Category: Question & Answer

Your question, our answers.  Relationship advice, sex advice, and us fielding all types of questions from all over the internet.

May 3, 2016

Q&A: Question About FFM Threesomes

Question & Answer, Threesome Memoirs 3 Comments

threeI’m the male in this situation. I have had a few threesomes. This one is planned and I have logistical questions.

One girl I have unprotected sex with. One girl I have to use a condom with. How do I do this exactly? Should I fuck one, then the other, and try not to switch back? Do I clean myself inbetween? What do I clean myself with? Do I switch back and forth with a new condom every time?

Is there a guide for positions? The last couple times the girls were not bi and I had trouble coming up with good positions. They kept expecting me to tell them what to do and it’s hard commanding two girls when they do not want to touch each other. That will probably happen again at some point so could I have suggestions for positions for a threesome with two girls who are not bi and the current situation in which they are?

Sometimes they will be confused on how to do something. Is there a good generic answer for this? One common one is a double blowjob. They don’t know where to position themselves. What do I tell them?

These new girls, thankfully, are into each other. I think probably more than they are into me.

They made me buy restraints so if any ideas include those in the positions, that would be great. Silk ties.

Starting it is also always weird too. They always look to me to initiate it, but then they resist me encouraging them. I think I will try suggesting they do things to each other? 

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March 21, 2016

Q&A: My Boyfriends Balls Smell Awful, Even After Showering

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balls smellMy boyfriend’s balls smell so bad. He showers every day and washes himself down there but it doesn’t seem to help. He sweats a lot in general so I asked him to start using talcum powder but that hasn’t helped at all.

It’s so bad that when he does a load of laundry and some of his boxers are in there, everything comes out smelling like his balls. Kind of a musky sweet vinegary scent. It’s nasty. The laundry is hanging up to dry in the bedroom right now and I had to open a window because the entire room now smells like his balls.

If he scratches or touches his balls, his hand smells disgusting after. Sometimes we are cuddling an watching a movie and I say “did you just scratch your balls? your hands smell” and he says yes.

I’ve seen him wash his junk in the shower and it seems like he does a pretty good job: he lathers soap everywhere with his hands (even in his butt crack) and washes thoroughly. But even right after showering, there is a slight funk still there.

This is my first sexual relationship so maybe that’s normal?

I’m starting to think maybe he has some sort of fungal or bacterial issue going on? I really really don’t think he will go to the doctor about this because he’s too proud and that’s an embarrassing issue.

Is there anything else we can try before I beg him to see a doctor? Maybe simply washing with soap isn’t enough? Should I buy him a washcloth? Some sort of antibacterial soap?

Any advice would be great.

Venice’s response:
We all sweat, but some more than others and in higher, more voluminous concentration of “musk.” Is odor normal? Yes! We’ve all got our own odor, scent, musk…whatever you want to call it – that is just as unique to us as a fingerprint. When I get home from work and give Ryan a hug, he knows my scent. I don’t work outdoors; I stay in an air conditioned building all day. When my daughter borrows my clothes, she’ll often say, “This shirt smells like you, mom.” And I feel that way about them. I know their smells when I hold them, when they kiss me, when they walk past me.

However, by the way you describe it, your boyfriend is just too much for you to handle. There are steps you can take to keep this odor in your living area down to a minimum. Grooming and shaving can help with odors. Make it an event and shave his balls. Not only will it help with the smell, but shaving itself is done by lathering up the area with soap, and then getting a good clean scrape of the area with a razor to get rid of the hair. You then follow up with a thorough rinsing. I never feel more fresh than when I am newly shaved because I spend more time than usual in that area to really get it prettied up.  I would also try to wash his clothes as soon as he is done wearing them as the odor will linger. I’ve also heard that changing your diet can help, i.e. cutting down on spicy and/or flavorful foods, red meats. From experience, I found that foods with fewer ingredients were less likely to upset my stomach and therefore keeping my stomach more “clear.” The same goes for red meat. I don’t know why, but chicken does not have the same effect on me.

Because our bodies have so many crevices and sweat glands, grooming can be even harder for someone like your boyfriend. But it may not even be his fault. It could be a medical condition that neither of you are aware of which is why it is difficult for you to fix. Keep a log of the methods he’s tried to combat this problem and see a doctor, if this is really something that you both feel is beyond your control.

Ryan’s response:
If my balls smelled like vinegar I’d see a doctor immediately. That’s serious business in my book! I can nearly cut off my finger and won’t go to the doctor because who really needs 10 fingers anyway right?  I can get my leg caught in the lawn mower and still try to walk it off. Who really needs two legs? I’ll just buy a pogo stick and hop around. But if there is a problem with my balls, smell or otherwise, I am going to the doctor immediately. No pogo stick is going to replace those.  I do not want anything wrong with my package and I like to think I take great care of it. Have him visit a doctor to see what is going on. Other than dipping his balls in bleach or spraying his nuts with Febreze, I really do not see an easy fix to your problem if soap is not working.

