Hand Fetish – Big Hands, Long Fingers

hand fetish
Big hands and long fingers

 When I met Venice, her long slender fingers were gorgeous.  I used to tell her how sensual it made her look.  I still feel the same but since my penis is now a blog model, I have noticed that the large hands make my penis look much smaller.  It reminds me of a porn scene when a woman is stroking a man’s dick and he looks huge.  His veins popping out and his balls look oversized.  As he is about to cum, he reaches down and moves her hand so he can stroke himself for the camera and unload on her face.  All the sudden, his huge cock becomes very average, sometimes even small, with his whole hand covering almost his entire shaft.   I mean, he goes from being stroked with two hands to barely being able to even move back and forth with one of his own hands.   I always get a kick out of this porn illusion.

Anyway, Venice and I were bored at work one day and we started a text conversation.  It all started the night before when I leaned over and asked Venice to put her hand in my lap.  She laughed and said, “What the hell, it is!   Do you think my hands are so big that they feel like a cover laying across you?”   We both laughed.

The next day I sent her a message :

Ryan: Your hands are so big you go to a basketball game and they think you are wearing the huge number 1 glove
Venice: My hands are so big when they called out “left hand yellow” during twister, I put my hand on the sun
Venice: My hands are so big I slapped you on the butt and you had to have your L3 – S2 spine replaced
Ryan: People walk up to you at events and ask where you got the hulk fists
Venice: My hands are so big I was ETs stunt double
Ryan: Arseno Hall said “Damn bitch, you have some big ass fingers”
Ryan: After sex you look over to the side of the bed and say, “give it up for the dog pound” “RUU RUU RUU RUU RUU”
Venice: Things that make you go..hmmmm
Venice: My hands are so big I could scratch your entire back in one stroke
Ryan: You waved goodbye to someone and accidently gave face of the moon a black eye
Ryan: In fact, you waved goodbye to someone and that was the last time they were ever seen.  Goodbye.
Venice: My hands are so big I use a telephone pole to order pizza
Ryan: lol
Venice: My hands are so big I use a paint roller to do my nails
Ryan: And you wear xxxxxl sweaters and use them as gloves in the winter.
Venice: My hands are so big I went to a palm reader and she had to take a cab to see where my life line ended
Ryan: Your palms are so big the palm reader tried to read your lifeline and said
Ryan: OMG, YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE FOR FUCKING EVER
Venice: “Wtf, you are immortal!”
Venice: My hands are so big when I played duck duck goose I smacked the runner from across the circle and said “sit down mf”
Ryan: lol
Ryan: You play slap jack with 20 people at once and never lose
Ryan: Your fingers look like arms
Venice: :O
Venice: My hands are so big you originally had to give me a hula hoop to propose
Ryan: LOL!
Ryan: When you type on your swype QWERTASDFZXYUIOHJKLNBMV QWERTASDFZXYUIOHJKLNBMV QWERTASDFZXYUIOHJKLNBMV QWERTASDFZXYUIOHJKLNBMV QWERTASDFZXYUIOHJKLNBMV QWERTASDFZXYUIOHJKLNBMV
Ryan: I just have to fucking figure out what you mean most of the time ^
Venice: Lol!
Venice: A team of cryptologists from the FBI took 2Weeks to decipher that I wanted it have lunch with you on Friday.
Ryan: When you turn down the tv, it turns the fucking tv up, turns it down, makes the menu screen pops up, brightness, contrast and the mother fucker turns off all at the same time.
Venice: Lol!
Ryan: How you dial numbers (1234567890 1234567890 1234567890) 1234567890 1234567890 1234567890 – 1234567890 1234567890 1234567890 1234567890
Venice: Lol ok ololololol!
Venice: My hands are so big I had the keypad from an arthritic telephone transferred into my cell
Ryan: In grade school people use to play the reflex game where you see if you are fast enough to slap hands
Ryan: Noone ever challenged you.
Ryan: A game of slaps with you was like a death sentence
Ryan: 9 people have died from playing patty cake with you
Venice: Lol!
Venice: Youngest person ever to be tried for involuntary manslaughter
Ryan: LOLOLOL
Venice: My hands are so big I was testing out the water in Thailand and that caused the tidal wave of 1993
Ryan: lol @ tidal wave
Ryan: Your fingers are like loafs of bread
Ryan: I’d like some lettuce and mayo with your thumb and index please
Ryan: Thank you
Ryan: When you wave down a cab, you literally wave down the fucking cab.
Ryan: Destroyed
Ryan: When you hitchhike cars stop all over the fucking world.
Venice: My hands are so big when I sign language you can see it from space
Ryan: lol
Ryan: When you throw up gangsigns out your car window, they are actually drivebyes
Ryan: When you put your hands outside of your window to let the window blow your hand up and down your fucking car takes off and becomes a b52
Venice: When I tap my fingers on my table people in the western union think I’m sending a telegraph
Ryan: When you do jumping jacks, you fly.
Venice: Lol!
Venice: When I throw a football, a puff of air explodes into a sonic boom
Ryan: lol
Ryan: When you performed “stop, in the name of love” at your high school talent show, no one knew it was going to be in 4d.  Everyone left with black eyes and whip lash.
Venice: Nice!
Ryan: They use your hands as forklifts
Ryan: Your fingers shooting the peace sign look like old tv rabbit ears
Ryan: When you shoot the bird…. You do not shoot the bird… you stab the bird in the fucking chest with your middle finger
Venice: Lol!
Ryan: I’m your husband, they call me handy man
Ryan: When we walk in as a couple, everyone calls you HANDsome
Venice: Lol
Ryan: You have to carry two duffle bags to use as your pockets
Venice: When it’s cold and I rub my hands together I start a forest fire
Ryan: LOL!!! OMG
Ryan: Your hands look like catchers mitts
Venice: Lol!
Ryan: When you clap they call it a handing ovation
Ryan: You always get handicap parking
Ryan: Your thumb looks like a boxing glove
Venice: Lol!
Ryan: Your fingers look like your arms have cornrows
Venice: Ewwww!
Venice: I use handcuffs for thumb rings
Ryan: lol
Ryan: You can jack me off, rub my balls, put a finger in my ass, rub my feet, and massage my back all at the same time, with one hand.
Venice: Lol!

