Q&A: I Got Drunk, Had Sex on my Period, and Said Too Much!? Did My Dirty Talk Go Too Far?

Q&A: I Got Drunk, Had Sex on my Period, and Said Too Much!? Did My Dirty Talk Go Too Far?

I am a 20 something female that went out with my boyfriend last night and got a bit too drunk. I was on my period so it was supposed to be just a casual night of hanging out.  However, when I drink I do get extra horny.  I remember blowing him in the parking lot and agreeing to go up to his place.

At  his place it went from me keeping my pants on sucking his dick, to me being stripped nude with my bloody pad on the floor getting my brains fucked out and bleeding all over him and his bed. 

Normally our dirty talk during sex is mostly:   I love you or I am yours.   Since I was drunk I said a bit more than I wanted to.

From what I recall the things I said were along the lines of, “Oh my God, you popping my cherry with your huge dick.  How am I losing my virginity again?!”  “Your cum turns me on. I want to swallow your cum.”    “The thought of you impregnating me turns me on.”   “I want to have your babies, make sandwiches for you barefoot, be fucked by you every day, and be your submissive for the rest of my life…”   

By the way, none of this fits my personality.  I am a more assertive person, yet conservative.   I do not want to be dominated nor do I want my boyfriend to make me his sex slave.  But for whatever reason, in the heat of the moment and drunk, I just let all my little girl quotes out and gave him the full kitchen sink.

We have talked about getting married so it’s not thaaat big of a deal. I remember he was enjoying it when we were doing it. But now that I remember that night I can’t help but be embarrassed for some reason. I mean I said I wanted to be barefoot and make sandwiches for you?? While we were having sex! I have no idea where did all that come from. He has been busy with work for now but I am dreading his phone call. I don’t feel like talking to him or meeting him for sometime now.

Venice’s response  to dirty talk too far

I’m going to be dead serious here.  What’s the problem? 

Dirty talk is mental porn for your partner, and something all women should learn to do.   If I ever write a book on giving a man perfect sex, it would include an entire chapter on talking dirty and saying all the things his brain thought about for the first 16 years of his life when he was alone in his room masturbating to all his little dirty secrets and fantasies.   Not only that, dirty talk is how you can introduce different kinks that you or him may want to try.   Because kinks can keep a relationship young and healthy.   Too this day, my husband and I still talk through things we have never thought about doing, simply by going into long conversations about sex and dirty talk.  What better way to break the ice or find out for yourself what type of thoughts turn you on?  But you don’t always have to practice what you speak, and if you are insecure about this, make sure you let your partner know, whatever you say during sex, is just fantasy.   Because you can give your partner threesomes, gang bangs, and every other possible scenario he has ever thought of, by simply talking dirty.   This goes both ways, you both can talk and turn each other on more than rubbing hot spots on your body or trying to find that sensitive spot behind his ear that gets him erect.  Your voice, your thoughts, your imagination, will turn him on just as much as anything you can do physically.  And the same goes for you.  You’ll find yourself more wet than you’ve been in your entire life while talking about things you thought were taboo and dirty.   

Now, your kink was about commitment and marriage.   Obviously this is something that turns you on right now.  You want a long term dick and he fucks you so good you would make him dinners for the rest of his life just to get that dick each night.  Awesome!   There is nothing to be ashamed about.  Just don’t forget that this type of dirty talk should progress throughout your relationship.  Never forget later, when you are married, that this type of communication helped open your relationship.  In fact, this dirty talk may lead to you actually getting married.  So later, remember that when you want to try new things.   Or remember that when he may want to try new things.   Dirty talk is the best way to introduce these new ideas that “embarrass” us when we aren’t drunk or horny.  It’s okay.

Ryan’s response to dirty talk too far

There is nothing wrong with dirty talk, especially any of the examples you gave.  He probably feels the same way as you since it probably wasn’t his intentions to fuck you while you were on your period.  That’s probably equally as humbling as all the dirty talk you gave him.  There is nothing closer to marriage sex than throwing out all your inhibition and sticking your penis inside a woman while she bleeds all over you.  That’s not something you do with a casual girlfriend.   

