Month: August 2013

I hate anal and my boyfriend wants it bad. His last girlfriend liked it.  I feel like I have no choice.  Is it okay for me to not let him anal me and does that make me less of a woman?

I’d like to keep my wet inbox more about sex and the physical aspect, and less about relationships and/or relationship advice.  Unfortunately, I can’t control my motherly urges. 

First of all, it doesn’t make you less of a woman to not anal, just as it doesn’t make you any less of a woman who’s had a double mastectomy, hysterectomy, or shaved head.  I believe being a woman is more than the parts your born with – it’s a state of mind, your demeanor, and your outlook on things. 

Second, It’s poisonous to compare yourself to an ex because you’ll feel like you can never live up to his memories of her.  This can also be dangerous because he could use his past as a weapon against you.  “Well, my ex liked it.”  Very cowardly and not the best way to get your woman to do something. But since you’re comparing yourself to, use it to your advantage, use it as a point of reference.  Think of the wildest, nastiest anal porn you’ve seen and become that, only better.

You have the ability and the potential to be the best your man ever had.  I’ve never analled before and my man has never analled anyone before me.  But we’ve watched enough porn(amateur and professional) to know what constitutes a mind-blowing anal session.  Now, those women aren’t my man’s exes, but I take each viewing, each video, as arsenal to make me become a better lover.  The things I learned, the things I taught myself, and the things I enjoy now are things I never dreamed of doing when we first got together.

Here’s how I knew I loved analling (though this was not OUR first anal experience together): Ryan and I started in the missionary position.  His movements were slow and deep, hitting my cervix and hitting that sensitive spot that makes me feel like I have to pee.  I could feel my pussy getting wetter and wetter, so I started playing with my clit.  When he hits my ‘squirt’ spot, it’s not unusual for my juices to spill out of my body and drip down to my ass, ass hole, and all over the bed.   Knowing my ass was lubed with my own juices, I told him to put his cock in my ass.  I relaxed my ass muscles as he pulled out; I continued circling my clit.  My tight little hole grabbed around his dick as he slowly pushed in his head.  I moaned quietly as he pulled out just a little before driving back in even further.  For some reason, me being on my back as we analled felt amazing. As he pumped his hips, I begged for him to go deeper.  I felt like he could fit his entire cock in me – something I wanted to feel.  “Go deeper,” I told him. “Deeper,” I ordered.  The next thing I knew his balls were wet from the pussy juices that dripped down to my ass, which meant his whole dick was in my ass, and I loved it! 

In previous anal experiences (maybe once or twice a year for a 10-year period), although we’ve always made sure I had an orgasm while analling, using a vibrator or rubbing my clit while he was inside my ass, I never truly enjoyed the experience. Yes, I orgasmed, but never looked forward to it the way I do today. I guess so the male readers can understand, it’s like having sex with a woman who just lays there or masturbating to a Victoria’s Secret catalog that doesn’t show nudity – you orgasm, but you aren’t completely satisfied.  His dick hurt, even lubed up, it hurt. If my mind wasn’t excited about the experience, the pain was just pain. It made me feel like I was going to just poop the bed, and that’s really the feeling I focused on. Honestly, I didn’t want to have anal because I had a young woman mentality. He should have been happy with my pussy. Since he is not, I won’t be happy with his dick in my ass. Attitude is everything. Is that pride? Is that our egos? Is it the fact we didn’t grow up and think about our knight in shining armor rescuing us from a dragon and then taking us back to his castle and sticking his cock inside our ass holes?  I know one thing, as soon as I felt the urge to want to feel him fuck my ass, to have an urge to want to see my man be a man and fuck his woman’s ass, and just know I have the power to let him enjoy these moments, made everything beautiful. Learning to be in control, learning to throw away all the bullshit society teaches you what is right and wrong about sex, and learning to enjoy the pressure of a man sliding in your ass, the same way we learn to enjoy the pressure of a huge cock in our pussys making us scream with pleasure. Once the mind accepts the act, the pressure of a dick pounding your ass hole while you orgasm is greater than any Coke can sized cocked ramming your pussy. The pressure is intense beyond words and feels absolutely wonderful.

You can turn yourself on, make yourself wet (use extra lube to make easing in more comfortable), and mentally prepare yourself for an analling.  Don’t close your mind to it because you don’t know what you’re missing!