Author: Venice Bloggs

February 11, 2013

A Female’s Experience With Erotic Asphyxiation

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I mentioned in my article, Face Fucking, that I held my breath because it made my orgasm more intense. Why is that? My thought process was simple: in order not to throw myself off, I had to keep as still as possible, and keeping as still as possible meant not breathing. After I tell Ryan that I’m about to cum, my body tenses up and I wait for my orgasm. In that brief three-second period, I will begin holding my breath and continue doing so until I’m about halfway done with my orgasm, which is comprised of anywhere between 15-20 mini convulsions. Then I would exhale deeply as if I lost my breath and was just getting it back. I thought that was weird, too. But I figured my muscles and insides were racing, causing me to “work” without really moving. Kind of like holding a push-up in the up position – you aren’t moving, but somehow you’re tired after about a minute.

For those of you who don’t know, autoerotic asphyxiation is:

“A form of sexual masochism in which oxygen flow to the brain is reduced, as by controlled strangulation or suffocation, in order to enhance the pleasure of masturbation.” (Medical-Dicionary)

Author John Curra wrote, “The carotid arties (on either side of the neck) carry oxygen-rich blood from the heart to the brain. When these are compressed, as in strangulation or hanging, the sudden loss of oxygen to the brain and the accumulation of carbon dioxide can increase feelings of giddiness, lightheadness, and pleasure, all of which will heighten masturbatory sensations.”

This may have gotten mainstream exposure since the passing of actor David Carradine, who supposedly died because of autoerotic asphyxiation. Of course this is a taboo subject and even falls into the category of being a sexual deviant. And with good reason: when the victims are found they are in compromising positions, their genitalia are hanging out (sometimes still erect), and for the first time their families get a glimpse into their unknown sexual activities. Not the way their families want to remember them. And taboo because people really don’t want to give young, impressionable minds ideas. Guess what: it’s been around longer than you think.

While the cases are few and far between, there are indeed instances where the media have been blamed for, not necessarily glorifying autoerotic asphyxiation, but by simply bringing it to the public’s eye. In the case of Herceg v. Hustler, the mother of a 14-year-old boy sues Hustler magazine because her son read about autoerotic asphyxiation in an article in their magazine (HERCEG v HUSTLER).

The term erotic asphyxiation is the nearly the same  as autoerotic asphyxiation, except you have a partner with you,  whick keeps things safer and more controlled.  In this blog, everything I do is safe and controlled.  I would not advise anyone under any circumstances to do anything I write about in this blog, even if you have a partner.

Now, this is not something I practice. But I can at least understand how some can derive pleasure from it. At first I didn’t even connect my holding my breath to the idea of erotic asphyxiation until recently. When I first heard of erotic asphxiation, I could not understand how people could find sexual gratification from being deprived of air. I couldn’t understand it because I, myself, would get too nervous about passing out and subsequently ruining my orgasm. As I stated above, I thought holding my breath helped to ensure my orgasm wasn’t ruined by my own movement. But thinking about it like this, I came to believe that it has some semblance in that the lack of oxygen enhanced the orgasm.

Chokes are no joke
Chokes are no joke

Recently I jokingly told Ryan that he should choke me as soon as I told him I was going to cum. I was scared at first because I did NOT want to pass out. I was afraid that Ryan would not know when to ease up on the choke hold and I would accidentally get hurt.  To prepare for this experiment, Ryan sat up on the bed while I laid between his legs. I spread my pussy lips open and began to stroke my clit in little circles, dipping my fingers inside and using my own froth to make my lips slick. I closed my eyes and relaxed. He squeezed my breasts and tugged on my nipples between his fingers. He licked behind my ear and on my neck, hitting the sensitive spot and shooting a sensation straight to my g-spot. My breathing became more shallow, shorter. I was starting to feel the beginning of my cum brewing. I slipped my fingers in me for more of my juice, circling my swollen lips and clit in a steady motion. I squirmed against Ryan’s body as his dick rubbed down my lower back. I moaned softly. Ryan knows to steady his movements so I don’t get distracted. I moan a little louder and tilt my head back. We both know I’m close. Ryan pinches my nipples harder and grazes my neck with his teeth. I tell him that I’m about to cum. The muscles deep in my pussy twitch twice before I feel Ryan slide his arm up; the crook of his arm embedded itself under my chin as he flexed his bicep. I see darkness closing in from the outside of my range of sight. As he squeezes harder, the heat flows in my eyes and surrounds my face. My eyes feel like they’re going to pop out as he maintains the blood choke on me. I feel only one more twitch in my pussy before I panic and lose the rest of my orgasm.

