Q&A: I have a cuckold fetish and I am ashamed of myself.

cuckoldI’m a male, still quite young at 20 and am in my first serious relationship. My partner is 5 years older than me and is very experienced sexually, which for me was always a point of insecurity because I lost my virginity to her. After dating for 8 months, we entered the long distance stage of our relationship. And in my first months away from her, I developed a very strong cuckold fetish that I had not ever felt prior. But, here’s the thing: it scares me… a lot. It makes me very afraid of my sexuality, because I’ve always hoped to achieve a sexual relationship with a lover and life partner where we practice monogamy, and if there are any kinks we want to try out, we could make it happen for each other. That seems ideal to me. No jealousy involved, no shaming, no arousal from emotional pain, no getting turned on by compersion. I wish I could cut these sources of pleasure out of my system. I’m not sure what caused my fetish the first place, but it’s most likely because of my insecurities being less experienced than her and also being in different countries, where she has to “hold herself back” by being in a currently monogamous relationship. It makes me feel guilty for forcing her to inhibit herself. I have never told her about this fetish of mine. Should I? We’re open to talking about sexual fantasies and I love it – we’re very open and honest. But I’ve heard of cases where the girlfriend will be ashamed or feel unloved by her boyfriend’s cuckold fetish. Or, worse yet, she’ll be into the idea, and my fetish would push me to match her up with other men. I know that if I did this I would feel momentary pleasure but then feel ashamed and worthless afterwards. I just want to forget it all and relieve myself of the burdens of my new-found sexual interests. What are your thoughts?

Venice’s response:
Anytime you have a serious discussion with your partner, it can be terrifying because you don’t know how he/she will react: ashamed (as you said) at the thought being because of your cuckold fetish, feeling inadequate because she may think she’s not enough for you, angry for even considering her to be “that kind of girl.” On the other hand, she may share your feelings, which may be a good thing at first as it can easily go from 0 to 60 in the blink of an eye. I say this because if she decides to indulge your fetish, which the both of you will enjoy in its early stages, I can foresee it spinning out of control if there are no boundaries in place. Imagine her sending you pictures of one of weekend gangbangs or getting multiple shots of semen on her face. Because although you have this fetish, there may be some things that you deem too extreme. Boundaries, no matter how unorthodox a relationship may be to others, are the checks and balance that keep

Moving from a monogamous relationship to that of a multi-partner one (let alone discussing it) is a serious step and you may never go back to how things were before once you’ve done so. I understand that you’re both very open and honest, which I believe all couples should be, but openness and honesty don’t have anything to do with your desires as well as hers. My suggestions is to give your relationship some time. You may change your mind in a few months or a few weeks, or sooner. In the least, this may be a phase, a fleeting idea, and you slowly lose interest. No matter how well you think you may know her, you can never predict how she’ll react. However, I think allowing your relationship to age may work in everyone’s best interest. It will give you time to assess where you stand (if you want to eventually marry her), to make up your mind definitely (if your fetish will grow stronger or dissipate), and to get to know your partner better (you may gain insight into her own fetishes, and if that happens, you may have subsequent conversations about other relationship goals/boundaries).

Ryan’s response:
I am an advocate for being open, honest, and communicating in a relationship. However, since I have been married for so long my ideology comes from maintaining a strong marriage. Prior to marriage, the rules of engagement are completely different than what I believe a married couple should have. There are a few reasons why: Purpose of relationship, trust, and your history.

Purpose of relationship: Is this a relationship where you just want to have fun?  If so, why not tell her your fantasies and see if she is okay with it. No big deal. Is this a relationship where you want to possibly be married and live with this person for the rest of your life? If the purpose of your relationship is to life with each other forever, I am strongly against the idea of adding anyone else to your relationship. Why? Because you have your whole life to explore these other areas, and I promise you, no matter how sexual you are, it takes years to fully experience everything a person has to offer in the bedroom. You may want to carefully think about what your fantasy involves, especially with your relationship being so young. In this stage of your relationship, it may not be the best time to try things that I feel a couple should wait years into your relationship to start.  Why? History.

History: How much history do you have with this person? If you have a long history and you know all the ins and out of her personality, maybe, in the boyfriend/girlfriend stage could you share your kinky fantasies that involve others. Again, depending on the purpose of this relationship. If you have a short history and you have only known your girlfriend for a year or so (in your case, it’s a long distance relationship), there is no way you know all the ins and outs of her personality. Maybe you think you do, because I have never met a person who doesn’t think they don’t know their lover totally. It doesn’t matter if they’ve only been together for 2 weeks, people just feel they automatically know everything about another person simply because they laughed together and decided to cum on each others’ genitals. It’s not that easy, and in my opinion, it takes years, and I mean years to really get to know someone. And even then, the person is constantly changing and if the open communication stops, within a few months you could have a totally new person you are dealing with. Why is history so important though? Trust.

