Sex Talk: I’d rather masturbate with my vibrator than have sex with my husband

Let’s Talk About Sex:  I’d rather masturbate with my vibrator than have sex with my husband.

Rather than questions, sometimes we see various comments and quotes that tend to spark other thoughts and ideas.  Sometimes peoples’ thoughts or attitudes towards sex can lead to interesting sexual discussions.  So let’s talk about sex…

My significant other (20 year old male) and I (19 year old female) have been together for about 4 years and lately I’ve noticed I’d rather masturbate than have sex with him. Sex has become a chore, it’s always the same thing; always 2-3 minutes long, same moves, and same dirty talk (if there even is any) and never any orgasms for me. (I promise I’ve tried to get him to try different things and give him suggestions and it always goes back to the same mundane routine.) There are other issues too, like how he keeps track of how often we have sex to make sure we’re having enough and I feel guilty if I say no to him. These things have just sucked the life out of our sexual relationship and I’m starting to have a better relationship with my vibrator.

Here is an extremely common problem in relationships.  Men that count the amount of times that they have sex and women who are bored.  This is something we have dealt with in our own relationship as well.  This is also why we created Our Circle.   This is what happens when one partner finds ways to not have sex, while the other looks for opportunities.  

So let’s ask ourselves a few questions:

Do we find creative ways to hold each others’ hand?  Maybe try interlocking our fingers in reverse while trying to snap at the same time?  

Do we find creative ways to kiss?  Maybe lick each others eyeballs or nostril holes to add variety?

Do we find creative ways to sit on the couch together watching movies?   Maybe one of us will sit upside down while the other does cartwheels to make our time together more exciting?

Do you find creative new ways to tell him about your day?  Or talk to him?  Maybe just an alien abduction story to your work day?

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