Threesome Memoirs – The Intimidating (The Good, The Bad, The Ugly)

Threesome Memoirs: Table of Contents

intimidatingWe’ve said numerous times that finding a partner for a possible threesome isn’t an easy task, but truthfully, if we were a bit more courageous, it wouldn’t have been that difficult. Yes, it takes patience, but who would want to rush in and make that type of mistake anyway?

We’ve had flaky prospects, men pretending to be women, and ladies that get cold feet.  This is expected.  What wasn’t expected were a few offers that were so aggressive that we actually flat out turned them down.  Not that the ladies weren’t attractive, but instead were openly turned on by us and weren’t shy about what they wanted to do.  Sometimes it wasn’t even what they said, but the pictures they sent that intimidated us.

If the woman was in high heels with a huge sexy ass, swinging on what seemed to resemble either a firehouse pole or a stripper pole, I was immediately intimidated.  Unsure why, I guess I was expecting to spend time with the girl next door type.

It wouldn’t be just the photos though.  If they weren’t shy about letting me know that they were ready to meet immediately and would only fuck my man if it was okay with me, it made me a bit uncomfortable.  The aggression, the lack of communication, the rush of meeting, or just flat out intimidated.  I don’t know why.  It didn’t just scare me though, Ryan was usually the one that pulled the plugs on the wild ones.

At this pont, most readers following along with our memoirs are probably totally confused.  How could a couple that is complaining about the young and flaky find a female that is totally willing to have a threesome, yet write a blog about how it intimidates them.  What exactly do we want?

Good question.  I have no idea.  I do know exactly what I don’t want though.  I do not want a woman who is almost anxious to get me and my husband into the bedroom.  We like to talk, we like to socialize, and we also do not want our experiences to be warped by some sex machine who doesn’t care who she sleeps with, just that she is sleeping with someone.

As much as it is supposed to be difficult to have a threesome, it really is much more difficult when your standards are nearly impossible.  If we had no standards, this would have been a very short memoir section.  “Day 2, we fucked some girl and afterwards we saw her in the parking lot fucking some other guy as well.  I guess she wasn’t satisfied?”

I know this sounds shallow, but I also judged looks.  If I wasn’t attracted to the female, I would let them know that I did not think it would work out.  This actually created a few problems but regardless of personality, I wanted to be attracted to whoever I decided to invite into my bedroom.  We’ve experienced the good, the bad, and they ugly, but a lot less good than the other two.

Threesome Memoirs: Shai Wan

Threesome Memoirs: Table of Contents

shy asianNot everyone can be straightforward. Not everyone can hide behind the anonymity of emails and texts. Sometimes their shyness is apparent in their language and how they project themselves in how they communicate. I’m not mad at them. Sometimes I can lack in the aggression department, and sometimes I feel I’ve said things that were out of my real life personality.

With all this being said, I came across a Asian girl who lived a few cities away and didn’t seem to be like the other females with whom I’d previously communicated. I didn’t know it at first, but she seemed very shy. I’ll call her Shai Wan.  She was the quintessential Asian: tiny, light skin, and long hair. The picture used in this blog is not her, but seriously, she was just as adorable.  In fact, she was so cute I found myself being taken back to my childhood as she reminded me of Sailor Moon and her band of hotties; I’m referring to Sailor Mars. But that’s neither here nor there.

Asians aren’t really my type, but Shai Wan was gorgeous and I couldn’t help but be attracted to her look.  At first we talked via email only. She sent a few G-rated photos of herself and I sent a few of me.  After emailing her a few times, I decided to text her. She was hot in every way, but when she started sending explicit pictures, her panties looked like off white cotton long johns.  I didn’t know if she was wearing thick white leggings or cotton grandma panties.  Either way, it wasn’t as sexy as I hoped but I still responded,    “Hot.”  I then sent an ass shot of myself in panties, too, but mine was a thong with the outline of my lips showing very clearly as if to say, “Look… this is the kind of picture you should be sending!”  But she just didn’t seem to get the hint.   “Send me another one, sexy. Bend over if you can.”  Her granny panty shot was followed with her slightly bent over in the same panties, only it was a mirror shot so the flash reflected just perfectly. Or should I say, imperfectly.  At least I knew they were live pictures and not just part of her “Hanes Her Way photo album” on her phone.

