Author: Venice Bloggs

March 15, 2013

Q&A: I hate swallowing my husband’s cum. Any tips on swallowing cum?

Question & Answer , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 5 Comments

no swallow
Bitter cum face

Jasmine via the internet 

 Me and my husband have been married for over 5 years and until recently I never gave him any oral sex.  I’ve decided to change that.  I have been reading different blogs and websites, yours being one of them, and I am trying to open my mind and experience everything with my husband.   My only concern is, I have tried to swallow cum with my a previous boyfriend and I immediately threw up all over him.   I know that is bad, but it wasn’t just me spitting him out, I actually threw up from the taste of it, all over his lap.  After that episode I have maybe given a few more blow jobs but never let a guy finish in my mouth.   

Anyway, when I met my husband he told me from the beginning he just wants me happy.  I told him about my past, the good, the bad, and the embarrassing, and he immediately let me know that I would never have to do anything I was uncomfortable with.  Believe it or not, he has stuck to his words.  I’ve never felt any pressure from him about oral sex.  The few times  I came close to initiating, I got scared because too much time between us has passed and I feel embarrassed.  I also don’t know when to stop giving oral without hurting his feelings.   I do know that I want to give him oral sex because I love him more than anything in the world and he deserves it, but I know I will never be able to swallow his cum.   Do you guys have any suggestions? 

Venice’s response: 

Thank you for your question. I commend your husband for respecting your wishes about not asking you to give him oral sex or swallow.  If the taste of semen makes you throw up, that is just awful.  I know that me swallowing has made me closer to Ryan.  I yield a certain dominance over him when I tell him that no one can have his cum but me, that he better not be wasting all that precious juice.  I even get pissed off at the idea of him jacking off and wasting my cum. I’ve turned my cum swallowing into a game, a game where I make all the rules.

Remember this: I know it’s not apple juice, it’s cum, I get it.  But the THOUGHT of it, what it represents to ME as Ryan’s wife, makes it the most delicious thing in the world.  If you have to train yourself to love it, then do so!  I hate to make this comparison, but it’s like smoking a cigarette for the first time: you try it because of peer pressure or you want to impress the other cool kids.  At first you don’t want to do it, but you push through it, even forcing yourself.  You start gagging and coughing.  It’s the worst feeling ever when it burns your throat.  But you see everyone doing it and you want to fit in.  So you smoke another one; same reaction. You repeat this process until finally one day, your body is used to it and needs it.  Now the cool kids are hanging around you all because you have this one thing in common.  Well, pretend your husband is the cool kid and you want to impress him.

Also, I commend you for trying to initiate.  It shows that you are willing to do it!  My suggestion would be to take baby steps.  If you do initiate oral sex, squeeze his penis hard after he has an erection for a few minutes and you will notice a clear sticky drop will appear around his urethra opening.  This is his froth.  This is the lubrication his body naturally provides to make sure his penis can penetrate the vagina.  I personally think froth is very sweet.   It has its own taste and texture.  I think that would be a better approach to having him shoot his load into your mouth.  Don’t take a whole load at once for the first time with your husband. Just a drop or two, or a small lick off his stomach.  Let it sit on your tongue for a moment.  You’ll realize it’s not disgusting and certainly not poison.

Remind yourself that this is your husband’s semen, the man that you love, the man who would do anything to protect you.  It’s been five years and he hasn’t even suggested you give him oral sex.  He sounds like one of the patient understanding ones.  Wait to see how patient and understanding he will be after you blow his socks off. Once you give him oral sex on a regular basis, and possibly even swallowing him, new doors will open and you will both benefit from your new-found sexuality. “I will never be able to swallow his cum.” Never say never.

Ryan’s response: 

First, thanks for reading our blog. I am glad you want to open up and try new things with your husband.  5 years is a bit long but it’s better than 10 years I suppose.

Oral sex does not have to involve any sort of “completion”.  Sometimes Venice will give me oral sex just to get me erect and use her saliva to lubricate my penis for anal or vaginal intercourse.  Every morning Venice wakes me up kissing on my neck, then under my arms, then each of my nipples, until finally she gets between my lap and will lick and suck on all of my sexual body parts.  Sometimes she will focus on my balls, other times she will lick and suck on my penis.  I never orgasm.   We both know our morning time is for intimacy and enjoying each other, not to get worked up and have orgasms.   It’s our way to show self control and appreciation for each other without turning kissing and closeness  into pure sex.

Those are just a few examples of giving your husband the oral sex he deserves without having to taste his semen.    The key here, like with most questions, is communication.  Talk with your husband and let him know you feel nervous but want to give him oral sex.  I promise you, he will embrace the idea.  Let him know that you would prefer to give him oral as a form of foreplay, rather than a finishing act.  Explain why.  If he has been as patient as you say he is, I have no doubt he will totally understand.   Also, if he knows oral is now something you are interested in trying, he will help initiate, taking away any of the embarrassment you may have felt before.

