Q&A: Am I Too Ugly To Give Blow Jobs?

too ugly blow jobsAm I Too Ugly To Give Blow Jobs?

I am a 21 year old female and struggle to enjoy sex with my boyfriend.  He is 27 years old.  I’m always horny and always down to have sex. I’ve never been with someone who I have found so unbelievably attractive and for some reason that puts me down. I feel embarrassed to take my clothes off.  I have a mom bod with stretch marks and I’m chubby.  I also don’t think I have the prettiest face. All I can think about during sex or giving him oral is how unattractive I look or if I’m even pleasing him, or if he is thinking about someone else. I have faked many orgasms just so he can finish or we can be done, I don’t think I remember the last time he made me cum. I cant even watch sex scenes during movies/shows with him because It makes me so insecure and down. I have asked him if I’m properly pleasing him or if there’s anything I can work on & he tells me no. I can’t even enjoy when he does go down on me (which he barely does & makes me feel like he doesn’t want to) because I’m so worried about myself. If I’m being completely honest it makes me tear up & get really emotional. It affects my daily life. (Please be nice, I’m just looking for some help & advice)

Venice’s response to too ugly for blow jobs

The good news is, if you are following the amazing guidelines in my Blow Job Bible, he won’t be able to see straight.  

With that said, I am sorry you have such a negative outlook on yourself.  If you don’t feel sexy, why would he find you sexy?   First of all, confidence is sexy.  Are you sucking his dick with confidence?  Or are you sucking his dick and scared to look at him in the face.  Scared to be extra dirty.  Scared to moan sexy or do all the things you know could be sexy, but because you are self-conscious, skip all that. 

You have to suck dick like you don’t have a care in the world.  Lose yourself in how sexy you look with a dick in your mouth.  Show him confidence.  Show him you’re sexy because you say you’re sexy.

I don’t know exactly how to make you feel pretty to him, but I do know you need to have more confidence in yourself.  Everyone deserves good sex.  Everyone deserves to be treated like they are beautiful.  You should demand it.  How he treats you outside of the bedroom is a big sign on how he feels about you in the bedroom.  If he treats you good, tells you you are beautiful, stop over thinking it.  If he doesn’t do that, maybe find a man that will.

Ryan’s response to too ugly for blow jobs

ugly blow job

Let’s be honest, even the most beautiful person in the world (male or female) looks like a bug-eyed mosquito while sucking dick.  Nothing is very pretty about seeing the veins pop out in her forehead, eyes water, her mouth stretched, and spit all over her face.  And at the same time, nothing is more beautiful.   

The ugliness of sex is what makes it so damn sexy.  The painful looks she makes while she orgasms, the various faces she makes while she is jackhammered, the face fucking, the runny make up, the slobber.   Lovely.

No matter what you think you look like, what does he think you look like?  I assume if he is dating you, he thinks you are beautiful.  If he goes out in public and holds you, is proud, and shows you off to the world, he adores you.  When he watches you giving him a blow job, it doesn’t change, it just gets better.   If he doesn’t treat you like his princess and show you off in public, then this is just a self esteem issue you have to deal with.  Until you treat yourself like a beautiful person, no one else will either. 


How Long Does Cum Stay Inside Our Vaginas?

cum vaginasHow Long Does Cum Stay Inside Our Vaginas?

Most people do not really think about this type of thing because it’s nature.  Why is the sky blue?  Why is the grass green?   Why is water wet?  Does God exist?  What is the meaning of life?  How long does cum stay inside of our vaginas?

Although it seems like a silly question, it’s asked quite frequently.  Especially when new to sex and the idea of having someone else’s fluids inside you seems weird. 

Studies show that rape kits / swabs can detect the presence of semen up to 48 hours after ejaculation.  This means, your boyfriend’s sperm can stay inside your vagina and around your cervix for up to 2 days.   However, sperm doesn’t stay still.   Those little guys were built to swim.  So after a man ejaculates inside you, his sperm begins the journey up your cervix so they hang out inside your uterus.   As reported by the Mayo Clinic, sperm can live inside the uterus for up to 5 days.  What’s even more interesting is the y chromosome from a man is detectable inside our vaginas for up to 8 days!   The gift that keeps on giving.