I wasn’t sure what to say. It wasn’t my job to teach her how to send dirty selfies of herself, so I ignored it. I just assumed she was being careful in what she was sending. No big deal. So was I. I then told her, “You have such a cute little ass. I wonder what your pussy tastes like?”   I really wanted to know, in fact, I still do.  I’d love to taste an Asian woman.

Before I could text, “Pull your panties to the side, let me see what you’re hiding,” she said, “Can you use code talk like ‘I want to go to your grandmother’s house for some peach cobbler?’ when asking about my private areas?  I don’t want my husband get to suspicious.”

Go to where?!  For some what?!  Did that mean if I ever wanted to talk about eating her pussy I had to refer to the area between her legs as “grandmother’s house” and her vagina as “peach cobbler”? 

Yes, she was married.  Yes, she let me know he wouldn’t understand that she was bisexual.  At this point, we were both only interested in developing a kinky little text friendship, not a threesome.  Ryan was okay with this, and I wanted to see her sexy little ass.  I guess I understood the code talk.  Like, if he grabbed her phone she would have a bunch of messages about us going to her grandmother’s house for peach cobbler.  Not really sure how she explains the selfies of her in her grandma’s panties though?   I guess she could say she borrowed was trying on her grandmother’s panties after she was done eating cobbler? 

Over the next few texts, I noticed that she started getting more and more brave. Her selfies moved to her breast shots in the mirror.  She labeled the breast picture, “my rubix cubes.”   Although she was looking down, you could clearly see her cute face.  The code talk thing was a bit awkward, but the fact she was gorgeous kept me interested.   From what I could see of her rubix cubes, they were extremely cute. However, it was apparent she had an old fashion cotton top that seemed matched her long john panties perfectly.  Maybe a little bit of black lace would have been more grown up, but I guess it adds to her overall cuteness.  I had a feeling she hadn’t been a flirty texter for very long.  The more pictures she sent, the more I felt awkward looking at them, as if I were watching a B-rated porn on my phone. Or at least Showtime after midnight wondering if this might be the one where I get to see a shadow of a nipple. 

She tried though. Even when she claimed to have accidentally emailed me a home video of her and her husband’s sex tape. Yes she sent me about a 3 minute long sex tape.  This was probably the most kinky thing she did, but unfortunately it wasn’t really a sex tape.  Also, her husband was the “Grocery Store.”  If she texted, “I am going to the grocery store” her husband was home.  That was his nickname. And in the video, that may or may not have been sent to me on purpose, I think I saw a butt cheek. It was so dark. They had sex completely under the covers. All I could see was the covers moving.  It was like a Disney porn. I turned the volume all the way up hoping I could hear a little bit of dirty talk. I heard nothing but a few whispers and  what I think was an episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” on their bedroom television. 

This woman was beautiful and adorable, but unfortunately, a little too secretive and shy for me to continue communication.  I quickly lost interest in Shai Wan. She did absolutely nothing to stimulate me mentally or physically. I can foresee trying to meet her being limited to sitting across a table from each other with our hands in plain sight and talking dirty in code language, “I want to play with your rubix cubes and tickle your Cheerio.”

Anyway, I guess I won’t be going to the grocery store with more  peach cobbler anytime soon.   We need to find a new grandmother’s house quick, I’m getting hungry!

V’s Wet Inbox: Can You Post A Picture For Me?

shy02“My husband and I are such fans of your blog. My husband LOVES my beautiful brown ass and keeps telling me I should post a ass wednesday pic. Me being the shy girl I am would like to post it anonymously and was wondering if you could post it for me. We follow you on twitter and if you like the pic as much as we do please do us the honor of posting it for us.”

