My husband and I finally tried anal and it was amazing!
I am 29 and my husband is 30. As someone who was searching for anal advice recently and found your blog, I thought I’d share my experience.
I wasn’t technically an anal virgin when I met my husband. It happened with two previous boyfriends, but both were very painful, unplanned, “oops it slipped into the wrong hole” when drunk situations. Both were awful. My husband and I tried anal early in our relationship, but I was so nervous that we never made it past toys.
The idea of getting railed in the ass has always really turned me on, so I was determined to try again. We picked out an anal plug beginners kit and some good lube. I decided to go the extra mile, so I did a fleet enema (got it on Amazon) before we started. I also had a tiny edible, so I would feel more relaxed.
We started with some basic foreplay and PIV sex. Then we moved on to the plug kit. We got to the biggest plug and decided to give it a go. He was so gentle, slowed down and stopped when I asked without hesitation. Once I was fully adjusted to him he steadily increased speed until he was going for it and it was so. Fucking. Amazing. Legitimately one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had. Will 100% do it again.
My point is, don’t let previous bad experiences scare you away from trying something you’re interested in. With the right partner and open communication, it could become something you end up loving.
I have a similar story with orgasms. The first time I orgasmed while analing (with the help from a toy), my orgasm was so much more intense. I believe this is because of the pressure and stretch your anus feels, which helps make the orgasm much better. When I orgasm though vaginal penetration, I liked to be fucked hard while I cum. When I orgasm while analing, I do not have to be fucked hard because the stretch and pressure is already intense enough to maximize the pleasure I feel during an orgasm.
Ryan’s response to finally tried anal
We are both really happy for you! I am glad our blog could help you keep an open mind and try something that you previously had bad experiences with. Maybe your story will help others also see the advantages of anal sex.
So my friend and his girl have been continuously asking me to join them in a threesome after a night out at the bar. At first I didn’t think it would be a good idea but they kept asking and I finally said yes. We just set out the rules that I wouldn’t cum anywhere on or in my friend’s girl which I was completely fine with but everything else they said I can feel comfortable doing.
Fast forward to the time we started. We were all a little drunk and it was just a great vibe. As time went on, we changed positions multiple times and it was all going good. But something happened and my friend just wasn’t into it. I think they could sense that I was unsure so they both kept telling me to keep fucking her. I was honestly planning on stopping but she was practically begging me to keep going. My friend left the room for a little bit, unsure why. A couple minutes later my friend comes back in the room and it seemed like he couldn’t get hard again. I was noticing all of this while fucking her in doggy which was amazing.
This is where the problem starts. I’m more of the dominant person in sex and I know his girl was digging that. I was kind of controlling her and telling her what to do next. The alpha. Also I don’t mean to say this in any cocky or weird way but I’m just the bigger guy there being 6’3 and about 7 inches, while my friend is around 5’9 and relatively about 4 inches. I’m only giving this information because it seems like this was the downfall of the situation. During this threesome I felt his girl was feeling me more and was only paying attention to me, but I didn’t notice this at the time. So as I noticed him not getting hard while fucking her in doggy, something clicked to my brain and I just started fucking her pretty rough (which she was encouraging me to do). In the side of my head I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t stop. Me and my friend’s girl then switched to missionary and after that I ended up finishing in her.
After that I just felt terrible. I didn’t even want to do that but realized after what I did and I feel sick. I apologized to both of them after and it seemed like the girl was the only one ok with it. I feel what went wrong is that my friend got discouraged when he saw me be there dominant one with his girl which left him not feeling it. I realized this a little while having sex but I didn’t fully see it. This encounter essentially turned into him watching me fuck his girl pretty rough (which is what she asked for).
What do I do now I feel like I will never have him as a friend anymore?
Venice’s response to feel terrible after a threesome
In all honestly, you sound like a horrible friend. The only hard boundary they had and you broke it. You saw all the negative signs from him, yet ignored them. You could have had sex with her, been rough, told her where to move, what position, and done anything you liked, but just simply not cum in her or on her.
You should feel terrible, you are a terrible friend.
