One Girls Journey: Teaching Her Boyfriend To Make Her Cum / Orgasm
It’s almost like a rite of passage for a young man to make his woman orgasm. We decided to share this great anonymous story of a girl and her journey teaching her boyfriend how to make her cum. We figured we would share for those on the same journey. I will add my own input between various points to help add missing details for those of you that may be looking for this type of information.
At the end of the write up, I will add a few more tips and tricks that may help your woman orgasm. Unfortunately, this write up could be split up into parts, because some women prefer to orgasm with a dick, with a tongue, with a toy, or with a finger. This story seems to be more of how to make her cum with his fingers. So we are a bit all over the place with this one.
Take the pressure off of her and make her cum!
When my boyfriend first started trying to make me cum 7 months ago, he was so sure that it would happen that I felt a lot of pressure and it gave me a lot of anxiety every time we tried. He kept saying things like, “It’s going to happen this time” and “I won’t stop until you cum this time” – and while the determination and optimism is MUCH appreciated, it ultimately created even more pressure for me. At about the ten minute mark each time, I would get really self-conscious that I hadn’t cum and that he was bored. By the 20 minute mark when he insisted he wanted to keep trying. I promise you I was not thinking about sex AT ALL. I was stuck in my own head screaming “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU”, “HE’S TRYING SO HARD”, “JUST CUM ALREADY” and any of the pleasures I was feeling was buried. Seriously guys, I almost faked it once (a big deal for him) just because I felt SO bad and he was working so hard for it that I wanted to give it to him just because he deserved it. After I told him about how much pressure I felt to cum, we started trying just for 10-15 minutes and then moving onto sex if it still wasn’t building for me. This helped me just focus on the pleasure I felt and not worry about needing to cum from it! Once we established that norm, I started getting a lot more into it and I came pretty soon after that.
Nessa: This also helps with orgasms through penetrative sex. Imagine it not just being a finger playing with you, or a tongue, but instead the man sweating on top of you, watching the clock, trying to move exactly the way you need it. Half way to a heart attack but still going. This pressure, especially because the the energy output can be so high, puts a lot of pressure on women. This is probably why a lot of women fake orgasms, because we feel bad watching a man try so hard yet aren’t able to give him what he wants. If you take the pressure off us reaching an orgasm, it’s just easier for us to relax and cum through sex.
Don’t take it personally, and put in the work to make her cum
My boyfriend got really insecure that he couldn’t make me cum after months and months of trying, and I felt like he stopped trying for a while simply because he was embarrassed. DONT DO THAT! It’s not a you problem. Like I talked about above, I was equally as embarrassed as he was and the more I felt like he didn’t want to try, the more ashamed I was. YOU’RE DOING GREAT! It takes a lot of work to get there, but (for me at least) as soon as my boyfriend made me cum once it got a whole lot easier. He’s made me cum by himself almost every time since then!
Dirty talk to make her cum
My boyfriend will dirty talk in my ear almost the entire time, which helps give me a narrative to focus on and makes me feel like he’s into it and not just sitting there bored listening to me pant. lol. He starts off with fantasies of mine first, and by the time I get really close he’ll start whispering all the things he’s going to do to me after I cum for him. Yeah, that helps lol.
Nessa: Dirty talk definitely helps, depending on what he is doing. If he is down on me giving me oral sex, stopping to talk to me may just throw me off entirely. However, moaning or acting like my pussy is the best thing you have ever tasted, definitely keeps me on edge. If he is near my face and I am sucking his dick while I have a toy / vibrator on my crotch, hearing him talk dirty can definitely help me orgasm much faster. During sex, dirty talk can also help. However, make sure your breath is fresh! Imagine trying to cum with coffee breath blowing in your face talking dirty to you. The little things like this make a huge difference.
Let her guide you (and watch her make herself cum so you get an idea of her technique).
For me personally, my clit is too sensitive to directly touch. I had to guide my boyfriend to a very specific spot right above my clit, and then occasionally adjust his finger once it started slipping from that spot. I also had to tell him to speed up/slow down and use less/more pressure. Don’t be embarrassed by her critiques! I swear it is just as difficult when I do it myself, I just can immediately sense when I’m losing the “spot” and adjust myself accordingly. With my boyfriend, I had to tell him all of these adjustments – and some days there were many of them because that spot is so elusive.
Nessa: Great point. Every girl is unique. Do not try all your master techniques on us that worked on your last girl. Not only is that a huge turn off, but we aren’t machines that all operate the same way. My first cum with my guy was through his tongue, not his fingers, but we are all different. Communicate with your girl, ask her what makes her cum, and if you are secure in yourself, ask her to guide you through an orgasm with her. Even if you let her masturbate while you put your dick in her mouth and tease her nipples. Tell her she can guide your tongue and/or hand if she likes. The first time I came with my husband, he would come up from under the covers and ask, “Am I doing it right?” We were young, but I knew from playing with myself, how to tell him to move his tongue, “Go in little circles around my clit but not directly on it.”