The result: there’s no possible way for me to enjoy erotic asphyxiation through this method because it’s ruined by my own panic and paranoia. However, I do hold my breathe as it does undoubtedly intensify my cum.

But the experiment isn’t over. The way I learned that I was holding my breath was when I first learned to deepthroat. Why? Because I can’t breathe! Being choked externally, I panic. I freak out when I feel hands or arms  around my neck and I’m not in control. The oxygen choke (what I get when I hold my breath or deepthroat) is a controlled choke. The blood choke (being choked by someone) is faster and one that causes fear because I cannot manage it myself. Face fucking and deepthroating are two ways in which I may have somewhat control over the amount of oxygen that enters my body. A good face fucking limits my air supply (but I control it) and gives me the most intense orgasms because I get the thrill of asphyxiation but the safety of self-control.

As a female, I cannot explain why men find erotic asphyxiation enjoyable; though I can explain why having Ryan’s dick deep in my throat (unable to breath) gives me some of the best orgasms. There have been many times where I’ve touched myself while Ryan kneeled above me.  I’d take his dick in my mouth and pull him down until he was completely in my throat; in doing so, I deprive myself of air. I want his dick deep down in my throat as I cum.  I scream on his dick while I orgasm making my throat and mouth vibrate around him.  This lasts about a minute.  Sometimes Ryan gets afraid I’m not getting enough air and slowly lifts his dick out of my throat too early, I’ll immediately yank him back down onto me so I can finish.  I’ve even told him that if he does this, it ruins my cum.  In other words, if he pulls his dick out of my throat while I am cumming, it throws off the rest of my orgasm.  I stop cumming immediately and do not fully enjoy myself.  Not good.  I want to feel my mouth, throat, and face full of his body, to the point I can’t  breath while I orgasm.  This intensifies my cums.  Most of the cases of autoerotic asphyxiation involve males, but this is MY version of it.  I may not enjoy physically being choked, but I do enjoy the intense cum and the thrill of not being able to breath.

Does this mean I enjoy (autoerotic) erotic asphyxiation?  To a degree, yes.  Not in the traditional sense that we’ve all read about where a person practices alone and ends up killing himself.  I have noticed that while I orgasm I do love some enjoyable, tolerable pain – I love Ryan’s dick thrusting as hard as he can in my pussy, ass, and throat during my orgasms.  In saying this, I believe I prefer this controlled suffocation as a form of tolerable pain.  I also believe the  difference lies: In reading (Ryan is not into erotic asphyxiation and doesn’t enjoy feeling lightheaded or being choked during sex/masturbation — so this article is based off things I’ve read about men and the pleasure they receive from autoerotic asphyxiation), men seem to enjoy the moments prior to an orgasm.    The lack of oxygen heightens their sense and creates a lightheaded feeling that seems to amplify their orgasms.  I’ve also read that the lack of oxygen will create a better erection.  In fact, asphyxiation was originally a treatment of erectile dysfunction.  It is said that during public hangings, some men would get erections, some even keeping these erects after death (death erections).   I do not enjoy erotic asphyxiation for any of those reasons.   For me, it’s not the moments prior, but the punishment to my body during the orgasm itself.  This punishment prolongs my orgasm and makes the feeling much more intense.  The idea of having a penis deep down my throat to the point I cannot breath turns me on and keeps my body tense and orgasmic.   The abuse and tension keeps me from wanting to breath, as I squeeze and release myself.   With my first breath, my body relaxes and the orgasm subsides.  That’s my reasons.

 To make things clear, I do not condone autoerotic asphyxiation.  Why? It’s a dangerous practice and no one in their right mind would condone that.

February 10, 2013

The Mysterious Case of Couches That Eat People

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coucheatsI’ve recently learned that two of my friends, let’s call them Crystal and Milhouse, have unexplained external knee injuries, which they are calling “war wounds.”   I, being the concerned friend that I am, am worried about this situation.  The only real evidence I have gathered is that Crystal and Milhouse were together at the time of these injuries and they were both caused by two separate couches.  I know this may seem vague and sketchy to most of our readers, but I, being a pretend forensic scientist, think I have puzzled together this mystery.   Gathering as much evidence as I could, below I will describe what I think happened the night Crystal and Milhouse ended up with knee injuries (which both look somewhat like rug burn).