Ryan’s response to feel terrible after a threesome
I wouldn’t consider you a friend at all. Your version of this story seems like how it would read from a narcissist’s perspective, who happens to be a horrible lover. A man so anxious to get pussy, he couldn’t even follow a simple rule and control himself. Like an incel. The worst type of lover. Mentioning your friend’s dick size and his height, as if because of that you think he felt inadequate. He knew about your height prior correct? Did you walk around on your knees and pretend to be 5’7 until you got naked with them? Maybe it wasn’t your size, since one can assume a guy with “4 inches” already knows he is on the lower scale of sizes. Maybe he just wasn’t as excited as he thought he would be seeing a man fuck his girl.
I am sure you caused a lot of issues in their relationship, but you aren’t totally to blame. Obviously he wasn’t prepared to have a threesome and didn’t take into consideration that asking a man to join them in bed, doesn’t mean the man will be the passive sex doll that does everything how they want. Instead they got a horny guy that couldn’t control himself or hold his load properly. Dumb decisions all the way around. Good luck with your “friendship”.
One Girls Journey: Teaching Her Boyfriend To Make Her Cum / Orgasm
It’s almost like a rite of passage for a young man to make his woman orgasm. We decided to share this great anonymous story of a girl and her journey teaching her boyfriend how to make her cum. We figured we would share for those on the same journey. I will add my own input between various points to help add missing details for those of you that may be looking for this type of information.
At the end of the write up, I will add a few more tips and tricks that may help your woman orgasm. Unfortunately, this write up could be split up into parts, because some women prefer to orgasm with a dick, with a tongue, with a toy, or with a finger. This story seems to be more of how to make her cum with his fingers. So we are a bit all over the place with this one.
Take the pressure off of her and make her cum!
When my boyfriend first started trying to make me cum 7 months ago, he was so sure that it would happen that I felt a lot of pressure and it gave me a lot of anxiety every time we tried. He kept saying things like, “It’s going to happen this time” and “I won’t stop until you cum this time” – and while the determination and optimism is MUCH appreciated, it ultimately created even more pressure for me. At about the ten minute mark each time, I would get really self-conscious that I hadn’t cum and that he was bored. By the 20 minute mark when he insisted he wanted to keep trying. I promise you I was not thinking about sex AT ALL. I was stuck in my own head screaming “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU”, “HE’S TRYING SO HARD”, “JUST CUM ALREADY” and any of the pleasures I was feeling was buried. Seriously guys, I almost faked it once (a big deal for him) just because I felt SO bad and he was working so hard for it that I wanted to give it to him just because he deserved it. After I told him about how much pressure I felt to cum, we started trying just for 10-15 minutes and then moving onto sex if it still wasn’t building for me. This helped me just focus on the pleasure I felt and not worry about needing to cum from it! Once we established that norm, I started getting a lot more into it and I came pretty soon after that.
Nessa: This also helps with orgasms through penetrative sex. Imagine it not just being a finger playing with you, or a tongue, but instead the man sweating on top of you, watching the clock, trying to move exactly the way you need it. Half way to a heart attack but still going. This pressure, especially because the the energy output can be so high, puts a lot of pressure on women. This is probably why a lot of women fake orgasms, because we feel bad watching a man try so hard yet aren’t able to give him what he wants. If you take the pressure off us reaching an orgasm, it’s just easier for us to relax and cum through sex.
Don’t take it personally, and put in the work to make her cum
My boyfriend got really insecure that he couldn’t make me cum after months and months of trying, and I felt like he stopped trying for a while simply because he was embarrassed. DONT DO THAT! It’s not a you problem. Like I talked about above, I was equally as embarrassed as he was and the more I felt like he didn’t want to try, the more ashamed I was. YOU’RE DOING GREAT! It takes a lot of work to get there, but (for me at least) as soon as my boyfriend made me cum once it got a whole lot easier. He’s made me cum by himself almost every time since then!
Dirty talk to make her cum
My boyfriend will dirty talk in my ear almost the entire time, which helps give me a narrative to focus on and makes me feel like he’s into it and not just sitting there bored listening to me pant. lol. He starts off with fantasies of mine first, and by the time I get really close he’ll start whispering all the things he’s going to do to me after I cum for him. Yeah, that helps lol.
