Rating Your Penis Selfies: The Justin Bieber



Thinking about sending that hottie you just met on tinder your penis selfie? Maybe your twitter finger is a bit itchy and you want to show the world what you are working with? Well before you do that, maybe you should think about letting a neutral eye critique it first. Who knows, you may lose the possible future love of your life because you sent a penis pic that wasn’t up to a woman’s standards.  Yea, some women may enjoy a photoshopped 12 inch cock that is so warped the chair in the background of the photo has taken on a whole new shape, or a picture of your penis with a with a rose sticking out of its penis hole, while in the background there is a toilet filled with a log that is double the size of your schlong, but you can never get a second chance to make a first dick selfie impression! Listen fellas, let’s face it, a penis pic is a dime a dozen. There is very little demand and a whole lot of supply. What sets apart your dick from a porn stars isn’t going to be its size or shape, but the creativeness of the photo itself. That’s what women give a second look at. With that being said, let’s see if you can separate your penis selfie from the pack.  Think quality, artistry, vision, grooming style, and of course, penis placement!  You can submit your pics by emailing me at sexlifeandeverything@gmail.com.

The penis submission is below (Click Read More)

The Justin Bieber

justinbeiberwannabeThe creativity cannot be ignored here. I’m unsure why you didn’t choose to simply use your left hand to take the photo. But the alternative method of using your foot (or feet) to snap the pic is commendable. I can imagine the multiple shots you must have taken to obtain this one in order to skillfully obscure your Justin Bieber looks. Not only have you successfully kept your facial features hidden, but you’ve managed to keep the rest of you hidden as well. Clearly your attempt to preserve your anonymity was balanced artistically, which, depending on the receiver of this pic, will either leave him/her wanting more.

Overall, the quality has not been entirely sacrificed as I can see the dirty blond highlights coiffed flawlessly and reflecting just enough natural lighting, but unfortunately, the “rear facing camera” graininess offsets it.

Grade: B-


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lol, love this idea!

Actually looks like Justin too. lololol