Not all women, but me.
While we have sex, Ryan has said to me several times, “You feel so good, I wish you could feel what I feel.” While it’s definitely a compliment to me, I knew there was no way I could physically/physiologically relate. We can discuss how a sinus headache feels or how good it feels to have someone rub your feet, but male and female orgasms are something I’ve never really been able to compare. Not only am I unable to relate, I really don’t feel there’s anything remotely similar between a penis and vagina to which I can compare the feeling. I understand they both contain nerve endings that, when stimulated, result in an orgasm, but unless we switch bodies, I won’t get it, because I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever have a penis.
Now, because I’m very ticklish, it’s hard to enjoy foreplay in the traditional sense, i.e. being kissed, licked, massaged, etc. I love to be touched, caressed, massaged – all of that – but the tickle sensation always cuts the foreplay short. I’ve gotten better about only because Ryan knows my body. When I lay on my stomach and he massages my back, he know to stay toward the middle of my back, to press hard, or even scratch with increased pressure. When he sits at the edge of the bed and kisses on my neck, he knows to keep his hands on my upper thigh and not on my waist. If he does and he feels my back arch or if I inhale sharply as a reaction to being touched in a sensitive area, he pulls his hand away quickly. But there is a very, very brief moment between his sensual touching and a downright tickle attack where my body is in a heightened state of euphoria. Goose bumps form along my arms and back, the hairs on my body dance, and my nipples get sensitive. I shiver and moan and can feel my eyes moving to the back of my head.
For me, this is a good thing. Because recently Venice broke a bouncing sex chair (and my penis) a few months ago and it scarred/scared me for life. We just happen to be filming as it happened. Yes, that *.gif is the bouncing sex chair breaking mid bounce. Thankfully my penis made it out of the accident with only a few minor scraps and bruises.
Okay, so I left my phone at the bank. Let me translate. I lost my homemade porn storage device at a place where there are 5 nosy women just looking for something to do. I think losing my phone may be in my personal top 5 of my biggest fears. Forget my credit cards, forget my cash, I just do not want to lose my mobile smut machine.
I originally titled this blog “Congratulations Venice!” I changed it because I ended up about 7 or 8 paragraphs deep and decided to give it an actual title. My original purpose was to give a quick summary on her weight loss and tell her congratulations for losing over 40 pounds in 8 months! If you see her on twitter @Venicebloggs, maybe give her a quick tweet congratulating her. She’s earned it.
Venice never needed a damn pill. What’s funny is, at 19 she had the skinniest arms and shoulders I had ever seen on a girl. I could see the anatomy of her clavicle and shoulder bone. By far the slimmest girl I ever dated. Those pills may have helped her lose 10 pounds quickly, although probably all water weight, but she didn’t need it. She’s a tough girl. Anything she puts her mind to, she can do. Venice was in the military, so this wasn’t the first time she made this lifestyle decision. She was in great shape while in the military. I saw her go from not being able do a push-up, to doing 20. From not being able to run a mile, to running 3 (and lost 20 pounds on accident, no pills needed). This was a long way long way from her teenage days of having the skinniest arms I had ever seen and still being extremely unathletic. In my opinion (she’d disagree), she was naturally slim but had horrible eating habits (her mother gave her money for Carl’s Jr. each night instead of making home made meals) and probably hadn’t exercised a day in her life. Her arms were sticks, her waist horded all her fattening food, and she felt “fat” just because she didn’t look like a swimsuit model. She used to say to me, “Just because I am 129 doesn’t mean I am not fat.” I was just a young guy. Guys already don’t get it. But at that age, I really didn’t get it. I cared very little about any of her body issues. All I cared about was her vagina (which unfortunately I didn’t have one of my own, or before her, one to play with). I just really really wanted it. Seriously. Eat Carl’s Jr. all you want, just please eat that greasy ass burger while you squat over my face so I can study your pussy up close. Thanks.
So I have decided to add a new series to our blog. Nothing crazy or elaborate, in fact, just the opposite. A simple diary of something I want to remember for myself later. I am not trying to win a Sex Pulitzer, impress anyone with my writing, or create a smut story so detailed you guys can jack and jill off and finish before the ending. This is just a section for me to keep track of the small things we do and have done over the years. If it’s something I am doing recently, I will add a date for my own personal reference. Although we still only submit new blogs on Mondays and Thursdays, the dates will be accurate for when the sexcapade occurred.