Analingus Is A Normal Part of Oral Sex For A Man and Woman

AnalingusAnalingus is a normal part of oral sex for a man and woman. So what exactly is anilingus?  

Anilingus / analingus is the oral and anal sex act in which a person stimulates the anus of another by using the mouth, including lips, tongue, or teeth. It is also called anal–oral contact and anal–oral sex; colloquial names include rimming and rim job. It may be performed by and on persons of any sexual orientation for pleasure or as a form of erotic humiliation.

Analingus Tip 1: Keep your sphincter and taint clean at all times.  Rather than using toilet paper to wipe, hop in the shower and clean thoroughly after using the bathroom.  This only takes a few minutes and truthfully, toilet paper doesn’t clean the ass, and definitely doesn’t clean the bacteria off your ass cheeks from the toilet seat.  One bad experience below can last a lifetime.  Hygiene is the most important part of a healthy “oral sex life”.     

Analingus is so much a part of oral sex that if you do not let your tongue slide down to his/her sphincter, you aren’t doing it right!  This idea is hard to accept for some men/women, because they think it’s gross or crossing a moral line.  Much like when boys sit around the locker room at 13 and think it’s gross to eat a woman’s vagina, or girls vow they will never suck on that weird-looking phallus that hangs between a man’s legs.  Sexual maturity and being with a partner you know is clean, you want to please, and you understand that the anal area on the human body is one of our first erogenous zones.  Now, I am not saying men/women should perform analingus on a one night stand or someone they just met, but there are men/women that will.  And these are the men/women that leave a lasting impression.  

A man's balls and penis hang and touch his ass area all day.The real question is, if you are giving a man a blow job that you feel is unclean an inch away from his balls, why give him a blow job in the first place?  I took this picture of Ryan one morning because I loved the way his body and penis looked when I first woke him up.  In hindsight, this photo is a good example of how a man’s anatomy hangs naturally.  As you can see, his balls and penis rest near his ass area.  Do I consider his penis or balls “tainted” (pun intended) because they touch his ass throughout the day?  Of course not!  I love it.  Thankfully Ryan is extremely self-conscious about his body and likes to keep himself shaved and clean, especially if I am about to give him oral sex.  And not just his balls and penis, but also his ass. 

Analingus Tip 2:  If you want to enjoy analingus, groom your crotch, taint, and ass area. This goes for the ladies and men.  If you want to send out your ass bat signal to your significant other, you will need to shave your ass area, specifically around your ass hole.  Although this blog is pro analingus, it is also pro grooming and taking care of yourself.   Ladies, as a bisexual woman, I am not coming near your ass hole if it isn’t shaved.  If you enjoy hair or have a hair kink, the make sure to shampoo, shampoo, and wash your areas thoroughly to keep it enjoyable to your partner.

With a woman, the distance between the ass and her vagina hole is maybe a half-inch.  If you think that half-inch of taint is protecting your mouth from her ass, you’re mistaken.  

Below we have quoted an article that has some good information regarding the history of analingus in our pop culture.  There is also talk about analingus with men is seen as a homosexual act.  That is the most ridiculous idea I have ever read. I have never seen a woman eating a man’s ass and thought even a slight homo-erotic thought.  Where do these crazy ideas come from?


With anilingus currently in so many editorial spreads and on the tip of so many tongues, it bears noting that Mozart wrote a song about eating ass. Titled “Leck mich im Arsch,” which literally translates to “Lick me in the ass,” it’s the sort of song that might be referred to as a “bawdy ode” or a “ribald verse,” and consists almost solely of the repeated request that we all get real familiar with the business end of Mozart’s anus. The music is by lesser-known Czech composer Wenzel Trnka von Krzowitz, but the lyrics are pure Mozart: “Lick my ass nicely / lick it nice and clean,” the canon jauntily proposes. “Come on, just try it / And lick, lick, lick!” Nearly 300 years before Desi buried three-quarters of his face in Marnie’s ass on this season’s premiere of “Girls,” Mozart was already foreshadowing our cultural embrace of anilingus, aka rimming, ass munching, salad tossing, and to bring things fully up-to-date, “eating cake.”

What took us so long? After hardly being spoken of publicly for the last few centuries—or the decade and a half since Charlotte confessed to performing it on “Sex and the City”—anilingus has finally became a featured player in pop culture. The most quoted lyric from Nicki Minaj’s hit “Anaconda” is about a dude who “tossed [her] salad like his name Romaine.” In an episode of “Broad City,” Ilana nonchalantly mentions that “anal is on the menu.” Trey Songz echoes the sentiment on the track “Cake,” a song all about eating “cake.”

Or how about that precious moment between two unidentified Detroit Lion fans who decided a public parking lot was the perfect venue for ass eating and were captured in a photo that went viral. And porn star Asa Akira declared in an interview that, “Culturally, ass is the new pussy.”

That says an awful lot, culturally, about what kind of ass play is and isn’t viewed as fully okay. Set aside, briefly, the pervasive hangups about butts that are seemingly separate from, but almost certainly subconsciously intertwined with gender and sexuality; that they’re dirty, smelly, and even sinful sites, making anilingus an act so deviant that even Alfred Kinsey never studied nor referred to it. If asses are just newfangled knottier vaginas, the act of having your ass licked is innately one of feminization. Through the lens of heteronormativity and patriarchy, anilingus is for everybody—that is, as long as the bodies being acted upon are female.

