A Real Couple Blogging About Sex, Life, and Everything In Between +

October 13, 2017

17 Things They Teach You At Blow Job School

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Ever wonder what goes down behind closed doors at blow job workshops? Wonder no more! 

1. Start slow. 

“It’s fun to start soft. Let your partner get hard in your mouth, without any motion. Just let them experience the warmth of your breath and wetness of your tongue then gently begin to suck. Anticipation will make your partner even hotter.” ― Rebekah Beneteau, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar “The Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matter”

2. Don’t shy away from lube.

“People often think that their own saliva will be enough lubrication to get the job done. It’s actually best to add a bit of lube to get started: either water-based or silicone. After a few minutes, you may build up enough of your own juices to keep the action going. Sucking on a hard, sugar-free candy can also help you build up saliva.” ― Melissa Jones, a sexologist and executive director of the Sexology Institute and Boutique in San Antonio, Texas

3. Get handsy. 

“Remember: A good blow job is 50 percent hands. Using your hands, with even pressure and friction in concert with your mouth, does more than what your mouth can do on its own. It can make or break a blow job experience.” ― Elle Chase, a sex educator and author of Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life

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October 13, 2017

Parents, Don’t Forget Anal Sex When Having ‘The Talk’ With Your Children

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I hate to “butt” into your discussion about the birds and the bees, but it’s time to start including anal sex in “the talk.”

Discussing sex with any teenager can be uncomfortable for all parties involved. My mother started talking to me about sex at the first sight of facial hair growing on my chin. I remember how dreadfully I wanted to crawl out of my skin; in retrospect, I’m sure she felt the same way. Throughout our discussion, she told me about how the penis is inserted inside of the vagina, how one drop of male ejaculation can impregnate a woman, and about the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases/infections. Our talk about the birds and the bees was largely based on the same heteronormative methods most parents guilelessly follow, even today.

However, regardless of one’s sexual orientation or gender identity, every person has an anus — well, almost everyone has an anus, according to NBC News — and can participate in anal sex. But like all forms of intercourse, anal sex comes with a risk, perhaps the greatest risks in comparison to all other sexual practices. Some of these risks include:

Increased risk of exposure to sexually transmitted diseases or infection

“Penetration can tear the tissue inside the anus, allowing bacteria and viruses to enter the bloodstream” WebMD says. Many sexually transmitted diseases and infections come from bodily fluids; tears in the anus increases the chance of bodily fluids entering through the tears and directly into the bloodstream.

Risk of permanently damaging the anus with personal hygiene upkeep

According to Dr. K is Jeffrey D. Klausner, “Douching could have some serious negative effects. First, frequent douching may compromise the natural protective fluids and lining in your anus.” When the body stops producing these fluids, it becomes more prone to tears and infections, which will make passing stool — or even sitting —extremely uncomfortable. Also, some of these instruments are not rectum friendly and will cause ulcers.

Risk of weakening the anal sphincter

“Repetitive anal sex may lead to weakening of the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold in feces until you can get to the toilet,” according to WebMD. Kegels can prevent this.

Risk of causing infections, even if both partners are negative for all sexually transmitted diseases and infections

“Even if both partners do not have a sexually-transmitted infection or disease, bacteria normally in the anus can potentially infect the giving partner” — WebMD. The anus naturally has bacteria, and depending on the insertive partner’s personal hygiene, they can be exposed to urinary tract infections.

Strangely enough, “Teen Vogue”’s “Guide to Anal Sex” greatly infuriated many parents. One parent, in particular, known as the Activist Mommy, tweeted a video of her furiously ripping and burning a “Teen Vogue” June edition magazine.

“They are teaching kids how to have anal intercourse. We should not be teaching children, period, how to have sex,” she said during her impassioned tirade. As she ripped the glossy magazine page by page and threw the remains into the small campfire, she called the “Teen Vogue” writers and editors “garbage” and requested that all parents go to their local libraries and stores to demand the expulsion of “Teen Vogue” content.