You both seemed to be really horny and caught up in the moment.  This isn’t something to be embarrassed about, it’s what will make the best sexual experiences of your life. Embrace this drunk, wild, uninhibited version of yourself.   Rather than being ashamed, open a healthy line of communication and ask him what he felt about the dirty talk last night.  There is nothing wrong with talking kinky, even to the extreme of marriage talk, as long as you both know it’s just dirty talk.  Some women have kinks and talk dirty about how big their partners dick is during sex, even if it isn’t big.  Some women have have humiliation/cuckold kinks and will tell their man his penis is tiny (even if he is normal sized), and some women like the idea of being fucked so good that it makes you want to marry the person.  It’s the ultimate compliment, but make sure your partner understands it’s just your extreme way of making the experience more intense for you. 

Q&A: How to respond when women tell me they squirt when I am not into squirting?

Q&A: How to respond when women tell me they squirt when I am not into squirting?

20 years ago, I wasn’t even aware of this. Never heard of it.  Obviously, it’s become a very popular thing in porn and real life.  I was in a relationship for the last two years. It’s over, and I’m single. Back in the saddle, meeting women again, and ALMOST ALL OF THEM TALK ABOUT SQUIRTING. They say they can squirt, they do squirt, etc. I’m not sure if it’s to turn me on, or just a fair warning. Both?

Okay. I’m an adult. I can deal with lots of things. I’m usually very good at talking things through.  But I don’t even know what to say. If a woman can squirt, and is telling me because she thinks I’m into it, it makes sense to just share that I’m not into it, right?  But if it’s somewhat involuntary, then saying I’m not into it might make her feel ashamed or unwanted.

Honestly, I don’t know what to say without making a thing out of it. Any helpful hints?

Venice’s response to women squirting

I have only squirted a few times in my life and they were totally involuntary.   So I do not really mention it to other women I am with because I’d have no control over it regardless.  If they know the secret pressure points, then they know exactly what they are getting into when they are doing their jedi mind tricks inside of me!

As far as other women telling me they squirt, I am not picky about these types of things and usually take a backseat to how Ryan feels.  I’d probably be shocked and flattered it if happened with a woman I was fingering or eating out.  This question is good though because I know Ryan has the same feelings towards squirting as you. 

We did have a woman tell us she squirted and was proud she could finally feel free about her body and let things happen naturally.  She openly said her previous relationships her men were closed minded about it.   Ryan pretty quickly said to her that he definitely wasn’t into that type of thing either, especially with someone new.    Probably not the best response, but sometimes being communicative can be harsh.  And he really isn’t into it.  

Luckily, due to our communication, we’ve managed to not have any “accidents.”   That may be because we didn’t excite them enough, or the penetrative part of sex wasn’t long or rough enough.  Admittedly in all our experiences with women we have never been big on penetration.  Usually we are more focused on oral sex, toys, and reaching orgasms without penetration.  Or, a lot of times women can control their squirting and tend to squirt when they know it excites their partner.   They may be feeling you out to see if you are into it, because if you are, they will wet your sheets up to turn you on.  If you are not, they will keep that trick on the backburner until you are ready.

Ryan’s response to women squirting

Firstly, remember our perspective is from a couple that opens our bedroom to other women.  I am not a single guy on the dating scene looking to find someone to hook up with.   But the new phenomenon of women who can squirt has been equally noticed.  With porn and even live cam chats having goals such as, “I will squirt at 100 tokens,” I assume women think this is something most men enjoy.   As Venice said, personally I am not big on squirting.  With her, of course I love it.  But that’s because she is my wife and someone I have been with for 25 years.  Nothing she does can gross me out.  But with someone new, that we are hanging out with, I’m definitely not into being squirted on.    

In your situation, I’d let the person know that squirting really isn’t my thing and if she can control it, try not to squirt.  I understand that this can be a total turn of or even offend a woman that can’t control it, but I am equally offended by being pissed on for fun when a woman can control it.  But don’t attack me yet!  I am not saying that all squirting is urine, but when a woman can control it and it’s something she does to spice things up, then most definitely I am saying that would be urine.  And with someone new to our bedroom, I am not into that.  Much like I can assume they would not want me to urinate on them for fun during oral sex.  Or urinate inside them during sex to turn my condom into a huge water balloon that randomly pops after it gets too full (although that possibly could feel great?!?).  

 

Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?

 

Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Prior to our relationship, he had been in a committed relationship for basically all of his adult life, whereas I have been in numerous shorter-term relationships. He tells me ex was not adventurous in bed – basically only missionary sex, literally nothing else. I’m much more open minded and experienced with other types of sex and enjoy some kinkier things. However, I’ve never pushed any of this on him because he never seemed comfortable with it (for example, early on in the relationship, I pulled his hair during sex and he told me after not to be so rough) and I’m otherwise very happy with our sex life.

My man caught a nice buzz one night recently and a whole new side of him emerged. He threw me around, held me down, choked me – generally played the dominator role and I was REALLY into it. I came super fast. In this adventure, he discovered that he’s really into forcing me to deep throat him and making me gag on his dick – he had me do it for quite some time that night, and I didn’t mind it given how thrilling and sexy the whole evening was.

After all was said and done, we were both super happy that night. It honestly felt like we were brought closer together in this experience because he was finally comfortable enough with me/himself to explore a new side to sex. It was awesome.

However… since then, all he wants to do is throat fuck me. Every time we’ve had sex since, he’s forced me to do it. I’ve played along so far because I don’t want to discourage him, but I really don’t enjoy having this done to me all of the time. I told him the night that it first happened that it’s something I don’t mind mixing into our sexual routines as long as we still do some of the other things we like as well – but he was still pretty drunk at that point, so maybe he doesn’t recall that caveat. I don’t know.

My question – when do I say something again? I feel like I should just play the supportive girlfriend role for a little while so he can keep building his confidence up, but I literally couldn’t even get wet last night because choking on his dick was something I was just NOT in the mood for, but it happened.

I would hate to see my boyfriend lose this newfound confidence because I handle this poorly.

Venice’s response to throat fuck

Great question, easy answer.  Tell him, in a non sexual setting, that you are not interested in getting your tonsils beat up and stabbed each time you guys have sex.  Let him know that although you love it, doing it each time takes away the thrill.  Much like how he didn’t like missionary sex each time in his previous relationship, you don’t like being throat fucked each time.  It becomes less sexy and spontaneous, and more of a routine.   You don’t want your sex to become a routine.  This shouldn’t be that hard to understand, especially since you are using an analogy that compares to how he felt about missionary sex.

Trust me on this, when your boyfriend was 16, missionary sex, or even thinking about missionary sex, wasn’t boring.  Sex isn’t boring.  A routine is.   Do not make your sexual positions a routine.  

Good luck!

Ryan’s response to throat fuck

I really doubt your boyfriend will lose his confidence because you don’t want to be throat fucked every time you have sex.   Just let him know that it is sexy to change things up.  One day it should be soft and sensual.  The next day it should be quick and easy.  The next day it could be throat fucking until you vomit all over his lap and finishing him with a hand job that uses your vomit as lube.  

Q&A: Have you ever vomited due to deepthroating?

Have you ever vomited due to deepthroating? Sucking dick.

