Threesome Memoirs – Our First Experience

Tonight was the night.  I had a feeling something important was going to happen between Ryan, me, and our third. The first few times she was in our home, we talked, and the most we ever did was kiss. The week prior, I texted to her that the next time we got together, I would be ready; I would ravage her; I wanted to taste her.

I’d been preparing all week for this anticipated night. Down below, I was shaved flawlessly, even got Ryan to inspect for straggling hairs, then used cocoa butter to smooth out my skin.  I made sure my body was entirely fresh and smelling good.

Before she arrived, Ryan and I took a few shots of rum, but it didn’t kick in.  Still sober, I hugged her when she came in and walked with her to the kitchen.  Ansy, I do not remember much of the conversation, but we did talk for a while before moving to our bedroom.  She sat on one of the sofa chairs across from me as I sat on the couch.  “Come sit by me,” I coaxed her. She got up to sit by me. The skirt she was wearing was long and tight. All I could think about was the last time she was here when she wore a short summer dress and sitting on that same sofa chair; I was sitting on the floor eye level to her crotch as she sat Indian-style with the hem of her skirt conveniently pull over her thighs. Back then (two weeks ago) I was nervous to look; I didn’t want to appear perverted.  I did, however, steal a few glances in between as I faked looking around the room. Tonight, I, myself, wore a short spaghetti-strap dress with no bra or panties underneath. I knew I was ready.  I was hoping she was pantiless under her skirt, too.

She moved to the floor and said she wanted to face me when we talked, so I followed and sat across from her, my knees touching hers.  “Can I tell you something?” She nodded her head. “When we first met and I didn’t know you very well yet, I had a lot of boundaries.  But as I got to know you, I started to like you as a person. I began to trust you. Ryan and I trust you. With this trust, my boundaries have been loosened. I used to tell him, ‘If anything ever happens with another woman, I don’t want you touching or feeling her, I don’t even want you to look at her.’  Now, I have this woman here, you, who I trust will respect my wishes and has gained my trust.” I was being sincere and it was such a relief to feel that uncertainly about her being lifted off my shoulders. If anything happened between all of us, I wanted to let her know that she had done right by me and I could concentrate on enjoying my new found sexuality.

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Threesome Memoirs – Bisexuality

Threesome Memoirs: Table of Contents


Let’s say you are browsing a porn website, which I know some of you reading would never do.  But let’s just close our eyes and pretend.  After you’ve studied the “Craigslist is Dead!  Get Easy Pussy Now!” advertisement for a few moments, you decide to actually browse the selection.  If you click on Hardcore, you will probably see a man and a woman having sex in various positions as fast as possible.  This video usually ends up with the man jumping to his feet in his last seconds and unloading his semen onto a woman’s shocked yet happy face.    If you click on Gay, you will probably see two men fucking each other without condoms or pissing on each other while they talk extremely manly. Or maybe just two college guys stroking it next to each other with huge smiles on their faces.  If you click on Lesbian,  you will probably see two women having sex in the scissor position fake orgasming for 10 minutes.  Ok, I’m not going to keep going.   I know most of you on our page have never even thought of visiting a porn website, so just imagine endless categories along the side of page, from Anal and Asian, to Tranny and Grannies.   My point?  If you click on Bisexual, what will you see?  You will either see two bisexual women and a man, or two bisexual men and a woman.  You will never click on a video or buy a porn that says, “Bisexual” and not see one of these combinations.  Why?  Because a true bisexual experience is a person enjoying another person of the same sex, and the opposite sex, at the same time.  If you clicked on a Bisexual link and you ended up watching a lesbian or gay video, you would be extremely disappointed. 

That’s how I feel in my sex life.

Would it matter if I told you that even though you clicked Bisexual and ended up watching a gay or lesbian scene you can still watch and enjoy the videos because those people you are currently watching having gay or lesbian sex also have heteosexual sex off camera?  The actors/actresses are “bisexual.”  Does that make watching the video more bisexual?


This blog topic may cause a bit of stir among the millions of bisexual women that visit our blog daily (okay, I may have exaggerated a little).  For me, bisexuality is not being a part-time lesbian.  Not that anything is wrong with being a part-time lesbian, but for me, bisexuality is enjoying a man and woman together at the same time.  Maybe I will start a new movement?  I’ve spoken with various women who all claim to be totally bisexual, yet their goal is to get me to commit to a lesbian experience.  I understand why, as most women are already in a relationship with a man and can’t just join another woman and her man for a true bisexual experience.  In fact, both women are usually in the same situation, so rather than deal with men, they instead become part-time lesbians and have a lesbian experience.  I also understand why they would classify themselves as bisexual.  They like men and women, they just like them seperate.  In essence, they are part-time heterosexual and part-time lesbians.  One thing is certain, they are not having bisexual experiences if their female and male partners are not all in the same room. 

With that being said, let me make it clear to the readers, I am bisexual.  When I say bisexual, I mean I am absolutely bisexual.  To be fair, I am also a part-time heterosexual.  Although I got married prior to really finding out who I was on the inside, I wouldn’t stop having sex with my husband now simply because I know I am bisexual and prefer to have him  and another woman rather than us alone.  I do not consider this settling, as I am committed and love him, and I will always do what I need to do to keep Ryan completely happy.  Does this mean I will also accept less than what I really desire  and go have a lesbian experience just to be with a woman?  Absolutely not.  I am not a lesbian.  I am not even a part-time lesbian.  And I am definitely not an intern lesbian working for free to gain experience. 

Do I consider my bond with Ryan the reason I am really into bisexual experiences only?  Absolutely.  For me, no matter how attractive a woman is, the experience would feel empty if my partner in life wasn’t with me.  Do I want to taste women, enjoy women, and be with a woman in every way possible?  For sure, but not enough so that I am willing to cheapen my own experience because I have to come home and talk about how cool it was and how I wish Ryan could have been there.  He is my lover and best friend.   I need him around to truly enjoy my experiences.  I’m not looking for notches on my belt, the same as I am not answering random ads to hook up with random men on the fly.  Women are complicated and I am definitely a woman.  Even though I love sex, I do not sell myself for cheapened experiences just to do it. 

Make sense?

Hypothetically Speaking: The Reality of Us Swinging

SwingersAs we understand it, swinging is one couple having sexual relations with another couple. However, there are grey areas here as some single men are also in the swing lifestyle. Although I’d disagree with this, I’d consider a single man in the “get ass any way I possibly can lifestyle.” If he isn’t sharing or letting someone explore his intimate other, he isn’t swinging. I’ve heard some couples compare the single man in the swinging lifestyle to a parasite. But other than that, the crowd is usually open-minded, as you would have to be to accept other couples into your bedroom. Either way, there are different types of swinging, like there are different types of porn. You have your hard swingers and your soft swingers. Hard swinging is swapping partners, either same or different room. Full intercourse, oral, anal, whatever. Each partner swaps and they enjoy themselves however they like, or however they have set up their own personal boundaries with their partners. Soft swinging is not quite as hardcore, but it is how most swingers start out. Same room sex but you remain with your own partner. There may be some touching of other partners, female on female if the ladies are bi, and possibly oral, but that is a grey area. I’d feel oral crosses over into the hard swinging, but what if it’s just a man eating you out while your partner has sex with you. That isn’t quite like watching your husband watching you suck off another man in front of him. With the different types of oral, different boundaries, oral would still be considered soft swinging by most couples.

With that said, we are lifetime members of but have never met with any couples. We’ve conversed and explored different ideas, but never set up any dates to meet any couple because the idea turns us on more than the actual idea of sharing. We are stingy.

Then came Twitter…

Twitter has allowed us to talk to many amazing people we would otherwise not talk to in real life. What’s even better is we get to delve into their lives via pictures and endless overlapping conversations with 140 characters or less, every letter counts, which in turn either makes you a “parts 2 and 3” tweeter or a succinct one.

With me being bi-curious and Ryan being open-minded, we can talk about our likes and dislikes about the fetishes, preferences, and people in general. Recently we had a discussion about swinging. We both agreed that we would never hard swing. Neither of us have the desire to give ourselves to anyone else. Soft swinging, on the other hand, is something we might consider since there are boundaries and no partner swapping.

With that out of the way, we discussed what we would both be comfortable with.  Ryan has no interest in seeing me suck or fuck another man, AT ALL.  He is open-minded with certain things, but he has no interest in sucking or being fucked by another man.  I understand this.   We are both stubborn, but we’d like to think we are open and very non judgemental. Neither of us would ever settle for less just to get our rocks off. A lifetime of regret isn’t worth 30 minutes of experimentation, and I plan on being with Ryan for my lifetime. It’s this same attitude that keeps either of us from cheating. We both love each other and we can openly talk about our lusts and desires without getting mad at one another. As long as I do not judge him and try to understand, he seems to be okay with opening up with me about different scenarios.

For me, the bi-girl in the other couple could do whatever she wanted with me, but her interaction with Ryan would be limited. Maybe touching him, maybe helping with oral sex, but definitely no penetration. (***this has now changed as I do not mind penetration for small periods of time as long as I am in control of his dick and using it to spoon out her juices and eat her off his dick).  I would let her kiss me with Ryan’s cum in my mouth if she wanted, but I don’t want to see Ryan ever fucking another woman. Ryan has said he is totally okay with that and has explained to me that he would not be offended if me and the girl had little to no boundaries with each other. I would let her do whatever she wanted with me, including me or her putting a strap-on on and working each other’s pussies over. I think most men, including Ryan, wouldn’t have an issue with this. But the bi-woman looking to jump in with a couple is called a “unicorn” for a reason.

As far as couples go, this is pretty simple.  Soft swinging is all we’d consider.    Us girls can play if we get along and want to.  The guys can watch (***we have moved away from the idea of soft swinging, as the idea of being watched turns us both off).   Our own personal boundaries are the same, regardless of the  female or a couple.  We have no interest in seeing the other have oral sex (***this has also changed, as I am okay with Ryan and I eating out a woman together) or sex with another person, but are definitely okay with playful touching and being licked respectfully.    This would be totally up to the other couple, as we understand our boundaries are   pretty constricted.   Otherwise, we would be into same room play and watching the other couple get off while we did the same.  That sounds kinky and fun.

I talked with Ryan today and we both decided this would be a good blog topic. Other than our faces we have been very open with our readers, trying to keep everything as authentic as we can. We aren’t the greatest couple in the world, but we are honest and sincere with our strengths and shortcomings. We may flirt on Twitter, but our love is stronger than the need for retweets. With good communication and strong boundaries it is possible to enjoy flirting and teasing others, but still be very faithful to your spouse.

What do you think?

Originally posted:  Dec, 12, 2012.

***Edited on December 9, 2013.   Look how much has changed in a year?!   Our boundaries have opened a bit but we have abandoned the idea of “soft swinging”.  Although we are open minded enough to understand why some couples do this, we learned that we are not  into being watched or playing in front of another couple.  Ryan isn’t comfortable and I absolutely only have the desire to play with other women.  Instead we have opened up our bedroom to threesomes and looking for a female partner that turns us both on and fits our mold.