Sexcapades – The Yellow Bathtub

bathtubSo I have decided to add a new series to our blog. Nothing crazy or elaborate, in fact, just the opposite.  A simple diary of something I want to remember for myself later.  I am not trying to win a Sex Pulitzer, impress anyone with my writing, or create a smut story so detailed you guys can jack and jill off and finish before the ending.  This is just a section for me to keep track of the small things we do and have done over the years.  If it’s something I am doing recently, I will add a date for my own personal reference.  Although we still only submit new blogs on Mondays and Thursdays, the dates will be accurate for when the sexcapade occurred.

August 10, 2015

For some reason I was browsing amazon and found a waterproof blanket.  This blanket is like $180.00 and a little too much for me to spend on an idea.  I text Venice and ask her if I bought a waterproof blanket, would she be interested in peeing on each other during sex, and having sex while soaked in urine.  Because we are both picky, usually if we do any type of urine play it’s in the bathroom.  This waterproof throw blanket could be a game changer.  Venice messages me back and lets me know she would do it with me if I wanted, but she didn’t think it was worth the $180.00 price tag.   I agreed, but still, thinking of bonding with her, soaked in urine, took over my brain and left me with OCD of being pissed on.  I sent more messages to Venice describing how the smell of her urine drives me wild.  In fact, when I used to masturbate to her panties while I was away in college, if I even got a slight hint of a urine smell, I would ejaculate immediately.  I think it’s the animal inside us as men, where we want to walk up behind a woman and sniff her vagina and ass raw, no filter.  She messages me back, not as interested as me, saying urine is an acquired taste.  I guess this is also a bit of instinct in a woman, as I have never seen any animal walk up to a male animal and smell his cock.  I also doubt Venice has ever smelled my boxers hoping for it to have a slight urine smell, and I know she she sucks my dick, she wants to smell fresh soap.  It’s what women want: cleanliness.

Anyway, after texting back and forth, I eventually come up with a plan for her to put me in the bathtub and piss all over me.  In my mind I just wanted her to piss in my mouth and all over my face and body.  After she was done pissing, I wanted to suck on her wet lips and stroke off to the smell of her urine.  After I thought about it more, I decided I also wanted to piss on my self while I eat out her wet vagina, just to mix our fluids together.  Then when I cum, I wanted to cum all over my stomach and chest.  I asked Venice if she would lick the cum off my body.  She texted back immediately and said, “Hell yea!”

My mind was set.  At that point, it was about 11:00 am, and I knew I wasn’t going to use the bathroom for the rest of the day.  I wanted my body to be soaked.

7:00 pm came around that night and Venice came in the room and asked me to follow her in the bathroom.  I took off my clothes, excited, already erect because I knew what was going to happen.  As I laid in the tub totally nude, with my head cocked up on the side, Venice climbed in after me and put her pussy in my face.  Unsure what was going to happen because it had been so long since she had peed on me, I got a bit nervous. She asked me to lick her dirty pussy, deep in her hole.  I obeyed her and licked deep in her hole, getting all her juices that she has been soaking in throughout the day.  She tasted and smelled amazing.  I don’t know how she does it, but she just never has an odor.  No urine smell, no must, no sweat, just the smell of our laundry softener from wearing her panties all day.  I love this about her.  I’m extremely picky with smells, but I do not mind a slight hint of urine.  Since she had no smell, I was excited to actually smell it as it poured out of her body.