Now, let’s talk about the taste and idea of semen.  If you think your husband’s semen gross, it will be gross.  If you think his semen is the next best thing since honey, it will be honey.   Whether it be the texture, the taste, the smell, or just the idea from it coming from inside another human’s body, it’s all in your mind.  Let go of the childhood belief and grow into the woman he deserves.  Semen should be everything but gross.  That is the essence of your man, his being, his manhood, his ancestors, his past and his future, his dna, his seeds, his insides, his everything.   His semen is an extension of him.  Enjoy and take your man, all of him.   It isn’t gross or disgusting, and it definitely shouldn’t make you puke.   Free your mind and let it grow with your relationship.    If a man went down on a woman and puked because her juices tasted weird to him, what would you think?  It’s immature and young minded.  As we grow older we learn to appreciate the finer things in life:  the juices inside our partners being one of them.

Venice’s suggstions on  swallowing cum:

Deepthroat.  Our blog has gone into great detail about how I taste nothing, feel nothing, and smell nothing.  If I am deepthroating, Ryan’s semen bypasses all my taste buds and  goes straight to my stomach.   For me, this is definitely neat, especially since you can feel his balls on your lips squeezing with each thrust.  You can also feel his thick urethra tube at the base of his penis, where his kegel muscles are the most powerful, pushing his semen into my body.  For me, the downside is I love to taste Ryan and his cum.  Therefore, I enjoy letting him unload his first shot into my mouth and then slide him down my throat to enjoy the experience of his orgasm.  This is the best of both worlds.

If you cannot deepthroat, try having him cum as far as he can in the back of your mouth.  The goal is to get his semen past your taste buds.  This may not help with the texture, but if the taste if what bothers you, this will help.

Get drunk.    Most of us are just looking for a reason to lose our inhibition.  That 4th or 5th shot of alcohol doesn’t taste anything like the first shot right?  Well guess what, your husbands semen will taste like buttersworth syrup after a few drinks.

Use chloraseptic or some other numbing agent for sore throats.  Not only does the choloraseptic have an decent flavor, but it also numbs the mouth and throat.  This can help you with gagging during deepthroat, or keep you from tasting and feeling the texture of his semen.   Chloraspetic can also numb the taste buds which keep you from tasting anything.

Give him oral in the morning.  I’ve read that the gag reflex is the least active in the morning.  Wake up, brush your teeth, give your man a blow job, swallow his load, head off to work.  This lazy morning gag reflex can also help you get his penis deep in your mouth if you normally deal with a super sensitive gag reflex.

Wash down the semen with something sweet.  Whether it be a coke or cold drink, wash down the semen so the after taste doesn’t make you gag or puke.  Think of his semen as the alcohol and you can pick your own chaser.

Suck on a jolly rancher, tic tac, or a breath mint before oral sex.   If you are skilled enough, keep the jolly rancher in your mouth while working his shaft.  I know this may sound hard, which it may be, but it will  definitely help with the taste.

 Ask your husband to eat pineapples  the night before you give him oral sex.  It is rumored that pineapples make the semen taste much better.   Experiment with different foods and see if it changes his semen’s flavor.

The biggest problem is your mind.  I’d guarantee if you have trouble swallowing, you are the type that overthinks things.  Relax, enjoy life, enjoy your man, take your mind off swallowing semen and think of something sweet.  Truthfully, this is all in your mind.  Grow up.

Practice by taking cum shots in the mouth without swallowing.  This could be something you while taste testing his semen/food intake.   The more you let him cum in your mouth the more you will get used to the texture and flavor.  As you get more relaxed and comfortable, swallowing will get much easier.

Use flavored lubrication.   Use honey!  Although you won’t really need lubrication with oral sex, if you were to lube up your husband’s penis with flavored lubrication, like syrup or honey, the sweet flavor taste will overwhelm your tastebuds.  The sticky sensation may also be amazing for his balls or anus play.  Try it.

We will update this section as we think of more helpful tips in swallowing sperm.

March 14, 2013

Diary Entry: All Kinds of Orgasms Last Night

Blog , , , , , , , , , , No Comments

OrgasmLast night I had the greatest sex of my entire life.  Ryan and I have all kinds of sex. It can be wild, spontaneous, slow, erotic, fierce, masochistic, and even planned out (because of our time schedules). Sometimes we orgasm, sometimes we don’t.  Last night it was a combination of all the aforementioned and ending in great, wild sex with multiple cums on my end.

Ryan’s cock was rock hard as he lay on his back, so hard that he told me to ease up on the stroking because his skin was too tight that it felt like it could rip at any time.  I loosened my grip and moved both my hands up and down the length of his shaft.  I pushed his dick down between his legs so it almost touched the bed…then released.  It slapped his stomach hard.  This was one of those times I knew when he was ready to fuck me, I would be sore the next day.  It’s happened.  It doesn’t take much.