The controversial “Teen Vogue” article simply introduced safe practices for those that engage or plans to engage in anal sex. Some of these tips include using water or silicone-based lubricants to avoid rectal tearing, the significance of using condoms, and why one should go slowly during anal sex.

Absurdly, some parents falsely trust that their children will abstain from sex if they never learn about it. However, just because you didn’t teach your child about sex, it does not mean they can’t learn it from somewhere else. Some people, like my own mother, never had their parents talk to them about sex, but they still learned about it through pornographic films, sexually active peers, and other outside entities.

“My father told me to not let anyone touch my fur burger,” my mother said. “I didn’t even know what a vagina was until I was about 14-years-old.” She learned about sex after finding my grandfather’s collection of pornographic films. “Two years later, I was pregnant with you.”

According to National Center for Biotechnology Information’s study, and many others, children that have “the talk” with their parents are more likely to postpone sexual activity until they are older, and will often use protection while having sex.

Nevertheless, some parents might wonder what the appropriate age is to start discussing sex with their children. It is recommended to begin as early as 2 years old. It is not recommended to begin any discussion about sex being judgmental. Never make a child feel convicted before they actually engage in risky sex; otherwise, they won’t trust you, which means they won’t talk to you about anything.

Parents, if your children are really what you hold near and dear to you, their health must come first. Therefore, the talk about the birds and the bees has to happen, and it has to include anal sex. Heteronormativity must be dismantled in all conversations about sex. Remember: Children are crafty individuals. If you don’t share your knowledge about sex with them, someone else will. Ready to assume that risk?

 

Source: RSS Feed Huffingtonpost

 

October 11, 2017

Sex, Life and Everything Podcast….

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Hey guys, we are excited to announce that we are going to start a Sex, Life, and Everything podcast in the near future!  Much like all of our hobbies and adventures, we are not doing this for any other reason other than it seems fun and it’s going to be like an audio diary of sorts.  This is also why we started our blog!  We’ve never sold items or done anything beyond a few reviews, and we did those just to get free naughty items!  Our goals  for this podcast will be to learn to converse as a couple better and discuss.  We’ve always been huge on communication and discussing our issues, which we do, but unfortunately we fall a bit short on discussing our opinions on everyday things such as current events or our opinions on them.  Life kind of creates this puzzle between two people and you begin to find yourself always talking a certain way to your significant other.   For instance, I talk to Venice and she listens.  My opinion is a bit more passionate, so rather than her disagreeing, she usually listens and is non confrontational.  This means, she doesn’t share her opinion to save a possible argument.  She is a pleaser.  As much as I need to learn to discuss with her and keep an open mind, she needs to learn to open up and share her opinions, even if they are unpopular or I do not agree with them.  Like with everything we have done, this is a learning process.   

We will take questions from blog readers regarding relationships, sex, threesomes, the swing lifestyle, or anything of that nature.  You can email us at sexlifeandeverything@gmail.com.  Please put in the title, “Question for the Podcast.”  Our podcast will also deal with things such as current events, our opinions on these current events, our dreams, and just whatever comes up in our heads.  Although our blog was always sexual in nature, at some point we switched the focus to sex, life, and everything because we became more interested in things besides sex, and our website’s direction changed.  Well, the podcast will be the same.  The direction will be more about everything, but we want to make sure we still talk about sex because we are a sexual couple and have had a lot of experiences since we started this blog.

We will record the first few episodes with the cameras off so we can practice discussing.  We eventually plan on recording our podcast with the cameras on so our viewers/readers can watch as we discuss.  

September 29, 2017

The Historical Importance Of Anonymous Gay Sex

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The Historical Importance Of Anonymous Gay Sex

I had sex last night with a stranger. I was falling asleep one moment and the next I was wiping my ass clean. I don’t know the man’s name nor do I know his age. It was just before daybreak. My timing was impeccable. I captured him as the panic of a night’s impending failure was kicking in. You see, the end of the night brings a rush driven by the need for companionship. With each bar, club, dance floor comes a promise; a promise of connection, love, passion… if only for a night.

