Naughty Selfies – All Your Base Are Belong To Us

cpapNaughty Selfies – All Your Base Are Belong To Us ( Marking Her Territory )

I got a text message today from Venice that said she needed to go home to pick up paperwork. She works 2 jobs so she can’t always remember to grab what she needs before she leaves in the morning. I acknowledged her and went about my work day. About an hour later I looked at my phone and realized that when she went home, she also decided to mark her territory. Exhibit 1: The photo to the left is my CPAP mask.  Obviously that isn’t just my CPAP mask, because Venice decided to hold it up to her crotch and tag the photo with, “Sniff that lolllll.”

PillowI would call this behavior unusual or her being extra horny and cute, but really, this is just her personality in a nutshell.  A little bit of “fucking with me”, a little bit of making me laugh, a little bit of horny, and a lot of making sure I know that there is nothing in our house that she won’t rub her vagina on at any given time…and I just have to live with that idea. Exhibit 2: My pillow. This photo was captioned “Take that, memory foam pillow!!” 

ChairAnd since she has decided to be funny today, I decided to add Pee-Wee Herman popping out of her vagina for no other reason that I find it hilarious.  She will too. What better way to cover up her little slit than with Paul Reubens.  Exhibit 3: My new computer chair. This photo was captioned “New chair smell.”  

She then followed up these photos with random shots of her showing off her Who-ha in different areas of the house.  I admit, if it wasn’t Monday, I would probably say this was the most perfect day in the world.  I can’t wait to go home and get to sleep tonight with my pillow and CPAP mask on!!!! Yay!

*PS: She woke me up last week and said, “Sorry, you can’t wear your robe this morning, I peed on it.” No explanation, no rhyme or reason, just peed on my robe for fun I suppose. That’s my girl.

Q&A: My Boyfriends Balls Smell Awful, Even After Showering

balls smellMy boyfriend’s balls smell so bad. He showers every day and washes himself down there but it doesn’t seem to help. He sweats a lot in general so I asked him to start using talcum powder but that hasn’t helped at all.

It’s so bad that when he does a load of laundry and some of his boxers are in there, everything comes out smelling like his balls. Kind of a musky sweet vinegary scent. It’s nasty. The laundry is hanging up to dry in the bedroom right now and I had to open a window because the entire room now smells like his balls.

If he scratches or touches his balls, his hand smells disgusting after. Sometimes we are cuddling an watching a movie and I say “did you just scratch your balls? your hands smell” and he says yes.

I’ve seen him wash his junk in the shower and it seems like he does a pretty good job: he lathers soap everywhere with his hands (even in his butt crack) and washes thoroughly. But even right after showering, there is a slight funk still there.

This is my first sexual relationship so maybe that’s normal?

I’m starting to think maybe he has some sort of fungal or bacterial issue going on? I really really don’t think he will go to the doctor about this because he’s too proud and that’s an embarrassing issue.

Is there anything else we can try before I beg him to see a doctor? Maybe simply washing with soap isn’t enough? Should I buy him a washcloth? Some sort of antibacterial soap?

Any advice would be great.

Venice’s response:
We all sweat, but some more than others and in higher, more voluminous concentration of “musk.” Is odor normal? Yes! We’ve all got our own odor, scent, musk…whatever you want to call it – that is just as unique to us as a fingerprint. When I get home from work and give Ryan a hug, he knows my scent. I don’t work outdoors; I stay in an air conditioned building all day. When my daughter borrows my clothes, she’ll often say, “This shirt smells like you, mom.” And I feel that way about them. I know their smells when I hold them, when they kiss me, when they walk past me.

However, by the way you describe it, your boyfriend is just too much for you to handle. There are steps you can take to keep this odor in your living area down to a minimum. Grooming and shaving can help with odors. Make it an event and shave his balls. Not only will it help with the smell, but shaving itself is done by lathering up the area with soap, and then getting a good clean scrape of the area with a razor to get rid of the hair. You then follow up with a thorough rinsing. I never feel more fresh than when I am newly shaved because I spend more time than usual in that area to really get it prettied up.  I would also try to wash his clothes as soon as he is done wearing them as the odor will linger. I’ve also heard that changing your diet can help, i.e. cutting down on spicy and/or flavorful foods, red meats. From experience, I found that foods with fewer ingredients were less likely to upset my stomach and therefore keeping my stomach more “clear.” The same goes for red meat. I don’t know why, but chicken does not have the same effect on me.