It was a dark, rainy night and Crystal was outside sitting in her car with a flat tire and no cell phone reception.  As she put her head on her steering wheel trying to figure out her next move, she sees a house with a dimly lit window in the distance.  Although she is wearing a thick coat, she decides taking it off would make more sense, because the rain water will make it much too heavy.  Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t wearing a bra and her white undershirt was skimpy with the words, “Yes, These Babies Are Real” on the front, and  “YOLO” on the back.  She knew she had no choice, so she removed her jacket.   Quickly she jumped out of the car and ran as fast as she could to the house with the dimly lit window.  The ground is extremely slippery and Crystal loses her footing and falls knee first to the ground, sliding about five feet.  As she slides, her thick pants slide off her waist.  She gets up, pants down around her knees and nipples poking through her soaked wet shirt. She rubs her knees.  Checking herself for injury, thankfully the pockets of her jeans had slid down to her knee area almost creating a knee pad-like protection.  Not a mark.

Her pants, however, were ruined.  The button was bent and the hip area now had holes.  Crystal thought quickly and knew she couldn’t run around holding up her pants, so she wisely removed them and headed to the house with the dimly lit window.   Soaking wet, with a see through white shirt that says “Yes, These Babies Are Real”, the back, “YOLO”, and Mickey Mouse panties, she makes it to the front patio.  She knocks on the door and a man holding a light saber in one hand and a Canon camera around his neck answers.   He looks Crystal up and down and introduces himself as Milhouse. Crystal, soaking wet explains that she has a flat tire and no cell phone reception.  Milhouse understands and invites her in.

As she walks in the living room she notices a few couches, one by the fireplace, the other near the window.  Milhouse asks if she wants to build a couch fort, but Crystal declines.   She says she just needs to use the phone.  Milhouse grabs the phone and tries to hand it to Crystal.  However, his light saber accidentally cuts off her white shirt that says, “Yes, These Babies Are Real” with “YOLO” on the back.  He apologizes profusely and offers to leave the room so she can make the call.  She nods and Milhouse turns around to exit the room.  However, his foot got tangled in the phone cord and he spins out of control.  In fact, he spun so hard his pants and shirt flew off.  He hits the floor hard, knees first.   Thankfully his underwear slid down just low enough to cover his upper thighs and knees so he didn’t hurt himself.  Now nearly nude, Milhouse excuses himself from the room.  Crystal calls her husband and explains to him the situation.  While she is on the phone, she notices the couch begins to rumble and move.  Frightened, she pulls off her panties and throws it at the couch.  The couch gobbles them up.  She screams and hangs up the phone.  Milhouse runs into the room and asks what’s wrong.  Before he can get an answer, he sees his couches, both of them, alive, possessed.  He yells for Crystal to get out as he himself charges the couches.   Milhouse dives, jumping on the couch like it was a live alligator.  Wrestling with the first couch, he stabs it with his light saber, tearing the cushions into shreds.  The second couch is chasing Crystal, who is now totally nude.   She screams and falls to the floor for no reason before she can get to the door.  Milhouse turns around and throws his camera at the couch, but misses and hits Crystal on her chest, more than likely leaving a bruise.  He hops off the first possessed couch that he just killed and runs to the second.  He takes off his underwear and tries to strangle the second couch, but it throws him across the room.  Millhouse lands onto a wooden chest, which pops opens causing dildos and pussy pumps to fly across the floor.  He gets up dizzy, also nude, and tries to grab Crystal.  Both of them, struggling, crawl to the doorway, hoping to escape.   The couch grabs them, both of their feet are now stuck in the cushions.  They scream, their knees scrape against the floor, now bleeding, pulling with their hands to get away.  Crystal kicks as hard as she can and the couch shrieks in pain letting them go.  They both get up and make it outside safe.  Nude, yes, but safe, with nothing but a war wound on their knees.

In my humble, forensic scientist opinion, this is probably how these “war wounds” occurred.

However, there are other options, such as they had sex and got couch burns/rug burns.  But I’d say that is a bit too far-fetched.

If anyone else can help with any sort of explanation, please feel free to reply.

February 10, 2013

Hypothetically Speaking: The Reality of Us Swinging

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SwingersAs we understand it, swinging is one couple having sexual relations with another couple. However, there are grey areas here as some single men are also in the swing lifestyle. Although I’d disagree with this, I’d consider a single man in the “get ass any way I possibly can lifestyle.” If he isn’t sharing or letting someone explore his intimate other, he isn’t swinging. I’ve heard some couples compare the single man in the swinging lifestyle to a parasite. But other than that, the crowd is usually open-minded, as you would have to be to accept other couples into your bedroom. Either way, there are different types of swinging, like there are different types of porn. You have your hard swingers and your soft swingers. Hard swinging is swapping partners, either same or different room. Full intercourse, oral, anal, whatever. Each partner swaps and they enjoy themselves however they like, or however they have set up their own personal boundaries with their partners. Soft swinging is not quite as hardcore, but it is how most swingers start out. Same room sex but you remain with your own partner. There may be some touching of other partners, female on female if the ladies are bi, and possibly oral, but that is a grey area. I’d feel oral crosses over into the hard swinging, but what if it’s just a man eating you out while your partner has sex with you. That isn’t quite like watching your husband watching you suck off another man in front of him. With the different types of oral, different boundaries, oral would still be considered soft swinging by most couples.

With that said, we are lifetime members of swinglifestyle.com but have never met with any couples. We’ve conversed and explored different ideas, but never set up any dates to meet any couple because the idea turns us on more than the actual idea of sharing. We are stingy.

Then came Twitter…

Twitter has allowed us to talk to many amazing people we would otherwise not talk to in real life. What’s even better is we get to delve into their lives via pictures and endless overlapping conversations with 140 characters or less, every letter counts, which in turn either makes you a “parts 2 and 3” tweeter or a succinct one.

With me being bi-curious and Ryan being open-minded, we can talk about our likes and dislikes about the fetishes, preferences, and people in general. Recently we had a discussion about swinging. We both agreed that we would never hard swing. Neither of us have the desire to give ourselves to anyone else. Soft swinging, on the other hand, is something we might consider since there are boundaries and no partner swapping.

With that out of the way, we discussed what we would both be comfortable with.  Ryan has no interest in seeing me suck or fuck another man, AT ALL.  He is open-minded with certain things, but he has no interest in sucking or being fucked by another man.  I understand this.   We are both stubborn, but we’d like to think we are open and very non judgemental. Neither of us would ever settle for less just to get our rocks off. A lifetime of regret isn’t worth 30 minutes of experimentation, and I plan on being with Ryan for my lifetime. It’s this same attitude that keeps either of us from cheating. We both love each other and we can openly talk about our lusts and desires without getting mad at one another. As long as I do not judge him and try to understand, he seems to be okay with opening up with me about different scenarios.

For me, the bi-girl in the other couple could do whatever she wanted with me, but her interaction with Ryan would be limited. Maybe touching him, maybe helping with oral sex, but definitely no penetration. (***this has now changed as I do not mind penetration for small periods of time as long as I am in control of his dick and using it to spoon out her juices and eat her off his dick).  I would let her kiss me with Ryan’s cum in my mouth if she wanted, but I don’t want to see Ryan ever fucking another woman. Ryan has said he is totally okay with that and has explained to me that he would not be offended if me and the girl had little to no boundaries with each other. I would let her do whatever she wanted with me, including me or her putting a strap-on on and working each other’s pussies over. I think most men, including Ryan, wouldn’t have an issue with this. But the bi-woman looking to jump in with a couple is called a “unicorn” for a reason.

As far as couples go, this is pretty simple.  Soft swinging is all we’d consider.    Us girls can play if we get along and want to.  The guys can watch (***we have moved away from the idea of soft swinging, as the idea of being watched turns us both off).   Our own personal boundaries are the same, regardless of the  female or a couple.  We have no interest in seeing the other have oral sex (***this has also changed, as I am okay with Ryan and I eating out a woman together) or sex with another person, but are definitely okay with playful touching and being licked respectfully.    This would be totally up to the other couple, as we understand our boundaries are   pretty constricted.   Otherwise, we would be into same room play and watching the other couple get off while we did the same.  That sounds kinky and fun.

I talked with Ryan today and we both decided this would be a good blog topic. Other than our faces we have been very open with our readers, trying to keep everything as authentic as we can. We aren’t the greatest couple in the world, but we are honest and sincere with our strengths and shortcomings. We may flirt on Twitter, but our love is stronger than the need for retweets. With good communication and strong boundaries it is possible to enjoy flirting and teasing others, but still be very faithful to your spouse.

What do you think?

Originally posted:  Dec, 12, 2012.

***Edited on December 9, 2013.   Look how much has changed in a year?!   Our boundaries have opened a bit but we have abandoned the idea of “soft swinging”.  Although we are open minded enough to understand why some couples do this, we learned that we are not  into being watched or playing in front of another couple.  Ryan isn’t comfortable and I absolutely only have the desire to play with other women.  Instead we have opened up our bedroom to threesomes and looking for a female partner that turns us both on and fits our mold.

February 7, 2013

Q&A: My wife asked me not to cum in her. Is this okay?

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nocumJohn via the internet

Hello Venice and Ryan.    I guess my email isn’t really a question but I just want some sort of confirmation that I have the right to be mad and upset.  My wife, who is on birth control, was having sex with me about 2 months ago and said, “Please do not cum in me, it feels gross.”  I immediately stopped having sex because I was pissed  and left the room.  The next time we had sex, she said the same thing again.  This time I didn’t really want to stop though, so I pulled out and came on her.  Since then,  I have had sex a few more times and I have had to either pull out and cum in my own hand or on top of her stomach.  If I cum on her stomach she makes sounds like, “Ehhhhhh”.  Is this normal?  Do I have a right to be pissed off? 

By the way, I have been married for 8 years and up until a few months ago, I have always came inside her and she never showed any signs of being grossed out by my cum.  

Venice’s response:

Yes, you have a right to be pissed off!  After eight years of marriage you would think that she would be used to seeing, feeling, and tasting your cum.

My feeling towards Ryan’s cum is this: I love it.  I don’t want to see it wadded on a piece of toilet paper to be flushed down the toilet when I can have it in my mouth or being absorbed in my pussy or ass.  I don’t want to see it on the floor or the table or the stairs (yes, it’s been to all those places before).  His cum is not his, it’s mine.  Even after I’ve drained him dry and his balls are already creating more juice for me, it’s all mine.  His cum represents life, my love for him, his most sacred fluid and I am the only person in the world who can have it.  No one can make it shoot from his body except for me.  If he wanted to jack off (and I make sure he cums once a day minimum) and cum, he has to get permission from me or I feel totally disrespected.  I changed my whole attitude towards his cum, but with that, I would now be upset if he wastes it or makes it less special than my mind has made it.  That’s the difference between me not caring where he cums, to now caring, so I want to be a part of his orgasms, always.  If he makes his cum unimportant or something he can just jack off by himself and wipe on an old napkin, then why the hell should I think it’s special and want it in me?   I choose where it goes in my body.  I love the taste, the warmth of it as it leaves his body and shoots onto me.  If it’s on my face, I wipe it clean and lick my fingers.  I feel lucky to be the only person with whom he can share the vulnerable moment when his semen leaves his body. Taking his cum in me is just one way for me to show that I love him.

To hear that your wife doesn’t want it in her pisses me off.  That is the most extreme opposite of how I feel.  I know for a fact that a man loves to see his woman take his cum and swallow it, play with it, rub it on herself, and just enjoy his hot load as it squirts out.  Just like in porn, the final scene is always the cum scene because it’s the perfect way to end a sex session.  She’ll either swallow it, rub it on her tits, or play with it in her mouth.  That’s what men look for.  If your wife can’t do what emotionless adult stars can do, there is something wrong with her.  Husbands and wives should not only love each others’ flaws, bodies, and bad habits, but also the juices made during sex.  After eight years she suddenly wants you to stop showing her your cum?  That doesn’t add up. Something is wrong on her end and the “no cum” attitude is just the starting point.  Don’t let it turn into resentment and hate because that’s where it’s heading.

Ryan’s response:

Yes, you have the right to be pissed off.  That is insane.   I do not agree with the following either, but I can at least understand why a woman wouldn’t swallow.   Sometimes mentally, a taste and texture can just make a person gag or absolutely not want something in their  mouth, and although I disagree (grow up and get over it), I get it.   However, to request that she doesn’t want you to cum inside her vagina because it feels gross  is just an absolute slap to the face.  Unless she is off birth control and worried she may get pregnant, that is just flat out unacceptable in my opinion.   I’d go as far as to say, that is a red flag for the beginning of a divorce, being out of love, and/or her being unfaithful.  A person who begins to bond with someone else will turn their loyalty against you, just to show the other person they are now loyal to them.    Not letting you cum inside her would be a huge loyalty move/ease guilt with her new prospect.   This may be a huge assumption but the least you can do is check up on things and make sure you are still the only person on her radar.   Cum doesn’t get gross 8 years later, especially when cum inside the vagina is as old as people exist.   She is alive because of that “gross” act.

Your cum is an extension of your body and manhood, to be told it’s gross is equivalent to you saying to her, “Can you please put this bag on your head while we have sex, you gross me out.  In fact, keep it on all day and only take it off when I am not around.  I do not want to be reminded that I actually sleep with you.”

Dumb right?   Look into your relationship.  If you are messing up and have stopped giving her the attention she needs, make those changes.   Something isn’t right.  A woman in love wants her man inside her.  In fact, I’d say a woman truly in love wants her man’s fluids inside her, just as much as she wants to kiss him deeply and share saliva, hold hands, look into his eyes, and cuddle him all night so every germ on his body becomes part of her.  Not to mention it goes against every instinct in our bones.  I know people use protection and condoms, but in this case, it isn’t about that.  She called your sperm gross inside her.  EIther she is the most insensitive woman on earth or something is up.