I’ve never been able to deep throat very well but obviously that’s something that guys like and something I’d like to be able to do. I live with my long term bf and with both of us being on antidepressants, our sex drives are quite calm. That being said, when we do get intimate I want it to be great for him. Anyways, I decided to push myself for the deep throat during foreplay. I gagged but nothing happened so I kept going. Then I felt it start to come up. I could tell he was enjoying himself so I tried to swallow/push it back down but NOPE! Soon inside my mouth was an erect dick surrounded by vomit (I’m so sorry, I know this is gross). I pulled my mouth off and rushed to the bathroom and he followed me. I went straight for the toilet and he leans over the shower and does the same thing… Blow job turned into puke fest. I was horrified. I ran back into the room to change the sheets while he cleaned off. I buried myself under the covers in embarrassment. He came back in the room and laid down and we didn’t say a word to each other.

Has anyone else ever vomited due to deepthroating? Questions about Sucking dick.

Venice’s response to vomit while sucking dick

Yes.  The first time this happened for me was with Ryan was on top of me face fucking me. We were a  bit tipsy.  Although I do not have much of a gag reflex, the combination of alcohol and his penis being shoved down in my throat, caused me to puke.  He pulled out and it went all over my face and the bed. Unlike you, rather than running to the bathroom, he held me down and shoved his dick back in my mouth.  I felt his crouch and balls slapping against my face with my own puke.  It didn’t take long for him to cum after this because the idea got him extra excited and aggressive.  He pulled out and came all over my face and puke.

Because of that experience, for years, Ryan would hold my head down, try to make me gag, and say to me while sucking his dick, “puke on it and I will stroke myself in it until I cum.” I just could never puke. Well last week we were both persistent and decided we weren’t stopping until he had vomit on him. He held my head down until I had no choice but to gag.  The intense gagging causes tears to run down my face, which only excited Ryan more.  I was persistent and really had to force myself to puke.  The cool thing was, once it started, it doesn’t stop. The other cool thing was, it was more like clear slick frothy puke, not like beef stew or anything. I drank a lot of water prior.  Either way, I did puke and watched him stroked himself in it.  After I puked once, I knew I would keep puking if he tried to force my head down onto his dick.  The smell, the idea of sucking on my own puke, and my gag reflex being totally activated.  Ryan didn’t care. Although we role play a lot and we have our safety word, I actually was a bit scared and said “I can’t do this any more.”  Not my safety word, but I remember feeling scared of the puking feeling.  The look in my eyes only turned him on more and he grabbed my head and shoved me all the way down on him again.  I didn’t really fight, so he used my hair to pull me up and down on his dick. I instantly puked again.  I would try to pull away, put he’d force me to puke in his lap then immediately shove me back down on his dick, controlling my movements by holding on to my hair.  I kept puking all over his lap. Every now and then I would force myself away, crying.  The tears are a natural reaction to puking, so I couldn’t help it.  He would look at me stroking his dick in my fluids.  He let go of himself and asked me to stroke his dick for him.  So I started stroking him with two hands while he leaned back focusing on trying to cum.  His dick and balls felt so wet, almost like trying to hold a large fish.  As I saw his body tense up, I knew he was going to cum.  He grabbed my head one last time and shoved me all the way down on his dick.  My mouth was against his hairy wet crotch.  I could feel his dick twitching in my throat and I knew no matter what I couldn’t come up until he was done.  I was slightly gagging, and each time the air in my throat was able to squeeze around his dick  and out of my mouth, I watched the vomit in his lap bubble from my breath.  He finally let go of my head and I was able to come up off his dick.  He looked at me and told me to swallow.  I already had.  

Although your experience was horrible for you, it is on some couples bucket lists. It’s not the end of the world, and the truth is, that moment will be on both of your minds forever. You can make it an embarrassing thing, or embrace the idea that you care so much for your boyfriend that you’d do anything for him, including throwing up on his dick because you wanted it down your throat. Its equivalent to a man looking at your ass and saying “I’d like to sniff her ass and be her panties for a day.” Yea, that would be gross right? Being our panties for a day?  Well, seeing his dick and saying, “I want to suck that dick until it makes me puke.” You must really admire him and his dick.  