We jumped to another topic at this point, maybe another blog?

I have always loved Venice’s hands, of course the jokes were just exaggerations.

TAGS: Big hands, hand fetish, long fingers, finger my asshole, finger ass while getting a blow job, does a finger in the ass feel good, large hands, handjob, hand job, the best hand job ever,

A Beginner’s Guide to Anal Sex

anal sex 01
Mentally ready, I relax myself for entry

A common belief still exists in many women today: anal sex is taboo. I’m not saying all women believe this, I’m not saying anal sex is or isn’t taboo. I’m simply stating that once an idea has been embedded into our culture, there will still be people whose minds cannot be changed. The acceptance of anal sex may be one of those ideas. It has been looked down upon, appreciated by those with an anal fetish and directly connected to homosexual men, creating an even more deep-rooted stigma. Now, anal sex is so common: men with men, women with men, and women with women. I dare you to find a porn out there that have some sort of anal penetration.

Before I start, here’s a little background on my old view on analing. As a young lady, I was taught by society and the media that sex and your body is special, and anal sex was something that girls did that was disrespectful to themselves. I firmly believed it. I was afraid of anal sex, wary of it. I protected my rear end and wouldn’t let anyone near it. I snickered at every prison rape joke, but inside I knew that taking someone’s back end was the ultimate form of disrespect. I took this belief to heart into adulthood, and when I got married, it caused problems. It was hard to let go, and when I did, I vowed to only give it to my husband once a year on his birthday. It was that special to me.

As we grew as a married couple, we started to realize that the limitations we put on each other caused resentment that only builds up. The disgruntled feeling toward anal sex was one of the first walls I knew I had to tear down. My feelings went from “I’m doing this once a year to make him happy” to “This isn’t so bad.” From there I realized that Ryan is my soulmate and the “prized possession” (my ass) is something that only hecan have. My ass, my love, my heart –all belong to my husband. Once I realized this, our sex life became the best it’s been. Now, I no longer give him anal sex to begrudgingly make him happy; I do it because I love him, I want to be close to him, and this is a whole new feeling of fantastic sex.

