Cum Ice Cubes – Freezing his Semen and Taking Control

cum ice cubesCum Ice Cubes – Freezing His Semen So I Can Decide When I Want to Taste Him Or Have Him In My Body

When my husband and I first met, I just really enjoyed being around him: hearing his voice, feeling his presence, and just knowing he’s nearby. Before we moved in together, I told him that I found some of his hairs in my bed (clearly his arm or leg hairs) and I kept them in a big Easter egg that had candies in them at one point. It was about twice the size of my fist with a light pink bottom and clear top. I kept it on my nightstand so I could look at it whenever I wanted. Yes, I had pictures, but there was something about having an actual piece of him that comforted me. A picture is great, but it’s merely a duplicate of an original form, and something that I could make endless copies of. But the three hairs in my Easter egg were special: they came from the body of the man I love, his arms that held me, and his legs that wrapped around me. Not to mention they were next to me when I slept, which meant I was literally sleeping next to him. It was my little secret; and if anyone came into my room and saw the egg, they could easily glance over it and see “nothing.”

25 years later, I still have that same state of mind of wanting to keep my husband with, on, or in me at all times. Sometimes he’ll let me have one of his hoodies, which instantly becomes “my favorite” (even though it’s two sizes too big) and no one can ever use it. I may spray his cologne on that hoodie just to be completely enveloped. It’s comforting and I have a sense of being complete, as in “the opposite of being lost.” But now, it’s not just a hoodie or cologne – what I want now is his semen. I used to say that I wished there was a tube that went straight from his testicles to my stomach (or ass or vagina) so that I could continually keep absorbing him, i.e. absorb him just as fast as he could make it. Why do this? It’s an extension of the hairs in the Easter egg. It comforts me knowing that my body is absorbing his DNA at all times. I feel like if I committed a crime and they needed my DNA, it would show that I have male DNA mixed with my own! Yes, it does make me feel like a dirty girl on the inside, but more so, it’s the feeling of completion and him being with me at all times. That’s the goal.

However, to be honest, I didn’t always feel this way. I didn’t always have an infatuation with needing to have semen in me at all times. Although I didn’t have a need to swallow, I never thought it was gross. I didn’t have a need to have the cum in my body; now, I think it’s lame that a woman would spit or use toilet paper to wipe it off her body. Now, if it’s anywhere that’s not in my mouth, ass, or pussy, I tell my husband to use his dick as a spoon, scoop up the “spilled” cum, and feed me with it. If for any reason he wants to splash on my face, chest, ass, etc., he better use his dick to feed me. Over the years I’ve become a semen connoisseur. I can tell when he’s dehydrated, I can tell if he’s on antibiotics, I can tell if he hasn’t ejaculated in over 24 hours. Although I love the various tastes (bitter, “average”) and textures (“melted yogurt” or “clear mucus”), my favorite is when it’s thick, white, and flavorful, which is pretty much anything from 2.5 or higher on a scale of 0-5. As a woman married to her soulmate for over half her life, I don’t have any hesitation whatsoever in swallowing his cum. If there was ever any hesitation in my immature mind, it’s dead. Swallowing is a way to show my love and to show him that I love and accept everything about him; it makes me feel giddy inside and I love watching his face when I blow bubbles, gargle, then swallow!

The next logical step into ascending was to tell my husband that I wanted semen cubes. My initial thought was to have him ejaculate in a shot glass, I’d take a super tiny rubber spatula and put it into a small jar, and whenever I have my morning iced chai, I’d take a spoon and scrape a bit off the surface (think shaved ice) and put it into my tea. We tried having him ejaculate directly into a syringe and putting the contents into a silicone mold (pea-sized cubes). Next we tried cumming on Saran Wrap and putting them into the mold that way (like cake icing pastry bag). Finally, we settled on him ejaculating right onto the mold, which has been working pretty good. Ideally, it would be perfect to always have one ice cube in my tea every day, but my goal is to have one ice cube every day until I die. My husband said it was pretty extreme and borderline “disgusting” because it was so extreme, but he met me this way.

The best method of collecting his cum.

