A Real Couple Blogging About Sex, Life, and Everything In Between +

December 3, 2020

PLEASE HELP! I got a glass dildo stuck inside me. How do I remove it?

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PLEASE HELP! I got a glass dildo stuck inside me. How do I remove it?

I accidentally got a glass “butt plug” stuck inside my anal cavity while I was masturbating.   I took an enema and I’m currently waiting on the toilet.

Any suggestions?

Update 1:  glass dildo stuck inside me

I’m at the ER waiting for an X-RAY. Please y’all, do NOT use things that are not meant for your butt. It’s not worth it. I’m so disappointed in myself because this could have easily been avoided.

Update 2:

They could see it in the X-ray and they said it’s pretty low in the rectum (thank god). The doc is going to perform a rectal exam and remove by hand/using an instrument.

Update 3: glass dildo stuck inside me

The doc did the rectal exam and wasn’t able to retrieve it. OH MY GOD IT FKN HURT. He could see it but the object is in such a difficult position; making it difficult to retrieve. I will have to go through a more invasive procedure. This fkn sucks guys. I THANK you all for pushing me to go into the ER. This could have escalated terribly.

Wow! thanks for the attention and awards guys! I did not expect my post to gain this much traction. My interaction with all of you has certainly made my situation better. I am still waiting for surgery to call the doc back.

Update 4: glass dildo stuck inside me

Surgery department called back and is doing my case today. I just finished taking the COVID test (OMG ALSO) and I am now awaiting transport. Thanks for your support everyone. You all are really making this process easier.

Update 5: glass dildo stuck inside me

This all feels like a dream, or nightmare I should say. I am still in my room waiting for the COVID test to come back. Once that happens, I will finally go through a minimally invasive surgery🤣. Again, THANK YOU ALL. I have been on Reddit for the past hour, reading all of your comments and replying. I will update y’all more soon. You all are legends in my eyes 🤙

Update 6: glass dildo stuck inside me

40 mins later, I’m about to go into the OR. See y’all later.

Update 7: 

I’m in the post op room and they got it out without any complications. YAY! I’m feeling very groggy and I’m awaiting for my ride to pick me up. The general anesthesia was crazy. Although I should be happy for not having any surgical complications, I shouldn’t even be here in the first place! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, take this post as a lesson for everyone to use proper sex toys. I literally have just gone through hell for something so stupid and unnecessary.

Update 8: glass dildo stuck inside me

Hey everyone. It’s 4AM, and I just got home. This has been a wild ride. I’m reading through this post, and my god you guys are funny😂. Y’all really helped me get through this so I appreciate every single upvote, comment, and award. I am feeling no effects from the procedure except a little bloating. I’m still a little groggy.

If this ever happens to you, please please seek medical attention. Take deep breaths and don’t panic. You can try to fish it out with your fingers but please be sure to not push it in further like I did. As soon as you don’t feel it with your fingers, brave up and go to the ER. Taking a laxative may help or push it even deeper. I initially planned to wait and poop it out or pull it out but you guys really encouraged me to go to the ER. All of you honestly might have saved me from terrible terrible health consequences. I have learned my lesson and will never ever ever stick anything up my ass besides sex toys. I hope this post saves someone from potentially doing the same thing.

Stay safe everyone, and enjoy responsibly.

Note:

Oh yea, some of you don’t know if I’m male or female. I am a straight male who likes butt play. So being in the hospital is even more awkward than it has to be.

 

Source:  Reddit (post closed, no more comments)

December 2, 2020

Public Service Announcement for Men: Don’t Ruin Our Orgasms!

All Sex Talk 1 Comment

Public Service Announcement for Men: Don’t Ruin Our Orgasms

If we say we are about to cum, don’t stop what you are doing!

Ladies, has this ever happened to you?

You are trying to focus your vision, while feeling his penis slide back and forth inside your body, but everything is a bit blurry.  You feel  totally paralyzed but can still feel the jarring of your body from your man fucking you.  Your spine is tingling, you feel a spark in your labia, and your vagina has this warm sensation growing deep inside of your cervix.   You are so high from his dick, you can barely function.  You can’t even mumble a phrase properly, let alone talk in coherent sentences.  And then you snap out of it.  It’s about to happen.  The orgasm almost surprises you so you scream out, “Oh my God, I am about to cum!!!!“

And then… his reaction.

