Threesome Memoirs – My Bisexual Awakening

Threesome Memoirs: Table of Contents


Some of these memoirs / articles may seem like I am repeating previous ideas, but I wrote each memoir seperate while we were searching for the right female partner for a threesome.  As of this writing, I have found a partner and have enjoyed the wonderful experience of a threesome.  Prior to the experience, we did not want to publish articles about our journey because we were uncertain of the outcome. 

Having a threesome partner, who is also a friend can get a bit confusing.  I started out my journey knowing I did not want a lesbian experience, which is really me and another woman alone in a room exploring each other until our tongues went numb.  This was never my goal, as I am a committed wife and my fantasies were focused on women, but not without my husband there. 

Throughout the years there have been times I would watch different videos with Ryan and the ones that interested me the most were the bisexual scenes.  The idea of two women enjoying each other while a penis is in the corner waiting is my ultimate fantasy.  Prior to Ryan, I never really paid much attention to pornography.  At first, I was really only comfortable watching lesbian scenes.  In hindsight, I believe this had more to do with the safety idea of not worrying about his reaction to me seeing another penis that wasn’t his.  Not that I wanted to see another penis, but I just felt more comfortable watching porns that didn’t have a dick in them.   I wanted to be the pure wife I felt I was.  Also, I was a woman and I do feel, unlike men, I just don’t get off watching a man fuck a woman.  I can get that whenever I want.  I can see that whenever I want.   The opportunities for a woman to go out and just hook up with a random guy is endless.  The reason why it’s so hard for men to find these random hook ups?  Most women just aren’t into these fantasies and would rather be emotionally attached prior to having monogamous sex.  If we wanted monogamous porn sex, we’d find a man, marry him, and then fuck him like we’re porn stars.  Which is what I did.

The point is, lesbian sex turned me on, as this was something I’d never experienced and couldn’t get each day, while heterosexual scenes did nothing for me.  Most women just aren’t interested in some guy fucking some some random girl.  Don’t believe me?  Go search craigslist for real random  women searching for random men.  After you get bored of trying to find a real ad, check out the ads for random men searching for random women.  

As a woman, lesbian scenes piqued my interest.  I grew up thinking this was forbidden and that I’d be laughed at for wanting another woman.  I would have  been deathly ashamed if I would have been caught watching a lesbian porn.  My attraction was absolutely there, but I felt shame.  No matter how attracted to women I was, my attraction to men absolutely trumped.  Nothing can replace the feeling of totally being taken by a real man, especially when you love the guy.   Was I bisexual?  I didn’t think so, because I didn’t want to have lesbian sex and I have only been with one man for the last 17 years.

What took my fantasies even further, is watching two women enjoy each other, then a man came in the room with his pretty groomed dick and let both women use his cock as a toy for them to enjoy.  This idea interested me much more than two women using a plastic double ended dildo and moaning on each side of the bed pretending to orgasm.  The best of both worlds.  A real live and breathing cock and a real live and breathing vagina.   In fact, this idea is what took our relationship to the next step.  Yes, I would love to fuck a woman, but only if my man was there with me.  Did he have to be involved?  With me, yes.  With the other woman?  No.  This was what Ryan and I agreed with when we decided to try a “threesome.”  The positives were, I’d find out how attracted to women I really was, if I was comfortable in the situation, and if the experience was something I wanted to do again.  The negatives, I’d actually prefer a threesome with a man and woman I really have feelings for, not just a sleezy one night stand.  Everything else is just settling or baby steps.