  1. Pinching the head.  Although are limited to the amount cum he can hold, it’s the best method of collection for us.   You get about as much cum as his urethra can hold, from his lower cock where his prostate releases to his glans.  If he is having sex, he can let his first few shots go inside me, then pull out and I will grab his head and hold it while telling him I am saving the rest for later.  We do this variation each time he cums now.
  2. Let go of the head and allows his cum to pour into a small ice tray.  We do this about twice a day. Because the amount is limited with this method, we decided for these cute small ice cubes that are perfect for 1 to 2 cubes each time.  Here is a link to a tray like ours, I am not affiliated nor do I get paid for this link: Example Ice Tray 
  3. Place the tray in the freezer or deep freezer.   
  4. After an hour, the semen will be totally frozen.  Do not keep the tray out in the air or collect the next load without first pushing the new frozen cubes into your air tight zip lock bag filled with your frozen in time moments.


As of now, I have a half gallon bag full of small cum cubes that I can have whenever I want. If I’m sick or if my husband is out of town, I can call him and tell him I’m sucking on one of my cum cubes and it instantly brings us together no matter what. If I get sick, I can use the cum cubes to wet my mouth, stay hydrated, while doing this intimate act when one of us can’t physically be intimate. And although it may seem morbid, as long as I have cum cubes, I will always have my husband with me, comforting me, inside of me, hugging me from the inside.

How I Use My Husband’s Cum Ice Cubes in my Sex Life

  • In the morning before I leave to work I can go in the freezer and put a cum ice cube in my mouth.  When I kiss my husband goodbye I will crunch the cube or show it to him in my mouth.  This gives me total control of when I swallow.  It also turns my husband on and keeps me on his mind.
  • If I am on my cycle I can now creampie myself prior to placing my tampon.  I will put a small cube between my lips and push it inside my body with my tampon insert.  
    • Do men want a woman who actually really love to be creampied and desires their man’s cum inside her body, or just theatrics during sex?   With cum ice cubes I can show my  husband my love for his semen is not theatrics.   And I have total control and do not have to show my love for his cum only during sex.
  • If my husband is away or I am home alone, I can use his fluids in solid form to give my body intense sensations.   He can give me goosebumps, make me tingle, and send chills down my spine.  The residue will not only will I have his fluids all over me, but I will be able to taste, feel, and rub my sensitive areas with him.   His semen, which I enjoyed my time collecting it, now has been reborn with me in total control, to become a physical toy for me to use and enjoy.
  • I can put 4 or 5 cubes inside my body, which is multiple cum shots saved, from various weeks, months, and maybe even years.   As it melts, I want to sit on my husband’s face and watch him stroke himself to his own creampies.  
    • If I am alone, I can use a dildo clone of his dick and fuck myself using his semen as lube.  Whether I call him or tell him later, this is real cum worship and we both love it.
    • You can also have sex and let him feel what it’s like to fuck you with a huge amount of cum inside your pussy.
      • To explain further; imagine the feeling of having cum from different time periods, different moods, some from hand jobs, some from blow jobs, some from sex, all cum shots that you helped collect after various intimate acts, all that energy frozen and captured, those memories, and having each cum shot in your body at one time, months or years later?  It’s almost like the idea of some women wanting multiple men cumming in them at once.  How about 1 man cumming in you, from different time periods, fill up your insides?
    • He can pull his dick out soaking wet with 4 or 5 different cumshots of his inside me and watch me clean it off his dick with my mouth.  What man wouldn’t love seeing this?
  • We can both eat a cube and make out with each other prior to sex.  Extremely intimate as you are savoring a previous moment in your sex life while preparing to make a new one.
  • I can rub him down with a cum cube and let it melt inside his ass.  He can feel his own creampie.  If I want to get real naughty I can grab my strap-on and use his cum as my lube.   

10 Extremely Kinky Ideas on How To Spice Up Your Sex Life

The following blog is not for the faint at heart.  It has extreme ideas for a couple to spice up their bedroom, and we aren’t Cosmopolitan.  If you are secure in your relationship, have good communication, and looking for ways to spice up your sex life, we have a few ideas for you.

  1. Face your fears.
  2. Try a new sex position like anal.
  3. Explore different areas in your house.
  4. Touch yourself in front of your partner.
  5. Add ass to the oral menu.
  6. Watch a dirty movie togeth….