Nessa: Dirty talk definitely helps, depending on what he is doing. If he is down on me giving me oral sex, stopping to talk to me may just throw me off entirely. However, moaning or acting like my pussy is the best thing you have ever tasted, definitely keeps me on edge. If he is near my face and I am sucking his dick while I have a toy / vibrator on my crotch, hearing him talk dirty can definitely help me orgasm much faster. During sex, dirty talk can also help. However, make sure your breath is fresh! Imagine trying to cum with coffee breath blowing in your face talking dirty to you. The little things like this make a huge difference.
Let her guide you (and watch her make herself cum so you get an idea of her technique).
For me personally, my clit is too sensitive to directly touch. I had to guide my boyfriend to a very specific spot right above my clit, and then occasionally adjust his finger once it started slipping from that spot. I also had to tell him to speed up/slow down and use less/more pressure. Don’t be embarrassed by her critiques! I swear it is just as difficult when I do it myself, I just can immediately sense when I’m losing the “spot” and adjust myself accordingly. With my boyfriend, I had to tell him all of these adjustments – and some days there were many of them because that spot is so elusive.
Nessa: Great point. Every girl is unique. Do not try all your master techniques on us that worked on your last girl. Not only is that a huge turn off, but we aren’t machines that all operate the same way. My first cum with my guy was through his tongue, not his fingers, but we are all different. Communicate with your girl, ask her what makes her cum, and if you are secure in yourself, ask her to guide you through an orgasm with her. Even if you let her masturbate while you put your dick in her mouth and tease her nipples. Tell her she can guide your tongue and/or hand if she likes. The first time I came with my husband, he would come up from under the covers and ask, “Am I doing it right?” We were young, but I knew from playing with myself, how to tell him to move his tongue, “Go in little circles around my clit but not directly on it.”
My boyfriend will sometimes kiss me sloppily, choke me, dig his fingers into my back, or kiss all over my neck or my thighs while he’s working his fingers over my clit. That is ~heavenly~. He also started slipping his fingers inside of me as he played with my clit – sometimes pushing them deep into my G-spot, and sometimes gently teasing the outer entrance until I’m basically begging for him to shove his fingers inside of me. Sometimes he’ll even tease my asshole and slip a finger in there, which really gets me going. Obviously, this is up to personal preference – for a while it was really hard for me to focus on two different sensations at once (penetration and clit stimulation), so that didn’t work for me. Now it turns me on like nothing else!!
Nessa: Multitasking is great! During oral sex, I personally prefer a tongue near my clit area, a finger inside my vagina, and his other fingers “accidentally” rubbing against my anus. This has always been a big deal for my body. I assume the anus stimulation resembles his balls rubbing against my ass during intercourse. But my ass has always been a big erogenous zone for me.
Try having her stimulate you at the same time!
This doesn’t always work for me because it’s hard for me to focus on two things at once when I’m close to cumming, but it’s a MAJOR turn on for me when I can make my boyfriend moan as he’s trying to get me off. I LOVEEE 69-ing because I get to take his cock down my throat as his tongue is doing crazy things to my pussy. If he’s just using his fingers, then I love using lube/spit to give him a handjob as he works his fingers. By the time I’m about to cum, the handjob is definitely sloppy at best – but there’s just something about having his dick in my hand and making him shudder every so often when I brush the head.
Nessa: This is actually a great suggestion. Probably the best suggestion in this entire write up. Stimulating him during play can keep him going for much longer. Just rubbing his balls, or stroking his shaft, can release his endorphins and satisfy him, while he satisfies you. And like her first point, knowing he is also being pleased, takes off all the pressure and time constraints. We have learned that if he kind of sits off to the side, on all fours, so I can reach up and just rub his balls, while he is down on me really works. It’s not quite 69, but close. You can also just flat out 69, but that can tend to change the game, depending on how hard and horny he gets. It goes from eating each other out, to getting my throat fucked. Either way, finding ways to relax each other, can keep him going for much longer. And by much longer, it can keep him down on you for hours if you find the right spot.
Try letting her do the work the first couple times.
