50 Cent’s Opening Pitch of a Mets Game – Worst Pitch Ever

50 CentRyan: Go to YouTube and look up “50 Cent first pitch Mets.” Prepare to laugh. Then, once you see that and laugh, go to Google images, lol

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Venice: lolololol omg. He was even FACING the batter and STILL managed to throw that motherfucker like a foul ball.

Ryan: LOL.  Now look at the pictures. He is so girly. Has he never thrown a fucking rock in Queens, New York? Has he never thrown a newspaper? Has he never finished a piece of gum and thrown it down the road or onto a roof? Has he never fucking thrown anything in his entire fucking life? A football? A frisbie? A bag of potato chips to his boys? His car keys to his chick? What’s even crazier is, inside his first album cover, he is holding a fucking bat. You’d think he’d be able to toss a fucking ball. Tonight, I will give a baby a fucking ball. A baby who has never thrown anything but her bottle across the room and she will still pitch better than that.

Venice: I know lolololol. You can tell he has never thrown a thing in his life.

Ryan: This fucking guy probably has an allergic reaction even when he watches Game of THRONES.

Venice: lol. His grandma probably called him up after seeing this pitch and demanded he give back the THROW blanket she bought him for Christmas.

Ryan: AHAHAHA. She still has stains on the rug and walls from when he was a kid and used to throw up fucking sideways.

Venice: He probably throws up in 90 degree angles and hits the walls behind him even though his head is hanging in a toilet.

Ryan: He used to throw down with his homies and always hit his own boy that was standing next to him.

Venice: Vegas would never ask him to throw a fight.

Ryan: Fight? You can tell he couldn’t throw a fucking punch if his life depended on it. Imagine him throwing a party though?

Venice: He’d throw a party and give directions to his house… which leads everyone two blocks away to the left of his home, at some cameraman’s house.

50 cent batRyan: Ahahaha. The dude seriously throws like a sissy.

Venice: The dude obviously didn’t pitch growing up. Must be a catcher.

Ryan: Ahaha. You better stop with that shit. This is 50 cent we are talking about. You’re going to end up staring down the barrel of a gun….

Venice: And I’d never feel safer! LOLOL

Ryan: Hahaha. If he was aiming at the wall 20 feet away from you though?

Venice: Fucking duck, you’re in trouble then.

Ryan: Ahahahahahahaahahaha.

Ryan: How are we supposed to believe he was on the corner “pitching rocks to the fiends.”

Venice: Best drug dealer ever. The cops could never catch him pitching rocks directly to anyone.

Ryan: Ahahaha oh my god.

Ryan: There goes his career. He will be remembered for that pitch.

Venice: For sure

Ryan: The pitch went viral before the game was in the 3rd inning. No bullshit.

Venice: lmaoooo!  Sad! 50’s pitch went viral before the end of the Star Spangled Banner sang by 3rd grader Lindsey Jones from Queens Elementary.

Ryan: lol. It went viral before the ball hit the reporter standing 30 feet away from the plate

Venice: It went viral before Fiddy even had the chance to think “Aww haiil naw”

Ryan: The ball accidentally hit a kid tweeting about the pitch in left center field

Venice: lolol! It was like “Oh shit…here it co…” send tweet

Ryan: “OMG, you should see how bad this fucking pitch 50 just thre…”

Ryan: Next tweet. “Fuck, just got hit by the ball.”

Venice: Upside down sit-ups can’t fix that weeble-wobble pitc–” tweet sent

Ryan: PLEASE 50, NEVER EVER EVER EVEREVEVEVEVEEVERE EVER do a drive-by. For the love of little kids on tricycles EVERYWHERE

Venice: For the love of little kids on tricycles EVERYWHERE <– not necessarily “everywhere,” but at least in the tri-county area minimum.

Ryan: Haha.

Ryan: 50 is a humanitarian. He saw a mosquito with malaria on the camera man to the very far left and changed his mind about the pitch and decided to save him.

Venice: 50 was pitching to the bat boy

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Male Genital Piercing – Pros and Cons

piercing 3Male Genital Piercing – Pros and Cons

I’ve pierced my ears, nose, tongue, lip, nipple, ball sac (Lorum), penis (Frenum), and guiche.  The only one I have left, is my nipple.  For me, the nipple was the most painful, with the tongue being a close second.  The tongue is the only piercing I took out within the first month.  I hated it.  It may have had something to do with me only getting it because Venice asked me to, or the long healing process and having to change my entire eating habit.  I am a fast eater, but with a tongue ring, that wasn’t happening.

Fat boy gotta eat.

Either way, none of them were that bad, but the genital area piercings were the least painful.  Maybe because by nature the penis squeezing it’s way into the tightest areas on a human body and rubbing back and forth for 1000s of pumps a night, or the years of grabbing your cock and squeezing as hard as you can and yanking until you cum all over the place.  As scary as it seems, a needle is no match for the penis skin.  Now, with that said, all my piercings were skin piercings, not through the head (Ampallang, Apadravya, etc) or down the urethra (Prince Albert).  I personally have no interest in these types of piercings, but I’d assume they were much more painful than the Frenum Ladder, Lorum,  and Guiche.