Okay STOP.  No, this is not one of those lists.  When we say extreme ideas, we mean extreme ideas to spice up your sex life. 


Massage Sessions:

Long massages, from him or her, focused on talking about your dirtiest fantasies with each other while giving the massage. 

Here are a few ideas of things you can talk about:  An imaginary threesome, adding another man or woman to your bedroom, or talking about sexual experiences with ex girlfriends/boyfriends. You can also talk about how much you love each others’ bodies, how big the person’s penis is or how tight she is in detail, how much you love to swallow his cum, or drink her fluids.  You’d be surprised how many couples do not talk about this type of thing.  

A massage can be a great time to just open up and talk about your most hidden secret fantasies. If done right, it will be as open as you are with yourself when you masturbate alone, except  someone else is touching you.  And rather than thinking to yourself all your dirty thoughts, you are sharing with the other person.  It can be extremely intoxicating and fun.  

All these things can be extreme and exciting if you have an open mind.  For a man, while getting a massage, his mind seems to be receptive to various things that his sober (not high from the stimulation) mind may not be.  For that reason, make sure you understand aftercare and how to finish a session if your conversation gets too crazy.  For a woman, a massage can lead to things that have never happened before, such as squirting.  This is what happened for us.  It was a whole new experience and for the next few weeks it was all we talked about.

Go To A Swingers’ Club:

Despite what you may think, a swingers’ club is pretty much a sex club.  Sex happens, and it happens a lot.  This is because swingers’ clubs are filled with married couples that have sex with each other all the time and they aren’t at a swingers’ club to dance. Sex is no longer taboo to seasoned couples, so things tend to get a lot more dirty when they are inside a swingers’ club. Most couples are there because they want to either add a random person into their experience or they want to be watched by others. Could you think of something more spicy than 3 single guys masturbating near you while they watch you and your partner have sex?   This experience will spice things up in your bedroom for the rest of your life.  Once you enjoy the thrill of having a bunch of people watch you have sex, your sex naturally becomes much more passionate.

Visit a Sex Store:

You’re probably seeing this idea and immediately labeling this list as totally vanilla right?  Not so fast.  Going to a sex store, whether online or in person, can bring a whole new element into your bedroom.  My suggestion would be to buy a toy you are the most shocked by.  This is a good rule of thumb because it is an immediate way to open your mind.  Whether it be a large dildo, or something you had no idea they made.   Buy it.  Bring it into the bedroom and spice things up instantly.

Invite another person into your bedroom:

Threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes. This will spice up your bedroom like nothing else.  This idea is extremely kinky and we’ve always been open to the idea of hiring a professional if it’s legal in your area.  This is a great way to make sure there are no feelings attached, whether it be adding a woman, or finding male companions.  Bringing a third or forth person into your bedroom can bond a couple beyond comprehension.  If your communication is good, adding a third person is a great way to enjoy experiences together.  For us, our threesomes have only bonded us way beyond the vanilla years of our marriage.  

Buy A Sex Doll:

This is a bit of an investment and can be costly, but if the above idea of having a threesome is too much, adding a sex doll can nearly be the same.  Whether it be a female doll or a male doll (and maybe a transgender doll so both of you can enjoy the fantasy).  For us, this was the best way to test out how double penetration felt and how it felt to attempt to put two dicks into one vagina.  From the stretching, to the fantasy, to pretending this is an actual third person in the room, it is as close as it gets to breaking all the monogamous norms, yet staying totally monogamous.  Open your mind and do not view sex dolls as some perversion, but instead a tool where you can both enjoy a different body in the room without worrying about the emotional attachments, the insecurities of another actual person, and the various other issues that arise when you experiment with threesomes.

Try A Milking Table or Glory Hole:

As some of you may know, we have published an article on how to make your own milking table.  Whether it be a milking table or a glory hole, letting your partner enjoy random genitals and please them could really spice up your relationship.  Whether the man decides to watch, join in (if he is bi), or stand on the other side and enjoy the receiving as well.  A glory hole and milking table keeps you totally detached from the person on the other side, but you can still enjoy the thrills of touching a different body. You can also role play and blindfold your woman, use “spacers” to make your penis different sizes, and let your partner enjoy a glory hole, without actually adding another man.