My boyfriend will sometimes kiss me sloppily, choke me, dig his fingers into my back, or kiss all over my neck or my thighs while he’s working his fingers over my clit. That is ~heavenly~. He also started slipping his fingers inside of me as he played with my clit – sometimes pushing them deep into my G-spot, and sometimes gently teasing the outer entrance until I’m basically begging for him to shove his fingers inside of me. Sometimes he’ll even tease my asshole and slip a finger in there, which really gets me going. Obviously, this is up to personal preference – for a while it was really hard for me to focus on two different sensations at once (penetration and clit stimulation), so that didn’t work for me. Now it turns me on like nothing else!!
Nessa: Multitasking is great! During oral sex, I personally prefer a tongue near my clit area, a finger inside my vagina, and his other fingers “accidentally” rubbing against my anus. This has always been a big deal for my body. I assume the anus stimulation resembles his balls rubbing against my ass during intercourse. But my ass has always been a big erogenous zone for me.
Try having her stimulate you at the same time!
This doesn’t always work for me because it’s hard for me to focus on two things at once when I’m close to cumming, but it’s a MAJOR turn on for me when I can make my boyfriend moan as he’s trying to get me off. I LOVEEE 69-ing because I get to take his cock down my throat as his tongue is doing crazy things to my pussy. If he’s just using his fingers, then I love using lube/spit to give him a handjob as he works his fingers. By the time I’m about to cum, the handjob is definitely sloppy at best – but there’s just something about having his dick in my hand and making him shudder every so often when I brush the head.
Nessa: This is actually a great suggestion. Probably the best suggestion in this entire write up. Stimulating him during play can keep him going for much longer. Just rubbing his balls, or stroking his shaft, can release his endorphins and satisfy him, while he satisfies you. And like her first point, knowing he is also being pleased, takes off all the pressure and time constraints. We have learned that if he kind of sits off to the side, on all fours, so I can reach up and just rub his balls, while he is down on me really works. It’s not quite 69, but close. You can also just flat out 69, but that can tend to change the game, depending on how hard and horny he gets. It goes from eating each other out, to getting my throat fucked. Either way, finding ways to relax each other, can keep him going for much longer. And by much longer, it can keep him down on you for hours if you find the right spot.
Try letting her do the work the first couple times.
The very first time I came from my boyfriend, I started grinding down on his finger in time with his motions. Pretty soon he was only minimally moving his finger and I was doing some serious hip action to recreate the way I masturbate by myself. So, for example, I would grind my hips in a circular motion with barely any pressure, and then when I got closer I would start jerking my hips up and down while grinding hard into his finger. This is pretty much my technique by myself, but usually my hips are still and my finger is doing the work. This time I flipped it and used his finger! I will say I was really self conscious about this technique at first because I thought it must look like I was having a seizure with all my hip-jerking lol. But pretty soon I stopped caring about what I looked like, and I came like 5 minutes after that lol. I’ve had to use this technique less and less because my boyfriend is learning my exact style, and the work is slowly transferring from my hips back to his fingers. Last time he made me cum in under 10 minutes with pretty much no effort from myself! WILD
Nessa: This is much like her other suggestion, let her guide you. I think she probably put this twice because this was the biggest surprise for her. Her being the one showing him how to do it, was important. That man ego, that big cocky attitude, that drive to make her cum without taking into consideration that he had no idea how her body ticks? Let her help you.
I hope this helps at least one person!! I seriously was so depressed over this issue, but as soon as it happened once he started being able to make me cum almost every single time by himself. The first time I came, we both sat up and basically screamed with joy lol. We didn’t even have sex after because we were too busy celebrating. Hope you have similar luck with some of these tips, because cumming in the arms of your partner is an AMAZING feeling that I hope all of your girlfriends/fuck buddies/hookups/one-night-stands experience 🙂
Great little write up. We will add a few more pointers in this article to really fluff it up a bit and make sure we touch on more points that were missed.
Learn her body.
It’s not instinct for you to just touch us and we cum. We have erogenous zones, hot spots, things that make us go crazy, and things that just outright irritate us. For instance, I can’t stand just having your fingers slammed into me like you are fucking me with your hand. What’s really crazy is a lot of girls I have been actually do this. It doesn’t feel good to me. Not to mention, cut your nails! Never finger a girl with big long gross nails. Men or women.
Some girls like it rough, some girls like it soft. Some girls like direct contact with the clitoris, some like you to circle around it. Some like you to only directly rub the clitoris as we are about to cum, but as we orgasm, ease up and circle again. Much like your penis head when you cum, we get sensitive. Don’t keep rubbing our clits as hard as you can while we are in the middle of the orgasm, as it may ruin it for us. But again, learn her. Figure out what she likes and doesn’t like. From oral, to fingers, to actual sex. If you want to make your girl orgasm, learn her. Put the ego off to the side shelf next to the lube, and go in with an open mind.
Good luck fellas!
Perhaps such training is really necessary for a fairly large number of men. Because many of them think that orgasm is when they come in and move. And the longer they perform their frictions, the more likely a woman will experience an orgasm.