Q&A: I had a threesome with my boyfriend and his friend and now he’s devastated that I enjoyed myself.

Q&A: I had a threesome with my boyfriend and his friend and now he’s devastated that I enjoyed myself.

I am 24 and my boyfriend is 25.  We have been together for 3 years. We have explored plenty in our sex life, including FMF threesomes which were fun. In the past I was really curious about giving MFM a try but he wasn’t comfortable with that so we didn’t discuss it further.

A few months ago he asked me if I’d be interested in a 3some with his longtime friend. For some context, they always had this weird competitive/friendly rivalry thing going on. My boyfriend straight up admitted that he wanted to prove to his friend that he fucks better. I thought that was a questionable reason to agree to a 3some but he REALLY wanted to do this. He’s the most confident guy I know and I genuinely thought he knew what he was doing.

Fast forward to the 3some. It was by far the best sexual experience I’ve ever had. I was pretty much spoiled from start to finish and my boyfriend was clearly enjoying it too. His friend is physically attractive so that definitely added to the sexual chemistry. At one point he also ate me out and I came a lot (I’ve never orgasmed from receiving oral, I don’t think I ever would). I found the dirty talk super hot as well (he was dominant despite the submissive act) and it turned me on a lot.

At no point were discussed boundaries ever crossed.

The following day my boyfriend seemed to be in complete shock. He didn’t talk to me much and when he did, he made no eye contact whatsoever. Afterwards he became withdrawn and depressed. Like he would stay in bed all day and just stare at the wall or something. Every time I saw him he was literally doing nothing, which is completely out of character.

It’s gotten to the point friends and family asked me what happened to him!

A few days ago I asked him what’s wrong. At first he didn’t want to talk about it but then he confessed that he can’t get over our threesome. He refused to elaborate and just asked me odd questions. If I like his friend, if I think his friend is better in bed etc. I kept saying no to his ridiculous questions but he wasn’t satisfied. He even asked me if I still like him/want to be with him which was just odd.

He’s still morose and I’m worried that this whole thing had a serious impact on our relationship.

So what do I even do in this situation? I don’t understand why he’s so upset when he’s the one who suggested the idea in the first place. Can anyone help explain his thought process?!

Venice’s response to threesome with boyfriends friend

Having threesomes prior to marriage has never been something I supported.   I have always been a strong advocate of opening the door to other people when you are in a committed relationship and you have tried everything under the sun with just the two of you together.  However, some couples may decide to never get married, so I will add that 3 years just isn’t enough time.   There is just too much you can do with one another before adding another person into the mix.  

Let’s move on to the scenario you presented.  It was stupid.  To have a threesome with a guy your boyfriend is competitive with makes no sense at all.   In fact, I’d even suggest that this story sounds totally fabricated.  I say that because a competitive guy isn’t going to allow the friend he is most competitive with to sleep with his girlfriend.  It makes no sense.  The entire idea of being competitive is to have something or do something his friend can’t do.   Unless he was totally over your relationship and this was his exit plan.  I just have a hard time understanding why a competitive guy would want to have a threesome with his friend he is the most competitive with, to show he has sex better.   In the meantime, he is allowing his friend to have his most prized possession?   

Not likely.

If the story is true, stupid on you, stupid on him, and stupid on the friend.  Having threesomes to see who fucks better has to be the silliest shit I have ever heard.  That’s something you do with a hooker, not your girlfriend.

Ryan’s response to threesome with boyfriends friend

So you had a threesome to help your boyfriend prove that he was better at sex than his friend?  And in the process you enjoyed his friend so much that you had a first-time orgasm through oral sex with the friend?    

This is the classic, “be careful of what you wish for” scenario.   Most of the time these scenarios are created as a way to get attention or create some sort of lesson for guys that want a threesome.  Imagine allowing your friend to fuck  your girlfriend so you can show him who fucks better.  Dumb and dumber.