Because our bodies have so many crevices and sweat glands, grooming can be even harder for someone like your boyfriend. But it may not even be his fault. It could be a medical condition that neither of you are aware of which is why it is difficult for you to fix. Keep a log of the methods he’s tried to combat this problem and see a doctor, if this is really something that you both feel is beyond your control.

Ryan’s response:
If my balls smelled like vinegar I’d see a doctor immediately. That’s serious business in my book! I can nearly cut off my finger and won’t go to the doctor because who really needs 10 fingers anyway right?  I can get my leg caught in the lawn mower and still try to walk it off. Who really needs two legs? I’ll just buy a pogo stick and hop around. But if there is a problem with my balls, smell or otherwise, I am going to the doctor immediately. No pogo stick is going to replace those.  I do not want anything wrong with my package and I like to think I take great care of it. Have him visit a doctor to see what is going on. Other than dipping his balls in bleach or spraying his nuts with Febreze, I really do not see an easy fix to your problem if soap is not working.

Anie’s Diary – Baby Steps

About Anie: Anie is an attractive married woman that has came out to her husband that she is bisexual and wants to enjoy a threesome with another woman with him. She has only been married for 3 years. Although she would love to have a threesome with her husband, it isn’t that easy. So far she has found her first girlfriend, but the other girl isn’t interested in a threesome. For those of us in this open lifestyle, this is a very familiar situation. It’s possible the other girl also wants Anie to join her in her own threesome with her male counterpart, which Anie also isn’t interested in. Her blog will clarify and fill us in on all the trials and tribulations of a woman looking to enjoy both sides of being bisexual, in one bedroom, with her husband.  Stay tuned and read the blogs below. All Anie’s blogs will start as followed:  “Anie Diary”

diarySo we went… The night was absolutely perfection.

Even with a couple set backs I was determined to not let that stop us. We get there and I’m feeling super sexy and slightly tipsy as we FINALLY go through the door. We were greeted by friendly people. They asked if we’ve been here or any other swingers club before. We said no this was our first time. They walked us through the rules which on a Saturday night we knew full well it was couples and single females only. Which made me feel comfortable. A guy took our coats and escorted us on a tour of the facility. I’m glad we arrived early for this. Soon as we turned the first corner we see a couple engaging in a MMF threesome, Hub reaches out for my hand, at the time I thought he just wanted me close to him. But I found out later he was nervous, he looked over at me and for the first time I was the one that was cool as a cucumber. For some reason last time I was nervous just going through the door and Hub was chill; this time once we passed the threshold the atmosphere immediately relaxed me. Being surrounded by open and free sex is totally natural for me. So I truly felt in my element. The gentlemen at the front desk continued our tour of the various rooms and the clubs amenities. He shows us which rooms are private, semi private and totally open. Showed us the toys in each room, stock of condoms that are readily at your disposal, the showers, bathrooms, multiple televisions with various types of porn being displayed, and 2 huge dance floors. We finally get upstairs where music is pumping, and we see couples and groups engaging in conversation and various sexual acts. The place is BYOB so we brought a bottle and they add your mixer and you just tip the bartender. It was perfect. While Hub got our drinks situated, I scoped out a seat. The upper level had a large dance floor, with pole in the middle and the walls were lined with with sofas. Oh also a buffet with finger foods, PERFECTION??.

Continue Reading Anie’s Diary – Baby Steps

For the love of Dollar Stores

dollar billLet me begin with a breakdown of the different types of dollar stores because although they have the word dollar in their names, they vary in ways that will make me choose one over the other, depending on what I need.

The Dollar Tree – An American of discount that sells items for $1 or less. Less! I once bought a bag of Christmas gift bows, a mini gingerbread flavored candle, and 100 Christmas tags for 10 cents each. They’re a Fortune 500 company believe it or not. They have about 13,600 stores in the U.S. and Canada.


  • No tricks. You never have to ask if something is really $1, unlike other “dollar” stores.