Today, my husband and I have anal sex 5 or 6 times a week, give or take. Sometimes I even prefer it to vaginal sex because of the sensations and stimulation I feel in my ass. If you’re thinking about trying anal sex but were afraid to, here are a few things to keep in mind: 

anal sex 02
Being well lubed and relaxed is the key

1. Relax your body and mind. If your mindset is still, Anal sex is gross and I’ll never like this, then guess what –you’re going to have a hard time opening up. It doesn’t help to think of your “happy place.” Your happy place is an imaginary (or real) place where you take your mind in order to bear with the atrocities of the current situation you are in. Anal sex should not be something you would rather avoid by pretending to be in a place you’d rather be. Both your body and mind have to accept analing, not regard it as something that must be endured. Don’t tense up; allow his dick to enter you, take pleasure in the textures and different areas being touched for the first time. It will feel uncomfortable, awkward, and maybe even painful at first, but this new sensation will turn into feelings of pleasure.

2. This is not vaginal sex. And no matter how experienced and careful you are, there is always a chance you will get chafed, torn, ripped. Gentlemen, the same goes for you, too! Sometimes I get so into, I don’t notice until I’m washing off. During the last few minutes of sex, I start talking a lot of shit: “Fuck my ass harder,” “Slam your cock into me,” “Show me how deep you want to cum.” It feels so good! Don’t worry though. You will heal in less than 48 hours. But also remember, this is your body and you should think about anal longevity, not living in the moment.

3. Talk to your partner.  You’ve heard that communication is the key to a good relationship. It’s also the key to a successful anal session. I know my husband isn’t a mind reader, so if I have some reservations about anal sex at that moment, I’m sure to let him know. If I’m sore from going to the bathroom, I tell him before we have sex. If during sex I want him to go slow and deep in my ass and not shallow and fast, I tell him. Talk before you start, during, and afterwards. Was it what you expected? What could each of you have done to make it better? Is it better slower or faster? Listen to each other’s questions and answer honestly. If communicating about analing seems like a stupid idea to you, stop analing or one of you will end up with hurt feelings or a sore ass/dick.

4. Use lube.  Lots of it!  Don’t be afraid to lather it on. There’s nothing worse than not being properly lubricated. Because of the little ridges, you may not even see the tiny tears, but you’ll feel them when you wash. And believe it or not, just because you’re lubricated on the outside doesn’t mean you’re lubricated on the inside. You’ll be able to tell you’re dry on the inside lining because your ass hole is able to glide on the penis skin, but the lining feels like it’s being pulled. I find that anal sex is more enjoyable the more lubricated we are.

Keep it within arm’s reach. Sometimes the bottle will roll off the bed, fall of the table, or get lost in the sheets. It’s bad enough to having to stop in the middle of sex, but even worse when the something you’re looking for to help extend the sex goes missing. Don’t have lube on hand? Use spit. If he is open to it and into you, he won’t have a problem sticking his head in and loosening the rim up a bit then sticking his face down on your ass and wetting the inside with his tongue and spit. As a woman, make sure you communicate to your man that it’s okay if he uses his tongue to lube up. You should know when you are clean or not. And because I say “not clean”, that may gross people out. But anal sex isn’t always CLEAN. Which is why I’d suggest only doing this with someone you love. I’d never suggest ass sex to some random dude. Disgusting on him and her.

 

anal sex 03
Anal sex done properly is amazing

5. Once in the ass, stay there. There isn’t anything wrong with his dick going from your mouth to your pussy or from your pussy to your mouth. They’re interchangeable. But once his dick is in your ass, it’s a different story. Sometimes I get carried away when I’m in my sex zone and I put his dick back in me even though his dick head has been in my ass. I try to avoid it, but occasionally I slip up. Put totally intended. A while back I had a urinary tract infection which I believe came from switching from back door to front door. It was an accident, but your body doesn’t care. Unless you like going to the hospital, sitting in the waiting room, getting tested, sitting in the back waiting room, going to the pharmacy, waiting even more, and taking antibiotics for a week, take the proper precautions. It’s anatomically more difficult for a man to get a urinary tract infection because bacteria takes longer for it to travel up his urethra. But it’s definitely possible. While it’s sexy to go from hole to hole to hole to hole, be careful.

