Not all women, but me.
While we have sex, Ryan has said to me several times, “You feel so good, I wish you could feel what I feel.” While it’s definitely a compliment to me, I knew there was no way I could physically/physiologically relate. We can discuss how a sinus headache feels or how good it feels to have someone rub your feet, but male and female orgasms are something I’ve never really been able to compare. Not only am I unable to relate, I really don’t feel there’s anything remotely similar between a penis and vagina to which I can compare the feeling. I understand they both contain nerve endings that, when stimulated, result in an orgasm, but unless we switch bodies, I won’t get it, because I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever have a penis.
Now, because I’m very ticklish, it’s hard to enjoy foreplay in the traditional sense, i.e. being kissed, licked, massaged, etc. I love to be touched, caressed, massaged – all of that – but the tickle sensation always cuts the foreplay short. I’ve gotten better about only because Ryan knows my body. When I lay on my stomach and he massages my back, he know to stay toward the middle of my back, to press hard, or even scratch with increased pressure. When he sits at the edge of the bed and kisses on my neck, he knows to keep his hands on my upper thigh and not on my waist. If he does and he feels my back arch or if I inhale sharply as a reaction to being touched in a sensitive area, he pulls his hand away quickly. But there is a very, very brief moment between his sensual touching and a downright tickle attack where my body is in a heightened state of euphoria. Goose bumps form along my arms and back, the hairs on my body dance, and my nipples get sensitive. I shiver and moan and can feel my eyes moving to the back of my head.
I used to wonder if a clitoris was just a really, really, really, small penis with a similar layout and similar nerve receptors. They certainly look the same, and I’ve seen some clits that are so massive that they could easily be mistaken for a micropenis. But then I look at the texture of my clit and compare it to the texture of Ryan’s dick head and it just doesn’t look the same. His skin is tougher, mine is more like the inside of my cheek, more smooth and delicate.
And I know Ryan is curious about what I feel during sex. He has asked me to describe to him what I feel as he fucks me. I tell him to “massage my walls” and he knows what that means. It means to work his dick slow when he first slides in, not going in all the way in the first thrust. I can feel his dick head stretch my walls as he works to go deeper. It doesn’t feel like I have “pleasure receptors” in my actual walls; I only feel a pressure. Does this pressure feel good? Yes, but I can’t cum from pure wall massaging. And when I’m extra wet, I feel this pressure even less because there’s no friction. I don’t know about anyone else, but I love cleaning my ears. I love a good eargasm. Not literally, but a good Q-tip is the key. If it’s a cheapy dollar store cotton swab, there is less cotton on it, making it very thin. Basically it just slides into your ear canal without doing much cleaning. I can’t push it too deep because I don’t want to break my ear drum. The brand name (Q-Tip) is the best to use. Why? Its thick swab caresses my ear canal on the way down, then when it hits the back of my ear, I don’t have to worry about it puncturing anything vital. That instant it touches the back though? HEAVEN! This is how a HARD dick smashes my cervix – it doesn’t bend back against Ryan’s body and is forced to push my fleshy cervix deeper into my stomach area.
Because there is very minimal pleasurable sensation in the walls (the area about 2″ – 4″ in), much of the intensity comes from deep thrusting/pounding/digging. When I say there’s little “pleasurable sensation,” I don’t mean that it doesn’t feel good, nor does it mean that I don’t enjoy it. However, the deep dick feeling is 100x better if I want I’m looking for an orgasmic feeling. When his dick presses against my cervix, I feel a satisfying tickle that I can only feel during actual contact between back there. So once he pulls out, the sensation is gone…then comes back when he presses hard again. Sometimes Ryan will hold his dick in the back and then push forward repeatedly; when he does this, he sustains contact and I get to feel the tickle feeling for 4 or 5 seconds at a time instead of just half a second. With that being said, the faster he pumps, the less time there is between dick/cervix contact, and thus resulting in me orgasming.
Do I feel the orgasm feeling all the time? No. Do I feel the tickle that can potentially lead to an orgasm all the time? Yes. It just depends on our positioning, the grinding, if Ryan’s penis can stay 100% erect until my orgasm clicks (it could take up to 45 minutes to an hour of slow grinding pressure — not always an easy task), etc. Factors that DO NOT affect my orgasm: the number previous orgasms that day or that session. Umm, I guess that’s it. I can pretty much orgasm from his dick as long as conditions are right. Can I control it? No. I know how I can cum and everything can be PERFECT, but my orgasms can happen with as little as a two-second warning.
To further to describe this sustained tickle I feel, I can only describe it as someone is massaging my cervix tissue. It reminds me of the scene in the Matrix 3 when Neo had to resuscitate Trinity. But because she died in the Matrix, he was able to do his do his Matrix-y magic and put his hand into her chest and perform CPR.
[embedplusvideo height=”350″ width=”450″ editlink=”http://bit.ly/1OdRBjZ” standard=”http://www.youtube.com/v/DTNEIKm0Dno?fs=1″ vars=”ytid=DTNEIKm0Dno&width=450&height=350&start=&stop=&rs=w&hd=0&autoplay=0&react=0&chapters=¬es=” id=”ep1224″ /]
Yes, that’s what a good dick massage feels like to me. If his dick is fully, 100% hard (yes, there’s a difference between in how an 85% hard dick feels and how a 100% hard dick feels) and he holds my legs up to my shoulders and uses gravity to pound all his weight down onto me, I get a delicious shock that starts behind my cervix and radiates up toward my middle back, up to my middle stomach (the shock inside my stomach area is like getting hit in the stomach when you’re not clenching or ready for it, and can even feel like acid reflux, but without the burning feeling), and even behind my right leg (depending on how straight we’re positioned).
Because my dick-induced orgasm comes so quickly, there’s no build up for me. Instead, I think of it as a sporadic plateau followed by a similar tickle build-up in the moments right before I orgasm. It’s not super intense, but it lingers the way a lurking sneeze drifts behind your nasal passages. You can feel it, you know it’s coming…and when it does it’s an intense blow-out. Seconds later, comes the wetness that leaves us both slick.
Even though a man can never fully understand what it feels like for a woman to have sex, I hope that my metaphoric talk can help a little. I will wait for Ryan’s response blog so that I can understand his side…