March 7, 2016

Q&A: My Husband Wants To Eat An Apple That Sits In My Vagina All Day

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apple-or-a-couple_2018271aQuick back story. Our relationship hasn’t been quite ideal, and in hopes of trying to save it, and spark some flames, I agreed to do whatever my husband wanted to help spice things up again.

Recently, he asked me to stick different things in my vagina, like apples, pears, carrots, etc.. and keep in there all day so that he could eat them at night when he came home from work.

I have gone along with it, thinking it would be something like a one time thing or so, but its been almost two months, and he shows no signs of wanting to stop.

I am not sure if anyone else has done this, and if so, what was you r experience? One of my concerns is, his and my health, can this make him or I sick? The fruits we buy are organic, and I spend a good deal cleaning them thoroughly. apple vagina apple vagina

Venice’s response:
Actually, although this is the first of me hearing of this, I think it’s a pretty neat idea. Anything that a couple does to reinvigorate their relationship should be something that they both embrace and agree to doing. Ryan and I discuss intimacy/sexual ideas and we are both pretty quick to answer “yes” to each other, sometimes without getting all the details. But that’s how we operate.

It looks like you’re taking the proper precautions with buying organic and cleaning the edibles thoroughly. I’ve seen a lot of pictures that showed people sitting on banisters, using cell phones, baseball bats, gear shifts, and animal penises for vaginal pleasure – all questionable and/or illegal. I encourage staying away from those types of objects.

If it’s been several months and you haven’t gotten sick, you must be doing something right with how you’ve gone about this with you and your significant other. My only concern (to anyone curious in trying this), is to “build up” an immunity to the pH and acidity of the fruits and vegetables used. If I were to do this, I would definitely use organic foods for health reasons (insecticides). I would clean it thoroughly with water (no “vegetable wash”). I would use small portions with smoothed edges and no corners. Lastly, I would work my up to a full day, probably by doing a fruit insertion sometime after lunch, if things go well, add an hour every few days. That’s how I would do it.

Bon appetite!

Ryan’s response:
The sugars from the apple can be a good source for the bacteria in your vagina to grow, which will throw off your vagina’s natural pH balance.  This can cause Bacterial Vaginosis, urinary tract infections, or yeast infections.  This doesn’t even include the possible contaminants that may be on the actual skin of the fruit from being handled prior to you purchasing it.

I have no idea how healthy it would be for him though, to eat a fruit that you have held in your vagina all day. I’d assume keeping a fruit at body temperature for a full day, just wouldn’t be healthy. That sounds like the perfect environment for bacteria to grow, but I am not farmer.

With all that being said, I’d do it. I’d love to eat an apple that Venice kept in her body all day. I’m pretty sure and apple wouldn’t fit or be comfortable at all though, so maybe a lollipop that sits inside her all day. I find that idea extremely erotic and intimate. I find anything that may be risky or uncommon a bit sexy and tempting. It makes me want to test myself to see how much I love Venice. As dumb as that sounds, that is why we do so many things that others find unusual. I think it would be worth the risk of getting sick just to try it once.

That probably isn’t the best answer in the world, but sexy is dirty, and we do all types of dirty things with the person we love because it’s fun and intimate. The more crazy it gets, the closer you two get. The rest of the world almost gets locked out, because you’ve done something most of the world would never try. apple vagina

January 25, 2016

Q&A: I have a cuckold fetish and I am ashamed of myself.

All Sex Talk, Question & Answer 8 Comments

cuckoldI’m a male, still quite young at 20 and am in my first serious relationship. My partner is 5 years older than me and is very experienced sexually, which for me was always a point of insecurity because I lost my virginity to her. After dating for 8 months, we entered the long distance stage of our relationship. And in my first months away from her, I developed a very strong cuckold fetish that I had not ever felt prior. But, here’s the thing: it scares me… a lot. It makes me very afraid of my sexuality, because I’ve always hoped to achieve a sexual relationship with a lover and life partner where we practice monogamy, and if there are any kinks we want to try out, we could make it happen for each other. That seems ideal to me. No jealousy involved, no shaming, no arousal from emotional pain, no getting turned on by compersion. I wish I could cut these sources of pleasure out of my system. I’m not sure what caused my fetish the first place, but it’s most likely because of my insecurities being less experienced than her and also being in different countries, where she has to “hold herself back” by being in a currently monogamous relationship. It makes me feel guilty for forcing her to inhibit herself. I have never told her about this fetish of mine. Should I? We’re open to talking about sexual fantasies and I love it – we’re very open and honest. But I’ve heard of cases where the girlfriend will be ashamed or feel unloved by her boyfriend’s cuckold fetish. Or, worse yet, she’ll be into the idea, and my fetish would push me to match her up with other men. I know that if I did this I would feel momentary pleasure but then feel ashamed and worthless afterwards. I just want to forget it all and relieve myself of the burdens of my new-found sexual interests. What are your thoughts?