She moved herself away from my face and sat in my lap.  She knew my dick was hard so she balanced herself for a moment and slowly worked my dick inside her body.  Immediately I thought she had changed her plans and instead she wanted to fuck me. She got her whole body down on my hard dick and put her mouth up to my ears and asked me to please piss inside her pussy and fill her up.  Although this drove me wild, it’s extremely hard to piss while inside a tight vagina with an erection.  After what seemed like a few minutes of sucking on her titties and listening to her whine for me to relax and fill her pussy up with my pee, I finally felt my body release its stream.  Venice couldn’t fill it, because she asked again to please piss inside her.  I stopped her and let her know, I was peeing.  I felt the pressure inside her body tighten, and slowly she lifted her body up.  My urine poured out of her vagina all over my stomach.  She then stood up, and put her pussy over my face, and drenched me in my own urine still pouring out of her pussy.  I held my hard dick in my hand, still pissing on the back of her ass and on my chest, while she stood over me dripping my own pee into my mouth.  I loved it.  It wasn’t what I really wanted, but it still turned me on.  I begged her to please let me have her piss.   She straddled my face and demanded I open my mouth.  I did as she said and watched her vagina start pouring out piss.  Within seconds my entire mouth was full.  I felt just like a porn star because I closed my mouth and all the urine poured out over my face down my body.  I opened my mouth again and she quickly filled my jaws up with her urine until I again had to close my mouth.  The smell was amazing, but the taste was potent.  The ammonia taste was hard to handle, so although I swallowed some,  I tried not to swallow too much.  I stroked my dick harder.  It felt like she peed on me for a minute straight, because she filled my mouth multiple times.  I grabbed her by the back of her ass and pulled her pussy to my mouth.  I wanted to suck on her dripping lips and smell her skin.  I loved it.  I couldn’t hold my cum back any longer and Venice was telling me to cum all over myself so she can eat my cum off me.  I obliged.  I came everywhere.  All over my stomach, my chest, and my hands.  Venice moaned as she watched and bent over to lick the cum off my body.  I asked her to share with me.

As she bent over to lick the cum off my body, she would come back up and spit in my mouth.  I loved the taste.  Cum, and piss from both of us.  The next time she went down to clean me up, she saved for herself.  She went back and forth, taking turns swallowing and spitting in my mouth until my body was clean of all my cum.  She kissed then me on the forehead and said, “Take a shower.”

Josh Duggar loves Ashley Madison

josh duggarSo. Josh Duggar had a paid Ashley Madison account. I’m not really surprised.

It’s so funny to see people get caught in the exact thing they preach against. Priests and young boys. Lance Armstrong and steroids. Josh Duggar, Executive Director of the Family Research Council, a conservative lobbying group and his Ashley Madison account.

For those of you who, like me, are unaware of what AshleyMadison.com is, it’s a Canadian-based online dating service and social networking service marketed to people who are married or in a committed relationship. Its slogan is “Life is short. Have an affair.” The name was coined after two popular female names: Ashley and Madison. Its membership includes 37 million people in 46 countries. The company announced plans to launch in Singapore in 2014, but Singapore’s Media Development Authority (MDA) stated that it will not allow Ashley Madison to operate in Singapore as “it promotes adultery and disregards family values.” Although you can’t stop someone who wants to have an affairs simply by prohibiting sites such as Ashley Madison, I commend Singapore’s MDA for showing the world that they don’t agree with it. Fuck yea, Singapore.

Back to Josh Douch-er. In May 2015, he was forced to resign as Executive Director after he was found to have molested five young girls, four of which were his own sisters, beginning in 2002. After this made headlines, the family went into damage control and stated that he had reformed and that the media were hell bend on “exploiting women.”

Honestly, I can’t see how his wife, Anna, with whom he has four kids, willingly chooses to stay with him. She reported knowing how he was, but because he’d “humbled himself before God and those whom he had offended,” she was able to accept his marriage proposal. If her husband’s leaked Ashley Madison account is not proof enough that he has no intention of being loyal to her or the vows he made to their marriage, then she’s in for the biggest disappointment of her life.

