Freaky search terms, where we post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website. Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.
Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms. Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.
10) meaning of two woman doing a double blow job on male
Venice: That can only mean one thing: lucky!
Ryan: Amen.
9) i need a female ass i can look at while i rub my dick all nude
Venice: Well buddy, you’ve come to the right place!
Ryan: We’ve got a great selection of asses: round asses, jiggly asses, flat asses – you name it.
Venice: Ass is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey’s uh, ass-kabobs, ass creole, ass gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple ass, lemon ass, coconut ass, pepper ass, ass soup, ass stew, ass salad, ass and potatoes, ass burger, ass sandwich. That- that’s about it.
Ryan: …
Venice: Yummy, so hungry all the sudden!
8) lets talk about our hairy balls
Venice: This sounds like a pamphlet at a doctor’s office.
Ryan: Right next to “The Human Penis: The Science Behind Your Sperm Tunnel”
Venice: And “Mommy, why do I cry on my period?”
Ryan: Don’t forget “Prostate Massages: The Inner Workings of Your Anus”
7) when i knew i was at the back of her throat i shot my load wow!
Venice: This guy’s reaction is great. It’s like he just wants to emphasize how excited he was. Tadoww!
Ryan: I know that feeling. I get it when I facefuck you. Shazam!
Venice: And similarly, I love facefucking. Zippadeedodah!
6) anal cum swallow being judged
Venice: This is a judge-free zone. If you swallow cum that came out of someone’s ass, no one will judge you.
Ryan: I give your response a solid 9 Venice.
Venice: You give my response a solid 8 for sure.
Ryan: …
Venice: Aww, are you blushing?
Ryan: Shutup.
5) tickle and fuck her good
Venice: Tickle? To me, getting tickled is very painful and excruciating. So how about no! For me that is like, “Punch her in the face with your hands dipped in glue and glass and then fuck her good”
Ryan: Or “Pull out her fingernails and teeth with pliers and then make slow sweet love to her”
Venice: Exactly!
4) why do penis tickle my vagina
Venice: Ok wait…is “tickle” slang for something?
Ryan: Kids these days. I can never keep up with the new lingo.
Venice: Ryan, your penis doesn’t tickle me, jack. I think it’s dyn-o-mite!
Ryan: Listen here, jive turkey. I can dig it.
Venice: Me too, sucka!
3) x-hamster struggle of baseball girl
Venice: Ouch! I saw one of these a long time ago. I wonder if that’s the same one.
Ryan: Probably not. I can’t imagine how many more chicks have stuck baseball bats in their vaginas on camera now, with cellphones and cam sites being commonplace.
Venice: “Baseball Girl 2: The 2nd Inning, 2 Balls No Strikes, Starring Lance Armstrong and Tom Green”
Ryan: “Baseball Girl 3: The 3rd Inning, 3 Balls 1 Strike, starring Dan Abrams and Mr Hands.
Venice: “Baseball Girl 4: The 4th Inning, Baseball Girl vs. Pickle Jar Boy”
Ryan: Ouch.
Venice: I know right!
Ryan: “Baseball Girl 5: The 5th Inning, Balls and Bases Loaded”
Venice: “Baseballs Girl 6: The 6th Inning, Pitching A No Hitter, Girls Only Soft(balls) starring Caitlyn Jenner”
Ryan: I’d watch it.
Venice:You bet your ass we wood!
Ryan: I see what you did there, wood, baseball bat. I’m catching what you’re throwing.
Venice: “Baseballs Girl 9: The 9th Inning Stretch, MANDINGO UP TO BAT”
Ryan: Ha!!!
2) my husband is cheating on me with a man but he has a big cock big cock gay sex porn
Venice: This term seems to imply that it would be okay for him to cheat because it’s gay sex.
Ryan: She also implies that it’s okay because one of them has a big cock. Like, if your cheating with an Asian, that relationship is OVER.
Venice: We definitely do not condone cheating, but guys, if you’re going to cheat, make sure he’s got at least 8 inches and above. If he doesn’t, you’re just a filthy man-whore.
1) my wife don’t want my dick she wants pig dick porn
Ryan: Looks like he’s been outdone by Babe.
Venice: She wants a little oinker in her Charlotte’s Web
I am a 27 year old female and I think I orgasm. I have the physical feeling, wetness, waves of heat, vaginal clenches. It builds and releases like a sneeze but that’s it. I feel like I’m missing something, should something be happening in my mind? Some explosion, earth moving, angels singing moment? Am I broken? Is there a physical problem? I’m in a serious relationship and very much turned on by my partner and I love having sex I just feel there should be more. Please help.
Back in 2012 when we started our blog, Venice and I wanted to find a sexy way to celebrate Christmas and December. We came up with the idea to do a photo shoot every day up until Christmas. I believe it all started on December 1, 2012, when I asked Venice if she wanted to do a photo shoot with me cumming all over her milk and cookies. Of course she jumped at the opportunity because she loves taking photos, and definitely doesn’t have a problem eating cookies and cream during the holidays (this photo shoot also inspired our January 2013, month long photo shoot of facials / and Venice swallowing each day of the month).
So sometimes I get messages from different people that view local profiles I have on social media. Almost always from men pretending to be women, but sometimes I do get messages from actual girls (I think). Whether it be close ups of their unshaved vaginas or some random ass shot, I tend to giggle and move on with my day. If it’s something pleasant and appropriate, of course I respond, I’m always looking for a nice girl to play with.
Well, LELO and it’s customer service are bar none, the best we’ve worked with. Their items? The best we’ve played with. The Tiani™ 24K is no exception. Now, the 24K edition of this toy is not yet released (it should be released after this review has been published). It’s absolutely stunning. Truthfully, sex toys really shouldn’t be this beautiful, because it really only takes Ryan and I just a few minutes to get our cum all over them. But let’s get to the Tiani™. You’ve probably seen a very popular design that resembles the Tiani™. Yes, I am talking about the We-Vibe, which we personally didn’t have a great experience with. So you’re probably wondering why we would review a toy very similar in design. Because you should buy the Tiani™ rather than the We-Vibe. Well let me say, We-Vibe had a great idea, with mediocre implementation. LELO fixed what was my biggest issue with the We-Vibe, comfort.
Being familiar with the design meant we needed very little prep time for this review session. I came out of the shower and looked at Ryan already on the bed slowly stroking his semi erect penis. He was already lubed up so we were ready to go. I came over to the bed and grabbed his penis and started stroking it for him. As I would switch hands, I would rub the free hand, now moist with lubrication from Ryan’s dick, on my own vagina to make sure the Tiani™ could easily slide inside me. The only problem? Ryan felt too erect. Yes, too erect. We have been together for over 17 years and if his dick is too hard, it can be extremely uncomfortable for me. You’d think after all these years my insides would have morphed to match with his penis like a puzzle, but a majority of the time Ryan is at about 85%, where his penis still has flexibility. This slight give in his penis is what feels the most comfortable for me. However, when I orgasm through penetration, it’s usually due to the deep pain and rough sensations I need when I am horny. Sometimes I love the punishment, sometimes I don’t. Tonight, it has me a bit tensed up because I’m not in the mood to have my insides destroyed. I getmy penetration orgasms are always due to the stabbing deep pain. Why does sex have to be so complex? so it has some give while inside my body. When he has his high school erection, it’s like being fucked by a large wooden stick that just destroys my insides no matter how much we lubricate. Not that sex is overrated, but sex with a penis that has no give is extremely overrated for me, especially from certain angles.