 

Reaction 1:   Your man pulls his dick out and jumps down to your pussy and starts sucking on your clit and eating you out.

Reaction 2: Your man starts jackhammering and choking you as you try to cum.

Reaction 3: Your man slows down and tries to kiss you passionately, showing you how much he loves you while you are trying to cum.

Reaction 4:  Your man immediately pulls out and cums all over you, your breasts, or your face right in the middle of your orgasm.

Reaction 5:  Your man gets so turned on from hearing you say, “Oh my God, I am going to cum” that he immediately cums inside of you and flops down like a sloth on top of you.

 

Now, I am not saying all these reactions are wrong for every girl, but definitely wrong for me.  Some women may love these reactions.  Knowing they can control you.  Some women may even say they are going to cum just to manipulate you.  It’s easily the fastest way to trigger your lover and make him lose control.  Famous words to make every man stop watching the clock, “I’m going to cum!”

However, let’s say we were actually in the middle of our orgasm.  For the love of God, hold off from cumming for at least 40 more seconds!  Maintain and edge!  Don’t start jackhammering, choking us, or spitting in our faces.  Definitely don’t slow down and try to kiss us, whispering how much you love us while we’re in the middle of an absolute explosion.  Don’t pull your dick out and start eating us out.  I know you want to taste my cum, but wait until I am done and you can taste all of my cum you want, and if you are really kinky, yours too!  And for sure don’t pull your dick out and cum all over our faces.  The last thing I want to do while I cum is pull off a matrix dodging cum and doing a squint dance with my eyes.  I just want to fucking cum!

Keep doing exactly what you are doing! Trust your movements, your pace, your sex.  You already did everything you need to do to get us off, so keep fucking doing it!  

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November 25, 2020

Question for men: Are you against having your ass touched and/or tasting your own cum? And if so, why?

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eat your own cumQuestion for men: Are you against having your ass touched and/or tasting your own cum? And if so, why?

I’m asking because every single man I’ve been with (including my current boyfriend) has been firmly against those two things. The men I’ve fucked have constantly touched/entered my ass enjoying anal.  They have also shoved their fingers in my mouth after fingering me without it even being a second thought or discussed.  Even though I am totally cool with it, I just want to know why men won’t kiss me after cumming in my mouth.  It seems silly to me I don’t get it.

Venice’s response to tasting your own cum

I find it silly as well.  In fact, for me, this isn’t even something I’d accept.  Anything I feel like doing, I am going to do to my husband.  We can even mix those two scenarios together.  If I decide to finger his asshole and stick it in his mouth, he better suck on my fingers.  I’d be upset if he didn’t.  With that said, we are married.  It took a long time for us to get comfortable with each other, trust each other with all our dark skeletons and kinks, and be able to do whatever it is two humans can possibly do to each other without having to worry about judgement.

I’d think with dating or random hook ups, the man risks kissing you after he cums and not knowing if you will keep his secret.  He hasn’t talked to you enough to know you would love that type of thing.  He also hasn’t talked to you enough to know that you wouldn’t tell every single friend how he licked his cum off your chest after he came.  Whether we accept it or not, a man doing those types of things may emasculate him to other men that hear about it.  So they keep their guards up. 

Until they trust you… and then you can stand them on their heads and milk their cocks into their own mouths.

Ryan’s response to tasting your own cum

Without a lot of experience with women other than my wife, I can’t say what I would be like as a single man.   I do think women who are okay with tasting themselves, shows me they are confident, know their body is clean, know their pussy is good, and to taste themselves is a huge turn on for me.  If a woman was grossed out by her own body, I would probably be turned off.  Or just want to get it over with as fast as possible.  

Let’s flip the coin.

