Q&A: Please Help, My Boyfriend’s Penis Is Too Big!?

penis is too big“Hey, my boyfriend and I just started having sex a few weeks ago and I immediately noticed he is by far the biggest I have ever had.  It isn’t really that long, but it’s very thick.  So thick that it feels like it is ripping my insides.  He likes it rough and tends to go a bit fast, but I am wondering if it’s possible that some guys are just too big for some women?”

Venice’s Response:   It seems to me that there would be a few factors that you would have to consider:

1)  How much time passes between sexual sessions? For me, even two days makes a difference. Anything longer than two days and it feels as if my tightness has returned to “resting” position.
2)  Are you lubricated enough if at all? It’s certainly possible that the ripping sensation you’re feeling could be from your lips and outer skin being pulled into your hole. If that’s the case, proper lubrication makes all the difference in having an enjoyable experience and ripping to the point that it burns afterwards.
3)  Are you relaxed?  If I’m tense or nervous, I find that I’m not receptive to sex. I will ask for my neck and ears to be kissed (my weak spots!).  Ryan will down and kiss me all over and tease my ass and pussy until I beg him to slide in me. At that point, I am wet and ready to feel him.

Remember:  Women are made to have babies. Even if you never go through natural childbirth, your vaginal canal is meant to stretch and receive a penis (regardless of size) and able to withstand the physical motion of intercourse.

Ryan’s Response:  This is a problem I’ve never really had so I can’t help that much.  I would suggest that if he is too thick ask him to slow down.  Foreplay.  Your vagina will loosen more as you get turned on, as well as naturally lubricate itself better.  So he doesn’t need to slow down just because it’s always better to ease it in, but also because it takes time for a woman to prepare herself mentally for a man to grab her and just slide his hard dick inside her.  Even an average size man needs to start slow.   I’d suggest him giving you oral sex and lathering your inner walls with his tongue.  He also needs to lick around the outer lips all the way to your inner thighs.  I’d imagine that he needs to lick all around the surface area his penis will be rubbing, simply to make it feel as comfortable as possible.  You can also try having oral sex with him, possibly at the same time he is going down on you.  As you suck his penis, do not suck it dry and hard but instead lather it by softly putting your mouth around it and leaving it wet with your spit.  If you have to literally push the saliva out of your mouth onto his penis, do it.  The more you are both lubed up, the better.  You could try coconut oil or any other lube of choice.  Have him place the lube on his fingers and slide it inside your walls.  Once your mind and body are ready, have him move slow for the first 5 minutes of intercourse so your body can get acclimated to his size.

As far as a woman being too small for a man?  I guess mentally, yes, every woman has her preference so I do think maybe some men are too big for women. But physically, any woman can handle a large man if the proper steps are taken and he knows how to use his tool correctly.  At the same time, I’m sure he could use his tool to make the woman as miserable as possible for 30 minutes, if that was his goal.    Know the man.

Q & A: Why Does My Wife Say My Small Penis Is Large?

sex talkRay via Internet:

Hello Venice and Ryan.  I’ve never really emailed a question to a website before but yours seems interesting and I would love your opinion on a certain issue I have been dealing with.

A quick background.  I’ve been married for about 7 years and so far everything seems great.  We both have normal sex drives and usually have sex about 2-3 times a week.  As a kid in the lockerrooms, and later in college, I was always teased about my penis size.  I was on the wrestling team and the guys nicknamed me, “Light Switch.”  As you know, the singlets don’t hide much.   My wife also knows this because we started dating in college.  Although she never teased me, she knew of the nickname.  It never really seemed to bother her.

I’ve also viewed a few articles about the average penis sizes in men all over the world.   I am considerably under most of the averages, except for like Korea.  Too bad I don’t live in Korea (bad joke I know)!   I am unsure if you need my exact size, if so, just email me back.  

Either way, it’s well under average but I have never had problems getting my wife to orgasm.  Most of the time I will make her orgasm prior to intercourse with my fingers or tongue.  Lately, she has been talking dirty in the middle of sex and she started saying things like:  “Oh my god, your cock is huge!”  “You are going to tear me in half with that fucking big dick.”   “I have never seen anyone as hung as you.”

I know this sounds a little wierd but what should I do?  I am unsure if she is teasing me or I really am the biggest man she has ever had.   Why would she say these things?   Neither of us were virgins and she never lived in Korea, or dated a Korean, so I have a hard time believing I am the most hung man she has ever seen.   Your thoughts?