6. Positioning. There is going to be so much going on – you’ll be scared, nervous, you won’t know what to expect, you’ll be afraid of pain, you’ll clench up. All these factors will get in the way. I found that being on my back was the best position for me. I noticed the angle was the best for me. It didn’t hit any curves the wrong way and it just seemed to “hurt the least.” As I became more experienced, I started experimenting being on my stomach, me on top reverse cowgirl, both of us standing. Eventually we were doing all the regular/popular vaginal sex positions, only he was in my ass.

At first I wouldn’t ride him. Now it’s my favorite position. I can control my movement 100%, control depth, speed, how it goes in, and how wet your ass is prior to getting it pushed inside yoru body.

I feel doggy style is a more experienced position.  If I was to take a dick in my ass doggy style, without knowing what it felt like prior, I’d hate anal.  I could never relax wondering when it is going in, or how it is going to feel.  Not to mention, bending over doggy style tightens your asshole beyond its normal tightness.  How easy is it to make a woman scream doggy style when having vaginal sex?  How easy is it to poke her insides especialy hard, because you bottom out so much quicker?   Doggy style is a great position, but it’s not for beginners as it does not give the anus the ability to stretch properly.   This is probably the reason most first timers never do it again.  People see anal sex as something you naturally do in doggy style position, when I feel just the opposite.  Anal sex should be done in your traditional missionary position, so the woman  can relax, watch the penis penetrate, and be comfortable with a position we find ourselves in  a lot while having vaginal  intercourse.   We can also grab him, love on him, whisper in his ear, and get into the act, knowing he will take care of us, in a position we are the most familiar. As time goes on, you can do each position, but in my opinion, missionary is the best way to start

7. Be considerate. Guys, this is directed to you. Appreciate what your woman does for you in bed. If or when the time comes when she is without a doubt committed to giving you her back end for sex, remember these things: you still have to work your way in there; don’t just shove yourself in. Take care of her area because if she tears, you will most likely tear, too. Ladies: take care of yourselves. If you’re in pain or uncomfortable, speak up. Anal sex takes practice and patience. But once you’ve both opened up to its pleasures, it may be one of the most satisfying feelings you’ll ever experience.As our society changed, we’ve become more tolerant of unconventional ideas, such as anal sex. I used to be one of those people who used to think boys wearing earrings was strange, but by the time I was in middle school, it was everywhere and it became normal. As an adult, I thought anal sex was something I could never get into. “Things were made to come out of your butt, not in it!” I thought. But it was thoughts like these that kept me from exploring my sexuality and discovering the joys of anal sex.

If this is your first experience, share your story with us!

Photo Shoot Gone Wrong, Rape Gone Right

When we first started with Twitter, we didn’t know how to get followers.  We started following people, but really couldn’t understand how to increase that number.  Eventually we got very lucky by finding @CharlieNoodz, who retweeted a few of our pictures to his thousands of followers.  It’s that kind of promotion that gets small-timers like us the boost that we need.  A month or so later, Charlie announced that he needed a new avi (profile picture) for his other account and asked if anyone was interested.  We wanted to do something to thank Charlie for all he’s done for us and what better way than to help him with his a new avi for @CNooddz2 profile.  I thought it was a contest so I immediately started to brainstorm ideas.  The result was a very tame bondage picture of my hands tied and hanging between my legs (see picture).  Ryan then tied my wrists behind my back and put me on my stomach for an alternate picture in case the first set didn’t turn out right.   Unfortunately, pictures from session #2 didn’t come out as well.  I waited, thinking he was changing out his lenses on his camera to get candid pictures.  Instead he had a surprise for me and put a pillowcase on my head.

