldn’t stop her vagina from twitching.

How does that help you?  It doesn’t really.  I got carried away.

Quick ideas:  You may try numbing cream to help you desensitize your penis so it doesn’t feel “so” good it immediately makes you cum.  You can try wearing a thick condom which has been known to take a lot of the feeling away.  You can try thinking about something other than sex, like playing a round of golf in your head or saying the alphabet backwards.   You can masturbate prior to having sex.  This can naturally help you last longer even if you do not have a premature ejaculation issue.

As far as helping her enjoy sex more?  It’s a mental issue.  If she is open minded she can find a lot of reasons to love and enjoy sex.  If she sees sex as something she does at night to make you happy, and every now and then she can orgasm too, it may not be such an easy task.  Not only that, you have to find out what makes her tick.  Talk to her and find out what she likes, what turns her on, what she enjoys the most about your foreplay.  Although above was more of my own personal story, there is a lot of things you can snatch out of that story and try for yourself.

Wiki’s response:

When deciding the appropriate treatment, it is important for physician to distinguish PE as a “complaint” versus PE as a “syndrome”.  About 20 years ago, PE was classified into “lifelong PE” and “acquired PE”. Recently, a new classification of PE was proposed based on controlled clinical and epidemiological stopwatch studies, and it included 2 other PE syndromes: “natural variable PE” and “premature-like ejaculatory dysfunction”. Only individuals with lifelong PE with IELT <1 to 1.5 minutes should require medication as a first option, along with or without therapy. For those who fall into one of the other categories, treatment should consist of patient reassurance, behavior therapy, and/or psychoeducation to explain irregular early ejaculation is a normal variation.

Dapoxetine (Priligy) is a short-acting selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) marketed for the treatment of premature ejaculation. Dapoxetine is the only drug with regulatory approval for such an indication. Currently, it is approved in several European countries, including Finland, Sweden, Portugal, Austria and Germany. Dapoxetine is currently waiting for U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approval after concluding the Phase III study, which included participants from 25 other countries, including the United States. In this diverse population, dapoxetine significantly improved all aspects of PE and was generally well tolerated.

Tramadol (Ultram or Tramal) is an FDA approved atypical oral analgesic for mild pain. It is atypical because it is similar to an opioid, is an agonist at the mu receptor, but also is similar to an anti-depressant in that it increases levels of serotonin and norepinephrine.  Tramadol also has few side effects, low abuse potential, and increases (IELT) 4-20 fold in greater than 90% of men.

Clomipramine (Anafranil) is sometimes prescribed to treat PE. One side effect of the drug can help delay ejaculatory response. The side effect is described by the Mayo Clinic as “Increased [sic] sexual ability, desire, drive, or performance.”

Desensitizing topical medications that are applied to the tip and shaft of the penis can also be used to treat premature ejaculation. These topical medications are applied on an “as needed” basis 10-15 minutes before anticipated sexual activity and have fewer potential systemic side effects as compared to pills taken orally. However, use of these topical medications have in the past been associated with loss of penile sensation, and reduction of sensation for the partner due to exposure.  Penis insensitivity and transference to the partner are greatly reduced when using new topical anesthetic sprays based on absorption technology which enable the active ingredient to penetrate through the through the surface skin of the penis(ie stratum corneum) to the sensory nerves which reside in the dermis. Any residual surface medication can be wiped off before sexual activity to further reduce partner concerns.

Another method, intracavernous pharmacotherapy, involves injecting a vasodilator drug directly into the penis to help men control premature ejaculation and maintain their erection. It has been proven to be effective in over seventy percent of test patients.[citation needed] This method is used by companies such as Florida Men’s Medical Clinic, Boston Medical Group and others.

The Human Praying Mantis? She’ll try to rip your head off if you cum.

RACQUEL-GONZALEZAlthough her boyfriend came at the wrong time, the cops came not a moment too soon.

Racquel Gonzalez, 24, has been arrested for allegedly assaulting her boyfriend, 30-year-old Esric Davis, when he had an orgasm and she did not, according to a police report obtained by the Smoking Gun.

This is a case of premature ejaculation gone astray.

The Manatee County, Florida couple were having sex on Monday afternoon, Davis told deputies, and after he climaxed too soon, Gonzalez immediately got angry and started scratching and hitting him. 

The police report states that Davis had scratches near his eye and nose. Davis also told investigators that Gonzalez has issues from her past and “goes off” on him frequently.

Gonzalez, who the report states was uncooperative and belligerent during her arrest, was charged with felony domestic battery.

Florida seems to be a hot spot for sex related mishaps this year. In September, a woman was arrested near Port Charlotte after pulling a gun on a man while they were having sex in a moving car.

Earlier that same month, a couple in Zephyrhills wound up in the slammer after their menage a trois gone wrong ended in gunfire, police Tasing, and a SWAT team surrounding the house.

Source: Huffington Post, TheSmokingGun

Police documents below: