Things A Woman Should Never Do or Say During Sex

Things a woman should never do during sex:   

Ryan:  If a man pulls out his dick from your vagina and sticks it in your face, never say to him, “Ewww” or “Gross.”   Don’t turn away and gag.   It’s your body, if it’s gross to you, why would he want it?   
Venice:  Fake it till you make it ladies.  Even if you are not used to your own smell or taste, shove it in your mouth and pretend its the best thing in the world.  If it does happen to smell off, fake it until you make it.  The next day figure out what is going on with your body.  Whether that be a Ob-Gyn appointment or learning to clean yourself properly.  Our bodies shouldn’t be gross or smell.  

Things a woman should never do during sex:   

Venice:  A woman should never act bored during a blow job.  Oral sex is supposed to please a man.  Make sure when he looks down he is in complete awe by you.  A woman should take pride in how well she can make a man orgasm with her mouth.
Ryan:  The best blow job in the world is 10% technique, 90% enthusiasm. You can know nothing about sucking dick and give most men the best blow job they’ve ever had, simply by having enthusiasm.  If he sees you are having fun and enjoying his penis in your mouth, he will be putty in your hands.  And if you are lucky, he will leave his putty in your mouth.  Now imagine once you learn a thing or two and start flexing that 10% technique too!   “I do!”

Things a woman should never do during sex:   

Ryan:  A woman should never lift a man’s legs unless she is prepared to face his unknown.  Once she has decided to give him a rim job, never stop and make him feel like he did something wrong.  It’s his ass.   Pull up your big girl panties and go to town. Stopping to pull hair out of your teeth, stopping because you weren’t ready for his flavor, or just stopping because you changed your mind, is a good way to ruin the experience.  
Venice:  You never have to cross that rimming boundary if you are not comfortable.  However, you can prepare yourself and do a smell test without him ever knowing.  Oral sex, smelling his balls, feeling how hairy he is by running your hands down the crack of his ass, under his balls, and near his taint.  Once you make that judgement of how fresh he is, decide on your next move.  Don’t ruin his experience because you jumped into his man swamp without the proper scuba gear and an alligator spear.

Things a woman should never do during sex:   

Venice:  Women should never talk to a man’s body part as if it’s an adorable little child. “Come on, little guy! You can be the little engine that could…grow!” It’s not sexy or funny. In fact, it’s the equivalent of cold pool water.
Ryan:  Referring to our penises as “cute,” “little guy,” or any other adorable nickname that you would give a kitten or a cute little bunny is never a good thing.  We do not want to stand up with our swords out, and hear a woman say, “Oh my gosh, what a cute little thing you have!  I just want to pinch your penis right on it’s cheeks.”  No, never, stop.
Venice:  Oh my gosh, you are going to tickle torture me with that thing little guy!
Ryan:  Definitely not sexy.
Venice:  It looks like 3 little tiny balls!  
Ryan:  Wow.
Venice:  Is that a fidget spinner?!
Ryan:  Yea, you shouldn’t say any of this during sex you guys.
Venice:   What do you want me to do with two balls and your dick…juggle?  Do I look like a clown to you?   Alexa, play circus theme music.   
*cue circus theme*
Ryan:  You have really been saving these things up huh?
Venice:  Yea, pretty much.  I never get a chance to use them, so I am loaded.

Things a woman should never do during sex:   

Ryan:  Never ask a man that is already pounding your vagina to “go deeper.”  I mean, I get it, you want to feel a man lean his hips so far inside of you that he is trying to break his back just to crawl up inside you.  However, sometimes when we are trying to bottom out and we really can’t do much more, hearing “Go deeper!” can mess with our minds and moods.  I mean, “go harder,” “go faster,” “go slower,” or just “go go go go gadget dick me down until my pussy is bleeding and I can’t walk for days”, is okay.  But going deeper?   Trust me, we are as deep as we can get ladies.
Venice:  This one is hard to control because sometimes we really do want it deeper.  I understand though.  I mean, we have to be sensitive.  Sometimes our vaginas can be like a game of Minecraft I suppose.  Some guys just started the game and are still working with a wooden pickaxe.  They just don’t have the tools to break through that obsidian at the bottom to find our diamonds.   
Ryan:  Yea, ladies, you probably should use that reference Venice used above.  It definitely doesn’t make us feel better that we are being told we are losing at Minecraft because we only have a wooden pickaxe.  Hmph.

