Day: March 29, 2023

How To Watch Porn Together As A Couple

Scenario:  You are sitting in a dark room with a bag of Cheetos half eaten, sweat dripping down your eyebrows. You are licking your lips and madly clicking your mouse with your eyes focused on your computer screen. You slowly lean back and unzip your pants, getting Cheeto crumbs all over your crotch. 

The door whips open…

All of the sudden your wife is standing behind you holding 2 bags of groceries. She drops the the grocery bags as she screams, “Oh my Gosh!”  Both bags of groceries drop from her arms in slow motion to the floor and the milk gallon bursts on impact splattering white liquid all over the room.

Not exactly the white splashing liquid you wanted to splash all over the room right?  Well, it doesn’t have to be like this. You are not a teenager anymore and there is no need to feel ashamed of enjoying the thrill of seeing naked strangers fuck.  

Things To Overcome When Watching Porn Together

• • •  It can be extremely embarrassing for a woman to admit that they enjoy watching porn. 
      • • Women feel their partner will not view them as “innocent” if they agree to watch/enjoy a porn together.
          • • Don’t porn shame her.
        • Women feel their partner will think that just because she enjoys watching a video of a woman banging two guys that automatically means she herself wants to bang two guys.
          • • Do not assume or force ideas onto your partner about things you see in videos.  Just watch and enjoy.  You can talk and be open, but keep it light-hearted and let her tell you her kinks, not YOU tell her what YOU think her kinks are because of a video you chose and she had an orgasm to. 
        • Women avoid porn because they feel their partners may then think they have total permission to watch porn or force them to try they things they watch together.
          • • Just because you watch a porn together once doesn’t mean when she comes home from work you should have a porn video on the large screen like it’s an episode of The Office.
        • Women can get jealous of porn stars, their bodies, and the various acts they perform.
          • • Try not to obsess on a porn star or their bodies. Some women are self conscious and this insecurity makes them feel totally uncomfortable watching porn stars.  This is also a jealousy issue, and one of the biggest road blocks when dealing with enjoying porn together for both partners.
    • It can also be embarrassing for a man to admit they enjoy watching porn.
      • • Most men have watched and masturbated to porn whether they admit it or not. But for them, porn has became a ritual they do by themselves, secretly, because that’s how they’ve always watched it.
          • • Don’t porn shame him.
        • Some men prefer not to watch porn with their partners because they have issues with their own penis size and do not want their partner to study, or be “ruined” by seeing other dicks in action.
          • • As mentioned above, jealousy is a huge issue when watching a porn with your partner.  From body shape, breast size, penis size, to the various acts porn stars perform, it can create insecurities.  Be open and do not obsess on the porn stars dick size.
        • Some men and women feel that watching porn is cheating.
          • • Every relationship is different, and cheating is dependent on your relationship and the rules all parties in that relationship have agreed upon.  And this is why watching porn together could totally remove the cheating aspect.
    • A lot of people have moral issues with the idea that people are paid to have sex while others watch.  Whether that be making porn videos or prostitution.  
    • Religious beliefs may prevent someone from enjoying watching porn.

So how do you overcome some of these issues?  First, you want to read them again and understand them. The only way you overcome them is understanding them.  From there, communication and acceptance are important.  Talk to your partner and make sure they understand that no kink or fantasy they may have will ever be shamed by you, no matter what the kink may be.

Communicate

As with most relationship choices, talking about your desires is always a good first step. And I don’t mean yelling out, “Hey, instead of watching Curb Your Enthusiasm tonight, let’s watch this video called Tranny verse Granny.”

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship.  And despite the taboos involved with watching porn together, it can be something we’d consider healthy in a relationship because it keeps you and your partner sexually open. Sit your partner down and let your partner know that you would love to do something tonight that is a bit naughty. Maybe even suggest a weekly game. One week your partner can pick out something they want to do that they feel is naughty, and the next week you can do something you choose.  

A Few Reasons Why Watching Porn Together Is Healthy For Your Relationship

• • • Watching porn together can bring you and your partner closer together.
    • Watching porn together can lead to intimate and honest conversations.
      • • This is a good way to open up about your possible kinks. 
    • Watching porn together can replace foreplay when kissing and cuddling isn’t enough. 
    • Watching porn together can spark new ideas in the bedroom.  You might even discover you like things that you have never even considered.

Choosing the right video.

The internet is filled with porn. Which, if you’re not a seasoned user, can make it hard to filter through to the stuff you like, and harder still for two people to find something they both like. With that said, a lot of mainstream porn can be violent, misogynistic, and unrealistic, so talking about your boundaries beforehand is important.  A good start is finding videos that can be sexy and fun.  Maybe try a website like MrSkin.com.  This site not only can get you worked up, but it can also lead to fun and kinky conversations regarding various topics in the movie industry and all the various sex scenes in movies.  

Just be careful with the main “tube” porn sites, because even a simple search for “threesome” could yield results featuring step-siblings, or other taboo-themed content, which may or may not be too extreme.  If you’re searching together, make sure you keep an open line of communication and ask your partner prior to clicking a video if this is something they’d be interested in.

For us, our first video together was a VHS tape, starring Ron Jeremy.  How do I remember this?  Because it was the only video I had in my collection.  The internet was around, but our connection was dialup and watching videos online just wasn’t possible for us. So we had our lucky VHS tape and would probably make it through half a scene before we’d turn it off and make the magic happen. 

Take turns

Once you have a sense of each other’s boundaries, maybe take turns on which video you decide to watch together.  This can help open the door to talk about kinks and things you may be interested in and your partner doesn’t know about.  It also gives your partner the same opportunity.  

Do (or do not) try this at home.

One of the great things about watching porn as a couple is that you might see something you want to try yourselves. This can be a good staging area for consent, because you’re both watching the same act in real-time and can agree together if you’re into it, versus one person trying to incorporate something they once saw on their own.  Just a quick little comment like, “Hey, that looks kind of hot, what do you think?”  If your partner responds, “It’s very hot.”   You can then follow up with a passive question such as, “Is that something you think you’d like to try or not really?”  If the answer is not really, move on.  Remember the huge list at the top of this article that talks about all the things you need to overcome when watching porn together?  This is a huge red flag. Do not pressure your partner to try the things you see in videos, this is the exact reason a lot of couples can’t watch videos together.