Get a piercing together:

You’d be surprised how much a piercing can spice up your sex life. Most piercings also enhance sensations.  Do some research on various piercings and what they can change as far as how it can make sex better.  Mentally, her seeing her husband’s penis pierced can be a huge turn on.  And him seeing his wife’s nipples pierced can drive him wild. 

Get a Tattoo together:

Like I said, this list is about extreme ideas to spice up your sex life.  And if you want your lover to suck  your dick or eat you out like your body is theirs, put a tattoo on it.  For us, having a tattoo on Ryan’s penis with my name on it was the hottest thing I have ever seen.  To give me his prized position in that fashion, how can I not suck it with enthusiasm? Do you really think I would suck on his dick and not make love to it when it literally has my name on it?  That’s like Andy not taking care of his Woody in Toy Story, with his name on the bottom of his boot.  This has also helped with us having threesomes with other women.  When I watch women suck his dick or fuck him, it really is my dick,  just as much as his.  Because my name is on it.  And it turns me on like crazy.

Make Videos and Share Them On Social Media:

This is another form of exhibitionism and it can really spice things up.  Whether it be an adult content, a social media account, or even a sex blog, these types of things can really spice up your bedroom.  Having good sex just for yourself is one thing, but having good sex because a million eyes are watching you is a whole different sex life. We always say to each other, let’s fuck like the camera is on us.  Because that attitude leads to our best sex. You will also notice all your inboxes fill up with compliments or people wanting to join in.

Extreme Sexual ideas:

Ryan and I call the extreme things we do ascending. When we do things that we know most couples would never even think of trying, this is our relationship ascending. We have written various blogs on the extreme things we have tried, and at this point, I do not believe there is anything two people can do with each other that we haven’t tried.  From making semen ice cubes, to eating full meals off each others crotches, to bathing in my menstrual cycle, extreme sexual connections can obviously spice up your sex life.  Keep an open mind.

There are so many extreme ideas that can bond two people together.  If your sex life is to the point where you are ready to ascend to the next level, these are just a few extreme ideas that can spice up your sex life.  However, please be aware that you must have great communication within youmr relationship before you decide to do anything this extreme.  Please talk it through thoroughly with your partner and make sure you are on the same page.  We have been answering questions online for 20 years with different couples and almost 90% of the time our answer is always, “communicate.”   No matter if it be jealousy after a threesome, or buying large dildos.  It really comes down to talking things out with your partner prior to trying anything that is new to you both.  This is crucial.   Otherwise, enjoy our list! Nothing on this list we haven’t tried ourselves, so we are not pulling these out of thin air here.  Each extreme idea has definitely spiced things up in our sex life.


The Advantages of Couples Who Have Sex While Drunk

Sex While DrunkThe Advantages of Couples Who Have Sex While Drunk

There are a lot of articles online about the advantages of having sex while drunk, but most of them discuss the easing of sexual tension between people.  It’s known that alcohol lowers inhibitions and can help make easing into sex at the end of a date easier, or better.  It can also help with premature ejaculation, as you tend to focus less on getting your orgasm, and more on the experience.  As well as, alcohol seems to make the genitals a little less sensitive.  Our article will not go into that aspect.  I wanted to focus more on how alcohol can make sex better for a couple that is already committed and in a sexual relationship with each other.    

Let’s Get This Out of The Way First

There are obviously a lot of disadvantages to alcohol, specifically your health.  That’s why we stress drinking in moderation.  We also are a blog that focuses more on sex and life as a couple, not sex from a single person’s perspective.  Neither of us drank while single, as we were too young.  However, we have researched various articles that mention alcohol leads to some women regretting their decisions while drunk, lowering their standards of who they sleep with, and that being tipsy makes it easier to be taken advantage of.  Not good.  Men on the other hand, just get a cool pair of beer goggles.  Either way, these disadvantages have nothing to do with our article, as we are talking about committed couples, alcohol, and better sex.  If my husband wants to wear beer goggles while fucking me, I’m okay with that.  After 25 years of marriage, I’ve learned beer goggles actually amplify all the positive things we see in each other, so it’s a good thing in a committed relationship!   


