A Real Couple Blogging About Sex, Life, and Everything In Between +

June 11, 2015

Random Moments – The Orgasm Drive-By

Blog, Life & Random Moments 1 Comment

3904335177_e1010679e2_zAfter work yesterday, Ryan and I went to the mall to look for a birthday present for his sister. “I think she needs a new wallet,” I told him. So we entered through Sears because it was the quickest way to get to Old Navy.

As we were walking through the ladies section, stopping and glancing at different outfits, Ryan says,”I’m so hungry.”  His face looked weary because he skipped lunch that day.

“Me too,” I replied.

He shuffled his feet, exaggerating his hunger even more. “I want Chinese food,” he suddenly said as we passed by the ladies shoes.”

“Yea! That sounds good!” I said. We hadn’t eaten Chinese food in a few weeks and it sounded like a good idea.

“Mmm…I’d really like Mongolian Chicken…onions steaming hot and soft, dripping with sauce…and Sesame Chicken…Oh, god!! Thinking about it makes me want to orgasm!” As he said the word “orgasm” we passed by a lady hidden behind the lingerie panties and lingerie section. She gave Ryan a shocked look like, “I knew I shouldn’t have worn my yoga pants today.”

I looked at Ryan, laughed and said, “She gave you that, quit looking at my nipples glare!”

“Oh yea, she’ll have a story for her husband tonight.”  Ryan continued, “Oh Em Geeeee George, this guy was peering at my from behind the panty rack just watching me hold these brown silk bras up to my bosoms.  I can tell he was like a savage animal ready to pounce on me before he yelled out to everyone that he was orgasming to me. I feel so violated, sugar muffins!”  Orgasm Drive-By Orgasm Drive-By Orgasm Drive-By

June 8, 2015

Your Self-Stock (part 2) – Older Women Fuck Better

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stock-market-womenOlder Women Fuck Better

In a previous blog Venice wrote about her self-stock (How My Self-Stock Changes Over The Years) and made a lot of great points.  She spoke about her younger days and how she viewed herself, to how she changed over the years.  This blog came to fruition during a car ride when I was trying to explain to her that a guy in my position has no desire to ever cheat.  She understood, but I wanted her to really understand, so I came up with a self stock analogy to try and better explain myself.

When I was a younger I used to watch television and for whatever reason, spot a random woman from say…a shampoo commercial.  My eyes would fixate on how she washed her hair in the shower, showing parts of her body, and I would fantasize about the different things we would do together…nude…while rubbing her breasts on my face.  I didn’t need direct contact, I just needed a thought of her.  Those thoughts turned into dirty ideas, those dirty ideas took a life of their own.  Without the woman ever knowing me, she took advantage of me…in so many good ways.  In my mind, I came up with various scenarios, and as soon as my young body would orgasm, I no longer thought of the woman taking a shower washing her hair again… or until next time I saw the commercial.

At that time in my life, it didn’t matter if you were a random woman on a commercial that would never say a word to me, or a girl in my class that thought I was cute. Any woman, regardless of her self-stock, was a possibility for me.

Continue Reading Your Self-Stock (part 2) – Older Women Fuck Better

June 4, 2015

Creampies, Swallowing, Snow Balling, and Cum Play

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creampieI’ve recently discovered the joys of creampies. Ok, not quite recently. I know what they are as I’ve seen them in a few porns. And to be honest, I thought it was pretty disgusting. But for those of you who aren’t aware of what a creampie is, lemme ‘splain. A cream pie is when a man ejaculates in a vagina and the semen seeps out. Similarly, an anal creampie is the same, only it comes out of her bootay. So when the semen comes out, it looks like, you guessed it, a creampie.

At first I really didn’t care for creampies. The 11-year-old me who just got through the mandatory Sex Ed week in grade school would to overthink it: “Oh my god, what if the porn star gets pregnant? Will she know which guy got her pregnant? How many guys will she have to do a paternity test for?” Yes, those were all thoughts that have actually gone through my mind as I jill off to creampie videos. Now, however, as a normal, everyday watcher of porn, it turns me on. I no longer see it as something perverted. And I definitely do not get worried about porn stars unintentionally becoming mothers. I still think of it as a random guy marking a nobody’s body as his territory, but now, creampies have a whole new different connotation.

And because I watch a lot of porn, I’ve become well-trained on how to spot a pre-emptive creampie. The guy will turn the chick so that she’s on all fours (because that’s the best camera angle to show a creampie). He will keep fucking her either in her ass of vagina, and will continue to do so until he cums. When he does, his balls will tighten up and his pace will quicken. He knows when he’s about to orgasm. Even though it feels the best to stick his dick all the way in her when he cums, he will refrain from doing this and cum as shallow as possible, even go so far as to pulling out all the way except for his head. This ensures that more of his semen will come out for the creampie. My favorite is when she pushes out the white ooze into a fancy little glass goblet (which the production assistant probably got from TJ Maxx because they’ve got fabulous deals; I don’t really care for the plastic ice cream bowls you get 4 for $1 at Wal-Mart during the summer months, that’s so tacky) and she drinks the semen. That takes swallowing to a whole new level and is up there with cum swapping, only you do it with yourself.