The very first time I came from my boyfriend, I started grinding down on his finger in time with his motions. Pretty soon he was only minimally moving his finger and I was doing some serious hip action to recreate the way I masturbate by myself. So, for example, I would grind my hips in a circular motion with barely any pressure, and then when I got closer I would start jerking my hips up and down while grinding hard into his finger. This is pretty much my technique by myself, but usually my hips are still and my finger is doing the work. This time I flipped it and used his finger! I will say I was really self conscious about this technique at first because I thought it must look like I was having a seizure with all my hip-jerking lol. But pretty soon I stopped caring about what I looked like, and I came like 5 minutes after that lol. I’ve had to use this technique less and less because my boyfriend is learning my exact style, and the work is slowly transferring from my hips back to his fingers. Last time he made me cum in under 10 minutes with pretty much no effort from myself! WILD
Nessa: This is much like her other suggestion, let her guide you. I think she probably put this twice because this was the biggest surprise for her. Her being the one showing him how to do it, was important. That man ego, that big cocky attitude, that drive to make her cum without taking into consideration that he had no idea how her body ticks? Let her help you.
I hope this helps at least one person!! I seriously was so depressed over this issue, but as soon as it happened once he started being able to make me cum almost every single time by himself. The first time I came, we both sat up and basically screamed with joy lol. We didn’t even have sex after because we were too busy celebrating. Hope you have similar luck with some of these tips, because cumming in the arms of your partner is an AMAZING feeling that I hope all of your girlfriends/fuck buddies/hookups/one-night-stands experience 🙂
Great little write up. We will add a few more pointers in this article to really fluff it up a bit and make sure we touch on more points that were missed.
Learn her body.
It’s not instinct for you to just touch us and we cum. We have erogenous zones, hot spots, things that make us go crazy, and things that just outright irritate us. For instance, I can’t stand just having your fingers slammed into me like you are fucking me with your hand. What’s really crazy is a lot of girls I have been actually do this. It doesn’t feel good to me. Not to mention, cut your nails! Never finger a girl with big long gross nails. Men or women.
Some girls like it rough, some girls like it soft. Some girls like direct contact with the clitoris, some like you to circle around it. Some like you to only directly rub the clitoris as we are about to cum, but as we orgasm, ease up and circle again. Much like your penis head when you cum, we get sensitive. Don’t keep rubbing our clits as hard as you can while we are in the middle of the orgasm, as it may ruin it for us. But again, learn her. Figure out what she likes and doesn’t like. From oral, to fingers, to actual sex. If you want to make your girl orgasm, learn her. Put the ego off to the side shelf next to the lube, and go in with an open mind.
I am a 21 year old female and struggle to enjoy sex with my boyfriend. He is 27 years old. I’m always horny and always down to have sex. I’ve never been with someone who I have found so unbelievably attractive and for some reason that puts me down. I feel embarrassed to take my clothes off. I have a mom bod with stretch marks and I’m chubby. I also don’t think I have the prettiest face. All I can think about during sex or giving him oral is how unattractive I look or if I’m even pleasing him, or if he is thinking about someone else. I have faked many orgasms just so he can finish or we can be done, I don’t think I remember the last time he made me cum. I cant even watch sex scenes during movies/shows with him because It makes me so insecure and down. I have asked him if I’m properly pleasing him or if there’s anything I can work on & he tells me no. I can’t even enjoy when he does go down on me (which he barely does & makes me feel like he doesn’t want to) because I’m so worried about myself. If I’m being completely honest it makes me tear up & get really emotional. It affects my daily life. (Please be nice, I’m just looking for some help & advice)
Venice’s response to too ugly for blow jobs
The good news is, if you are following the amazing guidelines in my Blow Job Bible, he won’t be able to see straight.
With that said, I am sorry you have such a negative outlook on yourself. If you don’t feel sexy, why would he find you sexy? First of all, confidence is sexy. Are you sucking his dick with confidence? Or are you sucking his dick and scared to look at him in the face. Scared to be extra dirty. Scared to moan sexy or do all the things you know could be sexy, but because you are self-conscious, skip all that.
You have to suck dick like you don’t have a care in the world. Lose yourself in how sexy you look with a dick in your mouth. Show him confidence. Show him you’re sexy because you say you’re sexy.
I don’t know exactly how to make you feel pretty to him, but I do know you need to have more confidence in yourself. Everyone deserves good sex. Everyone deserves to be treated like they are beautiful. You should demand it. How he treats you outside of the bedroom is a big sign on how he feels about you in the bedroom. If he treats you good, tells you you are beautiful, stop over thinking it. If he doesn’t do that, maybe find a man that will.
Ryan’s response totoo ugly for blow jobs
Let’s be honest, even the most beautiful person in the world (male or female) looks like a bug-eyed mosquito while sucking dick. Nothing is very pretty about seeing the veins pop out in her forehead, eyes water, her mouth stretched, and spit all over her face. And at the same time, nothing is more beautiful.
The ugliness of sex is what makes it so damn sexy. The painful looks she makes while she orgasms, the various faces she makes while she is jackhammered, the face fucking, the runny make up, the slobber. Lovely.
No matter what you think you look like, what does he think you look like? I assume if he is dating you, he thinks you are beautiful. If he goes out in public and holds you, is proud, and shows you off to the world, he adores you. When he watches you giving him a blow job, it doesn’t change, it just gets better. If he doesn’t treat you like his princess and show you off in public, then this is just a self esteem issue you have to deal with. Until you treat yourself like a beautiful person, no one else will either.
Q&A: Should I Tell The Husband’s Wife he is Gay and Sleeping With Me?
We met on Grindr. I live in a major city, he lived in a small suburb about 40 minutes away, so we always met up in my city for dates and my apartment for sex for the past 3 years, once or twice a week. Plus he went to a gym that was close to my apartment, so he was always in the area, there was never really a reason for me to go out to the suburbs. We were never exclusive, and he’s bisexual, so I knew he was having sex with both men and women while we were doing our thing.
One day without any warning he blocked my number. I needed to know what I’d done wrong. So I started sleuthing online, trying to find an e-mail address I use to write him, if only to get closure. He has a very generic name (like “John Smith” but not actually “John Smith). I don’t use Facebook, and so when he said he didn’t have Facebook, it didn’t really raise any red flags for me. But I got on Facebook and start searching for everyone with his name: no luck. I knew he was friends with a trainer at the gym, so I found the trainer on Facebook, and started going through his friends list: no one with that name. But I found someone else with his picture. And he was married.
I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I’ve been having sex for the past 3 years with a married man whose name I didn’t even know. Not only did he tell me his name was “John Smith” but he told me he’d been engaged but broken up with his fiancee because he’d caught her cheating, and while he was heartbroken, realized he was bisexual and decided to explore that side of his sexuality. Instead, he was married and he’d been cheating on his wife.
A part of me wants to contact his wife to tell her he’s been having unprotected sex with other women and men. I don’t know whether it’s out of concern for her health and safety–I’m on PreP but I doubt she is–or to satisfy my need for vengeance. But another part of me doesn’t want to out his sexuality. I don’t know what to do.
Venice’s response to gay husband
Interesting question. Part of me says tell the wife, because she deserves to know. The other part of me says, snitches get stitches.
Let’s try to figure out why he blocked you.
The chances are, when he blocked you he was already caught. Especially if he blocked you for no reason and without warning. Whether it be she found emails or texts from you two, or another man (or woman). In the process of working it out, most people require all outside contact is shut off, cold turkey. Whether it be from her, or from him showing her that he will never do it again. A guilty conscious, him trying to do what is right, or her doing it for him and him being cooperative. Him reaching out “one last time” for closure, shows he cared. We have to assume he told his wife he doesn’t care about any of them, it was just sex.
If you do reach out, just know, the wife is more likely to believe him than you anyway. You may cause an argument, but he will more than likely find a way to label you as some weird stalker from the gym. He’ll downplay anything he has done. And once they’ve cleared that up, him ever contacting you again is definitely out of the picture.
My advice is let him go and move on. If he has already made the steps to block you, and it really was without reason, then she probably already knows. Blocking you seems reactive to them probably getting in a fight over her seeing the emails herself. If you ever want to see him again, show him you can keep your relationship discrete and do your own thing.
Remember, you aren’t just calling her and letting her know he is a cheater, you are calling her and letting her know he is a cheater and gay. Be careful.
Ryan’s response to gay husband
It seems like him blocking you for no reason would be the biggest hint that she already knows. He was probably already caught. His reaction was to block everyone to show her he is a changed man. Telling the wife only shows that he will never be able to trust you again, if he ever did (he has been lying to you the whole time). You’re not going to be the hero that saves her from STDs, but you will get that revenge you may subconsciously want.
I find it hard to believe after 3 years with “John Smith” you didn’t already know the deal. I think now that you lost contact, you are desperate and trying to think of any way to get back in contact with him, even if its through his wife. Start the healing process and let it go.