If I learned anything from him it was never to ruin a surprise.  I opened my eyes but my hair was all over my face.  Somewhere behind me I could hear shuffling and clicking.  I tried to quietly blow my hair away.  Nothing worked.  I was still lying on my stomach with my hands tied behind my back, my tits smashed beneath me.  My fingers were numb and my wrists were chafed.  My breathing became more labored as my air supply was mostly recycled.  Now I can’t move or see except for the gray shadows drifting behind the pillowcase.  The bed dipped down suddenly to my left and he rolls me over.  I feel him grab under my neck.

“Don’t you fucking move, bitch.”  I’m too scared to answer, but I obey.  He pushes my legs open and slaps my pussy.  I wince from the pain of being slapped in such a sensitive area. He shuffles closer to my face.  Suddenly it feels like someone is hitting me in the face with a baguette, but I realize he’s beating me with his dick.  It’s hard so it really hurts.  He strikes my cheek, nose, mouth, eyes, everywhere, with his heavy cock.  He slaps between my legs again, this time right on my clit.  There’s a little bit of relief as he spits on it and rubs it into my lips.  He grabs me by my neck again and reminds me not to move or I’d regret it.

He yanks the pillowcase off my head and he shoves his thick cock in my mouth.  I feel his head hit my tongue and I open my throat for it to slide all the way down.  “Take that dick you stupid bitch.”  And I do.  I relax my throat and feel him fucking my face.  I gag as he pulls his slimy, wet cock out of my throat, over and over again.  He beats me with his wet penis leaving my hair stuck to my face.  I breathe hard, like I just ran a mile in the summer heat, slightly closing my mouth and relaxing.  He quickly slaps my wet face with his palm and yells for me to open my mouth.  He keeps fucking my mouth, hard and deep.  He drops his hips down hard onto my face.  I cry out for him to stop, but his balls muffle my nose and face.  I make choking sounds each time he pulls out, my pussy getting wetter and wetter.  But he doesn’t know that.

Just then he yanks me by both ankles as he adjusts me until my head is hanging off the bed.  He grabs me by my hair and forces me to swallow his dick again.  Forces?  Not quite.  I open my mouth wide but he can’t tell because he rams it in me like he thinks I don’t want it.  He fucks my face and grinds his balls against my nose.  I can feel the wetness seeping out of my pussy.

He gets up and straddles his ass cheeks over my mouth.  “Lick my ass.”  I run my tongue from his balls and end with my tongue thrust in his hot, sweaty asshole. My hair is matted to my face with spit and sweat.  He climbs off and slaps me a few times across my face before flipping me over again to my stomach.  He’s crouched over me, pulling my hair and arching my body backwards.  “Look at the camera,” he orders.  I look around confused and he slaps me again.  He points to the left.  “It’s over there.  Look at the camera.  Say ‘I’m your dirty slut.’” I mumble it quietly and he stuffs his dick into my mouth again. I’ve lost most of the feeling in my hands as they’re still tied behind my back.

He turns me over on my back and he leans over me in a 69 position.  I feel him work his dick into my mouth.  He starts to fuck my mouth, going deep and hard down my throat.  I relax my mouth and let that fat monster go down.  Stop, I whine to him, knowing he’ll do just the opposite.  He facefucks me at least 10 minutes, maybe longer, before I start feeling a tingle brewing deep in my pussy.  Oh, God, I think to myself.  Here it fucking comes. I try to keep my legs from kicking up as I cum.  My hips turn slightly left and right as I suppress the twitching in my pussy.  I scream out again, hoping the goosebumps on my arms and hardening of my nipples don’t give me away.  My screams fueled his fire, causing him to fuck my face harder and faster.  He doesn’t say a word about cumming, but the tightening of his balls on my nose is undeniable.  Ryan thrusts in me faster and faster, his dick getting rock hard in the last few seconds.  I know he’s about to cum.  He pulls out and shoots his hot load on my lips, my stomach, my chest, my shoulders, my eyes, even up to my forehead.  He scoops up his cum from every spot on my body where it lands and tells me to eat it off his fingers.  He takes the remaining drops on the sheet and smears it on my face.  He stands up and says, “Don’t move.”  I remain still as he walks across the room and into the bathroom.