Trust: If you trust someone without knowing them, you are a fool. At what stage in a relationship should you trust someone? Well, judging by my fool comment, it would be after you really know the person you are with. This isn’t a simple process.  Again, everything still depends on the purpose of your relationship. There are variables here.

Being that I am in a relationship where we add a third female to our bedroom every now and then, I am glad we waited for our 15th year of marriage before this happened. We were able to trust each other more than we trust ourselves, enjoy the experience without any negative consequences, and have had almost no real issues after our experiences.  Again, I cannot really advise you on your situation because their are too many variables missing and I do not know the purpose of your relationship. If you just want to have fun and do not plan on spending the rest of your life with this person, go ahead and let her know your kinky fantasies. If you do want to spend the rest of your life with her, slow down.

Sex Games For Couples: The Cocktail Party

Sex Games For Couples: The Cocktail Party

The Cocktail Party.  What can make sex more fun and playful than turning it into a game? Throughout our years of marriage we have came up with ideas that we may or may not have actually used. But nonetheless, we have decided to share our ideas with our readers. Some of these sex games may help with communication or kinky secrets, some may be for sex parties, but others just may be simple quick fun to use as foreplay. If you and your partner have your own games, please share in the comments below or email us ideas!

Cocktail PartyThe Cocktail Party 

This is not a game in the since that there is a winner or loser, but instead more of a challenge or idea that you both understand.  The key to sex games isn’t to make up some weird game where there are a bunch of rules to follow; rather, the purpose of sex games is to add a bit of variety and fun to your sex life. The goal to this game is to create unique cocktails based off the sex your having.

So let’s start with what the Sex Cocktail actually is. The Sex Cocktail is the juices left inside her body (Creampie) and on his penis after sex. Whether you have both performed oral sex prior, leaving each other wet with saliva, sweat, used coconut oil as lubrication, and then both came together, leaving the vagina and penis soaking with all your bodily fluids, this is what your sex tastes like. In other words, this is your Sex Cocktail. This Cocktail is either considered a burden or a mess (some people consider this gross or “icky”), or something special and the taste your bodies make together. It’s not a far out concept, as cleaning up creampies after sex isn’t a new idea. However, building up the mindset that the mixture of all your juices together isn’t just a freaky after sex act, but more of a special way to taste the flavors your bodies make together, adds a whole new spice to the bedroom. Especially when you both start suggesting that you use the dick to stir up the cocktail after you’ve both came, as to get all the juices mixed together. In fact, the funnest part of this game for us is all the dirty talk about making the cocktail. Whether Venice is telling me how excited she is to taste our cocktail after sex, or how she will ask me to grind my dick as deep as her vagina allows, as to make sure all her hidden juices are also left dripping off my cock when I pull out of her.  This type of talk has now taken over our bedroom at the moment.

It’s less of a game and more of a mindset.

Continue Reading Sex Games For Couples: The Cocktail Party

Naughty Selfie – Are these boots cute?

Rather than not blog anything on a busy Thursday, I decided to be lazy and take a naughty selfie! Oh the traffic we will get from a dirty PG selfie! Either way, hopefully you guys have a good weekend!  By the way, do you think my boots are cute?!


Q&A: Why Do I Love To Be Abused During Sex?

rough sexHello Venice and Ryan. My question is pretty simple. What is it about being abused during sex that I like so much? I suppose the variation of this question for Ryan would be, why do some men really enjoy the role of being abusive during sex? Thank you guys! rough sex rough sex rough sex rough sex rough sex

Continue Reading Q&A: Why Do I Love To Be Abused During Sex?

Random Thoughts: Marriage, Shallow Thoughts, Pussy Boyfriends, & Fat Cocks

pussy boyfriendsI’ve been with Ryan a long time. A really long time. Maybe not to some who are in their 80s, but in comparison to the number of years I’ve been alive. I started thinking about how I never wanted to get married. I’m not sure if it was because it was easier to not work at being in a real relationship and just do whatever the fuck you want, or if it was because I just never found the right person to challenge me at being a good girlfriend. Fortunately, and please excuse the cornball analogy, Ryan has thrown down the gauntlet and accepted the challenge. pussy boyfriends

I really don’t think that simply having parents who are still married has much influence on the type of relationship I choose to have or be in. Instead, I think it has a lot to do more with psychological issues and not just values and upbringing. Because although my parents are still married, and like every child in a two-parent household, I’ve seen them go through rough times. There’s nothing special about them – they weren’t high school sweethearts, they weren’t lovey, and they weren’t role model parents/spouses. But I like to think the household and family they created conceived the perfect me, Venice Bloggs, the same person to whom Ryan has promised his soul and loyalty. So I’ll never complain about my upbringing and everything because why? I’m perfect (for Ryan), and what is flawed and cause for break-up in other relationships, he embraces them and lovingly refers to them as my own delicious personality traits. pussy boyfriends

Continue Reading Random Thoughts: Marriage, Shallow Thoughts, Pussy Boyfriends, & Fat Cocks