I looked down at his dick and I wanted to put my mouth around it.  My entire mouth was full.  I had to get his head down to the back of my throat to dip into the sloppy, wet spit that I need for lubrication.  I braced myself for the hardness as I opened my throat and mouth as wide as I can to maneuver him down.  I felt like a snake unhinging its jaws to swallow an ostritch egg. From a distance, it looks like I’m convulsing in a crouched position as I work his hard cock.  It’s not as easy when Ryan’s dick is at its maximum length and thickness.  I ease down, my chin is finally touching his balls.  It rarely happens, but I gag.  He makes a kegel muscle and his dick shifts in my throat over and over again.  I can feel my air running out and I lift up slightly.  As I do, I feel his hands on the back of my head and thighs press against my ear signaling me to stay.  I submit to him and stay the extra 15 seconds.  His legs part and I gasp for air.  I replenish and repeat.

His dick is smooth and shiny now, ready to be guided past the growth of hair between my legs.  I get on top of Ryan and slowly rub his penis over my pussy.  Ryan feels the wetness between my lips that has formed from the intense deepthroating.  “Oh, my God, you’re horny aren’t you?”  I face him as I ride gently. I’m careful not to be too hasty, like I were dipping my toes into a swimming pool.  I try to rock back and forth slowly, but the top side of his shaft is rubbing hard on the back of my vagina walls.  I inch back and grind again. Still rubbing hard on the underside of my pussy AND in the back. No matter where I move to, he was too hard for me to enjoy.  But Ryan knows what to do.

He tells me to get on my stomach.  His cock has no trouble finding my little hole; they’re drawn to each other.  He’s kind enough to pump his hips slowly at first.  I moan wearily as if I’m in pain.  In fact, I am.  With each movement of his body, I lie in wait, waiting to see if the next movement will be a deep, hard push against my cervix.  Honestly, those are the ones I crave, the ones that make my toes tingle, the ones that pinch a nerve down both my legs, the ones that send a spark from my g-spot to the backs of my knees – the ones that leave me in a delicious state of paralysis.  I tell him to go deep and slow, and to hold  his dick head at the very back; that is my sweet spot, the reason I love being taken from behind when he uses all his weight, his man-strength, to make me quiver from the inside out.  I can tolerate the pain just enough to where I do NOT want him to stop; I want him to keep going.   I continue to mumble, “Go deep and slow, go deep and slow,” and he obeys.  He moves slow and methodically.  Ryan knows that when he is this hard, fucking me fast and deep is too painful. If he goes fast, the pain shocks my entire body and makes me jerk in pain.  I need it slow.  He pushes into me with enough force to move us both off the end of the bed.  I feel my nipple rings drag beneath me as my breasts are pushed flat.  We reposition ourselves back to the middle of the bed.  I grab the edges of the mattress and try to keep from moving again, flattening myself in order to stay put.

An hour or so passes. An hour of deep, hard, slow fucking.  I am hypnotized by the intense feeling building inside my pussy.  The longer he holds the push toward, the more I feel my orgasm building.  Ryan knows this.  Just then he finds the spot.  I lift up my ass to make sure he can grind his dick as hard as he can.  I tell him to keep going.  He moves faster, slamming his penis into the back of me over and over.  I’ve been put into a trance.  Soon I hear a wet smacking sound and feel juices dripping down my ass and thighs.

Ryan confirms what I am feeling and tells me, “You squirted all over me….”

I moan and reply, “I’m sorry.”

He responds by changing his pace and slowly down, grinding deep inside my wet pussy, “There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

This is a great first cum of the evening.

His rhythmic pumping slows again before he lays back down on the bed.  I go straight for what’s in between his legs and suck away. I taste my juices, which Ryan describes as smelling like watermelons and apples.  I rub my face in his soaked balls and clean between his thighs, under his balls near his ass, and around his thighs.  I clean him off until there is no trace of me.  He tells me he wants to get back inside me.  I deepthroat him again and leave the sticky spit all the way down to his balls.  I get back on my stomach and wait for him to slip into my body.  His dick is harder than ever now.  I tell him again that I want him to go deep and slow.  He digs up in me like he’s shoveling snow.  Once again I’m put in a state of paralysis as he pushes all his weight onto my cervix.    He leans around me with his face and tells me to lick the sweat off his neck and forehead.  I obey.  After all, he has worked hard pleasing me and making me cum once already.  As his cock gets even harder and his balls tighten up, signaling to me that he’s about to cum, I grab the sheets even tighter.  Nothing we ever do comes close to the intensity of a huge strong man with his penis at it’s hardest, seconds before it cums.  I scream, trying to bear the pain for just a few moments longer.  He uses his dick to skewer me as my head is now off the bed from all the jarring.  His cum is so intense, I can feel the the first shot shoot inside me.  It’s very rare, but it has definitely happened.