It’s this ultimately misogynist and homophobic take on rimming that sits in our collective cultural subconscious, and at the socialized root of so much straight male discomfort around being on the receiving end of a tongue up the bum. The idea that ass play somehow makes you gay, and not just a human who has a staggering number of nerve endings down there, is a notion that dies hard, yet it seems to be receding ever so slightly. A 2008 study of more than 1,400 heterosexual American men found that among those who had experienced heterosexual anal sex, giving and receiving anilingus was fairly commonplace. Twenty-four percent had performed anilingus on their female partners, while a healthy 15 percent had received it. (Another 24 percent had been anally fingered.) More recently, a 2012 Esquire poll of 500 men found that 12 percent secretly wished they were getting more anilingus. Even considering these numbers are likely underreported, as are nearly all admissions of cultural taboos, it suggests that straight men are getting their butts licked, or desperately hoping to get their butts licked, much more than we’ve been led to believe.

The shift, in both attitude and practice, is likely an outgrowth of the fact that anal sex has steadily been making inroads with heterosexuals over the last two decades. In 1992, a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study of people age 18 to 59 found that just 20 percent of women and 26 percent of men had tried anal sex. By 2005, those numbers had risen significantly: 35% of women and 40% of men between the ages of 25 and 44 said they’d had anal sex at least once. By the time the CDC again posed the question in 2006-2008 to 13,495 people between the ages of 15 and 44, heterosexual anal sex was more popular than ever. Forty-four percent of men and 39 percent of women had engaged in straight anal sex, a leap that seems nothing short of impressive. It follows that the ever-expanding perception of the anus as a sexual organ would manifest in multiple—and fluid—forms of butt play, from sticking to licking.

While there is some culturally ingrained ickiness over anilingus, particularly when performed on the male body, it’s undeniably waning. Last year alone, unisex guides to performing anilingus appeared in magazines as diverse as Ebony, Cosmopolitan and GQ. Butts were increasingly sought out in porn, with “big booty” the top gaining search term in the United States in 2014 (it rose by an astonishing 486 percent) according to a Pornhub survey. And with the media’s newfound discovery of butts as body parts deserving of attention, the societal prohibitions around anal play are likely to continue to wither.

The obvious conclusion of so much anus-focused pondering is that we’re entering an age of more sexual openness about butts, along with more degendered sex roles. The classic phrase about opinions and assholes (that everybody has one) means there’s the chance for anal play to someday become wholly divorced from notions of femininity or masculinity, straightness or gayness. Cast in this light, anilingus is an equal-opportunity sex act that implies neither domination nor submission, but a more general, power-balanced form of sexual pleasure. The primetime appearance of anilingus in the debut episode of Shonda Rhimes’s legal procedural “How to Get Away with Murder” is more than just a blow against homophobia. It’s fully transformed into a subversion of the sexual status quo that is roundly “sex-positive” and progressive from every angle.

And yet, in some ways, we’re merely coming full circle. The prevalence of depictions of both homosexual and heterosexual anal sex acts on pottery made by the ancient Japanese, Peruvians and Greeks suggests anilingus was probably part of the festivities. (There’s a reason “speaking Greek” is a euphemism for anal sex.) They were followed in time by Mozart, who saw fit to rewrite a song in order to make rimming its cheeky main focus. Taken with the latest round of nods to anal play in every media form, it’s almost as if anilingus is a time-honored tradition—one whose time has merely come again. – Source: Salon


Analingus Tip 3:  Keep an open mind.  In receiving or giving, it isn’t wrong, homosexual, bad, or something to be ashamed of (enjoying giving or receiving).   The ass is just another part of the body.  Believe it or not, the anus harbors less germs than the human mouth.  

First  things first, if you are with a man who runs around town and tells all your business, stay away from his ass.  He is immature and doesn’t deserve a mature blow job that includes analingus.  Truthfully, he doesn’t even deserve an awful blow job with teeth scraping against his mushroom head the entire time.  Because undoubtedly, the biggest worry for most people isn’t the act of analingus, it’s how people will look at them if they find out they did the deed.  If a man is mature and knows how to keep his sex life low-key, but you think his body is gross,  then don’t perform oral sex or have sex period.  Why would anyone have sex with someone they thought was gross?  My advice isn’t to go around and eat out as many asses as you can, but instead, if you are in a committed relationship and love a person, find his body sexy and attractive, clean and tasty, analingus is part of a normal relationship.   I can’t remember a time, not even when Ryan and I were just kids, that he didn’t lick my entire body during oral sex.  I don’t know oral sex without it and can’t imagine being satisfied if a man thought a half an inch away from my vagina, was off-limits and gross.  That would not sit well with me (pun intended).

Analingus Tip 4:  This one is directly from Madonna herself.  Like a virgin, tossed for the very first time. Like a virr-rrr-rrrr-gin, when my tongue licks your behind.”  Okay, maybe she didn’t say those exact words, but this picture is worth a 1000 more.  Bend him over, pull his undies down with your mouth, dive in and enjoy.  Time are changing ladies, don’t let someone spoil their man better than you can spoil yours!  If he is a good man, he deserves it.

Disclaimer:  We do not view analingus as gross in any way, but do write from the perspective of a couple that has been married for 20 years.  Our views on sexual acts come from the perspective of two people in love, knowing each others bodies and histories.   This is important.

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I value the detailed essays on this and other topics I’ve read recently. I somehow lost contact with you until very recently and am glad I’ve reconnected. Your blog has become very professional.

Should you bring this up to a partner, someone you’re dating or with repeatedly? Or just go for it if you know they’re clean?

Is there a chance of someone, physically, not enjoying it or the surprise being so unsettling they slap at you or something?

Good question, because we do not know the answer.

Since our perspective is based from long term relationships, communication and kinks should be established. I can’t imagine ever being slapped because you treat a person like a king/queen and lick their anus, but who knows. We’ve both had our asses licked by females during threesomes and we’ve never been asked. It’s organic and just happens during oral sex. I assume if neither of us wanted it, we would move in a way to let the person know, but why would we care if someone wanted to lick our asses? They know what they are doing.