Venice’s thoughts:

Thank you for your question.  I particularly like this one for several reasons.  But first let me explain something – “penis average” reports are subjective in the same way pain is subjective.  My threshold of pain is higher than Ryan’s, but if we present a back problem to a doctor, we will be prescribed the same medicine, even if my pain tolerance is higher.  The standards of measurement are ..well, who KNOWS what the standards are!  For the sake of argument, the measurements of other penises worldwide are irrelevant in your situation.

I understand your frustration and the questions you must have as to how genuine your wife is in calling your cock huge.  In all reality, who cares if she honestly does or doesn’t believe your measurement is longer, wider, etc than any guy she’s been with.  I want to congratulate her personally for figuring out what many women do not do: express to her man that he has the biggest dick she’s ever had.  If I tell a chef, “This is the best tiramisu I’ve ever tasted!” I promise you he will not go home that night and question the deliciousness of the dessert.  Instead, he will relish in the fact that he has satisfied a customer to the point where he has claimed he has tasted nothing better than what he was just served.  The chef will look over his ingredients, preparation, and attempt to recreate the recipe over and over for future customers.  That is, until a food critic says otherwise.

Saying you have the biggest cock she’s ever had makes her a good lover, not a liar; it makes her an awesome wife, not a deceiver.  The more she says this, the more she will believe it and the more it will be true.  She says it to you to boost your ego, which in turn will help you to become a more confident lover.  When you’re having sex, her mind is focused on you and your body, and what you do to her.  Don’t allow your obsession with any hidden agendas on her part take away from the intimacy that you share together.  Your constant looking into the gift horse’s mouth will put thoughts in your head that put a wedge between you two.  Men WANT a woman who tell them their dicks are huge.  Be appreciative that she does it of her own accord.

Ryan’s thoughts:

 These things are always so easy to answer for me.  COMMUNICATION.  Ask her.

I guess for this blog I can write a few assumptions but that’s all they would be, assumptions.  

Does it turn you on to hear how big you are?  Maybe this makes you fuck her better?  Maybe when she mentions how big she thinks your penis is, you get extra excited and it does get bigger?  Maybe she enjoys feeling your excitement when she tells you how big you are?  Maybe it turns her on to fantasize about you being huge?  Maybe she thinks you are huge?  Maybe she is vocalizing what she thinks in her head, and wants you to hear and affirm her thoughts?  Maybe it turns her on more to know you accept you’re huge to her?  Maybe she just wants you to fuck her like you are huge and the alpha of all men?    Attitude.

Let’s say she doesn’t think your dick is huge, but during sex these thoughts pass through her mind.  Her talk is equivalent to role play.  I’ve fucked Venice from behind and pretended I was raping her.   Does that mean she was raped?  Absolutely not.  It’s just random thoughts that pop into our head to make the situation exciting and different.   Good sex is almost all mental.  If she tells herself you have the biggest cock in the world, she can put herself in that situation mentally and absolutely enjoy the idea of a being with a horse cocked man.  A lot of good women do this without their husbands ever knowing.  It’s not a mistake that most happy women feel their man’s size is perfect for them.  Women on marriage websites will brag about their husbands being huge, especially newlyweds.  The first thing these women say if things end up not working out?  “Oh my god, he was tiny.”  Does that mean she was lying?  NO.  When a woman is happy with a man, everything is better, including your dick.  When a woman is happy with you, in her mind, your dick is a redwood tree and she enjoys the idea of being your lumberjack.  When she is unhappy, your dick is a tumbleweed and she prefers nothing more than watching that little dried up shrub to roll on by.   All mental.   Guys do the same thing, whether it be about smells, how good she is in bed, etc.

The mind is a powerful thing.  I do not think women consciously come up with these evil plots to trick men, but because of love, they truly want their spouse to be the man of all men.  I’ve accepted this.  Sometimes Venice will see a large object or a giant penis and immediately whisper in my ear, “that’s small compared to you…..” and she’ll grab my crotch like she is pinching a baby’s cheeks — not reach down and barely be able to hug my mountain of a crotch because it”s so huge she can’t get her arms around it.  However, she is not joking, she absolutely means it.  It’s not true, but she means it.  Her intentions aren’t mean, aren’t evil, aren’t trickery, it’s what she feels.  She is proud of her husband regardless of his dick size, and to let him know, she communicates this with him.  That’s what good women do.   As a good man, don’t question it.  Give her exactly what she wants, a huge cock.  Fuck her like your dick is the biggest thing on earth, attitude is everything.