For my entire relationship I have been absolutely mature in everything we have ever done. I am the epitome of maturity. For instance, if Venice were to nicely ask, “Ryan, what time is that television show on tonight?”
I’d maturely respond with, “Why don’t you ask your mother what time the show is on tonight?” In fact, I’ve said this old joke for so long now it gets more mature each time I say it. And I’m okay with that.
Well, from the first day I met Venice, she was always extremely possessive of me. I didn’t mind. She was open about her possessive nature behavior and said until she met me, she was always just the opposite. I took that as a huge compliment, and I loved her caring enough about me that she got jealous. During the course of our marriage, some things were extreme, but I always thought it was cute. If I said a movie star was sexy, I could never watch a movie with her with that actress in it. And no, that isn’t a joke. She felt threatened by I guess what she considered little crushes. Like, I couldn’t watch a movie with a sexy movie star and not have sexual thoughts. This couldn’t be further from the truth, but her insecurities were always cute to me. I learned very quickly to just never mention who I thought was or wasn’t sexy (or I’d never be able to watch movies again).
However, there was ONE person who I could call a hottie, and Venice had no choice not to be offended by it: her mother. I’d openly say to her that I can tell where she got her looks from because her mother is gorgeous. This would make Venice smile. If her mom was down in the dumps or was going through her own problems, Venice would tell her mom about these compliments and they both would laugh. It was funny, but of course it was also quite flattering.
Well, somewhere along the line, Venice began teasing me about me saying her mom was gorgeous. If Venice would say, “Ryan, what are we going to do tonight?”
I’d respond, “I have no idea, what’s your mom going to do tonight?”
She would then glance at me smiling and say, “You wish.”
I’d then laugh and respond, “Yea I do…” with a pause then finish, “Your mother is hot as hell, so what?”
As stupid as this sounds, this became our playful mindless banter for years. Of course we talk and communicated seriously, but on those days when we are extra playful and she asked me something, I would randomly say “Your mother.”
Fast forward to a month ago, fresh after we had our first threesome. At this point, Venice hadn’t been as jealous or possessive in years. Her insecurity issues seemed to totally vanish.
Anyway, a few days after we experienced our first threesome Venice was getting something out of the refrigerator. She glanced over at me and said, “What do you want to eat?”
I looked back at her and said, “Your mother.”
She then looked at me for a second and said, “You wish…” but she paused and added, “…okay wait, that just doesn’t feel right anymore.”
I agreed.
What’s the point of this random moment? If you have a threesome be prepared to give up your glorious mother jokes. That is all.
One day I came home late from work. This was when Venice and I had our first apartment and neither of us owned a cell phone. I didn’t call or anything, but when I got home I saw Venice’s shoes thrown in random places in the living room. I also noticed that she had a pair of work pants on the floor and a pair of panties on the arm of the couch. Not really understanding what was going on, I walked over to our bedroom door and on the door knob was her bra. I also heard her in the room moaning. I immediately jerked the door open and ran over to the bed. As soon as I grabbed the covers Venice popped up from underneath them and looked back at me surprised and said, “Ryan?!” She then took her hand and made her life sized Kermit the Frog stuffed animal doll appear from underneath the covers as well. She made him turn and look at me, and with her best Kermit the Frog voice, “Ryan?!” Of course at that point she started laughing hysterically.
Yesterday Ryan and I were in the kitchen making homemade soft tacos and guacamole. He was in charge of the meat and I cut up all the ingredients for the guacamole. We drank a little, we laughed, we spent time together as a couple and bonded over good food. It was a great day.
When I first met Ryan we would baby talk, and if he ever got upset he would storm off and sit in a corner and pout. It was cute, especially since we were newly married. Well, one day he was upset about something that was probably very stupid and said, “Fine then,” and went and sat in his pout corner.
Ryan gets out of bed nude to grab his soda from the kitchen. As he comes back to the bedroom with his tail wagging, he anxiously asks: