Month: October 2017

October 18, 2017

The Average Time Sex Lasts (How Long Do You Last?)

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In middle school and high school the young folks sit around the locker room (or wherever it is your group of friends hung out and socialized) and talk about how long they lasted during sex with their girlfriends or pick on their friend who’s ex-girlfriend leaked the info regarding him only lasting a few minutes.  This type of talk is common place among the fellas, especially when their bodies are first introduced to large doses of testosterone called puberty.  Come to find out, in high school a lot of the boys around the locker room were full of shit.  I can still remember all the advice about how they will count sheep or go over their favorite baseball team’s roster to keep their mind off having an orgasm.  If they only knew that the chances of their girlfriend being in the 30% of women that can orgasm purely from penetration (in high school this statistic is probably 1% because none of the boys knew what the hell they were doing anyway), they’d enjoy themselves much more.  Or if they knew on average most men only last about 7 minutes before having an orgasm, they wouldn’t put so much pressure on themselves.    

It’s not exactly the most romantic statistic: Almost half of all men finish sex within two minutes, reports the New Republic by way of Dr. Harry Fisch‘s new book, The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups.

In an excerpt published on Nerve, Fisch notes that his patients are typically fixed on what the normal frequency of sex should be, but that quality — and therefore duration — should be of equal concern. He trots out statistics from previous sex studies to that end: that the length of the average sex act is 7.3 minutes, but an “astonishing” 43% of such acts are completed within 2 minutes.

This isn’t exactly breaking news. Alfred Kinsey determined decades ago that the majority of men ejaculated in 2 minutes or less. (Interestingly enough, a sex therapist recently defined intercourse lasting fewer than 2 minutes as premature ejaculation to the Daily Mail.)

But the New Republic points out that men, not women, are probably more likely to be most bothered by the figure. A 2004 study found that men reported a significantly longer ideal duration of intercourse than did women; both sexes had similar ideas about the ideal foreplay length.

So what’s a guy to do, other than get over it? A Swedish study offers one interesting course of action: Researchers had men who couldn’t make it more than a minute complete 12 weeks of pelvic floor exercises; their average ejaculation time rose nearly five-fold, from 31.7 seconds to 146.2 seconds, reports UPI.  Source: USAToday 

You’d be surprised if they did a study on how women actually prefer sex to be about 7 minutes.  Taking advice from a bunch of kids in a locker room on the idea of what good sex is, is never a good idea.  Ask your woman how long she would prefer you to last, so she is happy and comfortable.  It’s not how long you last, it’s how happy you and your partner are.  Some women (the 70% that can’t orgasm through penetration) are happy just seeing you pleased by their bodies, and if they can’t orgasm themselves through intercourse, the faster you cum, the better.

good sex good sex 

October 13, 2017

17 Things They Teach You At Blow Job School

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Ever wonder what goes down behind closed doors at blow job workshops? Wonder no more! 

1. Start slow. 

“It’s fun to start soft. Let your partner get hard in your mouth, without any motion. Just let them experience the warmth of your breath and wetness of your tongue then gently begin to suck. Anticipation will make your partner even hotter.” ― Rebekah Beneteau, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar “The Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matter”

2. Don’t shy away from lube.

“People often think that their own saliva will be enough lubrication to get the job done. It’s actually best to add a bit of lube to get started: either water-based or silicone. After a few minutes, you may build up enough of your own juices to keep the action going. Sucking on a hard, sugar-free candy can also help you build up saliva.” ― Melissa Jones, a sexologist and executive director of the Sexology Institute and Boutique in San Antonio, Texas

3. Get handsy. 

“Remember: A good blow job is 50 percent hands. Using your hands, with even pressure and friction in concert with your mouth, does more than what your mouth can do on its own. It can make or break a blow job experience.” ― Elle Chase, a sex educator and author of Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life

Continue Reading 17 Things They Teach You At Blow Job School

October 13, 2017

Parents, Don’t Forget Anal Sex When Having ‘The Talk’ With Your Children

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I hate to “butt” into your discussion about the birds and the bees, but it’s time to start including anal sex in “the talk.”

Discussing sex with any teenager can be uncomfortable for all parties involved. My mother started talking to me about sex at the first sight of facial hair growing on my chin. I remember how dreadfully I wanted to crawl out of my skin; in retrospect, I’m sure she felt the same way. Throughout our discussion, she told me about how the penis is inserted inside of the vagina, how one drop of male ejaculation can impregnate a woman, and about the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases/infections. Our talk about the birds and the bees was largely based on the same heteronormative methods most parents guilelessly follow, even today.

However, regardless of one’s sexual orientation or gender identity, every person has an anus — well, almost everyone has an anus, according to NBC News — and can participate in anal sex. But like all forms of intercourse, anal sex comes with a risk, perhaps the greatest risks in comparison to all other sexual practices. Some of these risks include:

Increased risk of exposure to sexually transmitted diseases or infection

“Penetration can tear the tissue inside the anus, allowing bacteria and viruses to enter the bloodstream” WebMD says. Many sexually transmitted diseases and infections come from bodily fluids; tears in the anus increases the chance of bodily fluids entering through the tears and directly into the bloodstream.

