Last week I went to the drug store to pick up some coconut oil. I prefer the drug store because it has the brand we know and trust and it comes in a big container. We have another brand of the same size, but I’m just not happy with it.
After finding the coconut oil, I hand it to the cashier, thinking nothing of my purchase. She scans the tub and looks at it for a moment as a man approaches the register and waits beside me. “I’m looking at this because…” she begins to say and looks at me. “Now, you use this for cooking, right?”
I look at her with paranoid eyes and feel the eyes of the man standing beside me burning a hole into my brain. “Umm…I…umm…” My mind races trying to remember the other uses of coconut oil. But the only things I could think of were sex lube and massage oil.
I must have taken too long to answer because she says, “Because of a friend of mine told me that she uses it to massage her feet.”
“YES!” I exclaim. “That’s what I heard, too. That you can use it as a massage oil.” She nods her head in agreement and I feel more confident at that moment. I add on to her suggestion and get a little creative, “It’s really good for your skin and hair, too. I just take whatever’s left on my hands and run it through my hair.”
“Ah, okay. I’m thinking about getting some myself,” she says.
“Yea you should, and it also tastes great. This is our second container because we use so much of it.”
Then I stopped talking, realizing I had probably said too much. Either this cashier thinks my husband and I use coconut oil as french fry grease to make our fish and fries, or I enjoy eating hair. I quieting grabbed my bag and removed myself from the store.
…I guess that’s better than her knowing I’ve used two containers as ass lard.
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I purchased our first jar yesterday at a local drug store. I searched the shelves for it with no luck before finally breaking down and asking one of the employees, all female of course, where I could find it. She was roughly 35-45 and gave me a little smile and showed me to the isle it was in (I had walked right past it, TWICE) grabbed a jar, handed it to me, then said, “Here you go. Enjoy.” I must have turned five shades of red! She knew what I was going to use it for. I figured “screw it!” So I answered back, “We will.” And gave her a wink.
Hah! That is awesome. The days of sneaking coconut oil as a moisturizer or cooking oil have passed us.
Random Moments with Us – Caught Lube Handed