  • Whiskey Dick – Whiskey dick refers to a temporary condition where a person cannot get or maintain an adequate erection after consuming too much alcohol.
  • Whiskey Clit – Whisky Clit refers to a temporary condition where a female takes much longer to get off due to too much alcohol consumption.  My husband once went down on me for 3 hours before I had an orgasm.  Wait, is whiskey clit really a con?    It wasn’t a con for me!  


Sex While DrunkDrunk Sex – Enthusiasm

A lot of experienced couples call sex while being drunk, “porn sex.”   The reason?  Because sex while drunk usually turns out to be “extra.”  The enthusiasm is different.  That dick you have sucked on 1000 times seems to be a lot larger, a lot more tasty, and whatever comes out of it will be the best thing you’ve tasted in the last year.  Rather than going down on your partner and your mind wandering off wondering what you will be doing at work the following day, you are caught up in the moment and love having them in your mouth.  So much so, you go above and beyond to show the man you are with how much you enjoy his dick.  I’d even go as far as suggesting that a lot of women deep throat their men for the first time while being  a bit tipsy.  It makes you extremely experimental.   It also might be the first time you vomit all over his dick.  And that’s okay too.

Continue Reading The Advantages of Couples Who Have Sex While Drunk

Yes Men, Women Do Notice When You Glance At Our Breasts

Yes Men, Women Do Notice When You Glance At Our Breasts

For the record, Ryan and I used our own photos for this blog!  Humble brag / We notice you looking!

I remember when I was younger and one of my brothers friend’s came over to help with my computer.  I had just gotten out of the shower and was wearing a tank top with no bra.  As I walked into my room I saw my brother and my brother’s friend sitting near my computer working on it.  Well, my brother was…his friend couldn’t stop staring at my braless breast.  I noticed.  I shrugged it off and decided to mess with him since he was being a little pervert.  I walked over near the desk and leaned down near his face to point at something on my computer screen and asked, “Is this supposed to be there?”  Although I didn’t check, I assume this would have put my cleavage on full display for him, since he couldn’t keep his eyes off them from afar.  He blushed and tried his hardest to keep his eyes focus on me and my finger.  I laughed to myself and left the room.  

We notice fellas.  Some of us do it on purpose, some of us don’t, but most of us still notice when a guy’s eyes glance at our breasts.  Below we have gathered various responses from women (and men) that were asked, “Do women notice when men look at there breasts?”

Yes. I definitely notice. I think for the most part it is ok and I take it as a compliment. I had breast implants a few years ago so I suppose if I said I didn’t like the attention that would be a bit hypocritical. Like most girls, when I put on an outfit and it really makes my boobs pop and look awesome I feel great and I suppose its natural if I like how they look so would a guy. As long as nothing offside is happening (like Ive had guys sneak a handful of my tits in crowded areas) I think its ok.

Continue Reading Yes Men, Women Do Notice When You Glance At Our Breasts

The Secret To Keeping Your Vagina Clean

The Secret To Keeping Your Vagina Clean

My goal with this blog isn’t to shame women with smelly vaginas or add to the stereotype.  Even if you have the most beautiful vagina in the world, you still have dealt with unwelcoming odors from their vagina, whether they admit it or not.  Saying you’ve never dealt with having to clean your vagina is much like saying you’ve never brushed your teeth and/or had morning breath.  It’s just not a reality. 

I get it, that’s just something anyone wants to think about.   We do have to deal with old semen in our bodies, we do have to deal with the chemicals in condoms changing the pH in our bodies, we do have to deal with taking antibiotics for a sinus infection and the good bacteria in our bodies getting removed with the bad, and the list goes on and on.  Anything that can cause a yeast infection, which can be something as simple as a woman being turned on and getting too wet all day, can affect your smell.  With this blog I will try to go over my own experiences and what I believe is the best way / secret to keeping your vagina clean and stay odor free.   It isn’t technically a secret, but it also isn’t discussed for various reasons: talking about the secrets to eliminating odors can be embarrassing because that would mean your vagina odors (all women do), odors can be embarrassing, the vagina is usually self cleansing and if you admit it smells it suggests your vagina is broken, it’s natural, it gives more power to a man’s dick, and odors can be embarrassing

Mom knows best… clean your vagina daily

When I was a little girl, I saw a commercial on TV for Massengil, which was a product women would use if they ever had that “unfresh” feeling, aka a douche. At the time, I didn’t understand what that meant, and if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t think I fully understood until I was well into my early 20s. I did unfold the instructions that came with the box and saw a crude caricature of a woman with one leg up at a 90 degree angle. In the next frame was the douche bottle headed right for the opening between her legs. What’s she doing that for? I thought. Does the water stay in there? What comes out? My six-year-old mind couldn’t even comprehend, and I don’t even think I asked my mom what she did with that bottle.