Here is what his $986..76 paid subscription to Ashley Madison was to find for him:

– Conventional sex
– Experimenting with sex toys
– One-night stands
– Open to experimentation
– Gentleness
– Good with your hands
– Sensual massage
– Extended foreplay/teasing
– Bubble bath for 2
– Likes to give oral sex
– Someone I can teach
– Someone who can teach me
– Kissing
– Cuddling & hugging
– Sharing fantasies
– Sex talk

Additionally, here were his turn-ons:

– A professional/well groomed
– Stylish/Classy
– Casual jeans/t-shirt type
– Muscular/fit body
– Petite figure
– Tall height
– Long hair
– Short hair
– Girl next door
– Naughty girl
– Sense of humor
– Imagination
– Creative and adventurous
– Relaxed and easy going
– Aggressive/take charge nature
– Confidence
– Discretion/secrecy
– A good listener
– Good personal hygiene
– Average sex drive
– Has a secret love nest
– Disease free
– Drug free
– Natural breasts

Oh, Josh. Your wife could be every single one of these on both these lists, if you give her a chance.

I have more respect for people who are open about enjoying being peed on and not caring what others think when they admit it than for people who act like the prude life, i.e. people who never miss church, who never lie, or who look down on people for living a “non-Christian life,” is the proper way to live. I have more respect for people who admit and acknowledge their own imperfections and non-traditional lifestyle, than for people who try so hard to be part of the small minority of non-sinners who think they’re better than everyone else because they’re guaranteed a spot in heaven. Does Josh Duggar believe he’s still going to heaven? I think he does. He doesn’t give a shit about the life he pretends to live on Earth as it goes against his moral upbringing. Why? Because his god is a forgiving one with endless re-start buttons.

Sexcapades – The Angry Face Fucker

angry sexSo I have decided to add a new series to our blog. Nothing crazy or elaborate, in fact, just the opposite.  A simple diary input of something I want to remember for myself later.  I am not trying to win a Sex Pulitzer, impress anyone with my writing, or create a smut story so detailed you guys can jack and jill off and finish before the ending.  This is just a section for me to keep track of the small things we do and have done over the years.  If it’s something I am doing recently, I will add a date for my own personal reference. Although we still only submit new blogs on Mondays and Thursdays, the dates will be accurate for when the sexcapade occurred.

August 16, 2015

Yesterday morning Venice and I weren’t in the best of moods.  It was early, we just had company leave after a week long stay, and we had things to do around the house.  We were both nude, getting ready to start our day.  Venice was being short and snappy, and I responded by asking her to leave me alone. Usually when I do this, it’s almost like a challenge for Venice to do everything but leave me alone.  Whether it be tickle me, force me to fuck her, cuddle, or she’ll just sit on my face nude and make me eat her out until we are both in better moods. Whatever, it’s all the same.

I was in bed with my face away from her and she was behind me.  She spooned up close to me and reached her hand around to grab my dick.  I had already prepared for this attack and tucked my balls and penis between my legs.  I had my thighs closed securely so no matter how much she dug with her hand, she wouldn’t be able to touch my penis…from that side at least.  However, from behind, unfortunately, she had total access to my package.  That wasn’t the point though, she didn’t want to touch it from behind, she wanted to get her way and force me to open up so she could touch my body.  She knew this would get me hard, and lead to her hopping on top of me or giving me a blow job and edging me out until I apologize…FOR NOTHING.

Continue Reading Sexcapades – The Angry Face Fucker

Pre-Ejaculation – It’s Not a Bad Thing

pre-mature ejaculationPre-Ejaculation – It’s Not a Bad Thing

Pre-ejaculation – Occurs when a man experiences orgasm and expels semen soon after sexual activity and with minimal penile stimulation.

I’ve been torn between the thought of pre-ejaculation. Is it bad when a guy pre-ejaculates?

When you first meet a man he talks about this shit like, “Giiiiirrrrl, I’m gonna fuck you all night long.” He likes to think of himself as an absolute machine of a man, like The Terminator. The chick gets real excited about it, as if she’s expecting him to have a big dick, too, and it’s gonna be a world-changing event and her toes will curl from just the mere thought of him. And it’s true – women think that good sex is equivalent to all-night sex. I can see how that can be mistaken. When you’re an inexperienced female lover, you’re led to believe through years of brainwashing (though media and of course through the false promises of an equally-inexperienced young man who claims he will rock your proverbial world) that pulling an all-nighter is all you’ll ever want or need, the type of sex where afterwards you go, “Wow, so that’s what its like being fucked by an actual man.” Obviously, when we are young, boys are far from satisfactory in bed and this is where pre-ejaculation gets a bad rap. Because of the stigma with cumming too soon or not being able to control your orgasm because you get too excited (not used to a woman’s body), most men develop this absolute idea that they will be the one person who can’t orgasm. Almost like this is a super power. “I can fuck you all night.”