Things a woman should never do during sex:   

Ryan:  Let’s just throw a few of the more obvious things out:  Farting, burping, answering your phone or responding to a text, turning on the television, and especially don’t start channel surfing if the television is on, start talking about your work day, or falling asleep.
Venice:  Well you just ruined sex for about 90% of us.   I’m joking!  This is just a matter of being polite.  As mentioned earlier, show enthusiasm and let your man know that you are really in to him while he is inside of you.  Rule of thumb, give him your undivided attention while you are being intimate.  Everything else should be tuned out.

Syntribation – A Girls Naughty Secret

Syntribation InterrogationSyntribation – A Girls Naughty Secret

Syntribation [sin-tri-bey-shuh n]  Of a female, to masturbate by crossing the legs and rubbing her thighs together.  

Yes, it’s a real thing. Although I am sure men could do the same thing by simply tucking their penises between their legs, let’s be honest, men can masturbate on anything.  Boys, today is not your day.  Let’s talk about us and our secret masturbation habits

We can and do masturbate in public without anyone ever knowing.  Simply crossing our legs while wearing something slightly tight, and moving our feet and legs back and forth.  Silly guys, no, we don’t have to use the restroom.  We may not reach a full orgasm, although it’s definitely possible, but it does relax us. 

If you see a woman syntribating in public, it may very well be a way for her to calm her nerves, comfort herself, or just help pass time while bored.  And this is possible because stimulation of the vagina and nipples release oxytocin.  Oxytocin helps ease stress and social anxiety, as well as various other known positive effects with women.  Oxytocin is also currently being tested as an anti anxiety drug. So whether she knows it or not, she may be massaging herself with her thighs, as a natural means of making herself more comfortable in a social atmosphere.  And, it just feels good.

Here are a few techniques for the women readers of our blog.  If you are in a swivel chair, you can rock back and forth to create more friction in your thighs.  You also will want to kegel and squeeze your anus muscles to create a feeling of being penetrated.  This will also help tighten the walls of your vagina.  Bonus!

Depending on which foot you move, you will get variations in what you feel.  If you move the bottom leg, it helps with your kegels.  If you move the top leg, it gives direct stimulation to your clit and vagina.

Below I have added a syntribation video so you can get more clarification on the technique.  

Polite ladies always sit with their legs crossed huh?blood baths, blood bath, bathing in our body fluids, menstrual cycle bath

How To Make The Perfect Iced Coffee, Starbucks Style, Cheaper and Better with EXTRAS

How To Make The Perfect Iced Coffee

We are not paid for any of the links below, I am only putting links to save myself from adding descriptions.  I will list all the items needed to easily create your own $4 dollar a day Iced coffee, with a taste just as good as Starbucks.

Supplies and Ingredients:  

Vremi Cold Brew Iced Coffee Maker  $16.00
Coffee Cups $16.00for 50 cups/lids
Long Straws $10.00 for 500 Straws
Starbucks Pike Place Roast, Medium $8.00
Torani Sweetener Syrup $11.00 
Torani Syrup Pump $4.00
Torani White Chocolate $26.00 (optional, this is an expensive extra)
Creamer (Original Coffee-Mate Liquid Creamer) $6.00
Whip Cream (Grocery Store) $4.00

Total:  $75.00 ($101.00 if you want the White Chocolate)

The only thing you would have to buy normally is the Starbucks Medium Roast, Creamer, and Whip Cream.  We now recycled cups, so it’s possible the cups and straws (2 to 3 years) could last us a full year.   Drinking a cup of iced coffee a day before work, this will cost you about 10 dollars every 2 weeks if you make it yourself, without the loss of flavor.  And I mean that.  If we include weekends, 14 days x $4 per venti iced coffee, it would cost $56 dollars.  For Venice and I both?  $112 dollars just to get our morning goodness.

First, let’s talk about the Vremi Cold Brew Ice Coffee Maker.  This is as simple as it gets.  You can get any brand of Ice Coffee Maker you want, I got the cheapest one.  And the truth is, I found this item because I was looking for a perfect glass pitcher (that seals) that could hold my hot brewed coffee over night in the fridge.  Little did I know, this thing not only holds it over night, you can actually brew your ice coffee with it.  Yes, it tastes delicious, much better than hot brew to us!  Simply fill this thing up, leave space for you to insert the filter and coffee grounds, and put it in the fridge for 12-24 hours.  We tried 3 different styles of coffee and unfortunately, I learned that the brands matter.  It wasn’t until I found the Starbucks Pike Place Roast that I captured the taste I was looking for.  I know, I thought the same thing (link here), the brand doesn’t matter.  Boy was I wrong.  This coffee almost has a french press style taste to it because it releases a lot of fine grinds into the ice brew, and it tastes amazing.  My first concern was seeing if ice brewing somehow didn’t eliminate the bacteria in the coffee.  Maybe I am naive, but buying coffee from a store, then pouring cold water in it and drinking it seemed wrong to me.  I felt that somehow the heat killed all the bacteria and made the coffee safe to drink.  Read below:

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A Woman Never Forgets – Coffee Brands Do Taste Different

Years ago when Venice was buying various coffee makers and spending unnecessary money on different knick-knacks that make “great” coffee, I had to put my foot down.  Venice has a bad habit of obsessing on something for weeks, and then, well, letting it go.  Whether it be phone games, plants, growing plants from various vegetables, making coffee, building a floor mat in our bathroom made of rocks, or using a food dehydrator to make orange jerky.   Sometimes I have to put my foot down and say, “Listen, I can’t let you sit there and play Pot Farm every free hour of the day, I do not care that you just discovered a new strain of purple kush that you need to sell back for Pot Farm coins.” 

The following story is one of those times that I learned, “A Woman Never Forgets.”  

Venice came home from the grocery store with a large bag of coffee that said Starbucks on the front.  Back then I never had Starbucks. In fact, I thought anyone that did buy from Starbucks was a bit of a hipster.  Little did I know, a few years later I would be that hipster buying Starbucks iced coffee, and various collector mug.  I just wanted people to see  I was drinking Starbucks like, “Oh my God, he is drinking Starbucks yall, I am so jelly!” At the time of Venice’s coffee era though, I thought coffee was just coffee.  To me there was no difference between Folgers medium roast and Starbucks medium roast, other than hipsters buy the Starbucks brand because of the name.  I told Venice, please just buy Folgers or the store brand, it’s all the same.  She swore it wasn’t the same, but I didn’t listen. Although she disagreed, she did stop buying the Starbucks brand, and soon after the coffee era did end.  She no longer used the coffee maker and moved on to something else.

Q&A: Insecure in an Open Relationship

Open relationship problems.   

For years my (33M) wife (33F) and I have talked about an open relationship for her, due to my sexual performance issues. Well we officially started in February, but I’m terribly insecure about certain things.

I know most open relationships are sort of mutual. However, ours started out I guess in more of an unusual way.

My wife is very very sexual, like she’s the kind of woman who want sex 2-3 times a day. In fact, many times we’ve done it 2-3 times a day. Our record is 8 times on weekend.

However, while our libido’s do match, my wife isn’t sexually fulfilled for two reasons:

  1. My premature ejaculation problem

  2. My penis isn’t big enough for her (she’s a definite size queen, we’ve tried 9″ dildos and she not only takes them with ease, but loves it so much more).

For years, she’s asked if having a fuck buddy on the side would be wrong. I’ve always told her yes she can, but when it came down to it, she backed out. Saying, she wanted to be monogamous etc.

Well, oddly what changed her mind was a conversation she had with a guy who told her he had a similar problem with his wife (low sex drive in her case). And his wife allows him to ‘play’ on the side and it never affected their love etc.

So randomly one day while at work in Feb, I got a text from her saying.

“I thought about our sex plan…..I’m ready to do it, I can easily have sex without feelings, my main concern all a long was whether you’d be ok”.

So to ‘test’ whether I’d be ok.

She and I went to a club, the plan was I stay at the bar while she danced and got frisky with different guys.

Well, I didn’t experience any jealousy at all. In fact, it was quite hot!

So we went a long.

She has 3 regular sex partners aside from me, and she’s had a 4 random one night stands in the last 5-6 months.

I have had 2, both very attractive girls. BUT, neither as fun sexually as my wife. Oddly I did last way longer with them than my wife, unsure why.

What’s bothering me though, is that my wife is having wayyyyy more sex than I am. She hooks up with each of them at least once a week, obviously having sex a few times each time they hook up.

One is her former boss, a stereotypical big black guy. One is her dance partner (something I don’t like and I’ll explain) and the other is a body builder who works at the mall (chill guy, I like him the best as he always asks her if I’m ok with this and doesn’t try to push her too far).

Why am I insecure now?

  1. She admitted to me that all over them are far far better in bed

  2. The most orgasms she’s ever had with me in a day is 5, she had 17 with her former boss and routinely has at least 3 each time

  3. During sex with me (which is more frequent now), she’ll tell me stories of things she does with them. Apparently, she’s far far more daring and exhibitionist with them. Especially with her former boss. I knew of things she did as she would tell me, but during sex she’d tell me little details that bother me a lot. Such as, how he chooses very slutty outfits for her to wear while with him in public. That pissed me off because for years I’ve tried and encouraged her and she was always too shy.

  4. She tells me a lot during sex how much their big bodies and cocks turn her on.

  5. I was fine with her dance partner and her hooking up. But I went to one of their Latin nights socials to spy on her a bit. I honestly, thought, like she said at first…that she’d be discreet. However, she was FAR from discreet. When dancing kizomba, they took it to another level and were basically dry humping on the dance floor. He gets very touchy with her, hand on her ass which almost no one else except a few married couples were doing. I confronted her and she admitted that yes, he sometimes gets a little too touchy in class but to her, it didn’t seem too inappropriate. But she did say, she’ll tell him about the hand on her butt issue.

So now, while I do like the fact that she’s getting sexually fulfilled and otherwise our open relationship is working well. She never hides stuff intentionally and we’re having a lot more sex too. Plus, I got to experience 2 other women, both of whom were very attractive.

I don’t want to stop her, but I don’t want to feel like such a shitty lover. I know, honestly I am at least for her.

Does it get easier?

Venice’s response:
I can make my answer short and sweet.  This is not going to get easier for you when the reasoning behind your open relationship is your penis isn’t big enough for her and you do not please her in bed.

Ryan’s response:
So you are more upset about him putting his hand on her butt while they dance and not him putting his penis inside her at home?   As most of our readers know, we are in an open relationship where we play with other women, as long as Venice and I are together.  However, none of these women fill a void that Venice lacks.  In fact, I end up loving my wife more after experiences because the women can’t provide me what she does:  Love, good sex, proper hygiene, and various other things. If I felt jealousy or I felt she wanted to be with other women because I didn’t give her oral sex properly, that would be a huge problem.  If she wanted to be with other women and use bigger strap-ons, because my penis wasn’t big enough.  I would not be okay with this either.  I will save any further criticisms to your situation because I admit I lack understanding.  I’d say you are in an open relationship for all the wrong reasons.  It won’t get easier.

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