Since I have removed all my genital piercings I decided to list my pros and cons.  I believe I did a blog before regarding the genital piercings, so some of my opinions may have changed.

Continue Reading Male Genital Piercing – Pros and Cons

Threesome Memoirs – Tasting His Cum On Her Pussy

2 pussiesSo I planned a date with one of my girlfriends that I haven’t really seen in a while.   When I say plan, I really had no plan at all.  I just wanted to fuck her.

When she came over Ryan was in the shower.  I really don’t get too excited over the idea of one-on-one experiences but Ryan did tell me prior to taking a shower that I didn’t have to wait for him.  My girlfriend didn’t care regardless, because as soon as she saw me she grabbed my head and pulled me in to kiss her.  She back walked me into my own bedroom and tried to scoot me up against the bed, but I turned her around and laid her down first.  Yes, we were fighting for position to see who wanted to eat whose pussy the most.  I won.

I stripped her clothes off and mounted her body.  I took off my top and let my breasts hang in her face.  She greedily sucked on my nipples like a newborn baby.  I left my panties on and slid my body off the bed so I could stick my face in her pussy.  I loved it.

Ryan came out of the bathroom behind me with nothing but a towel.  That quickly fell to the floor when he saw his wife eating out another woman on the bed.  He didn’t hesitate to get down on his knees and start kissing on my ass while my face was buried in another woman’s crotch.  I felt my panties slide down my legs, then felt Ryan’s warm slick tongue slide inside my pussy.  I tried to keep eating her pussy but I guess I was more horny than I thought.  The sensation of Ryan’s tongue forced me to stop eating pussy.  I closed my eyes and laid my head on my girlfriend’s inner thighs so I could relax and enjoy the  feeling of Ryan’s tongue fucking my slit.

I felt Ryan slowing down and start to lift his head off my body so I turned around and said, “You know better than that.”

Ryan looked at me smiling and replied, “Did I forget something?”

I grabbed Ryan’s face and arched my back so my ass hole was in his face.  I then pulled him into my body and smothered his mouth and nose with my ass cheeks.  I responded, “You don’t come play until you’ve eaten my pussy and my ass, Ryan.  You know better.”

Ryan moaned, loving what he just heard.  He loves my ass hole totally.  I felt his tongue circling my anus rim and I decided to put my girlfriend’s pussy back in my mouth.  As Ryan would dart his tongue deep in my body, I would moan and squeeze my rim as hard as I could so I could trap his face in my dirty ass.

Continue Reading Threesome Memoirs – Tasting His Cum On Her Pussy

Q&A: Please Help, My Boyfriend’s Penis Is Too Big!?

penis is too big“Hey, my boyfriend and I just started having sex a few weeks ago and I immediately noticed he is by far the biggest I have ever had.  It isn’t really that long, but it’s very thick.  So thick that it feels like it is ripping my insides.  He likes it rough and tends to go a bit fast, but I am wondering if it’s possible that some guys are just too big for some women?”

Venice’s Response:   It seems to me that there would be a few factors that you would have to consider:

1)  How much time passes between sexual sessions? For me, even two days makes a difference. Anything longer than two days and it feels as if my tightness has returned to “resting” position.
2)  Are you lubricated enough if at all? It’s certainly possible that the ripping sensation you’re feeling could be from your lips and outer skin being pulled into your hole. If that’s the case, proper lubrication makes all the difference in having an enjoyable experience and ripping to the point that it burns afterwards.
3)  Are you relaxed?  If I’m tense or nervous, I find that I’m not receptive to sex. I will ask for my neck and ears to be kissed (my weak spots!).  Ryan will down and kiss me all over and tease my ass and pussy until I beg him to slide in me. At that point, I am wet and ready to feel him.

Remember:  Women are made to have babies. Even if you never go through natural childbirth, your vaginal canal is meant to stretch and receive a penis (regardless of size) and able to withstand the physical motion of intercourse.

Ryan’s Response:  This is a problem I’ve never really had so I can’t help that much.  I would suggest that if he is too thick ask him to slow down.  Foreplay.  Your vagina will loosen more as you get turned on, as well as naturally lubricate itself better.  So he doesn’t need to slow down just because it’s always better to ease it in, but also because it takes time for a woman to prepare herself mentally for a man to grab her and just slide his hard dick inside her.  Even an average size man needs to start slow.   I’d suggest him giving you oral sex and lathering your inner walls with his tongue.  He also needs to lick around the outer lips all the way to your inner thighs.  I’d imagine that he needs to lick all around the surface area his penis will be rubbing, simply to make it feel as comfortable as possible.  You can also try having oral sex with him, possibly at the same time he is going down on you.  As you suck his penis, do not suck it dry and hard but instead lather it by softly putting your mouth around it and leaving it wet with your spit.  If you have to literally push the saliva out of your mouth onto his penis, do it.  The more you are both lubed up, the better.  You could try coconut oil or any other lube of choice.  Have him place the lube on his fingers and slide it inside your walls.  Once your mind and body are ready, have him move slow for the first 5 minutes of intercourse so your body can get acclimated to his size.