I received an e-mail from a woman (who will remain anonymous) stating that she and her husband were readers and followers of our blog. She said her husband (to whom she sends naughty pictures while he’s at work) loves her beautiful, brown ass and urges her to post an “Ass Wednesday” picture on Twitter, but she was too shy.  She then asked if I would do her the honor of posting it for her.  I e-mailed her back immediately: “I would love to.”

To whoever submitted this picture, I have a few things to say.

First, kudos to you for sending naughty pictures to your husband. It’s these little gestures that ensure a wife stays on her man’s mind even when they aren’t in physical proximity of each other.  My husband and I work just a few miles from each other. But that’s irrelevant. We could be across the country. A woman knows that sending dirty pictures is equivalent to whispering “I want you” into his ear. I “whisper” to him several times a day. Then when we get home, I tell him in person.

shy01Second, I understand that you’re shy and some of it may be fear of rejection by others who see your picture. But there is one thing I can promise you: there will be more people who will compliment you than there will be who put you down. When it happens to me, I take it in stride and remember that the only person who should be concerned about my pictures is my husband. After posting my first picture, I realized quickly that there were women out there who were just like us: we choose to remain anonymous while showing off our most intimate parts of our body. I was very skeptical and cringed at the possibility of being made fun of for wanting to be sexy. But when I saw that Twitter was full of normal, average women like myself who loved being amateur, anonymous exhibitionists, it became fun. I learned to use Twitter and other social media platforms as a way to show my husband that although there were people who liked seeing my pictures, he was the only to get it in the flesh.

Third, as a lover of women’s asses, I think yours is fabulous!  It’s full, round, and so damn juicy!  Show it off to the world!

In being asked to post her picture, the honor is mine!  I hope you enjoy seeing her ass as much as I do.

Will you do me a favor: cheer her on and let her know we’re “behind” her every step of the way!

Snapshot Wednesdays – Dedication

DedicationWe have decided to add erotic photography of us to our blog each Wednesday, now known as Snapshot Wednesday.  These won’t be low quality candids or shots taken from our cell phones, these will be photographs we love from our own little photo shoots.  Hopefully these pictures will come out more like tasteful erotic art rather than amateur pornography.  We will update the gallery each week with a new photo to share with our blog followers.

This week we have named our photo “Dedication.”   This photo was from our first photo shoot, which was around 600 different pictures taken.  Although for us it seems a bit dated, I still feel like it captures a good moment.

What does that feel like for him?  Does it hurt?  Does it spin as it goes down his shaft?  Does it feel weird in your mouth?   When he cums is it like a water mill? 

Threesome Memoirs: The Young and Flaky

Threesome Memoirs: Table of Contents

young and flakyAs you may or may not already know, Ryan and I have been talking about opening up our bedroom and me being with another woman.  Like any strong and open couple, we discussed our fantasies, boundaries, and how we would go about making this a reality.  We took small steps, i.e., not jumping into hard swinging, talking to others who’ve been down the same road as us, and discussing the best ways to go about finding a third, to ensure we didn’t do anything we’d regret later.

Our journey to find a third to join us in the bedroom has been more entertaining then the experience itself could ever be.  Although there is anticipation, let downs, and mini build-ups with each person we talk with, in the end, the time Ryan and I spend together discussing is worth the emotional roller coaster.

We’ve received offers via our blog and a few dating websites and we try to screen each person the best we can, prior to ever talking to them.  And then, AFTER talking to them, we’re forced to be more blunt and straightforward as far as letting people know exactly what we’re looking for.

Location is the key, they must be close.  It seemed that people wanted to be able to “fuck on a whim” and to be ready when the time came. Then there were the more trickier parts: offers from married women and the married women wanting me to have a threesome with her and her husband (which is basically 99% of every offer), single ladies but only lesbian, married but more into sending pictures than actually meeting, and of course, the very small percentage of women actually interested and comfortable with dealing with a couple.