Then an unusual thing happens: I cum again.  My most intense cums come from when I used a Hitachi, a.k.a. “back massager.”  Why?  Because my clit is stimulated with such an intensity that I’ve been known to cum within seconds of it making contact with my body.  My body muscles begin to tighten up as soon as I get the cum feeling; the g-spot behind my clit has been activated.  Ladies, you know what I mean.  The feeling cannot be stopped and we HAVE to cum otherwise we get frustrated.  As soon as Ryan came in me, those same muscles that I tighten when I have a Hitachi cum were triggered. When his dick was still twitching inside of me, spewing out the last bit of cum, my body was numb.  All I felt was my inner pussy muscles convulsing.  I told him to keep pumping in me.  This type of “hands-free” cum has only happened to me a handful of times, pun intended.  I noticed that this only happens when HE is cumming in me.  It’s as if HIS cum triggered MY cum.  If his orgasm is short, as in he pumps just a few times, or he doesn’t press back in me long enough, I absolutely will not cum.

What a great second cum and third cum for the night.   If you missed the third, that was when Ryan released himself inside me.  I strongly believe my body or mouth making Ryan cum is equally as satisfying to me.  I love draining his body and holding his fluids for the rest of the night.  His orgasms alone satisfy me completely.

Ryan, exhausted with a sweaty body and our cum on his penis, then asks me if I want to use my toy to get a clitoral stimulated orgasm.  I KNOW for a fact I’ll cum, so why not get all four kinds of cums in one night?  I get my toy.  Ryan lays to my side, sucks on my nipples, and starts fingering my cum filled pussy.  Sometimes he will fuck me with his dick as I do this — not today.  I can feel his wet dick starting to soften on my thigh.  He scoops out our cum with his fingers and wipes them down my crack to my anus, then proceeds to stick a finger there in there too.  Two minutes pass and he says to me, “My dick can make you cum faster than this.”  Funny, because today it was true.   Soon though, my toes start to curl and I can feel the jittery sensation in my pussy.  He moves his fingers in my ass and pussy faster as he  also swirls his tongue around my nipple.  I squeeze tight around his fingers and scream out that I am going to cum. The spasms continue for another minute before finally subsiding.  I feel my body pouring onto the bed as if someone turned on a faucet between my legs.  Whether it was my orgasm or his huge load, my body drains as if I was having my own “cum shots.”   I rest for a moment before getting up to take a shower.  I look on the bed and see two dark spots where the sheet has been soaked, one where I squirted and other where my body just was.

What a great fourth cum for the night.

Although I have different ways to cum, this was the first time I had all four different types of cum feelings in one night, so I figured I would write it out for keepsake.  Also, I do not want to confuse my above blog with multiple orgasms, because for me that is a bit more common.   Mostly through clitoral stimulation, but that is a whole other topic for a whole other blog.  Most of the time, my clitoral orgasms comes in twos, if you know what I mean.

March 12, 2013

Her Perspective on the Anal Butt Plug

Blog, Sex Toy Reviews , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments
Wearing a plug with see through panties is Ryan's mating call.
Wearing a plug with see through panties is Ryan’s mating call.

Original Article:  To me, seeing a pink, rubber anal plug is not as sexy as seeing a stainless steel one with a pink or blue diamond-esque cap. There’s nothing wrong with the pink plug – I have one myself. But when I first saw the shiny, metal anal plug, it looked regal, provoking viewers to draw their own conclusions as to what purpose such a fancy piece of metal served

Besides the aesthetic purpose, I assumed that it can also be served as a placeholder for a near future ass-fucking. The actual circumference of the the stem of the smallest plug is approximately the size of a #2 pencil.  So although it’s not too wide around, it can be used to “semi-stretch” myself in preparation for anal sex.  When I found out there were three sizes, I knew it had to be true. Starting with the smallest size and working your way up, all three were meant to stay put. The spade-shape is meant for your sphincter muscle to grasp around the narrowest point. Trust me, that thing is not coming out no matter how hard you push. I have to pull on it tight and my reflex is to squeeze. So there is no danger of it “accidentally coming out” when you’re walking.

When I put it on in the morning, I use a few drops of lube on the tip and swirl it around a few times before working it into my anus. I relax my muscles as I carefully slide it in until it’s nestled comfortably in my body. I alternate tightening and relaxing times in order to lubricate the stem and maneuver the plug into the perfect position. The first day I wore the smallest plug was quite comfortable. It was the outside that was slightly uncomfortable because when I moved around in my chair, the cap would pinch on my butt cheek skin. The next day I wore the second size and not only was the narrowest part slightly wider in circumference, but the entire plug itself pushed in me deeper too. I knew that I had to spend a little more time in stage 2 than I did in stage 1.  Eventually it got to the point to where I’d be lying in bed and I’d ask him to go ahead and put it in me, like I’d just asked him to turn off the light.