Ryan’s response to vomit while sucking dick

Congratulations.  Sex is scary, dirty, and gross if you focus on what is actually happening.  The fluids, the squirting, the saliva, the sweat, the cum, sometimes the blood, and yes, even vomit.  Two people exploring everything their bodies can do to one another is an amazing feeling.  On another note, I do remember Venice learning how to deep throat.  There were multiple sessions where she would try, eyes would water, and she would get “sensitive’ and gag non stop.  The more she tried in that session, the easier she would gag and nearly vomit.  We’d stop and try the next day.  You sound like an amazing woman that is willing to push yourself to learn to control your gag reflex.  Puking happens, don’t let that stop you from learning to please your man better than any woman would ever be able to.  Being on the receiving end of a deep throat, is one of the greatest feelings on earth.

Deepthroating: My Introduction

 
Deepthroat
Yummy banana.
What is deepthroating?
My definition of “Deepthroating” is taking a dick past the soft palate in your mouth and sliding it down into your throat.

 

My First (Real) Deepthroat
 The first time I heard about deepthroating was from a girlfriend of mine in high school. Not only did I hear about it, but they shared a video of her performing the act.  I can remember thinking that her boyfriend’s penis was small, but they both seemed happy.  And I admit, to my young eyes her technique was amazing.  She could take his penis and put it all in her mouth, and then lick his balls (see article: “Oral Techniques“). Although she bragged about her deepthroat prowess, in my mind I called it “deep mouthing.”  By the looks of it, I doubt his penis was even hitting the back of her mouth.  When I met my husband, Ryan, I guess I was a bit cocky. Maybe I was competitive with my girlfriends but that old video stuck in my mind and I knew I could do it better than my friend.  I was going to take all of him easy, I didn’t care he was 6’4 and I was just a little Filipino girl.   And then I realized, all men aren’t built the same.  I tried to take Ryan’s longer, fatter dick deep in my throat, and almost gagged immediately. His head hit my soft palate and my lips were only at the edge of his circumcision scar, which was not even a third of the way down. Ryan would grind his hips into my mouth, but his dick would just bend and I would eventually gag and switch to only sucking and kissing on the tip of his penis. Although at the time I didn’t realize I wasn’t deepthroating him (it felt deep), I just figured I was deepthroating as much as I could. If Ryan asked me to deepthroat, I would stick his dick back as far as I could in my mouth and press it hard against the back of my tongue and soft palate. The pressure from my tongue (coupled with my panic of choking/gagging) kept my throat closed and his dick from going down any further. I wasn’t doing it on purpose; it was an instinct to keep me from feeling like I was going to choke. After I’d press for a few seconds, I would gag and Ryan would give me positive reinforcement by saying, “Good girl.” I was naïve to believe that deepthroating just meant putting as much of the dick in your mouth as possible, but my husband was happy I was at least trying and I just felt his penis was too big.

 

What is a true deepthroat?
You have the hard palate and the soft palate.  It takes a little bit of coaxing to get your man’s dick past the soft palate because you’re not used to having something so big and wide in your throat.  You have to remind yourself that you will not choke on it; you can lift up or pull away if you “feel” you are in danger.  Additionally, if the dick is really in your throat you will NOT be able to breathe.  If you can breathe, you’re doing it wrong.  A true deepthroat will cover your entire throat and prevent air from going in or out.  I was intimidated at first because my husband’s dick circumference is nearly 6” around and during the first few days of learning, it was like a bee stung me in my neck and my throat was closing up.

When my husband asked if I was willing to learn how to really deepthroat, I was down for the challenge.  And yes, there was a lot of watery eyes, coughing, and gagging at first, but only because I didn’t know the proper techniques or that there were even techniques to learn.  I thought it was as simple as swallowing or eating.  But it truly is an art.  I tried to look it up online, but I didn’t get too much help.  I knew then I was going to have to learn by hands-on experiences.  Quitting was not an option.

Continued: My Experience Learning To Deepthroat

2012