When we first started blogging about losing my girlginity, it generated a lot of interest and even some offers from bi ladies interested in being my first.  I let it be known that even though we wouldn’t technically be adding a third person into our relationship, I still wanted to get to know the woman as a person and not be hit-it-and-quit-it.  We didn’t want to come off as picky, just careful.  Over time we continued receiving propositions, and although we were flattered, we screened each one.  It was a daunting, but fun task because we got to see the range of ladies (married, single, dating, younger, older, etc.) who were looking to experience another woman and/or a married couple.  We were very interested and eager, but there was always something about each of them that just set off a red flag.

A few months ago, I took a huge leap and called a bi woman who agreed to talk to me on the phone. She was one of our first major prospects (first woman I’ve called)  and one who Ryan and I have now  labeled Ms. Flaky.  When I decided to make that call to Ms. Flaky, Ryan and I were sitting outside waiting for our steaks to marinate. This is our relaxed environment. The weather was nice so I made us a few drinks and I was ready to call. My call had two purposes: to verify that she was really a female and not a man pretending to be woman, and to ask more questions that were just too tedious to discuss through texts or e-mail.  She was able to verify all the information, specifically, is it really a female or some pervert pretending to be one. I require this confirmation because I don’t want to talk to guy pretending to be a girl or a girl who’s talking only to please her man (usually people give off a vibe if they’re being coerced into doing something they don’t agree to).

At first, I was nervous calling, but I knew it had to be done, and this would be what they call the first step in a journey of a thousand miles.  Within seconds, I sensed that she was genuine and not someone who had a phone put into her hand by a controlling man saying, “Just talk for a few minutes.”  She was indeed a female, and not only was she a female, a very attractive one.  She seemed to be interested in hooking up with a couple, no boundaries.  She sent me a picture and I thought she was very cute (probably because of her similar mixed heritage, a plus!).  She willingly answered all our questions and was confident in what she wanted. We discussed potential dates to meet, which days would be best for us, etc.

After hanging up, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. I sent her a photo of myself, which she said she liked. Then she asked what Ryan looked like.  I sent two pictures of him, both of which she approved.  That was one of my main concerns, I want the woman to also be attracted to my man.  Because what would that look like: being accepting of a woman who doesn’t think my man’s looks or personality are acceptable to her.  I want everyone to feel sexy and comfortable.

As time went on, Ms. Flaky would send random morning nude photos and halfway attempt to schedule some sort of meet up.  “Maybe we can meet on Sunday?” Yet when asked what time exactly, she’d tell us she would get back to us after she checked her schedule.  Sunday would come and go, and we’d maybe get a few photos but nothing regarding what time she would like to meet.  Of course I don’t want to seem overly pushy, so I don’t beg for a time, and just play each message by ear.  Over the next few weeks, we continued to text. Between texts, she would disappear for a few days, then out of the blue, I’d get another random picture with her soaping up her nude body in the shower.  Ms. Flaky was young so she knew how to string along a young guy I suppose.  But I, on the other hand, have a husband and family. It maybe took me a few of these sporadic texts to realize she was more into the attention we gave her than us as a couple.  Which is okay.  But as the days went on, I tended to pay less attention to her, as we had a few other possibilities lining up.

I joked with Ryan about getting back into the dating scene because it had been so long, but that’s what it felt like trying to get to know a person, texting, making that first call, and hearing them talk for the first time. It was exhilarating, hopeful, and thrilling all at the same time. I knew that getting through this first call would make it easier for me to meet and talk to other women.  Even if our plans with Ms. Flaky never flourished, we’ve taken this step into a lifestyle as a couple, and are much stronger coming in together than we ever were or ever could ever be.   And it is like dating again or almost being sexually reborn.  First contact, first texts, first calls, first meet ups, first kisses, and first tastes.

I still get random messages and photos from Ms. Flaky, but that prospect has passed.  I will take her cute little photos, but meeting up with her is no longer an option.