After about a minute, he returns.  The cum dries on my face making my skin tight and sticky.  He spits on my pussy and slaps it, fingering me with two fingers.  He doesn’t realize I’m wet and dripping. He strokes his cock for a few seconds before plunging it in my slippery pussy.  I start to breathe heavily, but they start turning into moans very quickly.  He pulls out and says, “Eat that pussy off my dick, bitch.”  I open my mouth and swallow him down, tasting my own sweet juices.  He grabs me by the top of my head and says, “Say you love my dick.”  But before I can finish my sentence he slams his dick in my pussy again.  My body is elevated up, allowing his shaft to rub hard on my clit.  Suddenly I start feeling a tingle coming from deep in my pelvis.  He speeds up and begins to unwittingly massage my clit.  I feel my body tensing up.  I fight it hard knowing that Ryan would be so pissed if he knew I turned his fake rape into something I enjoyed.  But I cum so unexpectedly that it even surprised me.  I scream out in ecstasy.  “Shut the fuck up and take my cock.”  I clench his dick repeatedly, but he has no idea I cum for the second time on his pistoning cock.  He props himself up and put both my legs to the left side of my body.  I feel his dick getting harder which can only mean one thing.  His hard cock rubs hard against my bone and it’s almost painful in this position.  I keep still and try to bear the pain for just a few more seconds.  I feel him pull out and stroke his dick before he starts to grunt from his powerful cum.  His second cum explodes onto my thighs and lips.

He regains his composure and carefully stands up.  After he slowly turns me on my side, he finally unties my hands.  I circle my shoulders back and rub my wrists.  Ryan asks me if I was okay.  “Yes,” I answered.

“I love you,” he said and kisses my forehead.

“I love you, too.  Play the video.”

Photo shoot – December 1, Holiday Chocolate Chip Cookies with Nut

We are going to post daily for the next 25 days, our own version of xxxmas.   I am a bit tipsy right now so we may update later with more details.  December 1, 2012.  I make Ryan cum on a cookie so I can taste him and my chocolate chips at the same time.  It was so gooooood.  I wanted to do a second photo shoot just to do it again but he said we had enough shots.

Blame Ryan if you wanted to see more!

Q&A: I have been married 3 years and have never had sex with my wife.

Dilators
Velvi Dilators for Treating Vaginismus

Sam from California

Hello, I am male, 33 years old, and  married my high school sweetheart.   We have been married 3+ years and still haven’t had sex.    Yes, I have never had sex with her.   I do get the occasional hand job, and maybe once every few months she will actually put her mouth on my penis, so I guess I would call that a blow job.   However, I have never had intercourse with her in any way. 
 
She has tried with other men in the past but it was so painful it made her scream and cry.  Eventually she went to her OB and he diagnosed her with Vaginismus.  She has always been too embarrassed to deal with it.  I love her with all my heart and do not want to put her through any unnecessary shame either.   I would like a child so I have suggested we adopt a child to keep her as stress free as possible.   At times though, I get weak and feel like I am really missing something from this relationship, but I don’t want to blame her.  Am I wrong to feel a bit resentful?  