As far as a woman being too small for a man?  I guess mentally, yes, every woman has her preference so I do think maybe some men are too big for women. But physically, any woman can handle a large man if the proper steps are taken and he knows how to use his tool correctly.  At the same time, I’m sure he could use his tool to make the woman as miserable as possible for 30 minutes, if that was his goal.    Know the man.

Bondage Benefits: BDSM Practitioners Healthier Than ‘Vanilla’ People

by Stephanie Pappas of  LiveScience

handcuffsDespite the fact that their sexual preferences are listed in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as potentially problematic, people who play with whips and chains in the bedroom may actually be more psychologically healthy than those who don’t.

A new study finds that practitioners of bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism, or BDSM, score better on a variety of personality and psychological measures than “vanilla” people who don’t engage in unusual sex acts. BDSM is a sexual practice that revolves around those four fetishes.

BDSM is listed in the DSM-5, the newest edition of the definitive psychiatrist’s manual, as a paraphilia, or unusual sexual fixation — a label that has caused controversey between kinky communities and psychiatrists, who themselves are mixed on whether sexual predilections belong in the catalog of mental disorders. As written, the DSM-5 does not label BDSM a disorder unless it causes harm to the practitioner or to others.  

Kinky controvers.

Nevertheless, some psychiatrists see the inclusion of BDSM and other kinks in the manual as stigmatizing, particularly because studies have failed to show evidence that enjoying sex with a side of pain is linked to psychological problems. The new study, published May 16 in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, finds that, in fact, BDSM practitioners may be better off psychologically than the general public.

BDSM practitioners “either did not differ from the general population and if they differed, they always differed in the more favorable direction,” said study researcher Andreas Wismeijer, a psychologist at Nyenrode Business University in the Netherlands who conducted the research while at Tilburg University.

Wismeijer did not set out to study the psychological health of BDSM aficionados. His research typically focuses on the psychology of secrets and secrecy. A chance meeting with the founder of the Netherlands’ largest BDSM Web forum convinced him the group might make an interesting study population to look at how secrets are kept and who keeps them.

Wismeijer and his colleagues put out a request on the forum for people in the BDSM “scene” to take a variety of psychological questionnaires online. They also sought participants who didn’t do BDSM via a women’s magazine website, a personal secret website and a university website.

Healthy fixation?

None of the participants knew what the surveys were about, other than they were on “human behavior.” All told, 902 BDSM practitioners and 434 vanilla (non-BDSM) participants filled out questionnaires on personality, sensitivity to rejection, style of attachment in relationships and well-being.

The researchers chose these baseline measures because previous research on those in the BDSM community has focused on dire outcomes — whether they’re more likely to have mental disorders or report rape and abuse compared with the general public. (They aren’t, studies have found.)

The new results reveal that on a basic level, BDSM practitioners don’t appear to be more troubled than the general population. They were more extroverted, more open to new experiences and more conscientious than vanilla participants; they were also less neurotic, a personality trait marked by anxiety. BDSM aficionados also scored lower than the general public on rejection sensitivity, a measure of how paranoid people are about others disliking them.

People in the BDSM scene reported higher levels of well-being in the past two weeks than people outside it, and they reported more secure feelings of attachment in their relationships, the researchers found.

Of the BDSM practitioners, 33 percent of the men reported being submissive, 48 percent dominant and 18 percent “switch,” or willing to switch between submissive and dominant roles in bed. About 75 percent of the female BDSM respondents were submissive, 8 percent dominant and 16 percent switch.

These roles showed some links to psychological health, such that dominants tended to score highest in all quarters, submissives lowest and switches in the middle. However, submissives never scored lower than vanilla participants on mental health, and frequently scored higher, Wismeijer told LiveScience.

“Within the BDSM community, [submissives] were always perceived as the most vulnerable, but still, there was not one finding in which the submissives scored less favorable than the controls,” he said.

Sexual health

The study is somewhat limited by a self-selecting response pool and by the fact that BDSM practitioners could have been answering in ways to make themselves look better and avoid stigma, Wismeijer said — though the fact that the participants didn’t know the reasons for the study ameliorates that concern somewhat. The findings are reason for mental health professionals to take an accepting approach to BDSM practitioners, Wismeijer said.

“We did not have any findings suggesting that people who practice BDSM have a damaged psychological profile or have some sort of psychopathology or personality disorder,” he said.

Wismeijer isn’t exactly sure why BDSM practitioners might be psychologically healthier than the general public. They tend to be more aware of their sexual needs and desires than vanilla people, he said, which could translate to less frustration in bed and in relationships. Coming to terms with their unusual sexual predilections and choosing to live the BDSM lifestyle may also take hard psychological work that translates to positive mental health, he said.

One study alone shouldn’t determine whether a condition is placed in the DSM or not, Wismeijer said, but added that combined with other research, the new findings suggest BDSM is better seen as a lifestyle choice, if a slightly strange one.

“I’m not so convinced that BDSM should be placed within the DSM-5,” he said.