  • Very few name brands. This may be a turn-off for a lot of people, but come on, it’s a dollar store. I estimate that 90% of the brands they carry are those I’ve never heard of.
  • You can’t trust the quality of certain items.  Examples below.
    • Electronics – stay away from Mini Portable Headphone Speakers that you plug into your phone. They will NOT boost the volume of anything. It actually worsens it.
    • Foods, health & beauty, and other things that you (may) ingest. I have a good feeling about our Food and Drug Administration standards, but sometimes I believe these off-brand products do not go through the same rigorous quality assurance testing that the big boys do. I can’t prove it, but I am following my gut on this one.
  • Randomness. That unheard of Matt Dillon movie he did before he got famous? Part 2 of that movie is at The Dollar Tree. The fourth book of the “Left Behind” series? There are eight copies of just that one book. That’s it.

Best Dollar Tree deals:

Continue Reading For the love of Dollar Stores

Q&A: My Husband Wants To Eat An Apple That Sits In My Vagina All Day

apple-or-a-couple_2018271aQuick back story. Our relationship hasn’t been quite ideal, and in hopes of trying to save it, and spark some flames, I agreed to do whatever my husband wanted to help spice things up again.

Recently, he asked me to stick different things in my vagina, like apples, pears, carrots, etc.. and keep in there all day so that he could eat them at night when he came home from work.

I have gone along with it, thinking it would be something like a one time thing or so, but its been almost two months, and he shows no signs of wanting to stop.

I am not sure if anyone else has done this, and if so, what was you r experience? One of my concerns is, his and my health, can this make him or I sick? The fruits we buy are organic, and I spend a good deal cleaning them thoroughly. apple vagina apple vagina

Venice’s response:
Actually, although this is the first of me hearing of this, I think it’s a pretty neat idea. Anything that a couple does to reinvigorate their relationship should be something that they both embrace and agree to doing. Ryan and I discuss intimacy/sexual ideas and we are both pretty quick to answer “yes” to each other, sometimes without getting all the details. But that’s how we operate.

It looks like you’re taking the proper precautions with buying organic and cleaning the edibles thoroughly. I’ve seen a lot of pictures that showed people sitting on banisters, using cell phones, baseball bats, gear shifts, and animal penises for vaginal pleasure – all questionable and/or illegal. I encourage staying away from those types of objects.

If it’s been several months and you haven’t gotten sick, you must be doing something right with how you’ve gone about this with you and your significant other. My only concern (to anyone curious in trying this), is to “build up” an immunity to the pH and acidity of the fruits and vegetables used. If I were to do this, I would definitely use organic foods for health reasons (insecticides). I would clean it thoroughly with water (no “vegetable wash”). I would use small portions with smoothed edges and no corners. Lastly, I would work my up to a full day, probably by doing a fruit insertion sometime after lunch, if things go well, add an hour every few days. That’s how I would do it.

Bon appetite!

Ryan’s response:
The sugars from the apple can be a good source for the bacteria in your vagina to grow, which will throw off your vagina’s natural pH balance.  This can cause Bacterial Vaginosis, urinary tract infections, or yeast infections.  This doesn’t even include the possible contaminants that may be on the actual skin of the fruit from being handled prior to you purchasing it.

I have no idea how healthy it would be for him though, to eat a fruit that you have held in your vagina all day. I’d assume keeping a fruit at body temperature for a full day, just wouldn’t be healthy. That sounds like the perfect environment for bacteria to grow, but I am not farmer.

With all that being said, I’d do it. I’d love to eat an apple that Venice kept in her body all day. I’m pretty sure and apple wouldn’t fit or be comfortable at all though, so maybe a lollipop that sits inside her all day. I find that idea extremely erotic and intimate. I find anything that may be risky or uncommon a bit sexy and tempting. It makes me want to test myself to see how much I love Venice. As dumb as that sounds, that is why we do so many things that others find unusual. I think it would be worth the risk of getting sick just to try it once.

That probably isn’t the best answer in the world, but sexy is dirty, and we do all types of dirty things with the person we love because it’s fun and intimate. The more crazy it gets, the closer you two get. The rest of the world almost gets locked out, because you’ve done something most of the world would never try. apple vagina