To be fair, my mom did emphasize the importance of washing your “private area” every day and putting on a fresh pair of panties. I didn’t question it. I thought it was part of my bathroom routine, same as brushing your teeth, combing your hair, washing your face, etc. I washed faithfully without question because you should always listen to your parents.  I never had any odors that I recall other than maybe a slight urine smell when I was a little girl.

Things that can cause odors in a vagina:

  • Semen
  • A dirty penis / balls
    Yes, your penis can introduce harmful bacteria to our bodies!  Keep your junk clean and stop trying to fuck us after a long day of work and no shower.
  • Period blood. 
    Whether it’s heavy or late in the cycle, it changes our body’s chemistry.
  • Saliva from oral sex
    When it comes to bacteria, the mouth is incredibly dirty and has hundreds of different types of bacteria living in it at any given moment.   This bacteria transfers to our vaginas when you go down on us.  Brush your teeth and use mouthwash prior to oral sex.
  • Getting wet and turned on
    Getting wet is natural, getting wet and turned on without having follow-up sex can lead to an excessive build up of moisture and bacteria.  We need dick, or something shaped like a dick daily.
  • Antibiotics
    Anytime you take antibiotics for other ailments such as a sinus infection, it can kill the good bacteria in  your body as well and temporary change your body chemistry.
  • Being fingered
    Dirty fingernails can carry harmful bacteria
  • Tight Panties
    This locks the moisture in.  If you can’t air it out, things happen.
  • Baths
    Bath water can not only cause an UTI, it can also cause an imbalance in the pH of your vagina.
  • Soap directly in your Vagina
  • Douche (mom never knew!)
    Not only kills the bad smelly bacteria, but it also kills the good bacteria that helps get rid of your odor
  • Wiping after using the bathroom
    Always wipe front to back
  • Hygiene 
    Take showers, change your panties.   

The solution to all of these problems?   A penis.


My Vagina Now…

Fast forward to married life.  Although I am religiously intimate with my husband twice a day,  that doesn’t mean just vaginal penetration.  That means massages, handjobs, blowjobs, face fucking, 69ing, or him eating me out.  Having vaginal intercourse has changed to maybe 2-3 times a week.  And most of the time this sex ends with my husband cumming inside me.   Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but let me explain.

When we were younger, we would have sex regularly, because we didn’t have all the various techniques we now use to please each other.  I was never on birth control and didn’t have my tubes tied so I could still easily get pregnant.   So although we had sex daily, it didn’t end in a cream pie.  That, plus the next day having sex again, my vagina was a workhorse.  Constant sex kept my fluids flowing, kept my body self cleansing, and without semen inside me, I stayed very fresh.   This is a sneak peek into how women can keep their bodies clean.  A penis is shaped to penetrate, but it is also shaped to “plunge”.  The glans of the penis is shaped to get deep inside your body and pull out (plunge) all the old fluids deep inside our bodies.     

According to Professor Gordon Gallup from the State University of New York who led a team of scientists to investigate the anatomy of the human penis and its use, the thrust of the penis – and the ridge that separates the head from the shaft – could help clear a woman’s vagina and reproductive system of a previous lover’s sperm.

Which also means it can also help clear a woman’s vagina and reproductive system of the same man’s cum from the night before.  Hence, keeping your vagina clean.

Getting my tubes tied means I want my husband to cum inside me every time

This is important to note because vaginal sex now usually ended with semen in my vagina. And because of this, I can be left with a lot of old semen in my body. You may be saying, “There’s nothing wrong with semen! It’s clean! That’s nature!” That’s right, it is; however, when you have fluids in your body, semen included, it festers in the vaginal cavity, and after a day or two, you’ll notice the distinct “fish” smell. That’s right. How does this happen? When you have bacteria in a tight crevice (vagina) that isn’t given the opportunity to flush out, it will sit. And sit. And sit. And sit in you until one day you notice a pungent smell emanating from between your legs. You can wash your lips and your clit, and it may cut that odor just slightly, but it’s still there! 