But no matter which size I have in, there was one thing that was guaranteed: Ryan was going to get in my ass that night. Wearing it makes me feel sexy and kinky. I have a dirty little secret that only Ryan and I knew about. It reminds me of our intimacy, our open-mindedness, our love of seeking new experiences together. I never dreamt of doing, let alone enjoying, 95% of the things we do. But we grew as a couple, experiencing so many “firsts” together.  I haven’t had many issues with anal sex, especially when I initiate it.  Sometimes my pussy would get so wet when I’d ride him that I’d use my own juices to slide my ass down onto his dick.  I would lift up, smear my wetness on the outside of my hole, and slip down smoothly onto his cock without one single tear. When Ryan sees the little jewel between my ass cheeks, he knows exactly what’s on my mind.  It’s similar to a mating call and a day-long way to turn him on without touching him.  I would even go as far as saying it’s more of a symbolic representation of my sexuality.  Knowing that the plug is in leaves the option of ass-fucking open.  Sometimes we don’t, even if I’ve been wearing it all day.

I haven’t done any research on others’ experiences, but I have made my own discoveries:

Discovery 1:  It’s hard to dry off after I pee at work.   It gets under the jewelry and is hard to dry.  Being at work isn’t the most convenient place to care for a butt plug.

Discovery 2:  There is no need to wear it the day after you have anal sex.  Why?  Because I’d say most dicks are wider than the jewel and for the next few days my anus will be much looser.  This means, the smaller sizes can possibly come out during different situations (see discovery 3).

Discovery 3:  Although your ass muscles are tight and strong, under some circumstances the plug can get pushed out.  For instance, one day I raced into the bathroom after work  only to find Ryan in there.  With my pants already half down and my body ready to release, I knew I couldn’t make it to another bathroom in our house so I jump in the shower, squatted down, and released (yes, I peed in the shower!).  I believe the force of my muscles holding and suddenly relaxing coupled with the squatting position (maybe helping to spread my cheeks) caused the plug to pop out. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t even realize it until I heard the heavy thud beneath me.  This was with a smaller size and the day after having anal sex.  A lot of different variables.

Discovery 4:   When removing the plug make sure you have a moist wipe ready to clean it.  Your anus isn’t the cleanest area on your body so don’t be grossed out if it’s a bit dirty.

I love wearing my plug.  I don’t feel there are any negative outcomes, physically or otherwise, by using one even for the length of a workday.  My only drawback is the limited colors and styles that are available (unlike tongue piercing barbells).  This may be a good thing because I might amass an extensive collection that could require its own bathroom drawer.

March 5, 2013

Q & A: Premature Ejaculation?

Question & Answer , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

pre ejaculationMark from the internet:

Hi! I have a problem when having sex. Even before we both start enjoying sex, I already cum.  We usually start with the 69  then go on to have sex.  She takes a bit long to orgasm. I really would like us both to enjoy sex. What can I do to postpone my ejaculation and make her climax earlier? PLEASE HELP!

Venice’s response:

Hi Mark. Thank you for your question. Do you and your partner engage in any kind of foreplay? Because I noticed that you said “We usually start with the 69 then go on to have sex.” To me, that sounds like you are both stuck in a sexual routine.

First off, I applaud your desire to please her during sex. Since you said you ejaculate too early, it is obviously pleasing to you. But now you want her to enjoy it with you. I suggest changing your routine and regular methods, positions, locations – basically anything that is out of the ordinary for you. It’s not just about the orgasm for a woman. You have to take in many factors when being intimate with a woman. Begin by showering her with compliments about her body, how much you appreciate her, how you’ve thought about her all day, how you miss her smell. All these things build up an anticipation in both you and her. She will realize that it’s not just the sex that you want from her. Fuck in different places in the house. Get frisky in public (please don’t get arrested). Anything that can spice up your sex life.

Also remember that foreplay doesn’t necessarily mean the five minutes before you penetrate her. I like for Ryan to grab my ass in the middle of the store while I grope his dick. I smell his neck and kiss his ear during dinner. He squeezes my tits…well, pretty much whenever he can! And I love it! It shows me that he loves me, he’s turned on by me, and he’s ready to fuck me.

As for making her climax earlier, change your routine, as I suggested earlier. Change the actual physical contact (lick her feet and work your way up, or lick her everywhere except her tits and pussy). Use toys, massage her, build up her anticipation. Her mind is already thinking “we’re going to 69, then fuck.” Give her the unknown, the excitement of not knowing what you have planned for her.

I commend you for taking the steps in the right direction, which is to make sure she enjoys sex with you. Because if she’s bored or just not excited, she may find other ways to get excited.