 
Vaginismus, sometimes anglicized vaginism, is the German name for a condition that affects a woman’s ability to engage in any form of vaginal penetration, includingsexual intercourse, insertion of tampons and/or menstrual cups, and the penetration involved in gynecological examinations. This is the result of a reflex of the pubococcygeus muscle, which is sometimes referred to as the “PC muscle”. The reflex causes the muscles in the vagina to tense suddenly, which makes any kind of vaginal penetration—including sexual intercourse—painful or impossible.
Venice Bloggs response: 
It’s disappointing to hear that you guys have been married for so long and have not been successful at achieving a sex life that includes active sex. To be honest, I’ve had to do some researching on what exactly was vagismus was. The consensus seems to echo several key ideas: vaginal pain during intercourse, vagismus can stem from physical trauma to the vagina, psychological factors, and/or history of discomfort during sex. Fortunately, this is a real medical condition that can be rectified with treatment. Ignoring the problem (and, yes, this is a real problem for you both) or believing adoption of a child will make everything better are two of the worst things you can do. That’s like taking Tylenol for pain caused by kidney stones, when really, you need to take out the dang kidney stones. Treating the symptoms and ignoring the disease will end up disastrous.
By not addressing this problem, you are preventing each other from fully enjoying each other in ways every married couple, in my opinion, should. That may sound a little shallow and maybe it is, but I know I need to have physical, sexual contact with Ryan to feel like I am fully connecting with him. Which is why it’s not the same if I perform oral sex on him until he cums when I’m on my period. I can’t imagine living my marriage like I was menstruating 24-hours a day. People need to connect, mesh, get dirty, plain ol’ fuck, to complete the relationship stage. It’s as if you were both stuck in your 17-year-old mind states: ignoring the problem, appeasing your partner by not taking a stand to do what will help you both, and finding ways to mask the dilemma with an equally problematic solution.
Though your wife’s problem is not uncommon, all the information suggests the same: it’s treatable. Talk to your wife and let her know that it will help you grow and strengthen your marriage. Overcoming her condition will open other doors as far as marital or other problems, as well as break down barriers in and out of the bedroom.
Ryan Bloggs response:
Oh man, I could probably type an essay answering this one.  First, if she is too embarrassed to deal with it, how does she even know she has Vaginismus?  My first suggestion is for her to see an OB/GYN and actually get some sort of confirmation she has this ailment.   If she has already done this, how many times have you yourself actually tried to have intercourse with her?   Did she have a boyfriend before you that she tried with and it hurt too bad?  I am sorry I am answering your question with my questions, but it seems like too much is missing here.
As a man, which is the purpose of me and Venice both answering questions, I’d suggest you have a serious discussion with your wife about the importance of sex in your relationship.  I understand this may stress her out, but she needs to decide which stressor is more serious to her .  The stress of an unhappy husband and marriage or the stress of seeing a doctor regarding her condition.  Vaginismus is very treatable, and although it may take a while for her to gradually get used to  the size of your penis, had she started 3 years ago, you both would have been sexually active at this point.
You’ve even suggested adopting a child to ignore the issue altogether.  Is it your plan to be married and raise a family with a woman you’ve never had sex with?   I will never understand this behavior or reasoning.  The foundation to a strong marriage is a great sex life.  If everything is going wrong in your life, the bills aren’t being paid and you are working long hours, the one thing you can control and depend on, is your sex life.   As long as you are both on the same page.  Two people in a marriage can’t control the economy, random stressors, or outside elements that effect a marriage, but they can definitely control their intimacy.  When I am being intimate with Venice, the whole world shuts off around me.  My bubble consists of me and her, her body and mine, our words, our kisses, our bodies melting into each other,  no matter what is around me.  I feel the following statement has became a bit cliche, but women want an Alpha male.   Everything in  your post suggests that you do not mind being her good little boy, even if her condition is serious.   I say that carefully, because I do not want to mock women that suffer from Vaginismus, but I do know that your wife doesn’t suffer from Mouthismus.  Your comment regarding her putting her mouth on your penis every few months tells me that you really are bitter deep down inside and you are taking whatever it is you can get from her sexually.  If your wife wanted to be intimate with you, she would have went to the doctor’s office 3 years ago.   If she was so embarrassed but wanted to please you, she’d satisfy you orally much more than just every few months.  That is absolutely ridiculous.   There are also other options, such as having anal sex, which we have posted about on this blog numerous times.  I am sure her anus functions properly, so she is capable of pleasing you this way if she wanted.  Gay men also have Vaginismus, it’s called a penis hole, but they still seem to have great sex lives.  There are other holes besides the vagina that feel amazing.  I really doubt the lack of sex after 3 years has anything to do with Vaginismus.
Man up.  If her condition is serious, get her to her OB/GYN so she can work her way into at least trying intercourse with you.   Do not suggest adopting kids, as this behavior suggests that you are okay with never have sex with her.  Are you okay with that?
Also, you both need to see a marriage counselor and a sex therapist, this one is way beyond my capacity.  3 years is habit forming.  She possibly has ruled out sex in her life forever.   Not good.