So after two days and you feel your panties getting slightly wet, don’t be ashamed to giggle and know, yes, that is a little bit of your guy still leaking onto your panties while you work.  Be proud!

Q&A: Should I Tell The Husband’s Wife he is Gay and Sleeping With Me?

gay husbandQ&A: Should I Tell The Husband’s Wife he is Gay and Sleeping With Me?

We met on Grindr. I live in a major city, he lived in a small suburb about 40 minutes away, so we always met up in my city for dates and my apartment for sex for the past 3 years, once or twice a week. Plus he went to a gym that was close to my apartment, so he was always in the area, there was never really a reason for me to go out to the suburbs. We were never exclusive, and he’s bisexual, so I knew he was having sex with both men and women while we were doing our thing.

One day without any warning he blocked my number. I needed to know what I’d done wrong. So I started sleuthing online, trying to find an e-mail address I use to write him, if only to get closure. He has a very generic name (like “John Smith” but not actually “John Smith). I don’t use Facebook, and so when he said he didn’t have Facebook, it didn’t really raise any red flags for me. But I got on Facebook and start searching for everyone with his name: no luck. I knew he was friends with a trainer at the gym, so I found the trainer on Facebook, and started going through his friends list: no one with that name. But I found someone else with his picture. And he was married.

gay husbandI’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I’ve been having sex for the past 3 years with a married man whose name I didn’t even know. Not only did he tell me his name was “John Smith” but he told me he’d been engaged but broken up with his fiancee because he’d caught her cheating, and while he was heartbroken, realized he was bisexual and decided to explore that side of his sexuality. Instead, he was married and he’d been cheating on his wife.

A part of me wants to contact his wife to tell her he’s been having unprotected sex with other women and men. I don’t know whether it’s out of concern for her health and safety–I’m on PreP but I doubt she is–or to satisfy my need for vengeance. But another part of me doesn’t want to out his sexuality. I don’t know what to do.

Venice’s response to gay husband

gay husbandInteresting question.  Part of me says tell the wife, because she deserves to know.  The other part of me says, snitches get stitches.  

Let’s try to figure out why he blocked you.

The chances are, when he blocked you he was already caught.  Especially if he blocked you for no reason and without warning.  Whether it be she found emails or texts from you two, or another man (or woman).   In the process of working it out, most people require all outside contact is shut off, cold turkey.   Whether it be from her, or from him showing her that he will never do it again.  A guilty conscious, him trying to do what is right, or her doing it for him and him being cooperative.   Him reaching out “one last time” for closure, shows he cared.   We have to assume he told his wife he doesn’t care about any of them, it was just sex.

Sound familiar?

If you do reach out, just know, the wife is more likely to believe him than you anyway.  You may cause an argument, but he will more than likely find a way to label you as some weird stalker from the gym.  He’ll downplay anything he has done. And once they’ve cleared that up, him ever contacting you again is definitely out of the picture. 

My advice is let him go and move on.  If he has already made the steps to block you, and it really was without reason, then she probably already knows.  Blocking you seems reactive to them probably getting in a fight over her seeing the emails herself.  If you ever want to see him again, show him you can keep your relationship discrete and do your own thing.  

Remember, you aren’t just calling her and letting her know he is a cheater, you are calling her and letting her know he is a cheater and gay.  Be careful.

Ryan’s response to gay husband

gay husbandIt seems like him blocking you for no reason would be the biggest hint that she already knows.  He was probably already caught.  His reaction was to block everyone to show her he is a changed man.  Telling the wife only shows that he will never be able to trust you again, if he ever did (he has been lying to you the whole time).  You’re not going to be the hero that saves her from STDs, but you will get that revenge you may subconsciously want.  

I find it hard to believe after 3 years with “John Smith” you didn’t already know the deal.  I think now that you lost contact,  you are desperate and trying to think of any way to get back in contact with him, even if its through his wife.  Start the healing process and let it go.