Fast forward – after you’ve seen what a man can do in bed, after seeing him work your body over for years, the young girl in you dies and instead you want a man that knows how to touch your buttons and orgasms right before your body exhausts. Yes, guys – our bodies get exhausted from sex. Sex for too long makes me want to never have sex again. Not because I’m impatient, not because I don’t enjoy it, but because sex for long periods of time, especially as an adult when both people are mature can be extremely selfish. During sex, Ryan has explained to me that my body feels like a drug. Literally, him pistoning his dick gives his body the same reaction as feeling a rush of heroin in his body. He goes numb and everything in his world becomes perfect. Every bill becomes irrelevant. Drama at work is meaningless. Sex is an escape and a total high (and as women we love giving them this feeling). Ryan has explained to me that he can be in such a mental high that having an orgasm takes away this feeling. The orgasm is actually a bad thing, because it means the high is over. Every time we fuck, he says he just wants to fuck me forever. He means it. For him to ignore my body, ignore what I feel, ignore my body might not want to be fucked until I am raw and unable to walk the next day, is totally selfish. Don’t get me wrong, I get the feeling of high, I get the rush of the chemicals in my body that put me in this zombie-like state, but this is a feeling you have to control. There are times where we both zone out and the next day my pussy is so raw that I can’t even pee without squirming and feeling miserable. His dick has looked like someone rubbed sandpaper on it and washing off with soap makes him cringe. You have to be able to control the temptation to get high for too long. It is certainly okay to get caught up in the sexual high and ignore your partner. And having sex “for too long” is no longer a badge of honor, it’s more something men should be in control of to show they are in tune with their women. it’s something they should focus on not getting lost in because they love the feeling of sex more than the orgasm itself.

Continue Reading Pre-Ejaculation – It’s Not a Bad Thing

The Perfect Girlfriend – 7 Signs It Doesn’t Get Better

Someone on my Facebook liked this link and it showed up on my timeline. She has a good head on her shoulders and I respect a lot of the posts she likes. So it really bugged me to see this post that she liked because it’s entitled “7 Signs That It Doesn’t Get Better.”  For fun, Ryan and I have commented on each photo and title with our own opinion.  Enjoy.

gamer-girl#1 “Gamer girl – A gamer girl with a hot bod is a keeper.”

Venice: I will have to agree with this one only because relationships tend to be stronger when they have common hobbies, i.e. going to the gym, having the same collection, or gaming. However, note that there is a running joke about gamer girls being fat in the same sense that gamer guys are fat. Why? Probably because gaming in itself connotes a sedentary lifestyle. Which it does, but it’s just not as fun to be a hot gamer girl who is kickass at Dance Dance Revolution or Wii Fit. I like this picture – cute bootay, gamer, Call of Duty propped up nonchalantly in the background. However, she’s holding just the Wii remote controller when everybody knows you have to attach the nunchuk controller to play Call of Duty. Nice panties though.

Ryan: You definitely aren’t perfect if you are playing Call of Duty on the fucking Wii.  No offense, but does that even have multiplayer??!?!

movie-girl#2 “Let’s you pick the movie – A girlfriend who lets you pick the movie that you’ll see is priceless. Now at least you can see all your war movies and Vin Diesel action movies.”

Venice: No, I didn’t misspell “let’s.” First clue you can’t take lists like this seriously. Although I admit, this is something that a lot of good wives/girlfriends do – instead of complaining that they don’t want to watch a movie, they’ll say, “OK, dear. I will watch ‘Happy Gilmore’ with you for the fifth time this week.” She knows that she’s racking up points for him to go shoe shopping or to pick up eggs and coffee at the grocery store on the way home. Smart.