It is easy to forget that we are born naked, void of the societal expectations we assume to be natural. Throughout our lives, social scripts are imprinted onto our bodies with the subtlety of the greatest of con-artists. The scripts become a part of our being, directing our behavior, mentalities, and actions. Gendered behavior is perhaps the most obvious manifestation of these codes. Indeed, this is what gender theorist Judith Butler calls, Gender Performativity. Gender is entirely socially constructed. To break free of our prescribed gender role is to disturb the social system; it shatters the performance. Just look at the rise of Second Wave Feminism in the 1960s. However, for the most part, we remain oblivious, believing that the behaviors in which we engage are self-determined; that they are naturally rooted in our core being.

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September 3, 2017

Random Moments – My First Orgasm

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first timeLong before I knew what masturbation was – or sex, particularly how bodies operate and what goes inside what – I had already watched porn. I remember being four or five-years-old and going to a neighbor’s house because she had “the jiggly channel”…aka the Playboy channel. I’d come over to her house. A lot. A whole damn lot. Back then it had its own dedicated channel, not a shared channel that was only watchable after 10 p.m. My friend was another little girl, who probably didn’t have the same infatuation as I did in watching the jiggly channel. And I didn’t realized just how infatuated I was until one day she wasn’t home. I remember being really pissed, in the way a four-year-old can get pissed. I probably pulled the heads of my Barbies or threw my Dr. Seuss books on the ground. I mean, how else was I going to get my fix of seeing boobs and vaginas? Dicks not so much, gross. I wanted to see a vagina “in action.”

When I got older – maybe 10 or so – I got a TV in my room, and I discovered the long lost jiggly channel. Fuck yah. It was scrambled of course, but I had a great imagination. However, I was too scared to watch it because my parents’ room was right across from mine.

I had an issue of Cosmo and a Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog. I know! Next best thing, right?! If you don’t know Frederick’s of Hollywood, think Victoria’s Secret meets Spencer’s – raunchier, racier, and 1980s’er. In the back of the Cosmo were ads and lingerie you can order; and Frederick’s…well, that just goes without saying. Lots of nipples and chicks giving the “come hither” look. It wasn’t live action pussy-eating, but it would have to do. I flipped through Frederick’s and was instantly turned on by the lace-covered nipples. At that age, I wasn’t sure if I wanted have big tits or if I wanted to touch them. Probably the latter.

This was about the time I remember touching myself over my panties for the first time and it kind of feeling good. I remember circling my lips and finding a spot (my clitoris) that was super sensitive. I focused on this area and rubbed to the left, right, and around it. My body got warm and my heart rate increased. A slow and steady feeling began to swell in me and I didn’t know what was going on; all I knew is that it felt good and that I had to keep going and that it would get better. Finally, I felt the first twitch, like I was holding my pee, and it came in such a rapid succession that I couldn’t stop it if I could.

I was 11-years-old when I orgasmed for the first time. How do I remember this? Because I remember what was on my mind at the time of climax: a girl in my 7th grade English class. Did I fantasize about her, or kissing her, or wondering what she looked like under her shirt? Never. I can say without a doubt that when that first flood of twitching in my vagina first hit, I thought about her. What’s weird is that it wasn’t a sexual thought. It was more like, “I wonder if she did her homework last night?” It was probably a stream-of-consciousness thought that was more coincidence that fantasy. But the bottom line is: my only memory of my first orgasm was not the thought of bodies humping or two chicks eating each other out, but a girl who sat next to me in middle school.

I remember being very private about masturbation, never telling my friends, asking if they did it too. It just never came up. No one had ever seen me masturbate before until I met Ryan. I never felt close enough to anyone to let myself be seen that way. I felt I would be too embarrassed to be seen in such a vulnerable position. Even when Ryan and I masturbated mutually (not separately, but together) it was a new feeling to me. I had to get used to not feeling judged.  These days, I could pull up my skirt in the middle of a crowded theater and masturbate for Ryan if we wanted.  The comfort level and bubble has left me oblivious of my surroundings.  I also am not longer ashamed that I masturbate and enjoy cuddling with Ryan at night and still touching myself to relax and fall asleep.