Ryan’s response:

Honestly, I have never had a premature ejaculation issue.  Although I admit, Venice will play around and give me a hard time every now and then if we experience my version of a “premature” ejaculation.  My version doesn’t happen in minutes though, it could be 30 minutes into sex and I will be grinding in and out of her body talking dirty, no orgasm feeling whatsoever.  Venice will then give me that ‘oh god, you are doing it so perfect‘ face and quietly whisper or loudly scream, “Keep going, I’m getting that cum feeling.”   I immediately feel my body wanting to orgasm from that point forward.  Remember, this is after having sex for 30 minutes with no orgasm feeling at all.  I mean, I feel like a workhorse that can literally fuck her all night, no breaks.   If she catches me on the wrong night with, “Oh god, you are going to make me cum,” I can go from 0 to 100  in just a few seconds.   In my opinion, this is just pure excitement and anticipation.  If I know she loves it, I love it more.  If I know she feels like she is going to cum, I will also feel like I am going to cum.  Whether we are in sync or my brain overreacts to the idea of her cumming because of my dick, I can immediately get that feeling when she tells me she feels “it.”

However, there have been times when I release first.  If this happens, I will offer to go down on her afterwards or offer to let her use her toy/vibrator.  I am multi orgasmic so even if I cum once, I can go again.   Most of the time though, she reaches climax before I even start, and we do this on purpose.  I will use her vibrator or our hands during very light intercourse, to stimulate her clit.   I won’t get worked up or fuck her hard, just a real nice slow fuck while we play with her sensual spots  and get her off.  What I mean by that is, I will move slow and let her feel the sensation of my erect penis being inside her vagina or ass, whether I am sitting up or laying off to the side of her.  I will slowly dig deep inside her and grind while we stimulate her clit.  She will usually orgasm quickly with direct clit stimulation, and as she cums, she will pull me in and beg to be fucked hard.  This is when I start.  The positions change, the speed change, the shit talk starts.    Sometimes Venice will cum again, but it isn’t on my mind.   It’s open season.

With that being said, Venice has also told me that she is equally as satisfied feeling me cum inside her as she is when she cums herself.  Whether it be a mental thing or not, she has taught herself to enjoy feeling and seeing me at my most vulnerable moment.  She loves it.  I’ve noticed lately she will even talk me through everything she is feeling during sex:  like how it feels when my penis head rubs her walls, how she can feel the texture of the veins on my dick rubbing through her lips, and the way my balls feel slapping against her ass (warm, cold, full, heavy),  everything.  Just last night she told me she felt my penis pushing very hard against the back walls of her vagina, and as I came, she could actually feel the sperm push out of my urethra hole and grind against her back wall and my penis head.  In fact, she moaned, “Oh god, I can feel it coming out of you.”  This idea and feeling made her orgasm.   Not only that, she laid there after I was done and said she couldn’t stop her vagina from twitching.

How does that help you?  It doesn’t really.  I got carried away.

Quick ideas:  You may try numbing cream to help you desensitize your penis so it doesn’t feel “so” good it immediately makes you cum.  You can try wearing a thick condom which has been known to take a lot of the feeling away.  You can try thinking about something other than sex, like playing a round of golf in your head or saying the alphabet backwards.   You can masturbate prior to having sex.  This can naturally help you last longer even if you do not have a premature ejaculation issue.

As far as helping her enjoy sex more?  It’s a mental issue.  If she is open minded she can find a lot of reasons to love and enjoy sex.  If she sees sex as something she does at night to make you happy, and every now and then she can orgasm too, it may not be such an easy task.  Not only that, you have to find out what makes her tick.  Talk to her and find out what she likes, what turns her on, what she enjoys the most about your foreplay.  Although above was more of my own personal story, there is a lot of things you can snatch out of that story and try for yourself.

Wiki’s response:

When deciding the appropriate treatment, it is important for physician to distinguish PE as a “complaint” versus PE as a “syndrome”.  About 20 years ago, PE was classified into “lifelong PE” and “acquired PE”. Recently, a new classification of PE was proposed based on controlled clinical and epidemiological stopwatch studies, and it included 2 other PE syndromes: “natural variable PE” and “premature-like ejaculatory dysfunction”. Only individuals with lifelong PE with IELT <1 to 1.5 minutes should require medication as a first option, along with or without therapy. For those who fall into one of the other categories, treatment should consist of patient reassurance, behavior therapy, and/or psychoeducation to explain irregular early ejaculation is a normal variation.

Dapoxetine (Priligy) is a short-acting selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) marketed for the treatment of premature ejaculation. Dapoxetine is the only drug with regulatory approval for such an indication. Currently, it is approved in several European countries, including Finland, Sweden, Portugal, Austria and Germany. Dapoxetine is currently waiting for U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approval after concluding the Phase III study, which included participants from 25 other countries, including the United States. In this diverse population, dapoxetine significantly improved all aspects of PE and was generally well tolerated.

Tramadol (Ultram or Tramal) is an FDA approved atypical oral analgesic for mild pain. It is atypical because it is similar to an opioid, is an agonist at the mu receptor, but also is similar to an anti-depressant in that it increases levels of serotonin and norepinephrine.  Tramadol also has few side effects, low abuse potential, and increases (IELT) 4-20 fold in greater than 90% of men.

Clomipramine (Anafranil) is sometimes prescribed to treat PE. One side effect of the drug can help delay ejaculatory response. The side effect is described by the Mayo Clinic as “Increased [sic] sexual ability, desire, drive, or performance.”

