Ryan: Go to YouTube and look up “50 Cent first pitch Mets.” Prepare to laugh. Then, once you see that and laugh, go to Google images, lol
<Google Break>
Venice: lolololol omg. He was even FACING the batter and STILL managed to throw that motherfucker like a foul ball.
Ryan: LOL. Now look at the pictures. He is so girly. Has he never thrown a fucking rock in Queens, New York? Has he never thrown a newspaper? Has he never finished a piece of gum and thrown it down the road or onto a roof? Has he never fucking thrown anything in his entire fucking life? A football? A frisbie? A bag of potato chips to his boys? His car keys to his chick? What’s even crazier is, inside his first album cover, he is holding a fucking bat. You’d think he’d be able to toss a fucking ball. Tonight, I will give a baby a fucking ball. A baby who has never thrown anything but her bottle across the room and she will still pitch better than that.
Venice: I know lolololol. You can tell he has never thrown a thing in his life.
Ryan: This fucking guy probably has an allergic reaction even when he watches Game of THRONES.
Venice: lol. His grandma probably called him up after seeing this pitch and demanded he give back the THROW blanket she bought him for Christmas.
Ryan: AHAHAHA. She still has stains on the rug and walls from when he was a kid and used to throw up fucking sideways.
Venice: He probably throws up in 90 degree angles and hits the walls behind him even though his head is hanging in a toilet.
Ryan: He used to throw down with his homies and always hit his own boy that was standing next to him.
Venice: Vegas would never ask him to throw a fight.
Ryan: Fight? You can tell he couldn’t throw a fucking punch if his life depended on it. Imagine him throwing a party though?
Venice: He’d throw a party and give directions to his house… which leads everyone two blocks away to the left of his home, at some cameraman’s house.
Ryan: Ahahaha. The dude seriously throws like a sissy.
Venice: The dude obviously didn’t pitch growing up. Must be a catcher.
Ryan: Ahaha. You better stop with that shit. This is 50 cent we are talking about. You’re going to end up staring down the barrel of a gun….
Venice: And I’d never feel safer! LOLOL
Ryan: Hahaha. If he was aiming at the wall 20 feet away from you though?
Venice: Fucking duck, you’re in trouble then.
Ryan: Ahahahahahahaahahaha.
Ryan: How are we supposed to believe he was on the corner “pitching rocks to the fiends.”
Venice: Best drug dealer ever. The cops could never catch him pitching rocks directly to anyone.
Ryan: Ahahaha oh my god.
Ryan: There goes his career. He will be remembered for that pitch.
Venice: For sure
Ryan: The pitch went viral before the game was in the 3rd inning. No bullshit.
Venice: lmaoooo! Sad! 50’s pitch went viral before the end of the Star Spangled Banner sang by 3rd grader Lindsey Jones from Queens Elementary.
Ryan: lol. It went viral before the ball hit the reporter standing 30 feet away from the plate
Venice: It went viral before Fiddy even had the chance to think “Aww haiil naw”
Ryan: The ball accidentally hit a kid tweeting about the pitch in left center field
Venice: lolol! It was like “Oh shit…here it co…” send tweet
Ryan: “OMG, you should see how bad this fucking pitch 50 just thre…”
Ryan: Next tweet. “Fuck, just got hit by the ball.”
Venice: Upside down sit-ups can’t fix that weeble-wobble pitc–” tweet sent
Ryan: PLEASE 50, NEVER EVER EVER EVEREVEVEVEVEEVERE EVER do a drive-by. For the love of little kids on tricycles EVERYWHERE
Venice: For the love of little kids on tricycles EVERYWHERE <– not necessarily “everywhere,” but at least in the tri-county area minimum.
Ryan: Haha.
Ryan: 50 is a humanitarian. He saw a mosquito with malaria on the camera man to the very far left and changed his mind about the pitch and decided to save him.
Venice: 50 was pitching to the bat boy


So I planned a date with one of my girlfriends that I haven’t really seen in a while. When I say plan, I really had no plan at all. I just wanted to fuck her.
“Hey, my boyfriend and I just started having sex a few weeks ago and I immediately noticed he is by far the biggest I have ever had. It isn’t really that long, but it’s very thick. So thick that it feels like it is ripping my insides. He likes it rough and tends to go a bit fast, but I am wondering if it’s possible that some guys are just too big for some women?”
Despite the fact that their sexual preferences are listed in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as potentially problematic, people who play with whips and chains in the bedroom may actually be more psychologically healthy than those who don’t.