Ryan: That’s cool you have no opinion on what movie you want to watch, I guess.  But I’d rather watch something we both want to see.  I don’t think not having an opinion is perfect or what I prefer.  I at least want to know what you want to watch so I can laugh at your suggestion of a romantic movie while we are watching Die Hard 20.  There is nothing wrong with having a mind and preferences.

nothing-wrong-girl#3 “Means what she says – Girls who don’t play games, she’s the one”

Venice: This is the one I agree with the most. If you have something on your mind, you should always say so. Open communication, bottom line.

Ryan: In theory Venice sounds great here, but trust me, there are times when she shuts down and I cannot tell if she is upset or mad.  I agree with this meme totally.  Please just say it if you are upset about something!  Open communication, bottom line.

big-tits-girl#4 “BIG T1TS – 7 great qualities make her a CATCH, but BIG TITS makes her a winner.”

Venice: Let’s face it – this “meme” would be boring if it were just the words. So, bonus points for creativity to whoever the young man was that created this gem of a meme.

Ryan:  I didn’t even know Venice had titties when we met. I’m an eyes, lips, face, and personality type of guy.  I do like a nice ass.  I’m not mad at breasts, but they are the last thing I care about on a female.

no-kids-girl#5 “Hot, Single, No Kids – For some guys this is all that’s needed.

Venice: Guess what – the same thing goes for guys. What 18-year-old co-ed is out there saying, “I just left my parents’ home to start college. I want to go to clubs and have fun experien—ooh, who’s that guy with the sex dad-bod pushing the stroller?” No one, or at least close to no one. And this is the worse picture used, in my opinion. Hot? Sure. I can see the hotness in her if her mouth wasn’t wrapped around a stogie and holding an empty tumbler in her hand. Single? Maybe. No ring on her finger. No kids? I don’t know. Kind of hard to tell with the box of toys behind her plastic lawn chair.

Ryan:  Pretty much.

mine-girl#6 “Status Undefined – if she doesn’t blast STATUS IN A RELATIONSHIP all over Facebook, you’re one lucky guy.”

Venice: I’m not quite sure what this means: is it saying that he would rather not let her friends and family know that she’s in a relationship? Shouldn’t the guy question that, like she’s ashamed of him or that he’s not good enough to be dating her? I don’t think his fear of being in a relationship has anything to do with Facebook status. If she’s not proud to say she’s dating you, I wouldn’t call myself lucky to be you or lucky to date you.

Ryan: If she isn’t changing her Facebook status because of you, you didn’t lay the pipe right.  Fact.  You’re her side dude. The guy she isn’t quite sure she wants her friends to know she is banging.   If that’s your goal, to be her little side dude that she isn’t claiming, I guess you can be okay with her not changing her Facebook status because of you.   Number 6 sucks.

tampon-girl#7 “Doesn’t send you out for tampons – She’s independent and knows what embarrasses you. What else can you want.”

Venice: Don’t be so insecure about getting fucking tampons, young man. I can promise you the old lady ringing you up at the Piggly Wiggly is NOT giggling to herself and calling you someone’s little bitch. She’s probably praising you for taking one for the team (because your girlfriend certainly can’t leave the house, can she?) and risking ruining your reputation that you’ve build up in your head. Her independence is absolutely irrelevant. If you make your girlfriend leave the house with a wad of toilet paper between her legs, you’re a douche.

Ryan: This list must have been made by a 16 year old.  Who cares if she sends you out to get tampons? I used to send Venice out to get magnums, lube, and a pregnancy test once every few months, so if she returns the favor and has me go get tampons and stain remover, I am okay with that.

Venice: Alright, these are the signs in a woman that let you know that “it doesn’t get better.” High five to the boy who wrote these interesting little tidbits. I applaud the thought he put into it. I hope that instead of receiving author credits for this highly-informative editorial piece, he opted to receive Chuck E. Cheese tokens and a free kid’s meal at McDonald’s (his choice of nuggets or cheeseburger).