Continue Reading Creampies, Swallowing, Snow Balling, and Cum Play

June 1, 2015

Q&A – My Wife Hates Sex, Why Won’t She Just Give Me A Hall Pass?

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hall passMy wife has a very low sex drive and does not need or want sex. She refuses to give oral, claiming it causes lockjaw and is painful for her. So the only time we have sex is when she can’t put me off any longer and feels sorry for me, on average every 6 weeks or so.

The sex itself, to be honest, sucks. I won’t bore you with details, but it seems like she wants to make sure it’s as unpleasant for me as it apparently is for her.

I’m to the point where I hate to even ask. I’d rather take care of myself…

So I’ve often wondered, why won’t she just give me a hall pass?

Two things I must share about myself. First, I’m not a cheater. I’ve been ruthlessly faithful, even when sorely tempted by willing, attractive, available women in places my wife couldn’t possibly find out about.

Second, I identify as poly, and dabbled with multiple simultaneous relationships, as well as BDSM and swinging, too, with prior girlfriends. I told my wife all about this stuff before we married, because I didn’t want any secrets. She seemed intrigued, even turned on, by my “dark side.”

We went to some kinky parties and a swing club once (I watched her dance with and kiss a girl!), and talked about the possibility of having an open marriage. Ever the pragmatist, she said she was open to the possibilities, but if we had kids, she wouldn’t want to put them at risk. Whatever that means…

Naturally, we had kids shortly thereafter. All talk of anything out of the ordinary came to a screeching halt.

So here I am 11 years later, not getting my needs met.

I mean, she doesn’t want sex at all, but I want it as much as possible, up to 3 to 4 times a week.

Almost everything else about our marriage is tolerable, and if we worked at it, fixable. But I can’t for the life of me figure out a better solution for our sex life.

I’ve done it before, so I know I could handle a secondary, simultaneous relationship. It wouldn’t be “an affair” if everyone know what the deal was. (I wouldn’t want to do it unless everyone was on board.)

Sigh… I mean, really, what’s the big hangup!?

“If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.” I swear I would come back every night. I would love my wife SO MUCH MORE if she would just give me a little freedom!

If she asked me for this, I would grant it in a heartbeat! I would say, “PLEASE go fuck that guy’s brains out! Have a ball! Just be home by 11.”

I’d love to know what you and your readers’ opinions are on my situation.

Continue Reading Q&A – My Wife Hates Sex, Why Won’t She Just Give Me A Hall Pass?

May 28, 2015

How My Self-Stock Changes Over The Years (Part 1)

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sexy_poker1When I was four-years-old, a classmate and I got in front in front of our kindergarten class and sang a song for everyone. I wish I can tell you it was “Billie Jean” and that it ended a moonwalk. I wish I can tell you that we brought puppets and put on a cute little show. And I really wish I had brought in a photo album with pictures of me as a flower girl at my uncle’s wedding. But that would not be very exciting. We rehearsed for hours in my tiny room in my tiny apartment a neat little number about boyfriends. One hand on our hips while the other raised an index finger to the audience as we sang in unison: “And I’m gonna find me a boyfriend…a boyfriend…a boyfriend. And I’m gonna find me a boyfriend…today!” We thought we were hot shit, she and I. The next day, my teacher, who was friends with my mom, had an impromptu parent-teacher conference in our kitchen. “Come on, V…sing the song again!”

“NO!!” I screamed and stormed out. Why must they make a mockery of my search for true love???

As silly as that story is, the point is this: when you’re young and naive to the world, all you know is that you want something. You don’t know why, but because you’re impressionable, your instinct is to desire something that make other people happy. Why? Because I want to be happy, too! I just learned to spell my whole name and already I wanted to have a boyfriend. Thanks, “Three’s Company” and Shasta Cola for making me envious of things that I had no business envying.

As a child, you’re very basic in terms of prioritizing your needs versus your wants. Water, air, food, and shelter are all things that were readily available to you. Except during the summer I turned 18 and I had to fend for me and my brother by depleting the cans of corned beef in the garage, a time I fondly recall as “The Unintentional Corned Beef Diet Incident.” But that’s neither here nor there. For the most part, you’re given the basic necessities of life and don’t even give it a second thought as to where it comes from and if you’ll get it tomorrow or the next day. You’re completely oblivious. For me, I wanted a boyfriend. I didn’t care if he picked his boogers in class, I didn’t care if he threw sand in my hair during recess, and I didn’t care if he just could not sit in my carpet square like a good boy. I just wanted a boy to like me, to smile at me, to share his crayons with me if mine broke. It was that simple.

Continue Reading How My Self-Stock Changes Over The Years (Part 1)