Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Prior to our relationship, he had been in a committed relationship for basically all of his adult life, whereas I have been in numerous shorter-term relationships. He tells me ex was not adventurous in bed – basically only missionary sex, literally nothing else. I’m much more open minded and experienced with other types of sex and enjoy some kinkier things. However, I’ve never pushed any of this on him because he never seemed comfortable with it (for example, early on in the relationship, I pulled his hair during sex and he told me after not to be so rough) and I’m otherwise very happy with our sex life.
My man caught a nice buzz one night recently and a whole new side of him emerged. He threw me around, held me down, choked me – generally played the dominator role and I was REALLY into it. I came super fast. In this adventure, he discovered that he’s really into forcing me to deep throat him and making me gag on his dick – he had me do it for quite some time that night, and I didn’t mind it given how thrilling and sexy the whole evening was.
After all was said and done, we were both super happy that night. It honestly felt like we were brought closer together in this experience because he was finally comfortable enough with me/himself to explore a new side to sex. It was awesome.
However… since then, all he wants to do is throat fuck me. Every time we’ve had sex since, he’s forced me to do it. I’ve played along so far because I don’t want to discourage him, but I really don’t enjoy having this done to me all of the time. I told him the night that it first happened that it’s something I don’t mind mixing into our sexual routines as long as we still do some of the other things we like as well – but he was still pretty drunk at that point, so maybe he doesn’t recall that caveat. I don’t know.
My question – when do I say something again? I feel like I should just play the supportive girlfriend role for a little while so he can keep building his confidence up, but I literally couldn’t even get wet last night because choking on his dick was something I was just NOT in the mood for, but it happened.
I would hate to see my boyfriend lose this newfound confidence because I handle this poorly.
Venice’s response to throat fuck
Great question, easy answer. Tell him, in a non sexual setting, that you are not interested in getting your tonsils beat up and stabbed each time you guys have sex. Let him know that although you love it, doing it each time takes away the thrill. Much like how he didn’t like missionary sex each time in his previous relationship, you don’t like being throat fucked each time. It becomes less sexy and spontaneous, and more of a routine. You don’t want your sex to become a routine. This shouldn’t be that hard to understand, especially since you are using an analogy that compares to how he felt about missionary sex.
Trust me on this, when your boyfriend was 16, missionary sex, or even thinking about missionary sex, wasn’t boring. Sex isn’t boring. A routine is. Do not make your sexual positions a routine.
Ryan’s response to throat fuck
I really doubt your boyfriend will lose his confidence because you don’t want to be throat fucked every time you have sex. Just let him know that it is sexy to change things up. One day it should be soft and sensual. The next day it should be quick and easy. The next day it could be throat fucking until you vomit all over his lap and finishing him with a hand job that uses your vomit as lube.