Risk of permanently damaging the anus with personal hygiene upkeep

According to Dr. K is Jeffrey D. Klausner, “Douching could have some serious negative effects. First, frequent douching may compromise the natural protective fluids and lining in your anus.” When the body stops producing these fluids, it becomes more prone to tears and infections, which will make passing stool — or even sitting —extremely uncomfortable. Also, some of these instruments are not rectum friendly and will cause ulcers.

Risk of weakening the anal sphincter

“Repetitive anal sex may lead to weakening of the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold in feces until you can get to the toilet,” according to WebMD. Kegels can prevent this.

Risk of causing infections, even if both partners are negative for all sexually transmitted diseases and infections

“Even if both partners do not have a sexually-transmitted infection or disease, bacteria normally in the anus can potentially infect the giving partner” — WebMD. The anus naturally has bacteria, and depending on the insertive partner’s personal hygiene, they can be exposed to urinary tract infections.

Strangely enough, “Teen Vogue”’s “Guide to Anal Sex” greatly infuriated many parents. One parent, in particular, known as the Activist Mommy, tweeted a video of her furiously ripping and burning a “Teen Vogue” June edition magazine.

“They are teaching kids how to have anal intercourse. We should not be teaching children, period, how to have sex,” she said during her impassioned tirade. As she ripped the glossy magazine page by page and threw the remains into the small campfire, she called the “Teen Vogue” writers and editors “garbage” and requested that all parents go to their local libraries and stores to demand the expulsion of “Teen Vogue” content.

The controversial “Teen Vogue” article simply introduced safe practices for those that engage or plans to engage in anal sex. Some of these tips include using water or silicone-based lubricants to avoid rectal tearing, the significance of using condoms, and why one should go slowly during anal sex.

Absurdly, some parents falsely trust that their children will abstain from sex if they never learn about it. However, just because you didn’t teach your child about sex, it does not mean they can’t learn it from somewhere else. Some people, like my own mother, never had their parents talk to them about sex, but they still learned about it through pornographic films, sexually active peers, and other outside entities.

“My father told me to not let anyone touch my fur burger,” my mother said. “I didn’t even know what a vagina was until I was about 14-years-old.” She learned about sex after finding my grandfather’s collection of pornographic films. “Two years later, I was pregnant with you.”

According to National Center for Biotechnology Information’s study, and many others, children that have “the talk” with their parents are more likely to postpone sexual activity until they are older, and will often use protection while having sex.

Nevertheless, some parents might wonder what the appropriate age is to start discussing sex with their children. It is recommended to begin as early as 2 years old. It is not recommended to begin any discussion about sex being judgmental. Never make a child feel convicted before they actually engage in risky sex; otherwise, they won’t trust you, which means they won’t talk to you about anything.

Parents, if your children are really what you hold near and dear to you, their health must come first. Therefore, the talk about the birds and the bees has to happen, and it has to include anal sex. Heteronormativity must be dismantled in all conversations about sex. Remember: Children are crafty individuals. If you don’t share your knowledge about sex with them, someone else will. Ready to assume that risk?

 

Source: RSS Feed Huffingtonpost

 

October 11, 2017

Sex, Life and Everything Podcast….

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Hey guys, we are excited to announce that we are going to start a Sex, Life, and Everything podcast in the near future!  Much like all of our hobbies and adventures, we are not doing this for any other reason other than it seems fun and it’s going to be like an audio diary of sorts.  This is also why we started our blog!  We’ve never sold items or done anything beyond a few reviews, and we did those just to get free naughty items!  Our goals  for this podcast will be to learn to converse as a couple better and discuss.  We’ve always been huge on communication and discussing our issues, which we do, but unfortunately we fall a bit short on discussing our opinions on everyday things such as current events or our opinions on them.  Life kind of creates this puzzle between two people and you begin to find yourself always talking a certain way to your significant other.   For instance, I talk to Venice and she listens.  My opinion is a bit more passionate, so rather than her disagreeing, she usually listens and is non confrontational.  This means, she doesn’t share her opinion to save a possible argument.  She is a pleaser.  As much as I need to learn to discuss with her and keep an open mind, she needs to learn to open up and share her opinions, even if they are unpopular or I do not agree with them.  Like with everything we have done, this is a learning process.   

We will take questions from blog readers regarding relationships, sex, threesomes, the swing lifestyle, or anything of that nature.  You can email us at sexlifeandeverything@gmail.com.  Please put in the title, “Question for the Podcast.”  Our podcast will also deal with things such as current events, our opinions on these current events, our dreams, and just whatever comes up in our heads.  Although our blog was always sexual in nature, at some point we switched the focus to sex, life, and everything because we became more interested in things besides sex, and our website’s direction changed.  Well, the podcast will be the same.  The direction will be more about everything, but we want to make sure we still talk about sex because we are a sexual couple and have had a lot of experiences since we started this blog.

We will record the first few episodes with the cameras off so we can practice discussing.  We eventually plan on recording our podcast with the cameras on so our viewers/readers can watch as we discuss.