Venice’s response:
Anytime you have a serious discussion with your partner, it can be terrifying because you don’t know how he/she will react: ashamed (as you said) at the thought being because of your cuckold fetish, feeling inadequate because she may think she’s not enough for you, angry for even considering her to be “that kind of girl.” On the other hand, she may share your feelings, which may be a good thing at first as it can easily go from 0 to 60 in the blink of an eye. I say this because if she decides to indulge your fetish, which the both of you will enjoy in its early stages, I can foresee it spinning out of control if there are no boundaries in place. Imagine her sending you pictures of one of weekend gangbangs or getting multiple shots of semen on her face. Because although you have this fetish, there may be some things that you deem too extreme. Boundaries, no matter how unorthodox a relationship may be to others, are the checks and balance that keep

Moving from a monogamous relationship to that of a multi-partner one (let alone discussing it) is a serious step and you may never go back to how things were before once you’ve done so. I understand that you’re both very open and honest, which I believe all couples should be, but openness and honesty don’t have anything to do with your desires as well as hers. My suggestions is to give your relationship some time. You may change your mind in a few months or a few weeks, or sooner. In the least, this may be a phase, a fleeting idea, and you slowly lose interest. No matter how well you think you may know her, you can never predict how she’ll react. However, I think allowing your relationship to age may work in everyone’s best interest. It will give you time to assess where you stand (if you want to eventually marry her), to make up your mind definitely (if your fetish will grow stronger or dissipate), and to get to know your partner better (you may gain insight into her own fetishes, and if that happens, you may have subsequent conversations about other relationship goals/boundaries).

Ryan’s response:
I am an advocate for being open, honest, and communicating in a relationship. However, since I have been married for so long my ideology comes from maintaining a strong marriage. Prior to marriage, the rules of engagement are completely different than what I believe a married couple should have. There are a few reasons why: Purpose of relationship, trust, and your history.

Purpose of relationship: Is this a relationship where you just want to have fun?  If so, why not tell her your fantasies and see if she is okay with it. No big deal. Is this a relationship where you want to possibly be married and live with this person for the rest of your life? If the purpose of your relationship is to life with each other forever, I am strongly against the idea of adding anyone else to your relationship. Why? Because you have your whole life to explore these other areas, and I promise you, no matter how sexual you are, it takes years to fully experience everything a person has to offer in the bedroom. You may want to carefully think about what your fantasy involves, especially with your relationship being so young. In this stage of your relationship, it may not be the best time to try things that I feel a couple should wait years into your relationship to start.  Why? History.

History: How much history do you have with this person? If you have a long history and you know all the ins and out of her personality, maybe, in the boyfriend/girlfriend stage could you share your kinky fantasies that involve others. Again, depending on the purpose of this relationship. If you have a short history and you have only known your girlfriend for a year or so (in your case, it’s a long distance relationship), there is no way you know all the ins and outs of her personality. Maybe you think you do, because I have never met a person who doesn’t think they don’t know their lover totally. It doesn’t matter if they’ve only been together for 2 weeks, people just feel they automatically know everything about another person simply because they laughed together and decided to cum on each others’ genitals. It’s not that easy, and in my opinion, it takes years, and I mean years to really get to know someone. And even then, the person is constantly changing and if the open communication stops, within a few months you could have a totally new person you are dealing with. Why is history so important though? Trust.

Trust: If you trust someone without knowing them, you are a fool. At what stage in a relationship should you trust someone? Well, judging by my fool comment, it would be after you really know the person you are with. This isn’t a simple process.  Again, everything still depends on the purpose of your relationship. There are variables here.

Being that I am in a relationship where we add a third female to our bedroom every now and then, I am glad we waited for our 15th year of marriage before this happened. We were able to trust each other more than we trust ourselves, enjoy the experience without any negative consequences, and have had almost no real issues after our experiences.  Again, I cannot really advise you on your situation because their are too many variables missing and I do not know the purpose of your relationship. If you just want to have fun and do not plan on spending the rest of your life with this person, go ahead and let her know your kinky fantasies. If you do want to spend the rest of your life with her, slow down.

January 11, 2016

Q&A: Why Do I Love To Be Abused During Sex?

Question & Answer , , , , 5 Comments

rough sexHello Venice and Ryan. My question is pretty simple. What is it about being abused during sex that I like so much? I suppose the variation of this question for Ryan would be, why do some men really enjoy the role of being abusive during sex? Thank you guys! rough sex rough sex rough sex rough sex rough sex

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