If a man eats his cum, or goes down and eats his own creampie, not all women find that attractive.  They may actually see it as emasculating, or beta.  Something cucks do.  Although we don’t kink shame here at sexblogging, not all women want a man that is beta or a cuck.  So a man has to worry about looking weak, or looking like a beta to a female.  Even if he wanted to kiss you after he came in your mouth.  It goes back to the idea of women can do gay things and not be judged by other women, while men doing gay things are looked down on by straight men.  

And as far as boyfriends, dates, or short-term relationships go, a man may just stay reserved.  If you break up with him, who knows who you will tell about how he gargles his own semen after he drinks it from your vagina.  Like Nessa said, it’s probably something you will find out men enjoy when you are in long-term relationships, or married.

 

November 18, 2020

Have you ever lost a condom inside your vagina?

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condom lost and foundLost a Used Condom Inside My Vagina! 

Have you ever lost a condom inside your vagina for 4 days?  Yea, me either.  But I did read an interesting question from from a young lady regarding her experience.  We have decided to do a bit of back and forth dialogue regarding the topic and different scenarios.  

I’m 20 years old and have a story about a missing condom.  So  yesterday I was in intense pain while peeing and immediately called my doctor for UTI screening which I have never had before. The rapid test came back negative and my urine was sent to a lab for more accurate results. The day continues on and the pain decreases as I continue to hydrate and drink cranberry juice…weird.

This morning I pee with little to no pain and when I stand up a piece of condom falls out of me and I’m STUNNED. Never in my life has this happened before and I hadn’t had sex since Friday which means the piece of condom has been in me for 4 days now. We knew the condom had broke, but I didn’t realize that it had broken off inside of me. There is still SLIGHT discomfort when I pee but nothing even remotely comparable to yesterday morning.

I really just cannot stop thinking about this and was wondering if anyone has had similar experiences and knows if there are precautions I should be taking. We are both presumably STI free and I am getting tested soon regardless. I am on the pill and he pulled out, but is there anything else I should be keeping on my radar (toxic shock, infection of some kind, etc), or am I being paranoid? Can anyone share similar experiences?

Venice:  I have never had this experience but I do wonder why it would hurt to urinate if she didn’t have a UTI.  Unsure how a condom inside her vagina would hurt to urinate.

Ryan:  Maybe it was covering her urethra and filling up inside her like a water balloon every time she went to the bathroom?

Venice:  Oh my gosh!  How do you walk around with a water balloon inside your vagina and not notice!

Another experience with losing a condom:

I had a condom in me all night and the next day. I had no idea and no pain it just fell out when I peed thank fuck. I leaned after that to always check it’s been disposed of and to pay attention to the guy taking it off and if I didn’t see ask.

Venice:  Is it like a style for guys to wear baggy condoms now? wtf?

Ryan:  Not uncommon for a guy to buy magnum condoms when they do not need a larger size.

Venice:  Oh yea, I remember that article.  It’s either an ego thing or  they just have no idea what they are doing when they put a condom on.

Ryan:  What bothers me though is what type of guy pulls out of  a woman and notices he doesn’t have a condom on anymore, but doesn’t say anything?  

Venice:  The worst kind of guy.

Ryan:  It’s not like your keys or your cell phone.  You don’t forget where you put that dang condom while having sex.  

Venice:  I can’t imagine pulling out and looking down at your unprotected penis and saying, “Where did I leave that damn condom again?  Ugh, let me retrace my steps.”

Ryan:  I agree.   I would be horrified if my condom fell off after sex.  

Venice:  Yea, but some guys do this on purpose.  It’s like a weird form of stealthing.

Ryan:  That’s crazy.

Venice:  And illegal.

Another experience with losing a condom:

This happened to me quite a bit, my body rejected condoms and they either always split or the whole thing ended up inside me and had to be fished out. Longest I had some in there was a couple days but I did not have pain.

I would go back to the doctors just in case If I were you!

Ryan:  This is a common thing?

Venice:  I don’t think so, but we never used condoms so I just don’t have those types of experiences.

Ryan:  She just seems way to experienced.  I mean, she has fishing expeditions and has a leaderboard on how long certain boyfriends left condoms inside her?