Not to mention, now that I have vaginal penetration less often, I notice that sex is much more traumatizing.  Previously my labia and vagina could handle the abuse from a penis rubbing each night between my walls; my body was acclimated to sex.   Now, having sex less often, my labia get sore and swollen, my vaginal walls tighten and become engorged (the opposite of what men think happens when we get fucked by a big dick), and any semen left inside me, stays inside me until my vagina recovers from the trauma of sex.   In other words, my vaginal hole tightens and closes after a long sex session.   This means the cum deep inside me can’t really leak out as easily.   And I know the next day when I am at work and nothing leaks out, my husband’s cum is still deep inside my body festering.  I never had this problem when I was sexual active daily.

Our Menstrual Cycles

I came to the conclusion that my mom was probably douching right after her period, because traces of blood left in your vagina can easily lead to foul odors. “Light days” or “Day 5” of your cycle doesn’t just mean you can stop using tampons – it means you should also start cleaning yourself.

But how?   

If you have a man, on day 5 or light days, you should be asking him to clean you out.  If that makes you uncomfortable, then you should have a shaft shaped toy that has a prominent mushroom shaped glans.

I will be dead honest.  At the end of my cycle I will message my husband and flat out tell him, I want you to fuck me tonight and clean me out.  It’s called a maintenance fuck.  It may not be sexual, it may not be something he fantasizes about, but he knows that I am serious.  I want to use his dick to clean my body deep and thorough, especially at the end of my cycle.  We use coconut oil (which naturally kills yeast) and he will fuck me slow and deep to get it all out.   The next day?  I am as fresh as can be.  That’s the secret, a maintenance fuck.

The researchers found that the penises with a more pronounced “mushroom shape” — those that had a marked coronal ridge, where the head meets the shaft — fared better in the experiment. The most mushroom-shaped penis scooped out nearly 87% of prior sperm.

If it can remove 87% of prior sperm, it can remove 87% of the old blood and bacteria still inside your body from your menstrual cycle.  In other words, if you want to clean your vagina, go fuck yourself. Whether that is with a dick or dildo.  If you don’t have a man and you’re allergic to certain materials, use your fingers. I once had a girl who wanted to hook up with, tell me on a Monday, “Heyyyy, I’m on my period right now, but should be good by the weekend (wink)!” Girl, NO. I’ll see you NEXT Friday, and if I’m on my cycle at that time, see you at the end of the month. That’s just common courtesy.

Something is fishy and the secrets out…

I feel like during the first 20 years of our marriage, I didn’t have that fish problem because, you guessed it, we were constantly having sex, and in doing so, kept my vagina balanced and fresh. Think brushing your teeth (and tongue!) and scrubbing away old food, soda, and candy. Think oral thrush (yeast infection of the mouth) and having no stimulation to free your mouth of bacteria. It works the same for a vagina: the more often you have sex, the less likely you’ll have bacteria sitting and ruminating in you. 

On another note, my cousin was a prison guard and they had a post-op transgender inmate.  This inmate, by doctor’s orders, was prescribed to use a dildo each night on her body to keep from getting infections.   Now I know that this was to prevent the post-op vagina from closing completely, but the same concept still applies.  Using your body each day keeps your body regenerating and functioning properly.  The vagina can absolutely be self-cleansing IF YOU ARE USING IT.

And it’s not just semen or old period blood that can cause that odor. If you’ve ever been so turned on that your vagina starts to get wet, your own fluids can cause it, too! It’s the bacteria sitting in your vagina that does it. I remember distinctly in grade school the older sisters of my classmates saying vaginas smell like fish, or something to that effect. Basically blaming a girl for having a “fishy” vagina. But no one knew why! And that all girls are prone to it! It was just something to tease a girl about when you wanted to piss her off. So even if you’re not sexually active (i.e. having semen in you regularly) or if you don’t have a regular menstrual cycle, your vagina is susceptible to odor. No woman is immune, and it’s unavoidable. Practice total vaginal care – your future partners will thank you.