Desensitizing topical medications that are applied to the tip and shaft of the penis can also be used to treat premature ejaculation. These topical medications are applied on an “as needed” basis 10-15 minutes before anticipated sexual activity and have fewer potential systemic side effects as compared to pills taken orally. However, use of these topical medications have in the past been associated with loss of penile sensation, and reduction of sensation for the partner due to exposure.  Penis insensitivity and transference to the partner are greatly reduced when using new topical anesthetic sprays based on absorption technology which enable the active ingredient to penetrate through the through the surface skin of the penis(ie stratum corneum) to the sensory nerves which reside in the dermis. Any residual surface medication can be wiped off before sexual activity to further reduce partner concerns.

Another method, intracavernous pharmacotherapy, involves injecting a vasodilator drug directly into the penis to help men control premature ejaculation and maintain their erection. It has been proven to be effective in over seventy percent of test patients.[citation needed] This method is used by companies such as Florida Men’s Medical Clinic, Boston Medical Group and others.

March 4, 2013

Let Your Man Be A Man

All Sex Talk , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 5 Comments
Let A Man Be A Man
Let A Man Be A Man

Part of my transformation to becoming a woman was to pinpoint my shortcomings and rectify them.  Just because Ryan and I picked each other over the billions of people on this planet doesn’t mean everything is perfect.  I had to step back and look at myself in another light, a light that wasn’t very flattering.  I’m not saying that I’m right or wrong, but I do know through experience what works for me.

In looking at myself and seeing the way I treated Ryan and sex over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that a woman should never suppress a good man from being a man.  Let me try to  explain.

We know that men are naturally built more physically superior to women: they’re taller and for the most part, stronger.  They also have deeper voices that connote aggression.  It’s the sound of the baritone coupled with non-physical aggression that can submit others without having to use physical force.  Women can learn to harness this aggression in a positive way to use it to their advantage; this means realizing that a man is capable of violence (protecting his woman during a bar fight, carrying her out of a burning building, etc.).  We look for these characteristics in a man and we are drawn to them for survival aspects.  Additionally, society has also taught us that men wield this natural power and have the ability to overwhelm more delicate creatures. Yes, I know there are exceptions.  But for the most part, men are the more physically superior sex.  As women, we learn to control this physical strength and make it our own.    I don’t want to get to far ahead of myself, so let’s stick to our men for now.

One way men release their aggression is through the use of force.  They punch walls, they break things with bats, they lift weights, they train and release stress with physical activity, and yes some even fight or start fights.  Unfortunately, for the men who can’t control themselves, their significant other can become a target of this aggression.  These aren’t the men I am talking about in this article, the ones that become violent with a woman, those men are garbage.  A real man uses his natural strength and aggression to protect what he loves the most, his wife and family. Because men have this natural advantage over women, they should never use it against them.

This is where trust plays a big part in a relationship.  If you have seen your man at his worst, his all-time low and he still wouldn’t think of hurting you, you know you can open the doors to physically trusting him.  If you have seen him angry and he still protects you physically and emotionally, then how could you not trust him when he is happy?  When I say happy, I mean during sex.  Most men are at their happiest when they are inside their woman.  The drug-like reaction to sex gives men a natural high.  I’ve given Ryan a blow job and watched his eyes roll back in his head like my mouth was a heroin injection.  Sometimes he will mumble something that makes no sense, like he is completely gone from this world.   I get this same reaction when I ride him or when he is going deep and slow inside me.  This is when he is at his happiest.  Maybe not in life, but daily.  Nothing will make him feel the way I make him feel each day. With that being said, again, if you can trust your man would never physically harm you when he is upset or angry, then you can trust he would never purposely hurt you when he is happy.  As his aggression comes out during sex (commanding you to a certain position, pulling your hair, pinning your arms down, fucking you hard and using his dick to punish the bottom of your pussy, spanking, etc.) by all means, let him be the man his instincts are telling him to be.   Trust that your man will never really hurt you.  These inner desiress are what makes a man tick.  The more you let him experience, the more he will appreciate you.

A prime example of this is our HIDDEN CAMERA video.  I placed my cell phone on a chair at the end of the room and called Ryan into the room.  He seemed pretty surprised since we don’t usually fuck in any rooms aside from the master bedroom. My intent was to record how I could take the reins in the bed, be in control, and be the dirty, nasty woman he loves that I can become.  I took his pants and boxer briefs off and sucked his cock, making him moan with every undulating wave of my throat around his manhood.  I do this as a warm up.  Before I knew it, our roles were reversed and he was giving me sexual commands.   I listened and did everything he said without hesitation.  As he picked me up off the bed and spun me around preparing to fuck my face, I took the role of the submissive female he needed at that moment and let him totally take me.  After getting my face fucked for a few minutes, he turned me over and rammed his tongue down deep in my asshole, wetting me up just enough to make sure his dick would slide in my anus without ripping it.  This wasn’t my plan, and the young me definitely would not let him take my ass without a couple months notice and a lot of begging.  My original intent was to take control and dominate him.  Not with strength, but with my sexual prowess.  But once the animal instinct in him was roused, I knew what I had to do: I had to let him be a man.  To  suppress his urge would be emasculating him.  Never suggest to your man that you do not want him to be a man, especially when you know his intentions are good.  A man needs to feel like an animal, he needs to lead his pack.  It’s his instinct to ravish his woman and make her swoon underneath him.

I strongly believe that it’s crucial for a man to be able to show his manhood, not only in day-to-day life, but also in the bedroom.  Not every single moment, but a woman must allow him to “flex his testosterone.”  It’s a man’s job to protect a woman with his strength, that’s why a woman seeks out the taller, stronger, and all around more manlier male. Women are drawn to someone who can protect her. These are the genes she wants to pass to her offspring to ensure survival.  It’s instinctual in all species. Once a man has found his mate, it means he has found someone who has made him happy and complete. His priority is to PROTECT the one thing in the world that makes him happy.  Protecting his woman is protecting his own happiness.  The better the woman treats him, the more he wants to protect her. Not just physically, financially, or from harm, but also protecting her heart.  He doesn’t want her to experience pain and will do whatever he can to keep her from heartache.  So it goes without saying that the protection he provides for her will include shielding her heart from other men taking it from him.  If the threat isn’t physical, a good man will better himself to make sure she sees no better options.   His attention is hers.

This is how a woman tames her beast.   This is also how a woman abuses her own new powers, especially younger women.  Once a woman realizes she controls his happiness, it’s easy for her to ween him, giving him just enough to satisfy his urges. This weening process usually goes unnoticed, but it happens.  It happened to me.  Not maliciously, but I went from giving Ryan sex each day because I wanted it, to telling him he wants it too much.   What could emasculate him more than making him feel wrong for wanting his woman too much?   Even though that is the way I felt, I was young-minded.   Ryan took what he could get and slowly became more of zoo-raised lion, a tamed beast.  Although he remained loyal, mentally I wasn’t there for him during sex.  I may never have an answer for why.   And even though we were still in love, I felt like he no longer cared about protecting my attention or heart.  This could have been the beginning of the end, for both of us.

There is nothing wrong with trying to help your man become a better person, but don’t emasculate him.   By no means am I innocent of this.  I remember clearly giving Ryan dirty looks and saying things like,  “Please do not hold my head down against your crotch, I can do that myself.”  He was a good man, so for the next few years he probably never touched my head again.  If he did, I would stop sucking and glare at him.   My young mind didn’t grasp that I was turning my man into something I didn’t want.  I wanted a man, but my own ego got in the way of letting him be a man.  I was in a tug-of-war and my ego was beating the lady inside me.  I loved anal orgasms, but I hated he wanted to fuck my ass.  I wanted to taste all of him, but hated thinking he would feel so good about cumming in my mouth.   I could see a porn and get horny watching a man shoot his cum in the porn stars face, but I didn’t want Ryan to do that to me.  If he asked, I would always let him, but my attitude or body language let him know I wasn’t happy.  This took its toll.  With age, I learned that I controlled whether our sex was good or bad.  I controlled what could happen and what couldn’t happen.  I controlled where he could cum or if I would help him jack off onto his own stomach.  I’ve learned with a good man that wants to keep his woman happy and protect her, will in essence give up his manhood for her.  I never wanted Ryan to quit being the man I fell in love with and it was this thought process that led me to burying the little girl inside me.

So I asked myself, do I want a boy that makes love to me like a high school kid that is overly worried about me being mad or upset after sex?  Or do I want a  man who takes his woman and makes her beg for more.   My attitude and limits control our sex life.  I decided to grow up and let go of the invisible rope and quit playing tug-of-war with myself.  Now I prefer him grabbing my head and holding me against his crotch.   I love feeling his strong grip on my head.  I want him to roll me over and take my ass.  Our best sex is when he is in my ass and I get to be a total woman and scream for him to take all of me.  I can’t even fuck him anymore without asking him to hold my arms as tight as he can above my head.  I want to feel overwhelmed by his manhood:  his dick, his body, his strength, his attitude, his aggression.  I want to feel his 6’5″ frame squeeze my shoulders and arms as his hips push his long engorged dick  in my body as hard as he can.  I want to be his stress relief and show him how resilient a strong woman can be.  No matter how much effort he puts into his thrusts, he knows I want it all.  I want him to know I am the one that gives him more pleasure than anyone ever could.  I want to show him I have no limits because I trust he would never hurt me.   I want to feel his entire body, machine-like, turn into putty in my hands as he unloads his semen inside me.   I want to hold him in my arms and tell him I am okay as I listen to him catch his breath.  I want to run my fingers through his hair and tell him he is the best man I’ve ever had or known.   This is my role as a woman.

Let a man be a man.