Venice:  I wonder if she has ever speared Moby Dick?

Ryan:  Oh my…  do you think you could lose a condom inside yourself?

Venice:  Well, if you never told me, probably.  It’s not like I sweep my vagina for foreign objects after we have sex together!

Ryan:  But if you knew, would it be hard to find inside your vagina?

Venice:  If I knew, no.  The vagina isn’t that complicated.   But I have experience exploring mine and other women, so I am no stranger to how a vagina should feel.  And truthfully, there isn’t much to it.  I think the term “fished out” is appropriate, regardless of how bad or funny that may sound.

Ryan:  I am sure blogs like these get all the girls super excited about finally having sex with their boyfriends and deep sea fishing inside their vaginas for lost condoms!

Venice:  This is definitely on every girls secret bucket list.  Have my boyfriend’s used and full condom sit inside my vagina for days, fill up like a water balloon when I urinate until it burns, and eventually come out in parts and pieces.

Ryan:  Every girls dream.

November 11, 2020

Q&A: My boyfriend tells me my vagina smells, I’m his worst lover, and then cheated on me.

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worse boyfriend cheatedMy boyfriend tells me my vagina smells, I’m his worst lover, and then cheated on me.

I am 26 years old and my boyfriend is 28.  I am upset because he keeps telling me that all his previous girlfriends used to pleasure him in the best way by giving him amazing head and prostate orgasms .  He complains that I am just too vanilla for him.

My backstory:  I lost my virginity to him 2 months ago, and he always says I make too much noise or that my vagina smells. I feel like he’s always complaining, but god forbid if I tell him he’s making the slightest mistake. I just want to have smooth communication, but he’s my first boyfriend so I don’t really know how.

Last week my heart broke into a million pieces because I went out to buy candles and cute lingerie to surprise him and show him that I could be better in bed, only for him to come home from work with a long face to “talk”. I’m not an idiot, so I knew this meant he was gonna rant to me about how he’s not getting enough pleasure from the bedroom. And boy do I wish it was that. He told me that his coworker has been flirting with him and he couldn’t help himself. They had sex but he swore he didn’t catch feelings and it was a one night thing.

I love him, but I’m so hurt and I’ve been going though a lot mentally so this really took a toll on my mental health. I really don’t know what to do so some advice would be really appreciated.

Venice’s response to worse boyfriend cheated

This one is going to be extremely easy.  Break up with him.

Ryan’s response to worse boyfriend cheated

I think telling a woman her vagina smells is equivalent to a woman telling a man his penis is small.  Although your penis may be small, you’d hope that your partner is more sensitive about it.  Him attacking your vagina smell seems like his way of beating down your self-esteem. It’s a form of abuse.  And the more you lose self-confidence, the less chance you have of breaking up with him.  Slowly disrespecting various things about your body (your weight, your vagina smell, your sense of style, your personality, and even your lack of sexual skills) and making you self-conscious, keeps you under his control.  What are the chances of you breaking up with him if you think every man is going to be grossed out by your vagina smell?  

Another control method is for a guy to compare you to his ex girlfriends.  Although most of the time, it’s never true.  His ex girlfriend being so great at sex is more than likely a porn he saw where the woman did everything his heart desires.  It’s what he wants in a woman, but uses his “ex” as a form of control.  Rather than comparing you to porn to get what he wants, he compares you to a tangible person that you’d more than likely try to compete with.  He knows this.  However the huge flaw here is, if his ex girlfriends were so much better in every way, why are they his ex girlfriends?

The perfect answer to the ex girlfriend scenario is simple:  “Well, leave me alone and go back to your ex girlfriend then.”  And to add a bit of spice, make sure you add, “If you mention anything about your ex’s to me again, we’re done.”  No exceptions.

Draw your line.  It works.

As far as openly telling you he cheated.  This is grounds to break up regardless.  He doesn’t respect you as a person.  If you allow him to cheat, allow him to admit he cheats, allow him to tell you his ex girlfriends are better than you, allow him to disrespect your smells, then what won’t you allow him to do?   

In other words, Venice said all this above in one sentence.  Break up with him.